Broken Roads
by Butterfly Betty
Summary: Third story in FBI saga: Bella is lured back into the FBI when one of the team is hurt. Will she be able to find the perp before they strike again? Cannon coupling, language, and lemons. AU&MA Should read Here We Go Again and Flightless Bird first.
1. Chapter 1

He was late. I shook my head as I looked around, seeing nobody and nothing here on the pier. Nothing but the damp darkness that surrounded me and the sound of the rain hitting the water. I should have fucking known that motherfucker couldn't be trusted. I wrapped my jacket around my body, trying to keep in the last of my dwindling body heat but it was futile. It was fucking freezing and he wasn't coming. I had just turned to head back over to my car when my cell phone rang. Looking down at the ID, I saw that it was my wife. I flipped it open and brought it up to my ear.

"Hello, Baby," I said, smiling.

"You should see how beautiful she looks," chuckled the deep, gravely voice of the man I had been waiting for. My heart stopped.

"What the fuck are you doing with my wife's phone?" I asked, terror filling me as I took off running to my car.

"I'm watching her. She doesn't seem to like being tied to my chair, though," he said, coldly. "I like her bound like this. Makes me want to do horribly, violent things to her."

"Don't," I yelled, half begging as I jumped into my car. "Don't hurt her."

"You had better hurry then," he cackled. "My hand is getting awfully twitchy."

"If you touch her, I will fucking kill you," I growled, starting my car and throwing it in reverse.

"Hmm, I don't much like threats, Agent," he commented. In the background, I heard a loud slap and her screaming. "Oh, look, I touched her. Guess you'll have to kill me now."

"Count on it," I snapped.

The phone went dead and I dropped it onto the seat, pressing my foot down on the gas pedal and speeding up. I wasn't sure what kind of fucking game this mother fucker was playing but I'll be damned if I let him bring her into this. This was between me and him, she had nothing to do with this at all. Crazy, ass motherfucker.

I slammed on my brakes as soon as I was in front of our house, throwing the door open and scrambling out. I was vaguely aware of the fact that I had left the car running, but my main focus was getting inside. I threw the door open and scrambled into the house, looking everywhere for any trace of my wife but there were none.

The living room looked like it always did; neat and tidy. Fear rushed through me as I ran through the house, looking for any sign that my wife was still here. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I took a deep breath, completely unsure of who or what I was going to find when I went upstairs. Something told me that it wasn't going to be good.

I quickly but quietly made my way up the stairs. The door to our bedroom was just barely open and the light was on. Fearing the worst, I made my way down the hallway and pushed the door open. There sitting in the chair to our desk was my wife. She was tied to the chair and gagged. Her hair was matted and she had a bruise already forming around her eye. She looked at me, eyes wide and full of fear.

"Fuck," I muttered, rushing over to her.

However I had barely taken a step when someone grabbed me and pulled me back, slamming me against the wall. Loud, cackling laughter echoed through the room and my wife screamed against the gag in her mouth, pulling on the restrains around her wrists and ankles. A tall, thin dark haired man came up behind her, smirking at me as he wrapped his hand around her throat.

"I told you that she was beautiful," he chuckled.

"Let her go," I gritted out.

"You know I can't do that, Agent," he sighed, turning and running his noise along her cheek. She shivered in disgust. "She smells good, too."

"Leave her alone," I growled, pulling against the two mean who were holding against the wall. "This has nothing to do with her."

"Oh, I know," he said, standing up. He grabbed her hair, pulling her head back. "But she's in it now and that is all because you couldn't keep your nose out of business that wasn't yours, Agent."

The man pulled a long, silver knife out of the back of his pants, bringing it up around to the front of my wife. Both of our eyes somehow widened as she looked right at me, fear dripping from them. Without another word, the man raised the knife in the air and plunged it into her. I screamed, fighting against the men who were holding me but it didn't do me any good.

"NO, GODDAMN IT!" I yelled, watching her head fall back as he let go. He laughed as he came over and stood in front of me. "YOU WILL FUCKING PAY FOR THIS, YOU BASTARD!"

"I'm counting on it, Agent Mitchell," he smirked, plunging the knife into me several times. The men holding me, let go of my arms and I crumbled to the floor, gasping for air. He knelt down next to me, pushing me onto my back. "You should have heeded my warning."

He brought the knife down again, thrusting it into my chest before standing up and walking out, leaving me and Kate there bleeding. Gasping for air, I rolled onto my side and crawled over where the house phone laid, partially hidden under the bed. Grabbing it, I punched in the phone number, drawing on every ounce of strength I had.

"Hey, this is Bella, you know what to do so do it already," came her sassy voice. I opened my mouth several times, trying to get the words out but none came.

"B…B…Bell…a," I choked out, tasting the blood rising in my throat. "H..help…p…p…please."

The phone fell out of my hands and to the ground. As darkness caved in around me, I prayed that Bella would get my message soon.

**So, here is the start to the next story in my FBI saga. If you haven't read Here We Go Again and Flightless Bird, turn around now and go read them or this won't make much sense. Short start but as most of you know, they will get longer. Updates will be slow at first while I wrap up a few other stories. Review and let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

"They look like a bunch of motherfucking babies," I muttered, moving my hand to cover my mouth as I spoke. My partner at the academy, Devin Nelson, stifled his laughter as much as he could. "How can we send them out into the world to protect people?"

"Because they've been trained by the best," he said, winking.

"And by the best, you mean you of course, right?" I smirked.

"Duh," he snorted. "You, Bella, never made it to the FBI like I did."

"Oh, but you couldn't handle the pressure," I chuckled, enjoying our little game of role reversal. "You pussied out after just a few short years."

"You did not," he said, turning serious. I rolled my eyes and looked back at our latest class of recruits.

It's been a year since I started my job here at the Seattle Police Academy. A year since I've stepped foot inside the FBI building that was once my life, or at the very least a huge part of my life. I've seen dozens of young men and women come through the academy and go out into the real world, ready to fight against the evils of the world. They would never be truly ready. Not really. There was so much that we couldn't teach them, so much they had to learn on the job.

"I can't believe they're actually letting them carry guns now," sighed Devin as we stood up.

The graduation ceremony had just ended and all our recruits were milling around, hugging each other and talking about where they have been assigned. The two of us walked out of the auditorium and headed down to our office, not wanting to hang around for the 'you've taught me so much and I don't know how I am going to do it without you' speech that we get every time we send a new class of recruits out.

I unlocked our office and pushed the door open, flipping on the light and headed over to my metal desk. Our office was pretty basic, four white walls with nothing on them. Two metal desks with a phone, an ancient computer and two filing cabinets. That's about it. Neither Devin nor I sent a lot of time in our office so we didn't bother decorating. We mostly spent our time out in the gym, whipping the recruits into shape and listening to them bitch and moan about how mean we were, mostly me, and how it wasn't fair that we expected more out of recruits than other instructors did.

Of course, we didn't give a shit that they didn't like us, we knew that one day when they were on the field, they would find themselves in a situation and something we taught them would not only save their lives, but hopefully the lives of someone who needed them. Plopping down in my seat, I unbuttoned the top button on my police uniform and leaned back in my seat. Devin went over and plopped down in his own chair, grabbing us a couple of sodas from our mini fridge and tossing me one. It was all a part of our ritual.

"Thanks," I said, placing the can on my desk.

"You should go home," he commented. "You look kind of like crap."

"Ha, thanks," I snorted. I opened my coke and took a deep draw, carbonation burning my throat as it went down. After nearly of week of not sleeping, I knew he was just being honest. I did look like shit. "Do you really think they were ready?"

"Yes," smiled Devin. "Bella, we've taught them everything we can here. They have to learn the rest out in the real world, just like we all did."

"You're right," I sighed, standing up. "I'm heading home. See you later, Dev."

"Later," he nodded.

I pulled on my jacket and grabbed my bag before walking out of my office and leaving my partner alone. I climbed into my car and headed to the beach house. Edward and I were having Carlisle and Esme over for dinner. Izzy and Abby were staying with Liz and Ed, giving Carlisle and Esme a night away from the girls. At almost nine years and eighteen months old, they were quite the handful and they both needed the break. The past year had been difficult for all of us. I was still dealing with the effects of my abduction and torture. Night terrors, sleepless nights, and memories, often made it hard to be around everyone sometimes and for the most part, they were all understanding. I just wanted to go back to being the Bella I was before Lauren Mallory walked into our office and asked for us to help her find her sister.

Her sister, Natalie, and Sam Uley disappeared again after they testified against all the men involved in the human trafficking/sex slave ring. Where ever they were, I hoped they were happy. They deserved it after everything they had been through. Daphne Harrison moved to Florida with her grandmother, Estella. She had sent me and Edward a couple of cards but it was hard for her. Esme set her up with a therapist, which she saw but she had a lot of shit to deal with. Daphne's parents were convicted in her kidnapping, rape, and nearly a dozen other charges. I hoped they rot in hell for what they did to their child.

I pulled my car up in my parking space and headed up to the beach house. As I opened the door, I saw Carlisle and Esme sitting on the couches with Edward. The year hadn't really changed them at all. Carlisle was still as handsome as ever. His blond hair was a little thinner than it was a year ago but his blue eyes still sparkled brightly. Esme was even more beautiful. She had cut her auburn hair into a stylish bob. Edward, my sweet husband, was still the most incredibly gorgeous man that I had ever seen and he was mine. All mine.

"Sorry, I am late," I smiled, shutting the door behind me and setting my bag on the table next to the door. "The ceremony dragged on. Give me two seconds to change."

"I'll come with you," said Esme, standing up. She followed me into mine and Edward's bedroom and shut the door. "They were boring me with talk over football."

"Ugh, I hate when they do that," I groaned as I started unbuttoning my shirt. "How is football really that exciting?"

"I don't know," sighed Esme, setting on the edge of the bed.

I pulled off my shirt, tossing it the hamper. The scars on my back and chest had faded so much that they were barely noticeable to anyone but me. To me, they were still the bright red, angry looking scars that had haunted me for the past year. I tried not to think about them but they were hard to ignore. As I slipped on a t-shirt, I turned and looked back at Esme. She was looking at a one of mine and Edward's wedding pictures.

"This is my favorite picture of the two of you," she murmured, smiling as she looked up at me.

"Mine, too," I smiled, pulling off my slacks and putting on a pair of jeans. "Hard to believe it's been a year."

"Yeah," she murmured.

Esme and I headed back into the other room. However, she walked over and joined Carlisle and Edward on the couch while I headed into the kitchen to get dinner put in the oven. I had made the chicken spaghetti this morning, knowing that it was Carlisle's favorite food. I had just put it in the oven when I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around me, pulling me into their body. I sighed as I melted into my husband's embrace.

"You are supposed to be out there entertaining our guests," I murmured, leaning my head back against his chest. Edward laughed softly as he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"They can manage for a few minutes," he whispered. "You looked smoking hot in your uniform."

"You say that every time I wear it," I giggled, turning in his arms and wrapping mine around his neck. "How was work?"

"Boring," he said, smiling. "Garrett was gone today so I spent the day going over some old case files."

"Where was Gar?" I asked.

"I don't know," shrugged Edward. "He called and said he had some things to do."

"Hmm, that's odd," I said, pulling away and taking the salad out of the fridge. "Ok, we have about ten minutes before dinner is ready so let's go play nice with Carlisle and Esme."

Edward laughed as he leaned down and kissed me. I followed him out to the living room and settled down on the couch with him. Carlisle had Esme tucked into his side, holding her as close as he could. They were so beautiful together, loving and amazing. In the past year, our friendship with them had only gotten closer. They were the only ones who truly understood how much I needed them, how much I still struggled to get through one day to the next. They were my support.

"So how was the graduation ceremony?" asked Carlisle, smirking.

"Long winded," I laughed. "I don't know. I'm not sure this class was ready to go into the field."

"You say that about every class you send through," smiled Esme. "None of them will ever be at your standard."

"Probably not," I admitted, leaning against Edward.

"It's been awhile since we had a night like this, hasn't it?" asked Esme, looking around. "No kids yelling and screaming as they ran through the house."

"How's Izzy enjoying third grade?" I asked.

"She's not really," admitted Esme. "She says the work is too easy. We are thinking about having her tested for their advanced placement classes but we don't want to put too much pressure on her. It's tricky."

"You should," I said, softly. "Holding her back is just going to cause her to act out more. She'll be fine."

"Maybe," murmured Carlisle, looking right at me. "We just don't want her to go through what you did."

"She won't," I said. "I was alone in my classes, she'll be with other kids who need the extra stimuli. Besides, Izzy is much stronger than I ever was."

"Well, we aren't deciding anything yet," said Esme. "Just something we are thinking about."

"Dinner should be about ready," I murmured, standing up.

Edward squeezed my hand as I walked past him. I walked into the kitchen and pulled the chicken spaghetti out of the oven just as my cell phone started ringing. Instead of answering it, I let the call go to my voice mail. I set the dish on top of the stove and grabbed one of my serving spoons, matching sure that it was hot.

"That smells delicious," said Carlisle. I smiled as I looked over my shoulder, finding him leaning against the doorframe.

"It always was your favorite," I murmured. "Remember the first time I made it for you?"

"How could I forget," he laughed, pushing off the frame and coming over and standing behind me, letting his hands rest on my hips. "Valentine's days."

"You bought me a box of those little candy hearts with the words on them." I smiled. "We drank cream soda and sat on the fire escape outside of my apartment, eating our food and watching the stars."

"It was so cold," he snorted, kissing the top of my head.

"Freezing," I murmured. "That was right before we got the first package from James."

"Yeah," he sighed, letting my hips go and leaning against the counter next to me. "Are you ok? You're acting different."

"I'm fine," I said, smiling weakly. "Just tired."

"Long week?" he asked.

I nodded my head. "I've been having trouble sleeping again."

"Why?" he asked, seriously.

"Weird dreams," I muttered. "They don't make sense. Just lots of blood and people screaming. Someone starts whispering my name and asking me to help them but I don't know who it is."

"One of the girls from the case?" he asked, slowly. I tensed automatically as I thought about that case. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I murmured. "No, it's a male voice. Familiar, yet I don't recognize it." Looking up at Carlisle, I noticed the worried look on his face. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Have you told Esme?" he asked. I shook my head, looking back down at the food. "Why not?"

"Because it's nothing," I sighed. "Just my imagination playing tricks on me."

"Bella-"

"Baby, your phone is dinging with a new voice mail," said Edward, coming into the kitchen with my cell phone in his hand. "It's driving me crazy."

"Sorry," I laughed, taking it from him. "Take everything out to the table, I'll be right there."

"Ok," He smiled, winking at me.

Carlisle and Edward carried our dinner out to the table while I checked on my voice mail. I could hear Edward telling Esme that I would be right in. The call was from Garrett but I wasn't sure why he was calling me, especially this late. I reached up into the cabinet and pulled out a glass as the message started.

"B…B…Bell…a…H..help…p…p…please."

The glass slipped from my hand, falling to the ground and shattering. Someone screamed and it took me a moment to realize that it was me.

"BELLA!" yelled Edward, rushing into the kitchen. I hadn't even realized that I had fallen to my knees and was clutching the phone in my hand. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Gar," I whispered, looking up at him. "Something is wrong."

"What are you talking about?" asked Carlisle. It was then that I realized that Carlisle and Esme were in the kitchen, too. I turned on the speaker phone and replayed the message for them.

"B…B…Bell…a…H..help…p…p…please." As Garrett's plea hung in the air, I could see the looks on their faces. Pure fear that he needed us. Edward whipped out his cell phone as he walked into the room. I scrambled to my feet as I followed Carlisle and Esme after him.

"Straight to his voice mail," muttered Edward, closing his phone. Looking back at us, he sighed. "We should have someone go over."

"I'm on it," said Carlisle, quickly, pulling out his own phone.

"Tell them we'll meet them there," said Edward, grabbing his keys.

Carlisle placed the call, requesting that the police meet us over at Garrett and Kate's house. I could from the one sided phone call that they weren't sure they should send someone over but when one of the bosses at the FBI tell you to get your asses over there, you do. Period. Esme was clearly shaken as we climbed into their car and headed over. I reached over and grabbed her hand, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be ok. I only wished that I could believe that.

When we pulled up in front of Garrett and Kate's house, there were two black and white's already in front, lights flashing. The four of us climbed out of the car but Esme pulled her hand out of mine. Looking back at her, I understood that she couldn't go in. She wasn't prepared to see the gore that we had become so used to. I wasn't sure I was either but I knew I had to. Turning, I followed Edward and Carlisle into the house. There was a uniform cop standing just inside the door, hand over his mouth and green tint to his skin. Clearly, he was a rooky.

"FBI," said Carlisle, flashing his badge. "What do you have?"

"Two down upstairs. Multiple stabs wounds to the male, single wound to the female," he explained. "Ambulance just took off with both, but it's not looking good."

Carlisle nodded his head as he looked back at Edward. "Call the rest of the team," he muttered. "We're taking over this."

Edward didn't say anything as he walked back outside, clearly shaken. Carlisle looked at me for a moment before heading over for the stairs. Silently, I followed him, knowing that I wasn't going to like what I was going to see but knowing that I had to see it for myself. Garrett had called me, asking for my help, and I had let the call go to my voice mail. How could I have been so stupid?

As we made our way upstairs, I tried to see if there was anything out of place. Could this have simply been a robbery gone wrong? Had Garrett and Kate interrupted someone trying to steal from them? Somehow, I didn't think so. Nothing seemed to be missing, there weren't any empty spaces on the table in the hallway or blank spots on the wall. I followed Carlisle down the hallway to Kate and Garrett's bedroom, feeling the bile rise up in my throat.

The door was wide open and I could see the blood pooling on the carpet under a wooden chair. Ropes were on the ground and one of them had been tied to the chair. Was it Kate? Had Garrett come home and found his wife tied to the chair? Walking into the room, we found two more officers taking pictures.

"Who was the first one on the scene?" asked Carlisle.

"I was," said one of the officers. He turned and faced us and I mentally groaned. He had been one of my first recruits, Christopher Murphy. His eyes widened when he noticed me. "Agent Swan."

**Thank you for all the reviews over the first chapter. I am sorry it took me so long to get this one out but real life has been insane and very cold. Thankfully, it's supposed to warm up.**


	3. Chapter 3

Christopher Murphy had been a thorn in my side since my first day at the academy. As if his attitude toward having a woman instructor, much less one that knocked him on his ass on our first day together, wasn't enough, I didn't take any of his shit and when it came time for him to graduate, he was lucky to have passed my test at all. Some might say that I was extra hard on him, and they would be right. I was and for good reason. Christopher Murphy had what it took to be a great cop, if he could get rid of the chip on his shoulder.

Nodding my head, I said, "Recruit." Christopher shook his head, laughing under his breath. "Something funny, Recruit?" I snapped, causing Carlisle and the officer next to him to look over at me. "The last time I checked the brutal attack of two people was nothing to laugh about."

"No, Ma'am," he said, quickly. I rolled my eyes and looked around the room, ignoring Carlisle's snort. He knew too well what a bitch I was at a crime scene.

Garrett and Kate's queen size bed was still made, the beige and sage green bedding smooth and soft. The pillows were still in place and on each nightstand sat an alarm clock, a stack of books, and a box of tissues. On the other side of the room stood a tall oak armoire , a four drawer dresser, and a matching bookshelf, stuffed full of books. On top of the dresser was an antique jewelry box that Kate's mother had left her. I moved over and looked inside, seeing at least a grand's worth of jewelry still inside. With the exception of the blood seeping into the carpet, everything looked normal.

"Nobody touched anything, right, Recruit?" I asked, surveying the room. "The room was found just like this?"

"Yes, ma'am, except the ropes on the chair," said Christopher, gesturing to the middle of the room.

One of Garrett and Kate's dining room chairs sat in the middle of the room, blood seeping into the ivory seats. Kate and I had searched for months for the right chairs to match the table she and Garrett had bought at a garage sale. Garrett and Edward laughed that we took the chore too seriously but we finally found the right chairs in a small antique store downtown. She had been so happy when we brought them in that she cooked us a huge meal and we broke them in. Now, there were scratches in the wood on the legs and armrests from where she pulled on the ropes.

"She was the one tied to the chair." It was a statement and not a question.

"Yes," Christopher answered. "She had duct tape over her mouth, and was bound to the chair. The man-"

"Agent Mitchell," I muttered, interrupting him. "His name is Special Agent Garrett Mitchell and she is Kate, his wife of eight years. Get it straight, Recruit."

"Agent Swan," said Carlisle, placing his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off but didn't say anything else as he turned to Christopher. "Where was Agent Mitchell?"

"He was laying over here by the bed. The house phone was found next to him. Based on the trail of blood, it looks like he was standing over here," said Christopher, moving over to one of the walls. The carpet was saturated with blood and there were drag marks leading over to where he had been found. "We think he must have been standing here when he was stabbed. He moved over here to call for help."

_Called me for help, I thought bitterly_.

"Keep everyone out until our people get here," said Carlisle, gripping my arm.

I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what he was telling me; that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't have done anything to stop this. And while that may be true to a point, if I had answered my phone when it went off instead of letting it go to my voicemail, we would have gotten here sooner. That was my fault.

Carlisle and I made our way out of the room and out into the hallway. We were about to start down the stairs when something caught my eye. I pulled my arm free of Carlisle's grip and walked over, pushing the door to Garrett's office open. It had been ransacked. Papers thrown everywhere, books pulled off the bookshelf, and his personal computer was gone, yet Kate's laptop was still in the living room. I saw it as we came in.

"Why would they ransack the office but leave the rest of the house in tact?" asked Carlisle, moving up behind me.

"Good question," I murmured, moving into the room. "What were they looking for?"

Carlisle knew I wasn't asking him but trying to process the room in my head. I moved over and squatted down next to a few of the papers, looking at them without touching them. There was no way whoever did this left us a print or anything behind, they were too smart, but we would still have to have everything processed. From what I could tell, everything laying on the floor were Garrett and Kate's private papers; the loan information on their house and Kate's bar, their financial statements, medical records, tax information, and copies of credit card bills but nothing that screamed break into my house and kill me.

"Something is off here," I said, mostly to myself. "If they were looking for money, they would have cleaned out her jewelry box and taken all the electronics. That's what burglars do but these people didn't. Why?"

I pulled a pen off the desk, and flipped over one of the bank statements. It was from the last month and showed that Garrett and Kate had a few thousands in a savings account, around the same in their joint checking, but other than that, they were living pretty tightly. Nothing out of the ordinary, anyway. I shook my head as I stood up and moved to the books, while Carlisle searched around the desks.

The books had been yanked off the shelves, pages torn out and discarded. I knelt down next to them, looking at the titles. None of them really stood out to me, most of them were science fiction stories or true crime books. I always teased Garrett that he never really left work at work because he would become so absorbed in one of these books, trying to uncover anything the detectives hadn't. I turned as Edward came in, pale and clearly shaken. Garrett had been his partner for the past year.

"Emily and her team will be here in two and the rest of the team is on the way to the hospital," said Edward, clearing his throat. "None of the neighbors heard anything out of the ordinary but the lady two houses down said she said a black SUV parked up the block. It's not there now. She didn't get a plate number, though."

"A black SUV," mused Carlisle. "Only a few thousand of those around."

"Yeah," sighed Edward, shaking his head. "Find anything up here?"

"No, and we won't," I said, standing up. Both Carlisle and Edward looked up at me, cocking eyebrows. "What?"

"We?" asked Carlisle. I rolled my eyes, shifting my gaze back to the books in front of me.

"Don't," I muttered. "It was just a figure of speech."

"Oh, ok," he snorted, shaking his head. "Let's get down to the hospital."

I followed Carlisle and Edward downstairs and out of the house, taking a deep breath of cool air. Esme was leaning against the car, arms wrapped around her body. While Carlisle and Edward went over and started questioning a couple of the other officers, I moved over and stood next to Esme, wrapping my arms around her.

"In all the years that I have been around the FBI, this is the first time it's hit this close," murmured Esme, shaking her head. "Goddamn it, Bella, that's Garrett and Kate!"

"I know," I murmured, laying my head on her shoulder. "It's always hard but it gets even harder when it's people you know, people you care about."

"Yeah," whispered Esme, pulling away from me. "I really fucking hate the FBI."

Esme climbed into the car, shutting the door behind her. I sighed, knowing that she was angry and upset. This was going to mean so much more to us than it did to anyone else, and she knew that. This attack was personal, even if it had nothing to do with us. Carlisle and Edward came over and we headed down to the hospital, hoping and praying that we weren't going to find out that Kate or Garrett were gone.

When we walked into the ER, we found Emmett, standing at the nurse's desk, looking quite aggravated. The poor nurse standing in front of him, looked shell shocked.

"Why are you just standing there?" snapped Emmett, slamming his fist onto the counter again. "Go find me a fucking doctor who can tell me anything!"

"McCarty!" bellowed Carlisle, causing Emmett to spin around. "Sit."

Carlisle gestured at one of the seats. Emmett pursed his lips together as he moved over and sat down. If we had been here for any other reason than Garrett and Kate, I would have teased him for following Carlisle's order like a good little dog, but this was not the time, nor the place. Edward, Carlisle, and I stepped up to the desk, ignoring the scared look on the nurses face.

"We need an update on Garrett and Kate Mitchell," said Carlisle, politely.

"Sir, as I already explained to the big fella," she said, motioning toward Emmett, "they both are in surgery and as soon as one of the surgeons can, they will be out to talk to you."

"Thank you," said Carlisle, nodding at her.

She smiled but it was fake. I resisted the urge to reach across the desk, grab her by the back of the head and slam her face into the countertop. Violence was not the answer, I reminded myself. Glaring the ever loving fuck out of her head, I followed Edward and Carlisle over and took the seat next to Emmett, who was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

Before any of us could say anything, Jasper, Mike, and Tyler came rushing in. Mike, who had come along way in the last year, was wearing a pair of MC Hammer pants that had weird zigzag shapes all over them and at least ten different colors. It looked like someone had thrown up on them. He was wearing a bright orange t-shirt, as well. Simply put, he looked stupid but I didn't have the energy to razz the fuck out of him.

"How are they?" asked Jasper, pulling a chair over in front of us.

"They are in surgery but we don't know anything more," said Carlisle, clearing his throat. "Kate was stabbed once while Garrett was struck multiple times."

"Burglary gone bad?" asked Emmett.

"Don't think so," I said, quietly. "Other than the office being ransacked, there were no signs of anything out of the ordinary."

"With the exception of the blood drying into the carpet," snipped Mike. I glared at him but he just leaned back in his chair. He was still an ass, always would be one.

"Clearly," I gritted, feeling my temper rise.

"Any idea why he would have called you, Bella?" asked Jasper, softly. Everyone looked over at me, hoping I had an answer to share with them.

I shook my head. "No idea," I murmured. "Was he working on anything new?"

"No," said Edward, leaning forward. "He and I were reviewing some cold cases but nothing stood out on them."

"What about behavior?" I asked. "Anything odd with how he was acting?"

"He seemed aloof lately," sighed Edward, shaking his head. "I don't know. He said he had a lot on his mind, but nothing specific. I just don't know."

"Ok, we need to dive…" Carlisle trailed off as a doctor came over to us, scrubs stained with blood and a grim look on his face.

"Are you here for Agent Mitchell and his wife?" asked the doctor.

"Yes," gulped Carlisle, standing up. "How are they?"

"In pretty bad shape," sighed the doctor. "Kate Mitchell had a single stab wound to her abdomen. It perforated her spleen and she lost a lot of blood. We were able to stop the bleeding but we had to remove it."

"Was she sexual assaulted?" I asked, clenching my hands into tight fists.

"We don't think so," he said, slowly.

"You don't think?" I asked, harshly. "Did you check? Run a rape kit?"

"There was a lot of bruising, all over her body. We can't be sure if she was raped or not. We didn't find any semen or DNA but that doesn't mean anything," he explained. "I wish I could tell you for sure."

"How's Agent Mitchell?" asked Carlisle, placing his hand on my shoulder. I knew he was trying to get me to calm down but I knew better than anyone what Kate had been through.

"Agent Mitchell had multiple wounds to his chest and abdomen. We had to take out his spleen, part of his liver, and he nearly lost one of his lungs. We were able to stop the bleeding but his body has been through quite the trauma. We've moved them both to the ICU," he said. He hesitated, like he wanted to say something else but wasn't sure he should.

"Something you want to say, Dr…" I let it go, not having caught his name before.

"Dr. Thornton," he supplied. "I'm not sure who did this to these two, or why, but whoever it was, wanted to make sure that Kate suffered the most. They beat her pretty severely before they tied her down."

"How can you be sure that they tied her down after they beat her?" I asked.

"Because she had defensive wounds," he explained. "Bruises and scrapes on her hands, nails torn. She fought back." He paused again. "I hope you find whoever did this and nail their asses to the wall."

Dr. Thornton turned and walked back into the ER, leaving us all just standing there. Bile rose in my throat as I thought about what Kate had been through; beaten and tied to that chair. Bringing my hand up, I closed my eyes as flashes of my time in captivity came rushing back to me. Nobody should ever have had to know what that felt like, least of all Kate.

Edward slipped his arm around my waist, silently soothing the panic that had started to rise. "We need to get people on their doors. Whoever did this might come back to finish the job," he said.

Carlisle nodded and looked over at Tyler. "Make the call," he ordered. Tyler didn't say anything as he pulled his cell phone out and walked away, calling the Seattle PD to get their people on the door. Carlisle turned and looked at me and I knew what was coming. "Bella."

"Car," I whispered, shaking my head. "I don't know if I can do it."

"You have to," he pleaded, quietly with me. "We need you on this. They need you on this."

Closing my eyes, and running my hands over my face, I turned from everyone and faced the window over looking the parking lot. Did Carlisle know what he was asking me to do? Did he understand that by asking me to do this that he was asking me to leave myself open to the darkness again? Did he understand that I may not make it back if I fall again?

"Bell," said Carlisle.

"Ok," I whispered. Turning, I looked back at him. "I'll come back to the FBI for them but I hope you know what you are asking me to do."

**Thank you for all the reviews. I am so glad that you all are back for our third journey. It's going to be a bumpy ride, I think. **


	4. Chapter 4

I slipped out of mine and Edward's bed sometime around three in the morning. We hadn't even been back home for more than a few hours and I hadn't gotten any sleep whatsoever. My nerves were running rampant and I was scared to death. I changed into a pair of sweats, a long sleeve t-shirt and one of Edward's hoodies before slipping my running shoes on. Being as quiet as I could, I slipped out of our bedroom and out of the beach house. I had to do something to get all of this out and, right now, running seemed to be a good choice.

I hadn't been back to the FBI building since the day I stood in front of everyone and told them that I was leaving, that I was quitting. While I knew that the team was going to need me, I didn't want to help them. I would do it for Garrett and Kate, but I didn't want to be back there, dealing with monsters again. I was just starting to feel like I had a little bit of control on my life and it scared the shit out of me to think that I could lose all of that. What if this was the final nail in my coffin?

After I nearly ran myself into the ground, I plopped down into the sand and buried my feet. There was going to be so many problems with my return to the FBI. I was going to have to leave my position with the academy, at least temporarily. Devin would be fine. He would be able to handle whatever our next class of recruits threw at him, but he shouldn't have to do it alone. I was his partner and I was letting him down. I pulled my knees up as I thought about my family.

They might try to hide it but I knew they were all relieved that I had left the FBI and was in a safer job. Safer than chasing baddies all the time, at least. Rose had her hands full with Miles and Judd, who had just turned one. Alice's clothing line had taken off. Charlie was running a small private security job but he stayed in the office, something that made Renee much happier. She had started taking a few classes, just trying to find something, anything, that would give her something to do. The five of us had worked hard on rebuilding our relationship over the last year and we were almost where we were before my abduction. Would this be too much for them to handle? Would they understand that while I didn't want to go back, I needed to? I wasn't so sure.

I finally made my way back up the beach and into the house. It was just after six in the morning and I could hear the shower running. Smiling to myself, I stripped off my clothes and headed into the bathroom. I pulled back the curtain and joined my husband in the shower, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"How was your run?" he asked.

"Fine," I murmured. "Did I wake you?"

"No," he said, turning in my arms. He leaned down and pecked me on the lips. "I just know you. You're nervous, aren't you?"

"Terrified," I admitted.

"I'm going to be right there with you," he whispered, leaning his forehead down onto mine.

"What if it's not enough?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"I don't know, Baby," he murmured.

As we had been talking, Edward's hands had been roaming over my body, letting his fingers say just as much as his lips were. I lifted my head and captured his lips with mine. I needed him, to feel him against me, inside me. To feel him loving me, body and soul. Edward moved his hands to my ass, lifting me up and pressing me against the wall. I locked my ankles around his waist as he thrust himself into me, pausing as he filled me.

"How is it that you always feel so fucking good?" he asked, pulling back and pushing back into me.

"I could ask you the same," I said, gasping as Edward set a steady rhythm.

My fingers were buried in Edward's hair, silently begging him to move faster, go harder. He seemed to hear my silent plead as he began thrust harder, faster. My body began to shake as my orgasm soared through me, throwing me over the edge. As my walls clenched down on him, I pulled Edward's hair.

"Oh fuck, Bella," he growled, slamming his hips into me once more and finding his own release. Edward dropped his head onto my shoulder, panting softly. "You know how insane it makes me when you pull my hair."

"I do," I giggled. "That's why I do it."

"My sexy minx," he growled, kissing me. "I love you, baby. I will do everything I can to keep you sane."

"I love you, too," I said, quietly. "Just don't leave me, ok?"

"Never," he promised.

Edward and I finished showering and got ready for work. Today would be the first time in a year that I didn't get dressed in my academy uniform. It felt odd to be wearing black pants, a white dress shirt, and my leather boots again. I added just a small amount of make-up, trying to cover up the dark circles from not sleeping all night, and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. Edward was waiting for me in the living room with my travel mug of coffee and two pieces of toast. He was a good man. I followed him out to the car and we headed down to the office. I just hoped that this wasn't a mistake.

Edward parked his car in front of the FBI building and cut the engine. We climbed out and made our way up to the front of the building. During the entire walk, my body was tense and rigid, my heart was racing and my head spinning. Bile rose in my throat and I fought the urge to find the nearest bush and throw up. Stopping just as my hand was on the handle to the door, I froze. I was actually coming back to work for the FBI. Fuck my life.

"Breathe, Bella," said Edward placing his hand over mine. "You can do this."

"If I can't?" I asked, looking up at him.

"You can," he said, again.

"And if I can't?" I repeated. "What will happen if I go in there and find myself in hell again?"

"Then I will be right here, pulling your ass out, but it's going to happen because you are not the same Bella you were a year ago," he said, pulling my hand off the handle. Edward reached over and opened the door for me. "Take the first step to getting the rest of your life back."

"What the fuck ever," I muttered, stepping into the building.

Edward stepped in after me and let the door shut behind us. I wanted to turn and run out of the building but I didn't. Edward was right, I needed to do this, just as much as for myself as for Garrett and Kate. It was time I stopped running and faced the horrors I had attached to this building. Edward placed his hand on my back, urging me forward. I took one step, then another, and another, until I didn't have to tell my feet to keep moving.

As we made our way across the lobby, other agents stopped and watched. It was probably a good thing I didn't have my gun back or I would have killed them all. Staring was a problem for me, I didn't like it. We approached the visitors desk and stood there, waiting for Karen, the woman who manned the desk to stop gawking at me. She had been with the bureau for as I had been here and knew full well what I was coming back to.

"Karen," said Edward, clearing his throat. She shifted her eyes off of me and over to him. "Agent Swan needs her pass."

"Of course," muttered Karen, dropping her gaze down as she fumbled around her desk. She handed the pass out to me and I took it, ignoring her flinch.

"Thanks," I said, dryly. I started to walk away but Karen reached out and grabbed my arm. I looked back at her and she quickly let go.

"Director Burkhart wanted to see you the minute you arrived…Agent Swan," she said, quickly.

"Ok," I said, nodding my head. "Was there anything else?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Welcome back, Agent Swan."

"Yeah, thanks," I muttered.

Edward and I headed over to the elevator. He offered to come up to the director's office with me but this was something I was going to have to do on my own. Edward seemed to understand as he just kissed me and told me he would see me when I made it down to our offices. It was hard to think about that floor as being our offices anymore. I hadn't been a member of the team in a year, longer really.

When the doors to the elevator opened on the eighth floor, I nearly lost my nerve to step off. Somehow, I managed to take that step and another, and another. It was stupid that I was so nervous about needing to will my legs to walk down a simple hallway. Except, this wasn't a normal hallway. Nothing in this building was normal, not for me at least.

The director's door was closed as I came upon it. I knocked tentatively, unsure if I was really ready for this or not. However, I had barely touched the door when it was swung open and I found Peter standing in front of me, huge smile on his face.

"Agent Swan," he said, smirking.

"Director Burkhart." Peter threw his head back and laughed. I didn't see what was so funny.

"It's still Peter, Agent Swan," he said, still laughing.

"Then why are you not calling me Bella?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I just wanted to see how you would react," he said, turning and heading over to his desk. I however just stood there. He sat down and looked up at me. "Aren't you coming in?"

"Depends," I said.

"On?" he asked.

"Are you going to continue being a jackass?" I asked.

Peter smiled. "Maybe."

"Great," I sighed, stepping into the office and shutting the door behind me.

I sat down in the same seat I had sat in just a year ago when I resigned from my position here. How odd it was to be back here. Peter leaned back in his seat and said nothing. I crossed my legs and folded my arms in front of me, waiting for him to reveal the reason on why he wanted to see me. The longer we sat there, the bigger his smile got. Personally, I didn't see what we had to smile about. We had an agent in the hospital, along with his wife.

"Are you going to start or was this just another way you choose to piss me off?" I asked.

"I'm just relishing in the fact that you finally came back," he smiled. Peter leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. "I mean, when you left here a year ago, I thought for sure that you would get to the academy and realize what a fucking mistake that was and come running back to us."

"But I didn't," I smirked. "It wasn't a mistake. It might have been the smartest move I had ever made."

"Perhaps," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "However, you are back here and I am not letting you quit again, so you might as well not even think about it."

"You can't force me to stay," I said, shortly.

"Of course, I can't," he laughed, turning serious. "But I don't think you will be able to leave again."

"Guess we'll see, won't we?" I asked.

"Guess we will," he smiled. Peter pulled my gun and badge out of his desk, sliding them over to me. "Welcome back, Agent Swan."

I slid to the edge of my chair as I reached out and picked them up off the desk. "Thanks," I murmured.

I left the director sitting at his desk, and headed back down to the elevator, still just holding my gun and badge. I couldn't get myself to look down at them, that would make them too real. It was silly but true. The elevator doors opened and I stepped off, letting the doors close behind me. The door to Carlisle's office was wide open and I could hear everyone talking on the other side of the cubicles.

Taking a much needed deep breath, I made my way over to them. The moment I stepped within their eyesight all of them stopped talking. Carlisle was sitting on the edge of my old desk, nervously tapping his foot on the floor. Emmett, Jasper, Mike, and Tyler all looked just as tired as I felt.

"Wow, got quiet in here," I muttered, feeling very uncomfortable. I shifted from one foot to the other as I looked over at Carlisle. "Is that still…Is that my desk?"

"Yep." He stood up and motioned to it. "Always will be."

"Thanks," I murmured, crossing the room and putting my gun in the top drawer. Sitting on top of the desk was a file. I wasn't ready to open it yet. Turning, I looked around at everyone. "So anything new yet?"

"No, still waiting for Emily's-"

"I'm here," sang Emily, coming up the stairs. She still didn't take the elevator. She stopped when she saw me sitting at my desk. Her eyes flittered over to Edward, then Carlisle, like she wasn't sure what she say.

"What did you find, Emily?" asked Carlisle. Emily looked back over at me. "It's fine. Bella has agreed to come back and help us with this case."

"Really?" she asked. Carlisle nodded his head. "That's great."

"Great?" I asked, harshly. "It's great that Garrett and Kate were nearly killed. That they could still die and it's great that I am back?"

"I didn't mean…" She looked down at the ground. "I just meant that it's good to have you back."

"So I've heard," I muttered

"Bell," warned Carlisle. I shifted my eyes to the ground but didn't say anything else. I was being a bitch, I knew that, but the lets make a big deal about Bella coming back to the FBI was already getting on my last fucking nerve. "Now, what did you find, Emily?"

"Oh, um, not much," she said, quietly. "No prints, which we had expected, or DNA of any kind."

"Did you find anything?" asked Emmett.

"We found two footprints in the mud in the back of the house. They are a size twelve in men's work boot but from what I can tell, they are pretty generic. The odd thing was that the house had been completely wiped clean. There wasn't a print anywhere." Emily passed her reports over to Emmett, who started reading trough them.

"Not even Kate and Garrett's?" asked Emmett, looking up her.

Emily shook her head. "With the exception of the house phone, the place was clean." She hesitated as the looked around. "Look, my lab is open twenty-four, seven for this case."

"Thanks, Emily," said Carlisle. She shifted her eyes back over to me before she turned and headed back down the stairs. "Not much to go on."

"Nope," agreed Edward. "We've got all of Garrett's personal papers and all the case files he and I were going through. Maybe something in them set him off and he was following a trail?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't he say anything to you?" I asked, turning and looking at Edward. "He would have confided in you if it was a case, wouldn't he?"

"I would have thought so," murmured Edward.

"He would have," I said, quietly.

"Let's start diving into Garrett and Kate's lives," said Carlisle. "We need to find out everything about them that we didn't know already."

"It would help if we can get his last psych report," I said, quietly. Just as I knew they would, everyone looked over at me. "Maybe there is something in there that would help."

"Can't hurt, I guess," sighed Carlisle, heading over to his office.

I turned back to the file that was sitting on my desk, closed. Flipping it open, I started reading. _Here I go Again_, I thought bitterly.

**Thank you for all the reviews. **


	5. Chapter 5

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. That was all I heard as I sat on a chair in between Kate and Garrett, waiting for them to wake up, hoping that at least one of them might wake up and explain what the hell had happened three nights ago but so far, neither of them were giving us anything but the loud beeping coming from their monitors.

In three days, we hadn't learned anything new about Garrett or Kate, except that they owed a small fortune to a Dr. Kevin Williams. Apparently, Kate and Garrett had decided to start working on making a family and things weren't going too good. Kate and Garrett had been going through testing to see why she wasn't getting pregnant. Dr. Williams had been resistant to give us any information, but I convinced him. Nothing quite like seeing someone's guts hanging out of their body to convince you to talk.

But that didn't really help us out too much. Dr. Williams had an airtight alibi for the night that Kate and Garrett were attacked. Their phone records showed that Garrett got a call from Kate just before his call to me. We had no clue as to what Garrett was doing out that night, why Kate had called him just before she was attacked, if it even was Kate. Nothing about this case made any sense and the only two people who could help us at all, were in fucking comas.

"You look like you are deep in thought."

I looked back and saw Esme standing in the doorway to Kate and Garrett's room. Her eyes flittered over to them, darkening for a moment before she looked back at me. Based on the dark circles under her eyes, I would wager that she wasn't sleeping anymore than I was. I hated that Esme was going through all of this, too.

"What are you doing here so early?" I asked, looking at the clock. It was just after six in the morning. Esme came in, letting the door shut behind her.

"I could ask you the same," was all she said, sliding a chair over and sitting next to me.

"I couldn't sleep," I said, promptly.

"Me either," murmured Esme, reaching up and taking Kate's hand in hers. "I keep thinking about how it could have been me and Carlisle or you and Edward."

"Esme," I whispered, placing my hand on this shoulder. She turned, falling into my arms and started weeping.

"I've tried to tell myself that it's just what comes with the job." Esme was barely able to get her words out through her crying. She had her head in my lap, holding onto my legs as tightly as she could. "I've nearly lost you too many times, Bell. Now, Kate and Garrett. What if we are next? What if you and Edward are next?"

"We don't have anything that says this person was after them because we are cops," I said, quietly. Esme sprang up so fast that she scared me.

"DOES THAT MATTER!" she yelled, pacing back in forth in front of us. "YOU'VE COME HOW CLOSE TO BEING KILLED, BELLA?"

"Esme, stop yelling," I hissed, forcefully. Esme stopped and looked down at me. "I know you are scared, and pissed, and a dozen other emotions that you can't even begin to express, but so am I. So is Edward, Car, Emmett, Jasper, and everyone else on our team. And in the FBI, for that matter. None of us can make sense of what happened with Kate and Garrett. But we will find out and when we do, I will make sure this motherfucker pays for this. Do you hear me?"

"And if you get lost on the way?" she asked, wrapping her arms around her body. I sighed as I stood up, pulling her into my arms. Esme wrapped her arms around me, holding me as tight as she could. "Bell, I love you. I don't want to lose you."

"I love you, too, Es," I whispered. "I wish I could promise you that everything was going to be ok, but we both know how quickly things can go to hell. All I can tell you is that, I am working very hard to keep everything together."

"I know," she murmured, turning and pressing her lips down onto my cheek, letting it linger for a moment. "Just be careful, please."

"I promise."

With that, Esme pulled out of my arms and left, letting the door shut behind her. I settled back in my chair, propping my feet up on the other chair and went back to my reading. Edward and I agreed to go through all the old case files that he and Garrett had been researching, hoping that one of them would lead to something, anything, that would help us find the person that went after Garrett and Kate.

So far, though, we'd found nothing. The problem was that Garrett hadn't shared his information with Edward, which was odd seeing at they were partners. It led me to think that whatever Garrett was investigating, was something that he either didn't want to involve Edward in because he felt it wasn't safe, or he never trusted Edward enough to share his information with him. For the sake of this case, I was hoping for the former.

"Hello."

I looked over as the door once again opened. There standing with a pleasant smile on his face was a man not much older than I was, maybe in his mid-thirties. He was watching me with curious eyes, a friendly smile, and something else that I just couldn't put my finger on; amusement, perhaps? He was tall, clearly closer to seven feet than six feet. He had short, blond hair and icy blue eyes. He was dressed very nice, wearing a dark black Italian suit with matching leather loafers. Clearly, this man dressed to impress.

"Who are you?" I asked, standing up. "This room is restricted."

"I know," he said, closing the door behind him. I automatically reached for my gun. Something was off. "Now, calm down, I'm not here to hurt you or them," he said, putting his hands up.

"You'll forgive me if I don't believe you, Mister …whoever you are." I was trying to stay calm but everything about this guy screamed at I wasn't safe nor were Garrett and Kate.

"You can just call me anything you want," he said, winking at me. He moved over and bent over Garrett. I pulled my gun, pointing it right at him.

"Get the fuck away from him," I hissed. The man looked over at me, smirking.

"I said I am not going to hurt him and I am not," he said, again.

"And I said to get the fuck away from him," I repeated, cocking my gun. The man chuckled as he shook his head.

"You are a feisty agent, aren't you?" he mused, moving away from Garrett's bed. "What are you going to do now? Handcuff me to the bed? Have you wicked little way with me? I would be down for that."

"You are going to tell me what the fuck you are doing here?" I asked. A devilish smirk rose on his face.

"Am I now?" he asked. "I don't think I am. I think that I am going to turn and walk out of this room, leaving you standing here all alone, Agent."

"Don't fucking move," I nearly screamed as he took a step back. He reached out and grabbed the door handle.

"Catch me if you can, Sexy," he taunted.

Before I realized what was going on, he was out of the room. I took off after him, screaming at the police officers in front of Garrett and Kate's room to wake the fuck up and keep them safe. The man rushed down the hallway, and down the stairwell. I took off after him. He was fast, very fast. As he ran down the stairwell, I could hear him laughing.

"Come on, Agent, you can do better than that," he called out.

I holstered my gun as I ran down the stairs, willing my legs to push a little harder, willing my body to move faster. The man burst through the doors leading out to the lobby and I ran after him. He ran though a group of nurses, pushing to the ground, causing them to scream. I chased after him. He ran outside and out to the parking lot. I chased him through the three levels until he reached the top. The rain was pouring down on us, soaking us both. I pulled my gun once again.

"STOP OR I WILL SHOT YOU!" I screamed. The man stopped just before he reached the edge of the parking level. He turned and looked at me, still smiling. He took a step backwards. "I MEAN IT! I WILL FUCKING SHOOT YOU!"

"I don't think you think you will, Beautiful," he said, smiling. "I'll be seeing you again, Agent. Count on it."

"DON"T FUCKING MOVE!" I screamed as he turned and jumped off the ledge. I ran over and saw him running down the street. I sunk down to my knees. I had let him get away.

XXXXX

"Tell me again what happened," said Carlisle. I sighed.

"I've told you five times already, Car," I muttered, pulling the blanket up around my shoulders.

He and I were sitting in one of the conference rooms in the hospital going over what had just happened with the man. I knew he was disappointed in me. Fuck, I was pissed with myself for just letting him get away. I pushed the blanket off my shoulders as I stood up, pacing around the room. Mike and Tyler were trying to get something, anything out of the nurses we had plowed through during our chase. Edward, Emmet, and Jasper were upstairs chewing new assholes in the two officers who had fallen asleep during their shift but it wasn't their fault that man got away. No, the blamed rested entirely on me.

"Tell me again," said Carlisle.

"I don't even really know," I sighed, stopping in front of a window and looking outside. "He was just so…cocky about it all and I knew there was something off but until he moved over to Garrett…"

Awkward silence filled the room.

"Bella."

"I couldn't stop him, Car," I said, turning and facing him. "I had him in my sights and I couldn't stop him from getting away."

"You shouldn't have been here," he commented. I flinched, knowing he was right. "It was six in the fucking morning, Bell. You shouldn't have been here!"

"He would have killed them both if I hadn't been here." It was a feeble reason.

"Probably."

I slid down to the floor, folding my arms around my legs. "I could have stopped him but I let him go."

"You got scared." Carlisle moved from his seat at the table and came over and sat down next to me. "It's ok to be scared, Bell. It doesn't make you weak."

"Doesn't it?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"No, it makes you human," he murmured, slipping his arm around my waist, pulling me toward him. "But now you have to let it go and do your job."

"You make it sound so easy," I whispered.

"It's not, I know that, but you can't dwell on the past anymore." I looked up at him. "It's been a year and you are still holding on to those days that he had you."

"I'm not," I said, feebly.

"You are." Carlisle leaned his forehead down onto mine. "I want the bitch back. The Bella who would never let anyone get away with the sexist bullshit they said."

"She's gone, Car," I muttered.

"She's not," he insisted. "She's just hiding." I shook my head but didn't say anything. "Now, tell me again what happened."

Carlisle and I sat on the floor as I told him everything that had happened one more time. He pressed for every little detail that I could come up with but the harder I tried to come up with something, anything, the more messed up my thoughts became. Was there something I had missed? Was I too blinded by my own fear that I hadn't seen everything I needed to see?

"What the fuck are you doing on the floor?" asked Mike as he and Tyler came in. I tensed up, not really wanting to go through the whole meltdown discussion again.

"None of your fucking business," snapped Carlisle, standing up. He pulled me to my feet, keeping my hand in his as if to tell me that it's ok now. Nothing was ok now. "What did you find out?"

"Not much," said Tyler, leaning against the wall behind him. "They all said that they saw the man Bella was chasing come out of the stairwell, but that they didn't get a good look at him as he bowled them over. Bella came out right after him and she chased him out of the hospital."

"We have them all sitting with a sketch artist but we'll see. You know what they say, ask five people what one person looks like and you get five different descriptions," added Mike. Carlisle nodded his head and looked over at me.

"I'll sit with one," I murmured, knowing he was going to ask. I had gotten the best look at him.

"Did we get a print off the door to Garrett and Kate's room?" asked Carlisle, squeezing my hand.

"More than a dozen. We're running them now," said Tyler.

The door to the room opened and Edward, Emmett, and Jasper came in, all three looking pissed off. Shifting my eyes to the floor, I let go of Carlisle's hand and sat back down at the table. Edward came over and sat next to me, taking my hand in his. I couldn't look at him, knowing that he had to be disappointed that I didn't stop him. I had enough guilt without adding his to mix.

"Are you ok?" he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. I looked over at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't stop him." Edward sighed and brought his hand up to my face. I leaned into his palm.

"Are you ok?" he asked again.

"Yes. No. I don't know." Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. "He was right there and I had him but I just couldn't…"

"We'll get him," said Edward. I opened my eyes. "I promise you, we will find him and we will get him."

"This is all nice and all, but the fact remains that this fucker was close enough to kill both Kate and Garrett, not to mention Bella," said Mike, snidely. I shifted my eyes over to him. He was watching me. "What were you doing here at six the morning, Bella?"

"What different does that make?" asked Edward, dropping my hand as he stood up. "She was here, and if she hadn't been, both Garrett and Kate would have been killed."

"True but she could have been killed, too," argued Mike, leaning forward and placing his hands on the table. "I, for one, do not want to lose anymore people off this team so maybe it's time we stop caterings to her and tell her to suck it up or leave. Clearly, she isn't nearly as big of bad ass bitch as she claimed to be!"

"You son of a bitch," snapped Edward, lunging for him. Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my feet and I had thrown Edward back into his. He seemed just as shocked as I did, as everyone was. I turned to Mike.

"I don't like you," I snarled.

"I don't like you, either," he said, indifferently, "but I respect the fuck out of you for being a good cop. Or you were, at least. It's time to make a choice, Swan. Man up or get out of the game."

Before I could respond, Carlisle's pager went off. He pulled out his cell phone and called whoever paged him back. "This is Cullen," he said. Snapping his eyes up to mine, he nodded his head. "We'll be right up."

Carlisle hung up his phone. "Kate's awake."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Keep them coming ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as the words were out of Carlisle's mouth, the tension in the room rose. After three long, agonizing days, Kate was finally awake. Perhaps now, we would get a few answers, something that would tell us what happened to her and Garrett. Taking a deep, cleaning breath, I shifted my eyes back over to Mike.

"We'll finish this later," I muttered. "Right now, we have more important issues to deal with."

Mike smiled smugly as he nodded his head and it took everything bit of my very limited self-control not to rip his head off and shove it up his ass. Gritting my teeth together, I turned and walked out of the room with everyone following me. As much as I hated Mike, I couldn't help but feel like he was right. I had been pussying out and it was time to stop. I just didn't know to push all the darkness out of my head.

Emmett, Jasper, Mike, Tyler, Carlisle, Edward, and I headed up to the ICU and found Kate and Garrett's doctor standing outside of their door, next to the guards who had fallen asleep on the job. Glaring the ever loving fuck out of them, I turned my attention to Dr. Thornton looked tired, wore around the edges. He had been here nearly non-stop over the last three days, determined to make sure that both Kate and Garrett lived through the brutal attack they had suffered.

"She's awake?" I asked.

"Yes, but she's very weak," he said, quickly. "I don't know how much you are going to be able to get our of her right now."

Carlisle sighed. "We have to at least try."

Dr. Thornton nodded his head, stepping out of the way. "Just remember that she's been through a lot."

"Don't worry," I replied. "We will."

I reached out and slid the door open, pulling the dark blue curtain out of the way. Garrett was still out, the machines hooked up to him beeping steadily. Kate, however, laid in her bed, taking shallow breaths and staring at the ceiling. She looked over at us, face twisted in agony and tears pouring down her face. Lifting her hand, she reached for me but was too weak to keep it up. I took her hand in mine as I sat next to her bed.

"Hey, Honey," I murmured. "It's ok."

"Not...ok," she whispered, coarsely. Shifting her eyes over to her husband, she whimpered. "He's not ok."

"But he will be," I said, trying to reassure her. Kate looked back over at me. "Katie, can you tell me what happened?"

She let her gaze fall behind me. "Get them out," she muttered.

"Who?" I asked, looking back at the rest of our team.

"Mike and Tyler," she choked out, wincing.

"Honey, we all need to know so we can find out who did this," I explained.

Kate began shaking her head, frantically causing her monitors to go crazy. "No...no...no," she cried.

"Katie, calm down," I ordered, standing up and placing my hands on the side of her face. She sobbed against me, letting her tears fall freely.

"Please," she begged. "Not them, anyone but them."

Looking over my shoulder at Mike and Tyler, I said, "Get out." They started to protest but saw how upset Kate was and left us alone. Tuning back to her, I sat on the side of her bed. "They're gone now. Calm down."

Kate took a deep breath, wincing again. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome." I took her hand back into mine. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I had barely walked into the house when someone grabbed me from behind. I tried to scream but..." Kate trailed off, looking away. "He stopped me."

"Do you know who he is?" I asked. Kate shook her head. "What happened next?"

Kate turned her face away as she spoke. "He, whoever he was, dragged me through the house and up to mine and Garrett's room. There were two more men waiting for us." She paused. "I thought they were going to rape me."

"Did they?" I worried. Kate snapped her eyes back to me.

"NO!" She nearly screamed. "NO!"

"Ok, calm down, Honey."

Kate took a deep breath, chin trembling. "They didn't do that."

"I believe you," I murmured.

"The big one, real ugly with dark hair and beady eyes, held me on the chair while the blond one, the one with the cold eyes." Pausing, a dark look came over her face. It was gone a moment later. "While he tied to me to the chair."

"Where was the third guy?" I asked.

"He just watched," she grimaced. "Leering at me."

Kate stared out the window, letting her words hang in the air. These crazy sons of bitches had hurt her, broken her, and I was going to make sure they paid.

"What happened after they tied you to the chair?"

Kate's lips trembled as she said, "At first they just stood back and stared at me. I tried to scream but they had stuck a rag in my mouth. I tried to break the binds on my arms and feet but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough, I guess." Kate looked over at me. "The blond guy, I think he was the boss."

"Why do you think that?"

"He ordered the other two to pull my head back while he...while he hit me with his belt," she explained. "Over and over he hit me, never once saying anything to me. No matter how hard I cried, or how much I screamed against the gag in my mouth, he hit me," she murmured, looking away. "They didn't rape me."

"But?" I asked, tensely.

"They did...other things," she whispered.

Behind me, everyone inhaled deeply. Fighting my tears, I asked her the most difficult thing I could. "What things?"

"Things," she hissed, glaring at me. "Things, Bella! Horrible, nasty, disgusting things!"

"Ok, Kate," I murmured, trying to get her to calm down. "Did they touch you?"

She nodded, shifting her eyes behind me. "Do you want them to leave?"

"I can't say it," she whispered. "Don't make me say it."

"Katie, we need to know every thing they did so we can find them," I urged.

She shook her head, tears falling. "Please."

Taking a deep breath, I tightened my grip on her hand. "They touched me, too," I barely managed to say. "The men who took me last year, they touched me, too."

"They did?" she cried.

"Yes," I wept. Removing one of my hands, I brought it up to my chest. "Here." Moving my hand down toward my crotch. "And here."

"They got excited." I barely heard the words that Kate spoke. "When they hit me, they got excited and they... they took turns jerking off on me."

"Son of a bitch," muttered Emmett.

Kate tensed up, wides going wide and I turned and glared at him. He didn't say anything as he turned and walked out of the room, letting the door slam shut behind him. Kate started sobbing harder. I wanted to lift her into my arms but I couldn't. She was in pain, both physical and emotional, and nothing I did right now would help her. Bringing my hand back up to her face, I wiped her tears off as they fell, letting her get it out of her system. After a few minutes, she managed to calm down enough to keep talking. I made a mental note to kick Emmett's ass...again.

"Sorry," she sniffled.

"Don't ever say you are sorry, Honey," I murmured. "Where was Garrett?"

"I don't know," she answered, honestly, looking over my shoulder. "I was hoping you could tell me, Edward."

"Me?" asked Edward, as we all looked at him. "Why would I know?"

"You two were working a case together," she said, frowning. "Weren't you?"

"No," he replied. "Garrett hadn't been at the office all day and before that, we were working some cold cases."

"No," she growled. "He left me a message saying that you and he were following a lead and that he would call me."

"Kate, I..." Edward trailed off, shaking his head. "I don't know about any lead."

"No," she cried. "He wouldn't lie to me. That man called him, pulling him away from you!"

"Which one?" I asked, turning my body back toward Kate.

"What?" she asked.

"Which man called Garrett?" I asked. "The boss guy?"

"Yes," she said, looking over at her husband. "He...taunted him with me, talking about how beautiful I was. He hit me again before hung up, tossing my cell phone to one of the other guys. He knelt down next to me, bringing his hand up to touch my face but I moved. He laughed, gripping my jaw in his cold hand and said that he was going to enjoy watching me die."

Bile rose in my throat and it took so much for me not to let it go. Kate turned away from us, again. "I prayed that when Garrett came that he would have all of you with him, that you would save me, but you didn't. He came alone. All alone when we needed you the most." Glaring at me, she said, "He needed you, Bella, but you were too busy being a cowardly bitch to do your job!"

"Kate," I muttered.

"Don't Bella," she snapped, harshly ripping her hand out of mine. "He needed you. I needed you and you left us. For a fucking year you left us. This is all your fault. ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Kate began gasping for air and her monitor started alarming. The door to her room opened as Dr. Thornton and a nurse, came running in. I scooted back out of the way as they tried to get her to calm down. Edward slipped his arm around my waist, and pulled me out of the room after everyone else. I shoved his arm off of me, feeling so much hurt and anger inside of me. The problem was, I wasn't hurt or angry over what she said, but at myself. Kate was right, it was my fault. If I hadn't been so weak, I would have been there to keep this from happening to both Kate and Garrett. The door to her room opened a few minutes later and Dr. Thornton came back out.

"I got her stabilized but she's done for today," he said, before any of us could ask. "She's been through enough without having to relive it all again."

"Like it's that fucking easy," I hissed.

Turning, I walked away, ignoring the elevator and taking the stairs. Hitting the lobby, I headed outside, letting the cool mist wash over me. I heard everyone follow me out and I turned and looked at them. Defeat and hopelessness poured off of each of them. Mentally pulling on my big girl panties, I muscled up to Emmett, jabbing him in the chest.

"If you ever lose it like that with a victim, I will kick your fucking ass, McCarty," I sneered, pushing him back a few steps. "She needs you to be strong and you chickened out on her."

"It's Katie," he muttered.

"I don't care if it was Rosie, you don't pussy out like that they are telling you what happened!" I yelled. Emmett flinched. Looking around, I could feel the angry, bitter tears building up in my eyes, threatening to spill over but I stopped them. It was time for me to man up and stop being such a fucking baby. If they wanted the bitch, back, I would make sure they got her. "We're going to figure out who did this and we are going to nail their balls to the walls. End of fucking story."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Short chapter, but it was just so intense, I couldn't keep going. **


	7. Chapter 7

Left kick, right jab, right kick, left roundhouse. Right hook, left hook, right hook, left hook. Over and over, I beat the punching bag in front of me. Panting, nearing gasping for air. Right kick, left jab. Left kick, right jab.

_This is all your fault, Bella. ALL YOUR FAULT!_

Gritting my teeth together, I slammed my fist into the punching bag over and over. A hand landed on my shoulder, causing me to scream as I grabbed it, throwing my elbow into their gut and swiping my leg back, throwing both of us to the ground in the process.

"Bella, it's me," yelled Carlisle.

Scrambling off of him, I turned, staying low to the ground. "Don't fucking touch me," I snarled.

"Sorry," he said, scooting away. "What the fuck is with you?"

"Nothing," I muttered, standing up.

"Bell-"

Before he could finish, I turned into the bag and continued my work out, trying to get as much as I could before I headed up to the office. Behind me, I heard him sigh and walk away. After another half hour, I tore the tape off my hands and headed into the locker room. My knuckles were bruised and swollen from hitting the bag so much. I had bruises forming on my calves, as well. I took a quick shower, washing away the sweat and grime from my work out.

_This is all your fault, Bella. ALL YOUR FAULT!_

"No," I whimpered, placing my hand on the wall of the shower, and fighting back the tears that were building up.

_Your fault, Bella. All YOUR FAULT!_

Dropping to my knees, I cried out, "No." I could no longer hold the tears back. The tears that I had been holding back for almost a week now, except when I showered. I couldn't seem to stop them from falling with I while in shower. I had no idea why. After a few minutes, I managed to pull myself together and finished my shower. Drying off, I got dressed, pulling on a pair of tightly fitted black pants, a black dress shirt and my boots. I left my hair down and locked my locker before heading up to the office.

Just like everyday for the last week, the moment I stepped off the elevator, everyone stopped talking and stared at me. Just like every time they did that shit, I clenched my fists together and tried like hell to ignore them. I locked my gun into my desk and headed down to the break room, pouring myself a hot cup of coffee.

"You left early this morning," said Edward. I didn't need to look behind me to know he was standing in the doorway.

I nodded. "I needed to work out," I murmured.

"You could have woken me up." His tone was short, and bitter. I turned and looked at him. "I would have come with you."

I tried to smile but it didn't come off right. "You were really tired. Pretty sure I wore you out last night."

Edward ran his hand over his face and into his hair. "Why won't you let me help you?"

"I'm fine," I insisted. "Perfect, in fact."

"Don't fucking lie to me, Bella," he hissed. "I've heard you in the shower."

I flinched. "I'm trying," I muttered.

"I know," he sighed. "I'm sorry I said that. I just...I miss you."

"I'm right here," I whispered, wearyingly.

"You're not. You're a million miles away."

"I'm not," I disagreed, blinking rapidly.

Edward crossed the room, slipping my cup of coffee onto the counter and wrapping his arms around me, laying his forehead down onto mine. "Baby, she didn't mean it."

"She did," I whispered.

There was no point in denying that Kate blamed me for what happened to her and Garrett. Fuck, she was right. I should have never left the FBI, not when they needed me here. I let my fear get in the way of me doing my job and it nearly cost her and Garrett their lives. She didn't need to blame me, I blamed myself.

"It's not your fault," he whispered, bringing his hand up and cupping my cheek.

"Who are you trying to convince, Edward?" I asked. "Me or you."

"You," he insisted. "The only people to blame for all of this, are the fuckers who hurt them."

"Tell that to Kate," I muttered.

I reached over and grabbed my coffee before pulling myself out of Edward's embrace, leaving him standing there. Gathering the stack of files on my desk, I did what I've done everyday for the last week. I headed into one of the interrogation rooms. Settling down at the table, I began to immerse myself into Garrett and Kate's personal files.

It had been a week since I found myself face to face with the man who attacked them. A week since I had lost my nerve and hadn't able to take him out. A week since Kate had woken up from her coma and told us what happened that night. Garrett hadn't come to yet, and I couldn't bring myself to go back into that room, even though I had spent plenty of time outside of it. In fact, I spent nearly every free minute I could outside of that room, doing everything I could to make sure that nobody came near them again. I would be damned if I let them get hurt again. Except, that I've been over and over these files and nothing were standing out to me. Garrett and Kate lived comfortably but they were conservative. They had a small amount of debt, but nothing that stuck out. Background information didn't tell us anything that we didn't already know.

Katelyn Ann Denali was born and raised here in Seattle. She was an honor student, who never had as much as one tardy on her permanent record. She graduated third in her class and received a full scholarship to the University of Washington, where she studied business. She graduated with honors and took over her families bar a year after graduation. Her parents, Simon and Cheryl Denali passed away in a car accident seven years ago. The police declared that the accident was just that, an accident. Of course, we were still waiting for the official report to be sent to us. The Seattle PD didn't seem to want to cooperate with us.

Garrett David Mitchell was born and raised in Providence, New York. His upbringing differed from Kate's, though. His parents, Jeff and Terri, never married and they were verbally abusive to each other, and to Garrett. He quit school at the age of seventeen, getting his GED and enlisting in the army. However, he was honorably discharged after serving one term. From there, he moved to Seattle and entered the police academy, where he excelled and graduated from top of his class under the training of my old boss, Cooper Anderson. After working for two years as a beat cop, he made detective and started working in major case but only stayed with them for six months before Carlisle recruited him to the team. Nothing in his personal files indicated that Garrett was dirty.

Garrett met Kate five years ago when he and the rest of the team went into Denali's for beer. He was smitten with her from the get go but she resisted him. Garrett showed up at the bar every night for three months, trying to get her to go out with him but she always said no. Then one night, Kate was closing early and one of her customers got a little irate with her. He smashed his bottle of beer on the bar and threatened to cut her if she didn't keep serving him. Garrett came up behind him, putting him in a choke hold until he passed out. The drunk went to jail and Kate ended up going home with Garrett. They were married six months later and had been blissfully happy ever since. Until now, that is.

Frustratedly, I slammed the last of the files closed and stood up. Gathering them back up, I walked back out and dropped them on my desk.

"Anything?" asked Edward.

"Nope," I muttered, falling into my seat. "There is nothing here that indicates that this attack was personal, but it had to be."

"Why?" asked Emmett. I spun in my seat, looking back at him.

"Because if this was related to a case, I would think that Garrett would have talked to all of you," I explained. "Right?"

"Maybe," said Emmett, shrugging his shoulders. "Or maybe he didn't realize what he had stumbled upon."

"Ok, but why did he go off on his own in the first place?" asked Jasper, leaning forward. "Kate says that he was off on some lead, but what was it? And why wouldn't he have told us that he even had a lead?"

Mike snorted, causing all of us to look over at him. "Isn't that we are supposed to be finding out?" He raised his eyebrow. "Maybe he was dirty."

"He wasn't," I disagreed. Mike shifted his eyes over to me.

"How can you know that?" he asked. "You were gone for a year."

I tensed.

"Shut the fuck up, Newton," muttered Edward, gripping his pen in his hand.

"It's the truth," he said, turning back to his desk.

Edward went to argue with him but I shook my head, standing back up. Grabbing my gun and keys, I motioned for Edward to follow me. Carlisle stood in the doorway of his office, watching everything but not saying a word. I stared him down as the doors to the elevators closed. Edward sighed but didn't say anything as we rode down to the lobby. In fact he didn't say anything as we headed out to my car. Edward climbed into the passenger seat as I climbed in behind the wheel.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" asked Edward.

"Garrett and Kate's," I muttered.

"Bella-"

"Don't, please, just...don't," I said, looking over at him.

"Ok," he sighed, shaking his head and looking out the window.

Twenty minutes later, I pulled up in front of Garrett and Kate's house. Something had been nagging in the back of my head for the last week. When our un-sub ransacked their house, they focused all their attention on Garrett and Kate's office, mostly rifling through all their personal papers and taking Garrett's computer but leaving Kate's laptop. Emily hadn't had found anything on Kate's laptop but a file full of recipes, an ass load of fan fiction stories based on a vampire book, and even more pictures of Lee Pace. An unhealthy amount of Lee Pace pictures.

"What are you looking for?" asked Edward, following me into the house.

"I don't know," I sighed, turning to him. "They came here for a reason but what was it? Why would they only ransack the office but leave the rest of the house intact? It doesn't make any sense."

"Nothing about this case makes sense," he muttered, walking past me.

I couldn't disagree with him. Edward headed into the living room while I headed straight up the stair and into the office. Of course, Emily and her team thoroughly searched through the entire room, and house, but I needed to check for myself. I slipped on a pair of gloves before I went over and sat down at Garrett's desk, leaning back in the chair and just looked around.

There were two pictures on the wall. One of the San Francisco bridge and one of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Both photos were black and white, and had the name L. St. John across the bottom. Along another wall were two bookshelves. Standing up, I moved over and looked over the covers. On the third row from the tow, sat six books by a L. St. John. I pulled off one of them, flipping to the back cover. There was no photo of the author but there was a description of his work.

"L. St. John is not only a noted writer, but an avid photographer," I read.

Closing the book, I went over and looked at the pictures. Neither of them were exceptional, even if they were nice. I've seen a hundred photographs of the San Francisco Bridge and this one wasn't particularly special, but it was by the same guy that wrote the books, that Garrett seemed to be a huge fan of. I tossed the book back onto the shelf and pulled the picture of the bridge down off the wall. Sliding to the floor, I leaned it against the wall and studied it.

"Why are you on the floor?" asked Edward.

"Ever heard of L. St. John?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"No," said Edward, squatting down next to me. "Nice pictures."

"They're ok," I murmured, leaning forward. "Garrett had a bunch of books by the same guy."

"Hmm," he hummed, standing up. "Anything else in here?"

"I don't know."

Turning away from the pictures, I stood up and started checking around the rest of the office but we came up with nothing. Heading down the hallway, we went through Garrett and Kate's bedroom. There were three more pictures by L. St. John up in here but they weren't anything special. One of the Grand Canyon, and two of New York sky line but none of them stood out as being exceptional pictures.

Once we were done in their bedroom, we headed downstairs and thoroughly searched the dining room, living room, kitchen, laundry room. Every square inch of their house but came up empty handed. Frustrated, I followed Edward outside to the front porch. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as an eerie chill washed over me. I looked around but didn't notice anything out of place but I couldn't get past the feeling that we were being watched. I didn't like it.

"Let's go," I muttered, breathlessly.

"You ok?"

I nodded my head, trying to convince myself as much as him. "Yeah."

Edward and I climbed back into my car and headed back to the office. The feeling never left and I found myself feeling antsy. I parked my car in my parking space and climbed out. I turned to the street as a black Cadillac Escalade speed past us. Turning back to Edward, I frowned.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing," I lied, not sure if I was actually lying or not.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, trying to smile.

Edward let it drop as we headed inside and up to our office. The doors to the elevator chimed and slid open. The two of us stepped off and headed over to our desks, but they were already occupied. I froze as my mouth feel open.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked.

"We came to help," smiled Angela.

**Thank you for all the reviews over the first six chapters and for everyone who had favored or placed this story on their alerts. I really appreciate it. Leave me a few words and let me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

Angela Weber sat at my desk, feet propped up, with a smirk covering her lips. Ben mirrored her position, minus the smirk. He was afraid of me, Angela wasn't. We all turned when Carlisle walked out of his office, huge grin on his face. Behind him, Mike and Tyler stalked over to the elevator, stepping on and disappearing, but not before Mike looked right at me, flipping the middle finger, mouthing that I'm a bitch. Tell me something I didn't know.

"Well, now that they've been taken care of, what did you find when you went back to Garrett and Kate's?" he asked, smugly.

"How'd you know that's where we went? Maybe we went to get some coffee," I muttered.

"Please," he snorted, sitting on the edge of Jasper's desk. "I know you too well. Now, what did you find?"

Shifting my eyes away from his, I shrugged my shoulders, "Same shit as before."

Edward looked at me, before nodding his head. "Nothing new but dust."

"Okay, well, with Ben and Ang coming back, I transferred Mike and Tyler over to Aaron's team," explained Carlisle, placing his hands on his hips. "We'll figure out what the crap went on, and bring this fucker to justice."

I snorted, walking over to my desk, pushing Angela's feet off. Pulling open the bottom drawer of my desk, I grabbed a stack of files, before slamming it shut. Turning back to Carlisle, I laughed, "Keep telling yourself that, but we're not any closer now, than we were a week ago. Until Garrett wakes up, we're not going to get anything."

I carried the files down to my interrogation room, leaving everyone standing behind me, gaping like fish with their mouths wide open. Settling down in my chair, I dug into the files containing every piece of evidence we had found the night Kate and Garrett were attacked, which didn't consist of much. This case started off at a dead end.

The door opened, and Angela came in. I didn't need to look back to know it was her, I knew her too well. Fuck, I'd been the one who trained her when she came out of the academy, knowing ten times more than those guys did. Without saying a word, she pulled out the chair across from me, grabbed a file, and started reading. She wouldn't push me, not until she knew I would talk. Of all people, she understand more than anyone just how fucked up this situation was.

After a few more hours of staring at the same shit, and not getting anything new, I closed the file in front of me, sighing. Angela leaned back in her seat, folding her arms in front of her, watching me closely. It annoyed me.

"Stop," I gritted.

"What?" She tried to sound innocent, but I knew her. I'd trained her to sound like this.

"Stop profiling me," I grumbled, eying her closely.

She smiled. "I can't."

"Is that why he called you?" I pressed, raising my eyebrow. Her eye twitched, confirming what I already knew.

"Who called me?" she feigned, but I just sat there, staring at her. "Fine," she huffed. "He's worried."

"I know." And I did know, but right now, I was doing the best I could.

"That's all you have to say?" she snorted. "You've been an all around bitch, and all you can say is you know?"

"What am I supposed to say, Angie?" My words came off, shorter, rougher than I intended. Shifting my eyes away, I pulled on my bottom lip. "I'm not ready to be back."

"That's bullshit," she scoffed. "You never should have left in the first place, but you did. You're the one who's holding onto shit that should have been left behind long ago."

"Tell me, Angie, the last time you were kidnapped and tortured for days while everyone else took their sweet-ass time finding you, were you able to just let it go?"

"Is that what you think?" she asked, ignoring my question. "That they took their time, that they weren't searching for you from the moment you were taken?"

"I'm sure they were," I muttered, bringing my hand up, running my fingers over the scars on my chest. They were nearly faded, but I still saw them as the ugly, red blaring scars that haunted my dreams. "I'm terrified, Angie."

"Of what?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply. "Of losing myself again." Each word tumbled between my lips, laced with my tears. "Losing who I am, and not finding my way back again."

"Oh, honey," she sighed, reaching across the table, covering my hand with hers.

"Kate blames me," I wept. "I know she's right, I should have been here."

"She's angry, but she doesn't really blame you," disagreed Angela.

I shook my head, "She does and she's right. I let the team down, I ran when I should have just...I don't know, sucked it up and dealt with it."

"You should have, but you didn't," she said, soothing me. "This self-isolation bullshit you're doing, needs to stop."

"They don't want me out there," I muttered. "They just stare at me, waiting for me to lose it."

"Honey, you're already losing it," she scoffed. "They're working their asses off to find anything that will lead them to this jackoff you ran into at the hospital, but you've got to help."

"Jackoff?" I snorted. "Really?"

"Got a better name for him," she laughed. I smiled, shaking my head. "Didn't think so. Now, it's late. Let's get the fuck out of here, go grab some dinner, maybe a beer, and just...relax."

"Angie, I'm glad you're back," I whispered, squeezing her hand. "I've missed you."

"I missed you, too, B," she giggled, standing up. "Just between us, his mom was irritating the fuck out of me. She's one needy bitch."

Laughing, I stood up, gathering all the files, and followed her out of the room, back over to my desk, ignoring the looks coming from everyone. Locking my desk, I walked over to Carlisle's office, knocking on the open door. He looked up at me, trying his hardest not to smirk. Smug bastard. "You didn't have to call her."

"I did," he said, leaning back in his chair. "You weren't going to get your head out of your ass. Edward wasn't about to do it, since he's worried enough about you losing it. It was me or Esme. Which would you have preferred?"

Rolling my eyes, I looked away. "I am trying."

"Are you?" he countered. I turned back to him. "Seems to me that all you've done is trade one hideout, for another one."

Biting on my bottom lip, I just stood there, unsure about what to say. Carlisle stood up, walked around his desk to me. Taking my hand in his, he pulled me in, shutting the door behind us, before shoving me over to the couch. I sat down, crossing my legs at the knee. He sat next to me, keeping my hand in his, rubbing circles against my flesh.

"We're all worried about you," he spoke in soft, somber tones. "Maybe I shouldn't have asked you to come back."

"I would have anyway," I whispered, looking up at him. "But I'm scared, Car. There are all these...feelings, memories, and..." My words died out, I brought my hand back up to my chest. "If I find myself back in that place...I can't survive it again."

"You have to talk to us," he pleaded with me. "You can't keep all of this inside."

Tearing up, I shook my head. "I can't just bare my feelings, they already think I'm cracking at the seams."

"Aren't you?" he muttered. I flinched. "Sorry."

"You're not lying, right?" I asked, looking up at him. "I'm broken."

"Maybe, but maybe this is your chance to fix what's broken."

I looked away, eyes locking on the picture of him, Esme, Izzy, and Abby. They'd taken it a few months ago, right after Izzy's eighth birthday. Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the sand, him wearing khaki pants, white dress shirt, left untucked. She wore a long white dress with pale blue flowers. The girls, wearing matching blue and white sundress, sat on their laps, bright smiles and sparkling eyes. They looked happy, the perfect little family.

Slipping my hand out of his, I lifted my eyes to his. "Go home to your family, Car. You don't need to worry about me anymore."

"I do," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too, but..." I stood up, walking over to his office door. "You can't fix me. Maybe nobody can."

Leaving him sitting there, frowned donned on his beautiful face, I walked out, shutting the door behind me. Edward, Ben, and Angela were sitting at our desks. Turning in my direction, the three of them shared a look, before coming over to me. Edward slipped his arm around my waist, leaning over and kissing the side of my head, completely uncharacteristic of him.

"Let's get the fuck out of here already," laughed Angela, slipping her hand into Ben's.

The door to the elevator opened, the four of us stepped on. As the doors slid closed, I noticed Carlisle leaning against the doorway to his office, with a dark look on his face. Shifting my eyes away, I felt guilt for making him worry. He'd had enough in his life, without adding me to the mix. Edward tightened his hold around my waist, I looked up at him. He smiled, winking at me with a devilish smirk on his lips. I smiled, leaning toward him.

When we got to the parking lot, Ben reached out, slipping his hand into mine, pulling me away from Edward and Angela, over to his car. He opened the passenger door for me, even though I didn't want to, I slid in. He ran around to the drivers side, climbing in behind the wheel and pulled out, following Edward out of the parking lot.

Shaking my head, I looked out the window. "I guess it's your turn now."

"Don't know what you are talking about." Scoffing, I looked back over at him. Staring straight ahead, his lips were pressed together.

"You know, Ben," I started, turning back to the window, "nobody blamed you for leaving when you did."

"Nobody's blaming you, either," he quipped.

"Everyone's blaming me," I muttered. "I let the team down by running away." Turning back to him, I continued, "But not one person blamed you or Angie after they took me."

"They don't blame you for what happened to Garrett and Kate, Bella," he said, shifting his eyes to me. "They blame you for pushing them away, not letting them help."

"Help?" I shook my head, looking back out the window. "Where are they at three in the morning when I wake myself up screaming for those men to stop touching me?" Wiping the tears off my face, I went on. "Edward holds me down, grabbing my arms so I don't hurt myself. I scratch him, hit him, curse him." Turning back to Ben, I frowned. "Where are they when I need someone to fight for me?"

"They're right there, waiting for you to let them in," he sighed, stopping at a red light. "You think we all abandoned you when you needed us, we didn't." The light turned green, he pressed on the gas, turning left and following Edward. "Everyone else thinks you shouldn't have left the FBI, but I don't agree with them."

"You don't?" Ben shook his head, taking a right. "Why not?"

"Because you needed time, and distance," he explained. Parking behind Edward, he cut the engine, turning in his seat to face me. I watched as Edward and Angela climbed out, heading into the beach house. "He's really worried about you."

"I know," I frowned, turning back to him. "You didn't come back because of me, did you?"

He smiled, shaking his head. "For five years Garrett and I worked together, hunting down child killers, rapists, serial killers." Ben paused, looking out his own window. "When I left, he told me that no matter where I ended up, he would always be my partner, and all I had to do was call." He turned back to me. "I picked up the phone three dozen times during my first week, I never called, though."

"Why not?" I wondered.

"Because I knew that he'd be on the first flight," he smiled. "I came back, because he needs me, just as much as you, or the rest of the team, needs me. We're going to find this son of a bitch, then I'm going to make sure he knows every bit of the pain that Garrett and Kate felt. That's a promise."

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow. "I hope so, Ben."

We climbed out of the car, heading inside the house. Angela was on the phone, ordering us a couple of pizzas. I turned and headed into mine and Edward's bedroom, where I found him sitting on the side of the bed, elbows resting on his knees, hands locked in his hair, and a feeling of foreboding oozing off of him. I shut the door, causing him to look up at me, longing swimming in his eyes. I felt guilty once again.

Edward reached for me, I went to him, letting him pull me onto his lap. Ducking his head into the crevasse of my neck, pressing his lips against my pebbled skin. "Are you mad?"

"A little," I admitted, bringing my hand up, weaving my fingers in his hair. "Mostly I'm..." Closing my eyes, I took a deep, shaky breath. "Mostly I'm scared."

"Me too, baby," he whispered, warm breath tickling my neck. "You're pulling away from me. I need you so fucking much."

"I don't mean to pull away," I murmured. "I need you, too, but there are all these feelings inside of me. I thought I was finally moving past all of this shit."

"Me too." He tilted his head back. "You shut yourself away from all of us, trying to do everything on your own. Baby, you can't do that. You have to let us help."

"I am," I lied, knowing each word was crap.

Edward shook his head, "Locking yourself away in that room everyday is not letting us help."

"They stare at me." My voice cracked, I dropped my head on his shoulder, feeling vulnerable.

"Nobody's staring at you," he cooed, rubbing my back. I nodded against his shoulder. "No, they aren't. They're fucking worried."

"Edward," I murmured, weeping.

"I know, baby," he soothed. "Maybe we asked too much of you to come back and help us find the people who did this Garrett and Kate, but we did."

"Do you blame me?" Lifting my head up, I needed to know whether or not he blamed me.

"I don't blame you for anything, other than pushing me away," he claimed, bringing his hand up, caressing my cheek. "But I'm pissed as hell that you won't let me in."

Shifting my eyes away, I sniffed. "Feels like I'm back there," I whispered. "In that shack. I can feel...feel their hands...the whips," I cried, closing my eyes. Edward leaned up, pressing his forehead against mine, wiping my tears away. "Garrett needed me, and I wasn't there."

"Baby, you are not to blame for this happening to Garrett and Kate."

Leaning back, I caught his eye. "Tell that to Kate, she blames me." Before he could say anything, I climbed off of his lap, headed into the bathroom. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned back to him, frowning. "I'm sorry. I wish..." Trailing off, I sighed. "Well, I wish for a lot, but mostly, I wish I'd been stronger."

I pulled the door to the bathroom closed behind me, sliding to the floor, my body shaking as sobs rocked over me. From the other side of the door, I heard Edward settle on the floor.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Let me tell you, I started this chapter ten times, only to delete the crap and start again. Even though I'm still not 100% in love with this chapter, I'm closing in on 90%. Yes, Bella's being a whiny bitch, BUT Kate did blame her. Even though it's not her fault at all, Bella takes it as it is. **


	9. Chapter 9

Pushing, I ran faster, digging my feet into the sand more with each step I took. My lungs burned, begging for me to slow down, but I couldn't. I needed more, always needing more. Pumping my arms, I felt the sweat dripping down my face, falling onto the black tank top hugging my chest. Behind me, I could hear Edward huffing to keep up with me, pushing himself even harder, but he wasn't able to stay with me. I had to keep going, keep fighting. Never stop, never give up, never let them catch me.

"Bella" he grunted. "Baby, stop."

Ignoring his pleas, I found the strength and pushed my legs faster, harder. Leaving him behind, I ran further down the beach, not stopping until my legs gave out on me, and I tumbled into the sand, clutching at my side for air. Falling into the sand next to me, Edward placed his hand on my back, supporting my insane efforts to keep the small amount of control I'd been hanging onto.

"It's okay, baby," he reassured me, slipping his arms around me, pulling my body into his.

Words escaped me, I melted into him, letting my tears fall. I'd woken up this morning in a full panic attack, having found myself trapped back in that shack. Trapped in my own personal hell with men who thought they had the right to touch me, hurt me, use me. Edward straddled my legs, pinning my arms to my side, a look of pure horror etched on his face; all in an effort to save me from myself. I wanted to hold him, to make love with him and tell him I was okay, but I couldn't. I wasn't okay, and I couldn't keep pretending. I needed help.

So I did the one thing I could do at five-thirty in the morning; I went for a run. Edward followed me, I knew he worried. It scared him to see me spiraling downward, grasping at every shred of hope that I'd be able to figure out how to find my way to the surface through the whirlpool of pain that dragged me down. Grasping, but not finding any leverage.

Shuffling to his feet, Edward pulled me against him, walking us back toward our small beach house. Ben and Angela were sitting on the small porch, snuggling together, giggling and whispering. They'd been staying with us for the past week while they tried to find an apartment or house, but so far they hadn't had much luck. Looking up at us, they frowned, but didn't say a word when we walked past them. Only Angela grabbing my hand on the way by gave any inkling they'd heard my latest nightmare.

Leading us into our bedroom, Edward let go of me, rushing into the bathroom and starting the water in the tub. I sat on the side of the bed, breathing slow, deep breaths. Coming back to me, Edward dropped to the floor in front of me, pulling off my shoes and socks, keeping his eyes locked on mine, tears of sorrow and grief threatening to fall. Reaching up, I wiped them off, not caring that my own tears were cascading down my cheeks.

"Why do you love me?" I wondered.

"How can I not love you?" he countered, tugging on the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms, letting him pull it off. "You're perfect for me."

Once he had stripped me of my clothes, he led me into the bathroom, holding onto my arms when I stepped into the tub, hot water washing over my legs. Pulling my knees to my chest, Edward sat on a small step stool, and grabbed a wash cloth. Dipping it into the fervid water, he began washing my body. There was nothing sexual in the way he touched me, even though I knew he still wanted me. Today, this moment, was about washing away my demons.

"I can wash myself," I murmured, but making no effort to stop him.

"I know you can, but I like doing it," he chuckled. "Makes me feel needed."

"Baby, I need you," I whispered, thickly. "More than you know."

"Do you?" he questioned, meeting my eyes. "When you're running yourself into the ground, do you need me? Or when you don't eat? Do you need me then?"

I flinched, knowing the words he threw at me were true, but he made it seem easy. "I need you to love me," I whimpered. "To never leave me, to not let me go again."

"I've never let you go," he sighed. "You're the one who's letting go. Baby, you have to deal with this."

Turning from him, I ripped the wash cloth from his hand. "Then tell those bastards in my head to leave me the fuck alone," I groused. Sighing Edward, got up, leaving me alone. Guilt ate at me, he'd only been trying to help, and I fucked everything up, as I seemed to do a lot lately. Maybe like I had done all of my life.

I finished my bath, draining the tub before I climbed out and dried off. Running the towel over my hair, I looked at myself in the mirror, eyes immediately drawn to the long scars across my chest. With a shaky hand, I ran my fingers across them, hearing the whooshing of the whip, feeling the sting when it connected to my skin. Whimpering, I rushed out of the bathroom, trying to outrun the memories that haunted me for over a year now. Edward was right. I had to start dealing with all of this. I just didn't know how, but I knew who could help me.

Tossing my towel in the hamper, I dressed quickly, choosing to wear a simple pair of jeans and one of Edward's work out shirts from the Bureau. Once I had my shoes on, I threw my hair up in a messy bun, grabbed my keys and cell phone from the dresser, and headed out into the living room, where Edward, Ben, and Angela sat. Looking back at me, I saw the same look in all three of their eyes; longing.

"I'll be back," I promised, meaning each word more than they would know.

"Be safe," replied Edward.

I walked over, bringing my hand to his face. "I love you," my eyes filled with tears. "Never doubt how much I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too," he murmured, closing the distance between our lips. "Forever, baby."

Kissing him again, I rushed out of the house, jumped into my car. He would have come with me in a heartbeat, but I needed to do this for him, and not with him. He stood by me when nobody else would, loved me when I screamed at him to leave me, begged him not to leave me, and did everything I could to prove that he'd be better off without me. It was time for me to fix myself, once and for all.

Parking in front of the large, red brick house, I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and sent a single text message: **I'm outside. Need help, please.**

Closing my phone, I waited, but I didn't need to wait long. The front door of the house opened, and the person I needed the most came running down the winding pathway, opening the passenger door of my car, and climbing inside. Bringing my hand up to my chest, I took a shaky breath, looking over at her.

"I'm losing it," I wept.

"Tell me," murmured Esme, reaching over and pulling my hand down from my chest.

"They're in my head," I explained, gritting my teeth together. "They're screaming at me to tell them what they want, but I don't know what that is."

"Who are they?" she pushed, speaking with soft, gentle tones.

"Them," I grumbled. "Those men."

"They have names, Bella. You give them power when you refuse to call them by name."

"Demetri, Ronan, Mr. Big." I lifted my eyes to hers. "James."

"Where do they have you?"

"Inside that shack," I gasped, feeling the panic filling me again. "Why won't they leave me alone?"

"They aren't there, Bella," she murmured, reaching up with her free hand and wiping the tears of my face. "James is dead. The other three are in prison. They can't hurt you. Only you can hurt you now."

"But they are," I insisted. "Every time I close my eyes, they are there. EVERY TIME!"

Silence filled the car. Esme sat in her seat, watching me, waiting for me to talk to her. The words were stuck in my throat. My heart raced, beating against my ribs. Shaking my head, I looked out my window, blinking back the tears begging to be released. "I'm hurting Edward," I confessed. "I don't know how to stop."

"Do you tell him how you feel?"

"I want to, but I don't like when he's sad." I paused, turning back to her. "He loves me, even though I hurt him and push him away."

"Do you love him?" wondered Esme.

My eyes flew open. "I love him more than anything, Esme," I gasped. "Without him, I'd...I'd die."

"Then fight for him," she urged.

"I'm trying," I cried.

"Are you?" she countered. "Hiding in the front seat of your car? Locking yourself up in one of the interrogation rooms? Is that how you fight for those you love?"

"They stare at me," I spat.

"How can they stare at you when you are hiding?" The truth in each word stung, I flinched. "Bell, I'm not saying you don't have every right to be angry. You've been through more hell than anyone one person should have to go through, but you're making the choice to let it control you."

"How do I take back that control?" I shifted my gaze to hers. "Tell me how I stop feeling afraid that every time I leave, it will be the last time I see him?"

"There's no magic cure, Bell. You will always feel like that, because you've lived it. We all have, but we can't let that fear stop us from living our life."

Dropping her hand, I looked out my window. "I missed it."

"What?" Already knowing, but wanting me to say it.

"The FBI, I missed it," I admitted. "Edward would tell me about some case he and..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath. "He and Garrett were working on, I envied him. I told myself that I was better off at the academy, that the rookies needed me to teach them, show them what the real world was like, but I hid there. I know that now."

"Bella, why did you become a cop?"

I turned in my seat, facing her. "Because, and I know this is going to sound cliché, but I wanted to help people."

Raising an eyebrow, she asked, "How can you help them when you're too busy hiding in one of those rooms?"

"Es, I don't know," I muttered. "I just don't know."

"Look, nobody thinks this is easy for you. I can promise you that, but, Bella, you have to push past this and let it go. You went through hell, and it sucked, but you survived. You've got a gift for seeing things that others don't see. As much as I hate that you put yourself in danger, you used to love it. Do you still?"

"I don't know," I replied, honestly.

"That's what you need to find out," she smiled. The door to the house opened, and we looked over, watching Carlisle come running out, pulling on his jacket. "Looks like duty calls."

"Es," I murmured. She looked at me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she brought her hand up to my cheek. "Come see me next week. We'll figure this out together, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. She leaned over and kissed my cheek, before climbing out of the car. Placing a kiss on Carlisle's lips, she hurried back into the house, before he climbed into my car.

"The hospital called, Garrett's awake," he explained.

I started the car, throwing it into drive, and speeding down the road. Garrett waking up was the first break we'd had in the case in the last few weeks. We needed something, anything to go on, because right now, we had nothing. Carlisle sighed, throwing his arm on the back of my seat. I could feel him watching me, unasked questions resting on the tip of his tongue.

"Are you going to keep staring at me?" I quipped.

"Maybe," he muttered, finally looking away. "Are you okay?"

"No," I snorted, taking a quick peek at him, "but you knew that already."

He tried not to smile, failed. "I did," he chortled.

Rolling my eyes, I speed through a red light, thankful for the flashing red light on the top of my car. "What would you think if I told you I wasn't sure I could do my job anymore?"

"I'd call you a motherfucking baby and tell you to get your head out of your ass already," he blurted out. I smiled, that was Carlisle for you. "Is that what you're telling me?"

"No, I just don't know if I love this job anymore," I explained. "Carlisle, I still feel like I have to prove myself to everyone. Do I?"

"Yes," he admitted. I scowled. "But not because you're a woman, Bella. It's because you're stronger than everyone else."

"That makes no sense," I sighed, parking in the front of the hospital and cutting the engine.

"Bella, when you first went to the academy, what did you do when people questioned your ability to do the job?"

"I told them to fuck off and proved to them that I could."

He nodded, smiling. "When you came to New York and I called you everything from a cunt to a bitch, what did you do?"

"I punched you in the nose, and proved to you that I was the best partner you'd ever have," I laughed. "Which I was."

"Then why the hell are you letting some motherfucking memories keep you from doing your job?" He pushed open his door, unbuckling his seatbelt. "I shouldn't have asked you to come back, but we need you, Bella. You see things that we don't, we can't." He paused. "I know I expect too much from you. I wish I didn't, but when I was drowning in despair you told me that I had to make the choice on whether or not I was going to let them win. Now, it's your turn to make the same decision."

Carlisle climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind him and heading into the hospital. Knowing everything he said was true, I climbed out, following him inside. Ben, Angela, Emmett, and Jasper were waiting for us at the front desk with Edward, who looked right at me, anguish written all over his face.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I started this chapters several days ago, and it was a bitch. Moody, grumpy, irritable. Honestly, it started getting on my last nerves. Then last night, it finally started talking. So I hope you enjoy it.**


	10. Chapter 10

The stretch into the hospital felt like it had taken miles, when in reality it'd only been a handful of yards. The automatic doors slid open, revealing the rest of our team waiting for us, worry and fear etched on each of their faces. But my focus, and my heart, were locked on Edward's emerald green eyes, the pain oozing out of them. The pain I had caused, because I held onto my grief for too long.

Walking up to him, I slipped my hands into his, bringing them up to my lips. There were a thousand and one different thoughts running through my head, begging to find their way between my lips, but I didn't utter a single one of them. Standing in the middle of the hospital lobby, with everyone around us, was not the place for us to have the discussion that we needed to have.

"Okay, so listen up," started Carlisle, clearing his throat. Dropping Edward's hands, but standing as close to him as I could, I turned and faced Carlisle. "Dr. Thornton said Garrett's woken up, but that he's still a little confused on what happened. He advised that it might be better if only a few of us went in to talk to him."

He paused, shifting his gaze over to me for a split second. Long enough for me to know exactly what he was thinking. I'd lost all respect in his eyes, too. "So I will be going in there with just Ben, Edward, and," taking a deep breath, "Bella."

Emmett and Jasper inhaled deeply, exchanging a look between each other. Ignoring the stabbing pain in my heart, I shifted my eyes to the floor, knowing they had every right to question my ability to do my job, seeing as I hadn't been doing it over the last couple of weeks. Placing his hand on my shoulder, Edward tried to silently assure me that everything would be okay, but I knew until I made the choice to put myself on the line, nothing would be okay.

"Is Kate here?" questioned Angela, ignoring Emmett and Jasper. Everyone shifted their eyes over to me, giving me what I knew to be looks of pity. Deny all they want, but Kate blamed me for what happened to her and Garrett.

"Yes," confirmed Carlisle. Angela let it go, knowing just like did, that once Carlisle made a decision, he stuck to it. Shifting his eyes back over to me, he said, "Let's go."

We followed him over to the elevator, stepping on once the doors opened. Barry Manilow's Mandy came pouring out of the speakers, I rolled my eyes. When the hell did Barry Manilow become cool enough to even play in elevators?

"Oh, Mandy," sang Emmett, under his breath. "Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Mandy."

"Dude," groused Jasper popping him on the back of the head.

"What?" jibed Emmett, blushing up around the ears. I snorted, shaking my head. "Got something to say, Swan?"

"Yeah," I snapped, not liking the tone in his voice. "I'd stick to your day job. Your singing voice is shit."

The doors slid open when Emmett grumbled, "At least, I'm doing my day job."

Brushing past me, he stomped out of the elevator, with Jasper, Ben, and Angela following him. Carlisle, reaching out to stop the doors, looked back at me. "Ignore him. He doesn't understand."

Shaking my head, I walked past him. "Why do they have to understand?"

Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela were standing in front of the door to Garrett's room with Dr. Thornton, and the two police officers who had been keeping watch during this shift. Dr. Thornton looked exhausted, heavy bags hung under his eyes, his normally smooth hair stuck up everywhere. He'd been up here nearly nonstop over the last two weeks, taking a personal interest in both Garrett and Kate's care. His background check had come back clear, but I wondered why he felt this need to be here all the time?

Meeting my eyes for just a moment, he sighed. "I'm not entirely sure that he's going to be able to tell you anything."

"We have to try," replied Edward. "Give us a few minutes."

Nodding, Dr. Thornton left, heading down the hallway to one of the other rooms. Turning, I looked around at all of them, before placing my hand on my hips. "Look, I know I've been...a little crazy, or whatever, but I'm trying. It's not easy letting myself go back to...the darkness, and..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath. "I want to be Swan again, you know? I want to be the bad ass, who wouldn't hesitate to drop every one of you on your asses, but I'm not her right now. I don't know that I can ever be her again."

"God, for a fucking genius, you're so fucking stupid sometimes," griped Jasper, tilting his head up to look at me. "You think we don't know how hard this is on you? We do."

"You don't," I disagreed.

"Bullshit," he spat. I flinched. "Ali cries herself to sleep every fucking night, Swan, cause you're ignoring her again. I want to be able to hold her and tell her that you're okay, but I can't fucking lie to her. You're not okay, Bella, we all know, but instead of letting us help, you fucking hide like a little bitch."

Edward placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling me toward him. Emmett snorted, glaring at him. "And you coddle her," he snarled. "Dude, we get that you love her, but standing back and watching her self-destruct, isn't helping any of us."

"This isn't about you," snarled Edward. "She needs time, and I'm willing to give her what she needs."

"You're willing to lay down and be her little bitch," he snarked back. His words cut straight through to my heart.

Sighing, I shrugged Edward's hand off my shoulder, bustling past all of them, and stepping into Garrett's room, sliding the door shut behind me. Kate was sitting next to his bed, with his hand pressed up to her mouth, soft whispers slipping out between her lips. Shifting my eyes over to him, I saw him taking shallow breathes, wincing each time he brought air into his lungs. The bruises had long since faded, but the agony etched all over his face was evident of the pain he felt.

"What are you doing in here?" groused Kate. I shifted my back to hers. "Get out."

"Katie," Garrett choked out, gasping for air. "Don't."

She shook her head. "I don't want that bitch in here."

"I need to talk to her," he pleaded with her. "Please, baby."

Dropping his hands, she walked by me, glaring before she shut the door, leaving me and Garrett alone. Bringing my hand up to my chest, I walked over to his bed, taking the seat she'd just abandoned in her haste to get away from me. Shifting on his bed, he winced, little a low hiss slip out between his lips.

"That hurts," he whined, pushing himself up a little.

"Gar, what happened?"

Sighing, he shook his head, looking away from me. "I thought I could handle it, but I guess I was wrong."

"Handle what?" I pressed.

Closing his eyes for a second, he turned back to me. "I'm not even entirely sure I know exactly what was going on, but something big."

"You gotta give me something," I pleaded with him.

"About two...well, I guess three months ago," he started. "I received a package at home that contained two flash drives and a series of books by L. St. John."

"Who's he?" I thought back to the books in his office.

"I have no idea." He winced, coughing. "I'd never heard of him before."

"What was on the flash drives?"

"A bunch of pictures," he replied. "Mostly nature pictures, but there were a handful of architectural shots, too. A couple of places in New York, Boston, Chicago, LA. Inside the box was a note saying to keep the flash drives safe, and not to tell anyone I had them. I tried to find this L. St. John, but everything I found turned out to be a fake."

Taking another deep breath, he continued, "I stuck them in my desk drawer and forgot about them, until two weeks later, when I received the first of the two pictures hanging in my office at my house." Shaking his head, he shifted on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. "This bed sucks."

"Garrett, what's so special about the pictures?" I asked, ignoring his grumbling.

"The pictures mean nothing," he muttered, wryly. "But between the back of the frames and the pictures are documents."

I waited for him to explain, but he just laid there, staring at me. "Are you going to tell me what these documents were from?"

Before he could reply, the door to his room opened. Looking over, we saw Carlisle, Ben, and Edward come in, sliding the glass door closed behind them. Averting my eyes away from them, I looked back at Garrett, finding him watching me again.

"You went back to the Bureau, didn't you?" I nodded, unable to find the words. "You're not doing good, are you?"

"We're not here to talk about me," I mumbled, standing up. I walked over to his window, looking outside.

"What the fuck is going on?" snapped Edward, letting his anger show. "You're working a case without me?"

"Not exactly," Garrett backpedaled, pushing up on the mattress. "I just hadn't told you about it...yet."

"Splitting hairs, Garrett," snorted Ben, shaking his head. "Dude, you put your life, not to mention Katie's, on the line because you kept shit to yourself."

In an instant, Garret's eyes turned hard, bitterness and anger flashing. "I know fucking well what I've done, and who I did it, too, you little son of a bitch," he spat, falling back on his bed, wincing.

Ben opened his mouth, but I spoke first, "Get out." He, Edward, and Carlisle looked from him over to me. "If you're just gonna yell at him, making him feel guilty for every fucking thing he's done, then you might as well get your asses out of here."

Crossing the room, I sat back down, reaching out and taking Garrett's hand in mine. Behind me, nobody moved, which I took to mean they were going to stop being a bunch of dumb-asses and actually listen to what we needed him to tell us. Covering our joined hands with my other one, I angled my body so that I was speaking direction directly to him. Knowing how hard this would be for him to talk about, I wanted to make this as painless as possible.

"Take a deep breath." Garrett followed my order, breathing deeply. "Good. Now, do you know the men who attacked you?"

"Nope, never saw them before, but the blond guy, he was supposed to meet me down on one of the piers that night," explained Garrett. I tightened my grip in his hand. "Guess, he played me."

"How do you know he's the person you were supposed to meet?"

"I recognized his voice from when he called to set up the meeting," explained Garrett, shaking his head. "He'd called me at home the night before, claiming L. St. John had asked him to deliver a package to me. I should have known it was a trap. I'm so fucking stupid."

Behind me, I heard Edward grumble, "No shit."

Ignoring him, I posed my next question, the one I knew we were all wondering. "Why didn't you tell anyone on the team?"

Letting his eyes travel from me to the men behind me, Garrett hesitated, "I didn't know if I could trust everyone on our team." Edward, Ben, and Carlisle inhaled sharply. "Not you, but others."

"Who?" I knew, we all knew who he spoke of, but we all needed him to confirm what we already knew.

"Who do you think?" he grumbled. "Mike, Tyler." Letting his eyes travel behind me to Carlisle, he added, "Director Donaldson."

"Peter?" Carlisle and I asked at the same time.

Shaking my head, I released his hands, standing up. "You're saying Peter's involved in this?"  
"I don't know for sure, but there's a hell of a lot that points to him," muttered Garrett.

"What points to him?" pushed Carlisle, moving around the end of his bed to the opposite side as me.

"Budget reports from more than a dozen departments in the Bureau, all saying the same thing. A hell of a lot of money is unaccounted for."

"Are you saying Peter is embezzling money from the FBI?" wondered Ben.

"No, I'm saying that something doesn't add up," corrected Garrett, bringing his hand up to his hair, wincing again. "We've all felt the pinch with the economy the way it is, so why does anti-terrorism have five hundred thousand dollars more than their budget's claiming?"

Shifting my eyes up to Carlisle, he brought his hand up, covering his mouth. We'd trusted Peter a lot over the last few years, always feeling like he was a member of our team. Had we been wrong?  
Had he been playing us all along, trying to infiltrate our team for some reason? None of this made sense, but then again, all we'd had so far were bits and pieces. Now we needed to figure out how to connect them all together.

"I just..." Carlisle shook his head. "I can't believe that Peter would have anything to do with this. He's the one who brought me into the FBI."

The door to his room opened, we looked back as Kate came back in. Her eyes fluttered to me, before dropping back to Garrett. "He needs to rest."

"Katie-"

"She's right," I interrupted Carlisle. "We need to go."

Rolling her eyes, she walked over to the window, turning her back on all of us. Garrett reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me down to his lips. "Go to the house, get the books and the pictures. The flash drives are hidden under a loose floorboard under the book shelf. Keep them safe, Bella. Please, get them and find L. St. John."

Wrapping my fingers around his, I whispered, "I promise. I'll be back later, okay?" He nodded, groaning. "Get some rest, Gar."

Behind me Kate, sighed. Letting go of his hand, I looked over at her. There was so much I wanted to say to her, but in the middle of Garrett's hospital room, the day he finally came back to her, was not the place, or time, to have our conversation. With tears burning the corners of my eyes, I walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her, ignoring the way she flinched against me.

"I miss you, Katie," I whimpered. "And I'm sorry."

Dropping my arms, I turned, walking out of the room with Edward, Carlisle, and Ben following me. Emmett, Jasper, and Angela were standing outside in the hall with Christopher Murphy, and his partner. Two inches taller than Murphy, he wasn't nearly as muscular. He had dark blond hair, and small, beady blue eyes. Murphy gaze shifted from Angela over to me, smirking like he always did.

"Ma'am." He nodded his head me, leaning against the wall with one hand.

Lifting an eyebrow, I looked from his hand back to him. He quickly stood straight. "Recruit. You're covering the next shift?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, gesturing to his partner. "We're on until midnight."

Turning my gaze over to his partner, I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. "Name, officer?"

"Jonathon Ramsey, ma'am," he mumbled.

"How long you been on the job, Ramsey?"

"A little over two years, ma'am," he explained. "But that was in Chicago. Started here just a couple of weeks ago."

"Why'd you move?" I wondered, vaguely aware of everyone's eyes shifting between the two of us.

"My wife." He smiled. "We're expecting our first child in few months, and she wanted to be closer to her family."

Nodding, I looked between him and Murphy. "I don't need to explain to either of you how important the man you're guarding is, do I?"

"No, ma'am," they mumbled together.

"I hope not."

Leaving them to do their jobs, we headed back over to the elevator, riding down to the lobby, and leaving the hospital. Standing outside, I leaning against one of the rails in front of the valet, crossing my arms in front of me. All I could think about was all the information Garrett had given us, and where we should go from here. If Peter really was involved in all of this, the office would no longer be a safe place for us to go. While I was musing over everything, Carlisle, Edward, and Ben were catching Emmett, Jasper, and Angela up on what they had learned.

"We need to find this L. St. John." The moment the words were out of my mouth, they stopped speaking, looking over at me. "I don't know who he is, or what he has to do with this, but we need to find him before whoever is behind all of this does."

"And how do you suggest we find him?" Emmett raised an eyebrow, challenging me.

Pushing off the railing, I slid my hands to my hips. "The first thing we're gonna do is clear the air. Not a goddamn one of you understand how hard it was to come back to the FBI, even after a year. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I've been hiding, but..." Trailing off, I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "But the last thing I want is to lose the respect that you have for me, or that you had at least. Maybe it's too late, I don't know."

Shifting nervously, they didn't say anything. "I, um," I shook my head, bringing my hand to rest over my heart. I could feel the scars running up my chest, hearing the whip flying through the air before it struck. "Carlisle and I are gonna go by Garrett and Kate's to grab what we need. We'll meet back at the beach house. We can decide from there on what we need to do now."

Turning, I headed out toward the parking lot. I had barely taken four steps when I heard Jasper speak, "It's not too late." Freezing in mid-step, I stopped, but couldn't look at him. "It's not too late, Bella, but like we have to make the effort to understand you, you have to try to see what we do."

"What's that?" I looked over my shoulder at him.

"A strong, beautiful woman, who survived through more hell than she should have had to," he replied.

"Who said I survived?" I scoffed.

"The same bitch who told me that she'd pin my ass to the mat any time, any place." Shifting my eyes over to Emmett, I frowned. "I miss her, Swan."

"Me too, McCarty, but she's not here right now. She may never be back, either. You can accept me for who I am now, or not, but you have to make that choice."

Looking over at Edward, I smiled, earning me a small one in return. Carlisle and I headed back out to my car, climbing in and taking off toward Garrett's house, while everyone went to the beach house. Pulling up in front, Carlisle and I rushed inside, grabbing both pictures off the walls, and pulling all the books down. He and I shimmied the bookshelf out the way so I could grab the two flash drives from under the floorboard. Shoving them into my pocket, we carried everything out to my car, hoping that we'd be able to get something from all of this.

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, who here thinks Peter is a baddie? Anyone? Hmm, interesting...**


	11. Chapter 11

When Carlisle and I got back to the beach house, we found everyone sprawled out in the living room, but not saying a word. The room was thick with tension, both from the anticipation of what we'd find with the things we'd grabbed at Garrett's and the stress stemming from our fractured team. I couldn't help, but feel guilty for drawing a line in the sand, so to speak. I needed more time, and they needed me to get my head out of my ass.

The only person not in the living room was Edward. Sighing, I ignored everyone and headed into our bedroom, shutting the door behind me. Standing in front of the window, Edward looked out over the ocean, one hand propped up on the window sill, and the other on his hip. Walking up behind him, I slipped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back.

"Why didn't he tell me?" he muttered, sliding his hand from his hip, over to my hands. "I'm his partner, he should have told me. I could have helped."

"I don't know," I replied. "None of this makes much sense."

Turning in my arms, he brought his hands up to my face, stroking my cheeks. "Are you okay? With everything that was said, are you okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of how I really felt in this moment. "It doesn't matter, not really. "

"It matters to me," he murmured, leaning his forehead down onto mine. "Feels like you are a million miles away."

"I'm here," I reassured him, or I tried to at least.

"Are you?" he whispered, his fingers tickling my cheek as he searched my eyes. "You're somewhere else."

"I'm working my way back, I promise," I breathed, closing my eyes. "Just don't leave me, because I need you so much."

"Bella, I'm never leaving you." This time he assured me, sliding one arm around my body, pulling me as close as he could. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whimpered, closing the distance between our lips.

Moaning, Edward gripped my body tighter, sliding his hand from my cheek to the back of my head. Our mouths battled against each others, tongues searching each other out. Grabbing my ass, Edward lifted me off the ground, carrying me over to our bed. He laid me down, crawling over my body and nestling himself between my legs. Taking a deep breath, he ran his hand up my thigh, pulling my leg over his hip. I could feel his need for me pressing through the dark jeans we wore.

Gasping at the contact it was easy to forget the handful of people sitting on the other side of the door, at least until one of the knocked on the door. "Bella? Edward?" called Carlisle. "Everything okay?"

"Motherfucker," groaned Edward, rolling off of me, hand reaching down to his crotch.

"We're fine," I yelled. "We'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," came Carlisle response, irritation evident.

Turning onto my side, I propped myself up on my elbow, looking down at my husband. Lowering my hand down to his, I gripped his manhood through the denim, squeezing. "Bella," he moaned, covering my hand.

"Think you can be quiet?" I whispered, pressing my lips against the scruffiness of his jaw. "If you can, I'll help you out."

"No," he admitted, pushing his hips into my hand, "but I'll sure as fuck try."

Allowing a wicked smiled to grace my face, I moved so that I straddled his legs, undoing his jeans and lowering the zipper. Edward lifted his hips, allowing me to shimmy his pants and boxer briefs downs around his knees. His shaft sprang out, flopping against his stomach. Long, thick, and impossibly hard, my mouth watered just thinking about tasting him on my tongue.

Tracing the inside of his thighs with one hand, I curled my other around him, causing him to moan. Stroking him a few times, I leaned down, licking the moisture that had pooled along the tip. Edward slammed his hand down on the bed, fisting the sheet. Laughing to myself, I wrapped my lips around him, letting him slide between my lips. Releasing the sheet, Edward reached up, grabbing my ponytails, lifting his hips to meet my mouth. I worked him slowly, letting him slide a little deeper each time.

Hitting the back of my throat, he let out a garbled hiss, "Fuck, baby."

Smirking inwardly, knowing how much control I had over him. Even though we'd been going through a tough time, our sex life hadn't suffered. Pulling on my hair, I knew Edward was getting closer to his release. His breathing had become shallow. Relaxing my throat, he pushed his cock in farther. With a strained grunt, he let go, filling my mouth. Swallowing as much as I could, I drank him down until he stopped twitching. Releasing him, I leaned up and kissed him, knowing he could taste himself on my tongue.

Edward reached for my pants, but I pushed his hands away. "Later," I whispered, climbing off of him. "They're gonna start getting impatient."

"Baby, let me take care of you," he purred, pulling me back down, nipping at my ear.

Placing my hand on his chest, I pushed him off of me, scrambling off the bed. "You already do too much for me," I groused, wrapping my arms around myself.

Nibbling on my bottom lip, I shuffled into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Sliding to the floor, I took a deep breath, trying to get a grip. "Baby, I don't do nearly enough for you," came Edward's voice. I could almost see him leaning against the door, one hand raking through his hair. "I'd go to the moon and beyond for you, love."

Standing up, I leaned my forehead against the door, allowing a tear to slide down my face. "But you shouldn't have to, Edward," I whimpered. "I want to be the woman you married again."

"You are her," he insisted. "One day, you'll see her, too."

"And if I don't?" My words tumbled between my lips, barely audible to myself, much less Edward.

"I'll love you forever, Bella," he promised.

"Forever," I choke out, unable to control my tears any longer.

Knowing I'd need a few minutes to collect myself, Edward whispered for me to take my time, he'd deal with them. Just one more way I didn't deserve to have a husband like him. Stumbling over to the sink, I turned on the cold water, cupping my hands, rinsing my face. Grabbing the engraved hand towel, hanging on the wall, I brought it up, patting my face, and staring at myself in the mirror, trying to recognize the woman who now stood in front of me. One moment, I felt strong and beautiful, the next, I could barely hang on to my thin thread of sanity.

Grabbing my tooth brush, I plied it with toothpaste and brushed my teeth thoroughly, making sure to get every part of my mouth. I couldn't believe I'd just given my husband a blow job while the rest of our team sat on the other side of the door. Letting my toothbrush fall into the sink, I held onto the vanity, trying to keep myself upright. How much of a whore could I be?

"Bell," called Carlisle, knowing on the bathroom door. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I snapped, anger laced in the simple word. "I told you I'd be right out, just leave me the fuck alone."

"Yeah, cause you sound okay," he griped, but I heard him walk away from the door. Closing my eyes, I took another deep breath, I was a bitch.

Pushing off the vanity, I pulled my hair down from it's ponytail, and ran my brush through it, not caring that the tangles hurt. I deserved the pain. Tossing it back down, I smoothed out my shirt and jeans, and walked through our bedroom, and out into the living room. Emmett and Jasper were sitting with Ben and Angela on the couches, pouring through the handful of books written by L. St. John. Shifting their eyes over to me, I quickly looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment in each of their eyes. I'd seen it enough, straight through to my soul.

Edward and Carlisle were sitting at the dining room table, the back of the pictures revealing the dozen documents that would give us our first break on the case. I hoped at least. Grabbing my laptop out of our office, I settled into the seat between them, aware of the way everyone kept glancing over at me. They claimed I needed to deal, get a grip, or whatever, but they still watched me like I was about to grab a knife and slit my own throat. Perhaps, they thought I would.

Pulling the two flash drives from my back pocket, I pulled the first one in, uploading the images from it, before doing the same with the other one. Edward stood up and walked into the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later with a cup of coffee. Placing the cup in front of me, he leaned over and kissed my cheek, just below my ear, telling me in his own subtle way that he loved me. Blushing, I lifted my hand to his face, telling him that I loved him back, even if I couldn't get those three little words out right that moment. I'd always love Edward, that would be the one constant in my life and maybe, that's be enough.

"These aren't going to tell us shit," groused Emmett, tossing his book down on the table. Shifting my gaze from the pictures filling my screen to him, I rolled my eyes. "Got a problem, Swan?"

"Nope," I muttered, turning back to my screen. "Besides the attitude you keep spouting off, of course."

"Attitude," he scoffed. "If you're referring to the fact that we've been working our asses off while you were too busy getting your rocks off inside your bedroom, then yes, I guess I do have an attitude."

I tensed. "You stupid fucker..." Edward trailed off when I stood up, picking up my laptop. "Bella-"

"Don't," I whimpered, blinking back the tears of humiliation. "I'm not really surprised by the shit that comes out of his mouth. He's never been very subtle at expressing his disgust with our relationship, why should he start now?"

Grabbing a blanket, I hugged my laptop to my chest and headed down to the beach, knowing I couldn't sit inside that house with Emmett without sobbing like a baby. While I'd never tell him this, I valued Emmett's opinion of me, all of their opinions really. Knowing that I let them down, that I'd failed to do my job, hurt worse than anything he could ever say to me. I just didn't know how to let the pain go. It wasn't as easy as just saying everything was fine and dandy. My body may have mended from the abuse I took at the hands of my attackers, but my soul was barely being held together.

Spreading the blanket on the sand with one hand, I settled in the middle, placing my laptop on my knees and began analyzing each photograph. As Garrett had told me, most of them were nature pictures. Everything from the Grand Canyon to Yellowstone National Park. The rest of the photos were from most of the major US cities; New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago, and, of course, Los Angeles, each one of landmark in the city. The Statue of Liberty, Liberty Bell, Boston Tea Party Ships, Victory Monument, and, oddly, the front of the Federal Courthouse in Los Angeles. Besides the obvious of them all being national monuments, or landmarks, I didn't understand why L. St. John sent these to Garrett, or why he picked him.

I'd gone through them all at least a dozen times before I saw it. Only someone knowing what the small Celtic cross flickering in the lower left hand corner of the screen, would have understood the significance of the symbol. Scrambling to my feet, I left my blanket on the ground and rushed into the house. Skidding to a stop when I saw Alice, Rose, and Esme in the living room. My sisters smiled, reaching out for me, but I turned and walked into our office, placing my laptop down on my desk. Digging in the top drawl of my desk, I pulled out a small box, laying it next to my computer. Falling into my seat, I flipped open the lid and pulled out the last disk, inserting it into my hard drive. Two seconds later the pictures faded away and in their place were a hundred lines of code.

Each line of code had five numbers. The first had two, thirty-six, twenty, five, and three. The next code had one, two hundred eighty-seven, two, six, and one. Scanning the list of code, I noticed after the first two dozen, they begin to repeat in the exact same order as they began. Tapping my fingers on my desk, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to figure out what I was seeing. Each set of numbers began with a single digit, between one and six. The second number in each code ranged from one to nearly four hundred. The third line never went higher than fifty, and the fourth and fifth lines never went above ten. But what did they mean?

"Are you gonna keep hiding?" Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore Rose's question. "Bella."

"I'm not hiding," I muttered. "I'm working, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Did he send you in here?"

"Nobody sends me to do anything," clipped Rose, walking into my office and sitting on the corner of my desk. "But he's worried."

I rolled my eyes. "The only part of me that Emmett worries about is how much I'm letting the team down, Rosie."

"That's not true." She defended him, always defending everyone other than me.

Slamming my hand down on the desk, I stood up, my chair shooting out behind me. "It is true," I hissed. "Everyone has made their feelings about me painfully clear, Rose, so do me a favor and get the fuck out of here."

Stepping away from me, she brought her hand up to her lips, allowing her tears to fall down her face. I wanted to wipe them away, beg for her forgiveness, but I didn't. Instead, I stood there, with a hateful glare on my face, and venom in my words. "Fine," she whispered, stopping in the doorway. "Keep this up, Bella, and you won't have anybody left."

"No less than I deserve," I muttered. Opening her mouth once, she clamped it shut and let me alone. Slumping back down in my chair, I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my flesh. Would I ever stop making a mess of everything?

"Bella," called Edward. I looked over just when he stepped into the doorway to our office. He leaned against the door frame, smiling down at me. "We're ordering some food. Looks like we'll have a long night ahead of us."

"I'll cook," I insisted, pushing away from the desk.

"Baby, you don't need to cook for us," he grumbled, crossing the room and slipping his arms around me. "Between the pictures, the financial documents, and the books, we've got plenty to keep us busy."

Pushing away from him, I looked from him, down to my laptop, feeling my eyes fly open. "How many books were there?"

"Six," he replied. "Why? What's that?"

Instead of answering him, I pushed past him, and ran into the living room, causing everyone to look up at me. Two of the six books were sitting on the coffee table, while the other four were in Ben, Angela's, Jasper, and Emmett's hands. Allowing the code sequence to flash through my mind again, I tore the second book in the series out of Jasper's hand.

"Fuck, Bella, rip my hand off why don't you," he snarked.

Waving him off, I opened it page thirst six, counting down to line twenty, word five, and the third letter, a P. Snatching the books away from everyone else, I dropped them on the dining room table, pulling Carlisle's pen from his hand, and a piece of paper. He and Edward gathered around me while I began deciphering the code I'd pulled out of the pictured, finding one letter at a time.

**Protect them all for they hold more than the hearts of a nation. Secrets will come out and hope will fall. Trust no one.**

"What the hell does that mean?" grumbled Edward.

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "It means, I know who we are looking for," I admitted, lifting my eyes to his. "Now, we just have to find her."

"Her?" pressed Jasper. I looked around at all of them. "Who is she?"

I hesitated for a split second, knowing the moment I spoke her name what would happen. "Lilian Stimmons Johnson."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry for the delay, I've been working on this one for three days, but they didn't really seem to want to talk too much. So, theories? Anyone?**


	12. Chapter 12

"No, it can't be," gasped Carlisle. Sighing, I turned and looked back at him. "It's been almost a dozen, years," he muttered. "Why now?"

"I don't know." Brushing my hair out of my face, I took a deep breath.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" whined Emmett.

"Lilian Stimmons Johnson," began Carlisle, keeping his eyes locked on mine, "disappeared almost twelve years ago on her way to Manhattan. She and her partner, Conner Grey, had pulled a case of a nine year old boy who'd been found sitting on the doorstep of one of the buildings. There were signs of sexual abuse so we were called in. Bella and I were knee deep in the case involving James Sanders, so they caught the call."

"Except, they never made it to the hospital," I added, "or were seen again. We found their car on the south side of Central Park, keys locked inside, but nothing else there. Their apartments had been cleared out."

"Their bank accounts had been drained and closed, all records pertaining to their education, employment history, and personal lives suddenly no longer existed," continued Carlisle. "Simply put, there was no trace of them left."

"So, neither of you ever heard from either of them again?" pressed Jasper, standing up.

"We got a postcard about three weeks after she disappeared with these words and no way to track it," I admitted, gesturing to the code she's placed in the books. "Lili's parents were both in the last stages of Alzheimer's Disease. She'd found them placement in an adult nursing facility in Connecticut, but after she disappeared, so did they," I explained. "The director told us Lili had requested them be transferred to a facility closer to the city, but when we checked, they weren't there and there was no trace they'd ever been there."

"What about Conner's family?" wondered Ben.

"His parents never heard from him," muttered Carlisle. He took a deep breath. "Because there were no signs of foul play, or any reason to think they'd been harmed, we had to let their case go cold."

"How can you be sure it's her?" asked Angela.

"Because it's her code," answered Carlisle, drawing everyone's attention over to him. "It's what the three of us would say when we were dealing with an asshole in New York."

"It meant it was time to take them down, show them who's boss," I explained.

"So why did she send all of this to Garrett?" pressed Ben.

Shaking my head, I sighed, "I don't know, but I'll find out."

Picking up the first book in the series, I began flipping through the pages. "How'd you know there was a code?" Emmett asked, pulling the book out of my hands.

Huffing, I snagged it back. "She'd encrypted the photographs on the flash drives," I replied, trying to keep myself under control. The last thing I need would be for Emmett to have any more reason not to respect me anymore. "There was a small Celtic Cross in the bottom corner," I added.

"Of course," sighed Carlisle. "She knew you'd recognize it."

"I don't understand," mumbled Emmett.

"Right after Lili joined our unit, she and I went out for drinks." I smiled, remembering that night. "We got drunk and ended up getting tattoos. Hers was of a Celtic Cross."

"And yours?" Angela smirked.

"Not relevant," I muttered, blushing. Edward and Carlisle both shifted, nervously.

Coming over and wrapping her arm around my shoulder, she leaned into my ear. "It's on your ass, isn't it?"

"Angie," I groused, shrugging her arm off.

Hugging the book to my chest, I left her standing there between Edward, Carlisle, and Emmett, trying to keep the embarrassment off my features. It wasn't embarrassed by my tattoo, but it wasn't their business, and they didn't need to know. They already knew too much about my sex life, and had already seen enough of my body thanks to the tape James Sanders made when he held me in his cabin. Shivering, I settled onto the little, black and white checkered sofa in our office. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I snagged the blanket off the back and wrapped it around my legs. Settling into the cushions, I began to read. Something told me these books had more to with this case, and why Lili had sent them to us, than just the code. I just needed some time to figure out what it was.

"Good book?" wondered Carlisle.

Sighing, I looked over the top of it, finding him leaning against the door frame with his arms folded in front of him, and his ankles crossed. Resting on his lips, was a smirk. I hated that fucking smirk. "It's okay."

He nodded, before stepping into the room and shutting the door. Falling into my desk chair, he spun around and studied the code still running on my laptop. "Did you use your program?"

"Duh," I muttered, with a roll of my eyes. "Know of one better?"

"No," he chuckled, spinning the chair around to face me. "She'd have known that, too."

"Of course, she would have," I scoffed, shaking my head.

Carlisle smiled as he pushed himself out of my chair and fell onto the couch next to me, pulling my legs across his lap. For several minutes, neither of us said a word, both letting the realization of the situation hang in the air. I hadn't thought of Lili in so long. While I'd always wondered where she went, I hoped that she'd found happiness.

"Remember the way she handled that dipshit Callahan," he laughed. "Fuck, I hated that little son of a bitch."

"You and me both." I sighed, closing my eyes. "Lili handed him his ass on a silver platter, didn't she?"

"Yeah." He smiled as he started rubbing my foot. "How is she involved in this?" muttered Carlisle. "There's no way she's crooked, is there?"

"No," I declared, trying to convince myself as much as anyone else. "Sassy, snarky, bitchy, Lili was a lot of things, but crooked was not one of them. What ever she's gotten herself into she clearly needs help and sent this to Garrett to get to us. I just don't know why."

"But why Garrett? Why not you?" he groused. "Or even me."

"I don't know, Car," I replied. "That's what I'm trying to figure out, though."

Nodding, he turned his eyes from mine, but kept his hands on my feet. "What's going on inside that head of yours?" I wondered, shifting so that I was sitting next to him and laid my head in his shoulder.

"I think all I've done is fuck everything up," he whispered, like he was confessing to murder. "The team is barely hanging on, this case seems to be getting more confusing everyday, and you're hurting. Neither Esme nor I can help you this one, can we?"

"No," I admitted, slipping my arms around him. "I think I have to figure this out on my own."

"I should never have asked you to come back," he muttered with a heavy sigh.

"Maybe not," I murmured, letting my eyes drift closed. "But I'm trying, I really am."

"I know," he whispered, sliding his arm around my waist and holding me tighter. Giving into the exhaustion that had been wrecking havoc over me for the last several days, I allowed myself to drift off to sleep in the arms of one of the only two men I trusted with my life.

I'm not sure how long I'd been sleeping when I felt my body being lifted. Barely opening my eyes, I found myself in Edward's arms. Wrapping mine around his, I snuggled into him, clinging onto him like my life depended on it. Maybe it did.

"We'll let ourselves out," whispered Carlisle. "See you in the morning."

"Okay," murmured Edward.

Vaguely aware of everyone leaving, Edward carried me through the house and into our bedroom. He laid me on the bed, began removing my clothes, leaving me in just my panties and bra. Reaching out, I grabbed the top of his pants, pulling him onto the bed with me so that his body covered mine.

"Make love to me," I whimpered, feeling vulnerable. "Please, touch me and remind me that I'm yours."

"You are mine," he murmured, sliding his hand up my leg. "You always will be."

Edward pulled away from me enough to rid himself of his clothes, and slip the last of mine off, as well. Moving so that he hovered over me, he leaned down, finding my waiting lips. Sliding his mouth down my body, he took the time to worship my body, paying special attention to my nipples. Sucking one into his mouth, he palmed the other, pinching it between his fingers.

"I need you now," I cried out, arching toward him.

Nestling himself between my legs, he placed the tip of his shaft at my center, sliding into where I needed him to be. Gasping, I gripped his shoulders, overwhelmed with the feeling of him fully inside of me. Dropping his head into the curvature of my neck, Edward began to move inside of me, slow at first, but quickly picking up speed. His hands were gripping my hips, pulling me to him with each thrust of his hips. My hands found their way from his shoulders to his hair, weaving through his auburn locks.

"Oh, fuck, baby," moaned Edward, nipping at my skin with his teeth. "Feel so fucking good."

"More," I begged. "Harder."

Increasing his pace, his hands moved down, cupping my ass and lifting me off the bed. The feel of him driving deeper into me, pushed me over the edge. Tugging on his hair, my climax washed over me, bringing him with me. Cursing into the side of my neck, Edward stilled his hips, finding his own release. Rolling onto his back, he slipped out of me, but pulled my body with his, allowing me to rest my head on his chest.

"I love you, baby," he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

With a smile, I replied, "I love you, too."

Three days later, we found ourselves still sitting at square one. While Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper had been spending every moment trying to figure out the documents found taped on the back of the pictures, I'd been pouring myself into the six book series Lili had written. I was on my third read through, sure I'd missed something written between the lines, but so far I hadn't found anything. Emmett, Angela, and Ben had been working to match up the the discrepancies between how much money each department had been allotted, and how much they really had. So far, we'd found more than two million dollars in excess funding. Something was off, and all of it pointed to Peter.

Wednesday morning, Edward and I were startled awake by my cell phone blaring with a new text message. Scrambling out of bed, I stumbled toward the dresser, stubbing my toe on the bed frame. "Fuck," I hissed, hopping over there. Edward laughed. "It's not fucking funny."

Of course, that only made his laughter come out harder. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, finding a text from Emily. She'd been avoiding me since I came back to the Bureau, so it surprised me to see anything from her. Sighing, I turned to Edward, reading her message out loud, "Bella, I found something you need to see. Hurry, Emily. Guess that means it's time to get up."

"Don't want to," he whined, grabbing me around the waist as I walked toward the bathroom and pulling me back onto the bed. Pinning my arms above my head, he smiled wickedly. "I think spending a few more minutes in bed together sounds much more fun."

I smiled, wiggling against him. "We could, but you know we can't," I murmured. "Emily might have a break for us, and we..." My words died out when Edward released my arms and climbed off the bed. "Edward."

"No, you're right," he grumbled, running his hands through his hair. "We've got a job to do. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Okay," I whispered, sitting up.

Edward walked into the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him. Tugging my knees up to my chest, I sighed. No matter what I did, I was letting someone down. Taking a deep breath, I pushed off the bed and walked into our closest, grabbing my clothes for work. Laying them on the bed, ran my thumb along the underside of my wedding bands. Would things ever be normal for us?

Crossing the room, I let myself into the bathroom. I could see Edward's silhouette through the shower curtain, his hands running through his hair. Over the last few days, things seemed to have been better between us, or I'd hoped they'd been, at least. True, I was struggling with my guilt, but I'd been trying to make the effort with him and the rest of our team. Maybe, it'd never be enough.

"Are you just going to stand there?" came his voice from inside the shower. "You're making me feel uncomfortable."

"Sorry," I mumbled, leaning against the vanity.

Shutting the water off, he pulled the shower curtain over and grabbed a towel from the shelf, drying himself. "Have you started your coffee?"

"No." Nodding, he wrapped the towel around his waist, leaving me alone. I'd really fucked up this time.

Twenty minutes later, I stepped out of our bedroom ready for work. Edward was sitting at the table, sipping on his coffee and reading through the paper. On the table, in front of my seat, sat my travel cup and two pieces of toast with strawberry jam, just the way I like it. Sliding into the seat, I reached over and placed my hand on his arm.

From behind his paper, he smiled. "So I've been thinking," he started, keeping his eyes locked on the paper, "maybe we should go away for a few days."

"Now?" His smile began to fade. "It's not that I don't want to go away, just we have this case, and..."

Once again, my words hung between us when Edward stood up, closing the paper. "I get it," he replied, shortly. "We'd better get going."

"Baby," I began, but stopped talking when he turned and headed for the door. "Edward, stop."

"No, it's fine, Bella, I get it, okay." Picking up his wallet and keys, he turned back to me. "There's always going to be some bullshit reason why we can't do something."

"Bullshit reason?" I spat. "This is Garrett and Katie, Edward. They are not a bullshit reason."

"No, they aren't, but before this case fell into our laps, it was one more group of recruits that needed you. You're always putting everyone else before me."

"I do not," I argued. He rolled his eyes. "Edward, I don't!"

"You do," he muttered, with a shake of his head. "And I'm starting to think you don't even care."

No matter how much I wanted to hide the flinch, I couldn't. Throwing open the front door, Edward walked out, leaving me standing there with my mouth wide open, and my heart breaking. As much as I wanted to blame him for feeling that way, I couldn't. Like everything else in my life, I'd been ruining the best part of who I was. Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I followed him out to his car, making sure to lock the beach house behind me. Sliding into the passenger seat, I put on my seat belt, ignoring the deep seated pain roaring inside of me as Edward drove toward the office.

There was only one word to describe the drive into work; awkward. Normally, we'd listen to the radio, or make mindless chitchat, but every time I found myself opening my mouth to say something to him, the words left me, and I'd snap my lips together. Shaking my head, I ended up gazing out of the window, trying to figure out how to make everything better.

Once we got to the Bureau, Edward climbed out of the car without a single glance back at me. I followed him inside and toward Emily's lab, hoping that at least work would be a useful distraction for the fuck up that was my life. My hand twitched a dozen times against my leg, begging me to reach out and take his hand. But I didn't. We were at work and had to be professional, even if knowing that he was pissed killed me.

Edward threw open the doors to Emily's lab, stopping short. Turning, he grabbed my arm and attempted to push me back out of the room.

"Edward," I shrieked, yanking my arm out of his. Stepping back toward the doors, I reached out and caught it before it could close.

"Baby, don't..." But it was too late. Throwing my free hand up to my mouth, I swallowed the scream that rushed to the tip of my tongue. Laying in the middle of her lab, body twisted into an odd formation, was Emily.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Now, I am going into hiding ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

My ears were filled with chaotic sounds of people screaming and rushing around behind me, but all I could focus on was Emily's lifeless body laying out before me. Taking a step toward her, I looked back when Edward reached out, grabbing my arm. His anger with me seemed to suddenly dissipate.

"Don't," he murmured, bringing other hand up to my cheek. "It's not your fault."

Slipping out of his grip, I frowned. "I know it's not. It's yours."

Dropping his hand, Edward's face contorted, pain etching off of him. I wanted to take it back, but the words were stuck in my throat. He caused us to fight this morning, making us late. He knew Emily had wanted to talk to me about something. It wasn't his fault, I knew this, but he didn't help anything, either.

Turning away from him, I made my way over to her, being careful not to contaminate the crime scene. Checking her pulse, I confirmed that she indeed was dead. Shaking my head, I tried to deny what I already knew. This had been an inside job. Only someone working with the Bureau could have gotten into Emily's lab. Fighting against the bile rising in my throat, I realized we could trust no one.

"Oh, my God." Wiping away my tears, I stood up, turning to Carlisle. Leaning against the wall, his eyes were locked on Emily's. "She's gone?"

"Yes," I mumbled, clearing my throat. "We need to get her out of here so we can process the room. Maybe they left us...something, anything."

Nodding his head stiffly, he turned to the rest of our team, barking out orders. Averting their eyes from me, Ben and Angela put in the call to lock down the building, preventing anyone to get in, or out of the building. Knowing whoever had killed Emily came from in house, we all knew time was against us. For all we knew, they'd already left. Emmett and Jasper headed out to start questioning everyone, leaving me, Edward, and Carlisle to process the scene.

Pulling on a pair of gloves, I took the camera from Carlisle and began taking as many pictures as I could. We needed to get every inch of the lab, everything Emily could have been working on, and, unfortunately, her body, too. Kneeling back next to her, I checked her for any clear signs of cause of death. There were no bullet holes, or knife wounds. In fact, there were no signs of outward trauma to her body at all. Brushing her hair out of her face, I didn't see any marks around her neck, either.

Giving the Coroner room, we stood by helplessly while they removed Emily's body. I'd never gotten the chance to make things right between us. She'd always felt I'd let her down, left her behind with all the boys, and I had. I never should have left a year ago. First Kate and Garrett, now Emily...How many more would find themselves facing the wrath of whoever was behind all of this?

"How the fuck did this happen?" barked Peter, storming into the crime scene.

Standing up, I shared a look with Carlisle before addressing him, "I don't know, Director. Do you?"

"Excuse me?" He lifted one of his eyebrows, shocked by my insolent tone. I didn't care. Right now, everything pointed to him and that scared me. Could we trust the man we'd come to respect?

My words tumbled out before I could stop them, "Do you know what happened here, Director?"

"Agent Swan, shut the fuck up," hissed Carlisle, moving over and grabbing my arm. "Help Masen process the room. Be thorough."

"Fine," I spat, ripping my arm out of his grip.

Giving me a look that clearly told me to calm the fuck down, Carlisle lead Peter out of the lab, apologizing for my rude behavior. Shifting my gaze away from them, I turned, running into Edward. Taking a step back, I looked up at him, opening my mouth several times, but finding myself enable to speak. Lifting his hand, he started to reach for me, but pulled back a moment later.

"We'd better get to work," he muttered, shifting his gaze from mine. "There's going to be a lot to process."

"Yeah, I know," I murmured.

"I'm sorry, if it makes any difference to you," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear him. "If I'd known, I would have gotten here faster."

Nodding, I shifted from one foot to the other. "I, um, know that I've made things hard for you, but I'm trying and..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, Bella, but you have to try harder," he groused, stepping closer to me. "You're putting everything before me. Every fucking thing."

"Masen, Swan," snapped Carlisle, drawing out attention to him. "Get your asses moving. We have a lot of shit to get through."

Taking a deep breath, I stepped away from Edward. Carlisle was right; we had too much work to do and this wasn't the time, nor the place, to deal with our marital troubles. Moving to where he was dusting for fingerprints, I started searching for hair, fibers, or anything I could find that would lead us to who had been in the room with Emily. Knowing she'd always been very adamant about keeping her lab in the best condition, anything we found would be important.

After nearly five hours, we managed to cover every inch of the scene, finding more than a dozen fingerprints, but nothing more. Emily's computer had been trashed, whoever had been here slammed it against the wall and, to make sure they did the job thoroughly, crushed the sides panels in. Bagging it, I hoped that I'd be able to recover something that would help me understand what she'd found. All of her case files were intact, so whatever she'd found, she hadn't added it any of her notes.

While everyone else headed up to our office, I headed down to the morgue. My legs shook with every step I took, my heart raced against my ribs. Stopping next to the cold, stainless steel table, I pulled the sheet back off of her head. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I struggled to keep my emotions in check. Emily didn't deserve to be laying here.

Pulling a stool over, I sat down, reaching out the grab her hand. Taking a deep breath, I reached over and stroked her cheek. "Oh, Em," I whimpered, "I'm so sorry. I should have been here, but like always, I was too late." Wiping away the tear that traveled down my face, I continued, "I've let everyone down, I know that. I just didn't know what else to do," I wept.

"Everyone expected more than I could give them. Every time I thought about coming back here, all I could see were the faces of the women I'd never been able to save, the children whose parents hurt them." I paused. "All I've ever wanted was to help people, make the world a safer place, but nothing I do helps."

"Do I need to come back?" Dropping Emily's hand, I brushed the tears away and turned around. The Coroner, Alexis Matthews, stood behind me, leaning against the door frame. "I can give you a few more minutes."

"It's fine," I muttered, turning back to Emily's body. "Any idea of cause of death?"

"Well, there aren't any signs of trauma to the body. Until I perform the autopsy, I won't know anything," she rambled off.

"Emily," I croaked out.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She's not just a body, her name is Emily," I gritted out. "She worked here, show her some fucking respect, Dr. Matthews."

"I apologize," she replied, not really sounding all that sorry. Pushing off the door frame, she came over to the table, removing the sheet completely off Emily's body, leaving her laying before us naked. Picking up her left hand, she gestured to her smooth, russet skin. "It doesn't appear she fought back."

"She trusted them," I murmured, shaking my head.

"Perhaps." Alexis shrugged her shoulders. "I'll do the autopsy in the morning-"

"Do it now," I demanded.

"Agent Swan, unfortunately, I have two other bodies ahead of hers," she blabbered, gesturing to to the tables behind her.

"I don't give a flying fuck about them," I hissed, throwing my hands up. "Emily is top priority."

"Look, I understand, but-"

"There are no buts," I snarled. "We take care of family first, and, goddamn it, Emily's fucking family!"

Before she could respond, someone cleared their throat behind us. Spinning around, I found Peter standing in the doorway, arms folded in front of him, and rage covering his face. "Dr. Matthews, please move Emily to the top of your list." Shifting his gaze to me, his expression hardened, if possible. "Agent Swan, meet me in my office."

"Why?" I shouldn't challenge him, knowing I couldn't trust him, but right now, I didn't really give a fuck. I'd lost any respect I'd had for him.

"Because I am your boss," he snapped. "Now, get your ass to my office now!"

"Yes, Director." Sparing Emily one last glance, I walked past him, stepping into the elevator. As the door slid closed, I saw Peter walk over to Alexis, gesturing back toward me. Could it be possible they were working together?

Bypassing his assistant, I let myself into his office, flopping down into one of the dark, brown leather chairs in front of his desk. The large room was dark and rustic. His walls were lined with shelves, filled to the brim with thick, leather bound books. Sitting on top of his desk were a couple of pictures of his wife and two children. Reaching over and picking it up, I wondered if they knew he'd crossed over to the other side.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't touch my stuff," he muttered, walking into his office and closing the door behind him.

Tugging the photo out of my hand, he placed it back on is desk and sat down. For several minutes, we simply sat there, staring each other down. Peter had never hidden his distaste with my choice to leave the FBI and go to work at the Academy, but never once had I suspected him to be shady. At least until now. Now, I didn't know what to think of him.

"I don't know what your problem is, Agent Swan," placing heavy emphasize on my name, "but I'm not going to tolerate your insolence any longer."

Leaning back, he waited for me to speak, to defend my actions. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on his, reading his body language. He was calm, almost too calm considering one of his employees had been murdered in his backyard. His appearance was nearly flawless; his dark suit pressed and crisp, his blond hair combed and neat.

"Are you trying to get me to fire you?" he sighed, leaning up and placing his elbows on his desk.

"No," I replied.

"I've been patient with you, Bella," he started, "but I've about reached my limit."

"Is that right, Director?" I groused.

"Why are you calling me Director?" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "It's Peter."

"Because I don't trust you anymore," I admitted. "Where were you this morning?"

"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow. "Are you asking for my alibi?"

"Yes."

Shaking his head, Peter stood up and moved over to his window, placing one hand on the frame. "Not that I owe you any explanation, Agent Swan, but I was at Flynn's school this morning. They were having their annual book fair, and today was Donuts with Dad."

"And, of course, there would be people who can verify that, right?" I asked.

Turning toward me, his eyes widened. "Do they need to?"

"Yes," I responded. "Are you extorting money from the FBI?"

"WHAT?" he exclaimed, shock pouring of off of him.

"Are you extorting money from the FBI?" I repeated. "Did you order the attacks on Garrett and Kate? Did you kill Emily?"

"I can't believe you of all people would think I'm capable of doing anything of the sort!" he bellowed.

"Tell me what I should think when I have proof that you're allocating extra funds to various departments," I snapped, standing up. "Did you kill Emily?"

"NO!" he roared. "And you don't know what in the hell you are talking about, either."

"Don't lie to me," I yelled. "I've had it with people lying to me, Director."

Taking a deep breath, Peter moved over to his desk, pulling open the bottom, left hand drawer on his desk. Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he unlocked a metal firesafe box, pulling out a red folder, and placing it on his desk. Sitting back in his chair, he sighed. "Before you go around accusing me of murder, you really should have all your facts straight, Agent Swan," he grumbled. "What I am about to show you stays between us, do you understand? Nobody else can know about this, only Edward and Carlisle."

"I don't keep secrets from my team," I lied. I kept too much from them.

"Well, we know that's a bunch of shit," he snarked. "It's in their best interest not to know, Agent Swan."

"Hmm, guess, I'll be the judge of that," I muttered.

With a quick nod, he slid the red folder across his desk, before leaning back with his hands folded in his lap. Picking the folder up, I took a deep breath and flipped it open. Stamped across the first page were the words "The Program." Flipping to the next page, I gasped, finding a picture of Lili. Except, it wasn't the Lili I remembered. She was older, with short red hair and dark, blue/gray eyes.

"Is she dead?" I choked out.

"No," he replied.

"Where is she?" I asked, shifting my eyes up to his.

"I don't know," he sighed. "She went off grid two months ago."

"Then how can you be sure she isn't dead?" I sneered.

"Because she sent me a message," he explained, gesturing to the folder. Flipping to the next page, I could a note tucked in that read 'Wide are the oceans, deep are the seas. Narrow are the valleys in between.'

"Lilian had just came out of the academy when we took interest in her," he went on to say.

"Who are we?" I pressed. "You need to explain what the hell is going on here, Director."

Pushing away from his desk, he stood up and began pacing. "The Program is basically an internal agency of FBI."

"You're Internal Affairs?" I snorted.

"No." He looked over at me. "We're bigger than IA." Before I could respond, he continued, "The Program was formed in 1908, officially anyway. Rumor has it that we've been in existence since the early 1800's, but who knows if that's actually true."

"I don't need a history lesson," I snarked. "I need to know what the fuck is going on."

Glaring at me, he shook his head. "Fine. I can only tell you what I know, which isn't a lot." Running a hand through his blond hair, he sighed. "When we brought Lilian into The Program, we set her base of operations in the south, Texas to be exact."

"Why there?" I pressed.

"Have you ever heard of Riley Biers?"

"Sure." I shrugged my shoulders. "His family is big in the Oil Industry."

"True," he nodded, "but they also control more than sixty percent of the diamond industry, too."

"Okay, so what does that have to do with this so called The Program?"

"Nearly a year ago, Riley Biers was kidnapped on his way back from a business trip in Columbia. At the time, his captor contacted the family and demanded five million dollars for his return. The family gladly paid, but Riley Biers was never seen again. The field office in Houston investigated, but declared him dead, assuming that he'd been killed and disposed of."

"But that's not the truth, is it?"

Hesitating for a moment, he shook his head. "The Program, Lilian's team, felt something was off. The Agents who handled his case were too eager to close the investigation. Not knowing who they could trust, they began their search." Standing up, Peter walked over to his wet bar, pouring himself a drink. "Want one?"

"No, sir," I muttered.

Taking a deep draw of his Scotch, he turned, leaning against the oak cabinet behind him. "Lilian and her team managed to follow the money to Columbia, but what they found there..." Trailing off, he shook his head. "What they found there turned out to be worse than they'd ever dreamed."

"What did they find?" I leaned forward.

"Children," he choked out, covering his mouth. "Three dozen children locked away. The oldest was only twelve, the youngest barely two. They'd been starved, abused in every way you can imagine. When Lilian's team found them, they'd been alone for four days. It was the largest child trafficking ring ever discovered."

"What happened to the children?"

"Three of them, two boys and a little girl, died before they could get them to the hospital. Most of the others will have long term effects due to malnutrition and the abuse they suffered at the hands of their captors. The younger ones were placed with foster families, but the majority of the older kids were sent to orphanages."

"Where are their parents?" I demanded.

"They were dead," he replied.

"How did dozens of children get taken without anybody realizing what the fuck was going on?" I exclaimed.

"Oh, they knew," he griped. "Lilian found proof that the Colombian Government knew, and helped financed the operation, but when she presented to the FBI, she was told they'd handle it. A week later, she disappeared, along with the rest of her team."

"I don't understand," I said, standing up. "What does her investigation have to do with budget reports indicating that you're funneling money through the FBI?"

"Because I am," he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "How else do you think The Program gets it funding? I think the better question, Agent Swan, is why Lilian sent you those reports and what do they have to do with her disappearance?"

"And, of course, you have no idea, right?"

Peter frowned, setting his empty glass down. "I don't. I wish like hell I did, but I'm just as confused as you are."

Running hand over my face, and through my hair, I sighed. "I want to believe you, Director, but right now, everything is pointing in your direction."

"Bella," he began, putting his hand over his heart, "I would never hurt Lilian. I brought her into The Program. I trained her myself."

"Director," I muttered, shaking my head.

"It's Peter, Bella," he whispered.

I lifted my eyes to his. "Peter, I need to know everything, and I do mean everything, if I am going to find Lili and figure out what the hell is going on. Now, are you going to be a problem?"

"No," he replied, quickly.

Nodding, I turned and walked over to the door. "Go home and pack, Peter. We're heading to Texas."

**Thank you for all the reviews. I am so sorry for the delay on this chapter, but real life has been a bitch in so many ways. Please be patient with me as I begin to unravel what's going on here.**


	14. Chapter 14

Leaving him little choice in the matter, I opened the door to his office, heading toward the elevator. Cursing under his breath, Peter pushed his chair away from his desk and followed. The time for playing on the sidelines was over. Now, he'd have to prove himself to be a part of our team. Stepping into the elevator, we rode in silence, letting the tension build between us. I wasn't convinced I could actually trust Peter, seeing as he'd lied to non-stop over the last however many years, but something inside of me told me he was worth my trust. I hoped I could at least.

When we got to the third floor, we found Carlisle sitting at my desk with Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela at theirs. Shifting my eyes over to Garrett's empty desk, I wondered why Lili sent everything to him and not me or Carlisle, even Peter. None of this made sense to me. Clearing my throat, I drew everyone's attention, struggling to deal with their probing eyes.

"Edward, Carlisle, Peter, and I are tracking down a new lead and will be out of pocket for awhile," I began, holding my hand up before anyone could protest. "Emmett, I need you and Jasper to comb through the tapes from security, see if you can figure out who got to Emily. Ben, contact Devin Nelson at this number, and tell him that you need his help. He'll get you access so that you and Angela can process everything we found in Emily's lab." Scribbling down her number, I placed it on the edge of his desk. "Tell him I sent you."

"Okay," he replied, slowly.

Shifting my gaze between all of them, I could tell they doubted not only me, but whether or not they should listen to me. Placing my hands on my hops, I took a deep breath. "Look, I get it. All of you think I've gone a bit crazy. Maybe I have, but once upon a time, you trusted my instincts. Now, I'm asking you to trust in me again. After everything that I've been through, I think I deserve that much."

"Trust goes both ways, Swan," groused Emmett, leaning back in his seat.

"I know it does," I admitted. "Nobody outside of this room can be trusted with anything more than we're working on a case. I know I'm asking a lot, but please, trust me."

"If you're telling us that whatever, or wherever you're going will help us find the bastards who hurt Garrett and Kate," stated Jasper, standing up, "then we'll trust you. Just remember that even though it's hard, we've got your back."

"I know," I murmured, taking a deep breath. "Keep my sisters safe and tell them...well, tell them that I love them."

Nodding, Jasper came over, kissing my forehead. "We promise. Be safe, Bella, they need you more than you think they do. We all need you."

Before I could respond, he was on his way to the elevator. Shifting my eyes to Emmett, I just stood there. He was different. After I'd been found, he and I grew closer, both struggling with the choice to come back to the FBI. Of course, he managed to work through his fears, while I'd allowed mine to overwhelm me. Stronger and braver than me in so many ways, I'd always counted on having him by my side, but now, he didn't want anything to do with me.

"Be careful, Swan," he muttered, dropping his gaze from mine.

"I will," I replied, hearing the tremor in my words. Rushing over to where Jasper waited for him, Emmett released a harsh breath. "Emmett!"

Pausing, he looked back at me. "What?"

My lips trembled. "Don't give up on me."

Bringing a hand up to his mouth, he blinked several times. "I'm not, Bella, just don't quit on us."

"I won't," I whispered.

Letting his hand drop to his side, he stepped into the elevator with Jasper. Turning back to Peter, Carlisle, and Edward, I hoped that I hadn't made a mistake by not insisting that we fully brief the rest of the team with the information Peter had given me. Secrets and lies had almost torn us apart on more than one occasion, and we'd been lucky enough to stick together.

Taking a deep breath, I looked between Peter and Carlisle. "We'll meet you at the beach house in thirty, don't be late, and make sure you're not being followed."

"Bella, I can't just take off," muttered Peter. Clenching my jaw together, I glared at him. "Charlotte-"

"No," I said, interrupting him. "Don't use her as your excuse. You are coming with us, Director, whether you like it or not. You've made a mess out of everything, and you are going to help us clean it up."

"Call me Peter, Bella," he gritted. "Fine, I'll go, but you don't know what you are asking."

Shifting my eyes to Edward, I replied, "No, I know exactly what I'm asking." Looking away from my husband, I met Peter's heated gaze. "Believe it or not, Director, I'm not superwoman. You've got thirty minutes, or I'm bringing my wrath down on your head. Pick a side, and choose wisely."

Turning away from all of them, I walked to the stairs, taking them two at a time. Throwing open the doors to the lobby, I released the breath I'd been holding onto since I left them standing there. Either they'd follow, trusting that my instincts were right, or they'd stay up there, drawing a line between me and them. I hoped for the first, but expected the latter. I'd let them down one too many times. Bustling through the set of double glass doors, I tilted my head back, allowing the drizzle to wash over me.

Hearing the doors open behind me, I looked over my shoulder, finding Edward, Carlisle, and Peter standing there. Giving me a small smile and nod, Carlisle rushed over to his car, speeding out of the parking lot. Shifting my eyes over to Peter, I waited for him to make his move. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he sighed, turning toward where he'd parked this morning. He muttered under his breath about how I was costing him everything, but I didn't pay him any attention. I'd give my body, my mental health, and nearly my life for the Bureau, he could sacrifice a little, too. They all could.

"We should go," Edward said, heading toward the car. Wrapping my arms around myself, I followed him.

The drive back to the beach house was filled with awkward silence and tense anticipation. Our families wouldn't be understanding over our sudden trip, not after the last mission we went on. While things had been better, almost normal, between us, there was still this underlining tension between us and them. Truthfully, I'd been avoiding them as much as possible since my return to the Bureau. No reason to rehash old arguments about how I wasn't strong enough to do my job.

Parking the car in his spot, Edward cut the engine, but didn't climb out of the car. His fingers curled around the leather steering wheel, his eyes locked on something in front of him. My fingers twitched, almost moving on their own to take his hand in mine, my lips parting and the urge to beg him to never stop loving me overwhelmed me. But instead of reaching out for him, or letting the words from my tongue, I sat there, slowly dying on the inside.

Unable to take the silent treatment, I threw my door open, leaving him sitting there. However, I walked past the house, stumbling through the sand, before stopping at the edge of the water. Placing my hand on my chest, I traced the red, angry scars embedded deep into my skin. Soaring over the open water, a seagull screeched.

_"Agent Swan, one day, I'm gonna feel you wrapped around me." Sliding his hands around my trembling body, he let them rest with one just under my breast and the other above the top of my pants. "I bet your pussy feels so good."_

Shaking my head, I stifled my whimper, forcing myself out of the endless tortures of my mind. I'd made it out of that shack, gotten away from Demetri Romanoff. I was survivor, a goddamn survivor. Digging my nails into my flesh, I repeated those three words to myself. I desperately wanted to be a survivor.

"I used to hate the ocean," Edward muttered, coming up behind me. I didn't dare look back at him, knowing if I did, I'd break down. I needed him, so much more than he'd every really understand, yet I couldn't seem to tell him. "Baby, talk to me!"

"What do you want me to say?" I groused, looking over my shoulder at him. "I'm fucking everything up, but I don't know how to make it better!"

"You don't have to do it alone," he insisted, reaching out and taking my hand. Turning my body, I faced him. "All I'm asking is that you let me in and talk to me. I can't read your mind, baby."

Closing my eyes, I tried to keep my tears back. I was tired of crying. "You don't want to hear what I think."

"Yes, I do," he argued, tilting my head up. Opening my eyes, I searched his, seeking any sign of the lie. There wasn't one. "Baby, I love you. If you don't talk to me, I can't help."

"I love you, too," I whispered. "I'm angry that I'm back with the FBI, yet I'm pissed that I left in the first place. There's all this pressure resting on my shoulders, but everyone walks on eggshells around me. I'm afraid that with every mistake I make that I'm just pushing everyone away. They're more than just my team, Edward, they're a part of me."

"Baby, I know," he murmured, brushing the tears off my face as he stepped closer.

Leaning into his hand, I closed my eyes. "I don't want to lose you, not after everything we've fought against."

"Look at me," he ordered. Opening my eyes, I found him just inches away, love pouring off of him. "You and I are going to be together forever. I won't let you push me away, baby."

"But this morning..." I huffed feeling frustrated.

"This morning, all I wanted was to hold my wife in my arms, to feel her skin against mine, but it felt like you were pushing me away. I'm not going to lie, Bella, it hurts. When you're not here in my arms, my heart races and it hurts." Taking a deep breath, Edward shuddered, almost like he got caught in a terrible memory. "I've almost lost you twice, just the thought of you gone..."

"Edward," I whispered, placing my hand on his chest. "I'm sorry, I've been a crazy, manic bitch."

"I've been an insensitive asshole," he replied with a chuckle.

Smiling, I said, "When this is over, when we've finally taken...whoever is behind all of this down, you and I are going away for a few days."

"Just us?" He asked, grinning. I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat under his gaze. "I'm holding you to your word, Mrs. Mason."

"I hope so, Mr. Mason," I murmured. "Just give up on me until then, okay? You're the only person who makes me safe."

"I'm never giving up on you, baby," he declared, stroking my cheek. "Ever."

With a chaste kiss, Edward and I headed toward the house, knowing Peter and Carlisle would be here any minute. When I stepped onto the porch, I noticed a dark SUV parked down the street; a government issued vehicle based on the license plate. The window tints were too dark for me to get a glimpse inside, but it didn't bode well to me. Sharing a look with Edward, we stepped inside. He headed straight into our bedroom to grab our bags, while I went into the office, peeling the blinds open just enough to peek out the window. The SUV was gone. Who'd been watching us? Just one more question to toss in with the rest.

Edward walked into the office with our to-go bags in one hand, his cell phone in the other. "Do I need to call and arrange for a new meeting place?"

"No," I told him, gathering my laptop and shoving it into my leather case. Adding the various software I'd designed to encrypt, and decrypt files, I sighed. "We need to leave sooner, rather than later. We'll just have to be extra careful on our way out that we aren't being followed."

"And where exactly are we going?" Carlisle asked.

Looking up, I found him and Peter in the doorway to our office, a black to-go bag in each of their hands. Dropping my eyes from his, I replied, "We'll tell you on the way. Grab the books."

With a nod, he and Edward gathered the six books we'd snagged from Garrett's house, and we headed outside. I made sure the door was locked and looked around, searching for any sign of who'd be watching for us. I didn't see any, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that we were being spied on. Trying to push off the uneasiness, I snatched the keys from Carlisle's hand, and walked around to the driver's seat of his car.

"Guess that means I'm not driving," he snarked.

"I've seen you trying to be covert, Car," I snickered, opening the door. "You know, you can't drive as well as me."

"If you destroy my car, Bell, I'll fucking kick your ass," he threatened. Tossing our bags into the trunk, Edward and Peter laughed, aggravating him even more. "It's not funny!"

"Carlisle, man, we all know you can't kick her ass," Edward claimed, laughing even harder. "You might as well just give up now."

"Yeah, whatever," he muttered, climbing into the passenger seat.

With a smirk, I slid in behind the wheel, adjusting the seat and mirrors. Once Peter and Edward were settled in the back, I pulled out of the driveway. Searching for any sign that anyone was following, my shoulders ached from the tension building there. Who knows how long they'd been planted outside of mine and Edward's house, or even who they were? With each new question, the danger level increased for all of us.

"Director, why don't you fill them in?" I suggested, taking a sharp left. "And don't sugar coat anything. They need to know everything, even the parts you're ashamed of."

"I am not ashamed, Bella," he snarked. "And I've asked you to call me Peter a dozen times."

"Well, Director," I started, "I don't really trust you right now, so until you've earned that back, I think I will call you whatever I fucking want."

I took a fast right, causing Carlisle to grab onto the door for support. "Fuck, Bell!"

"Calm down, Car," I scoffed. Looking at Peter through the rear view mirror, I lifted an eyebrow. "Director?"

"Fine," he gritted.

While Peter started laying out everything he'd told me in his office, I worked on getting us out of Seattle without being followed. Maybe I was being paranoid, but after seeing a government issued vehicle parked just outside of our house, I knew we had to be even more careful. As we headed onto the highway toward the Idaho border, I worried about leaving the rest of our team behind. Sliding my sunglasses off the top of my head, I tried to hide the fear I knew they''d be able to see.

"So, you've just been sitting on this information for weeks, Director?" Carlisle asked, his jaw clenched tight.

"Yes, but I couldn't tell you," admitted Peter, making yet another excuse.

Turning in his seat, Carlisle glared at him. "You chose not to tell us and because of that, we've been going into this blind. Garrett and Kate nearly lost their lives because of whatever Lili got herself into. Instead of telling us, you let us wander mindlessly. I hope you can live with your decision, Director, it might have cost some very good people their lives."

"Believe me, I know, Carlisle," grumbled Peter, shifting his gaze out the window. "Don't think I've not thought about what I've cost everybody."

"Welcome to the club," I murmured, switching lanes and passing a forest green mini-van.

In the backseat, two young boys, maybe eight or nine years old, were hitting each other with two small pillows. In the front, a woman who I assumed to be there mother, had turned and was yelling at them, but the boys ignored her. Shaking my head, I shifted my attention to Edward in the rear view mirror. With his head laying back, he had his eyes closed, an almost peaceful expression on his face. Pressing the gas pedal down further, I hoped this little road trip would give us the answers we needed to put whoever masterminded all of this behind bars where they belonged.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry for the delay, but my FAGE story took hold of me and, well, yeah. **


	15. Chapter 15

Early the next morning, I slipped out of the cheap motel room we'd rented late last night, closing the door behind me. We'd driven well into the night, before finally deciding that we needed to find a place to stay. I wasn't even sure where we were: someplace in Utah, I think. Maybe close to Salt Lake City.

Running my fingers through my hair, I stepped out into the parking lot, taking in my surroundings. We were right off the highway, but the traffic had been quiet since we pulled in last night. There were only two other cars in the parking lot: a white, beat up pick up truck by the office, and a red compact car parked clear on the other end.

The air was cool, moist from the drizzling rain that followed us from the Northwest. Our journey toward Texas hadn't been pleasant. Carlisle had glowered at Peter, muttering under his breath about being betrayed and not knowing who to trust. I didn't disagree with him. Peter had held back pertinent information that would have lead us toward Lili before Emily paid the price. He'd have to do a lot of work to earn our trust or respect back.

Edward had been quiet during the trip. Every time I looked at him through the rear-view mirror, he'd give me a small smile before looking away. There was still so much we needed to talk about, insecurities that I needed to let him in on, but the timing hadn't been right for us. Like always, the job came first. I feared it always would.

Moving to the back of Carlisle's car, I sat on the trunk, knowing it'd piss him off. It wouldn't be the first time and I doubt it'd be the last, either. Pulling my cell phone out of my back pocket, I scrolled through my contacts list, stopping on Alice before moving on to Rose. I hadn't talked to my sisters much over the last few weeks. Between the demands of the job and my steady breakdown, I'd pushed them both away once again, but I wasn't sure why. Perhaps the fear of abandonment caused me to lash out at them instead; or maybe that was just my excuse for not wanting to own up to my own mistakes.

"Are you going to call them?"

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I tried to be discrete and wipe away the tears resting on my cheeks. It wasn't the first time Carlisle had seen me cry and, once again, it probably wouldn't be the last. "No, I'm sure they're at work, or taking care of the boys."

"Hmm." He leaned against the car, draping his arm across my legs. I brought my hand up, running my fingers through his hair. "That feels good."

"You always loved it when I'd do this. Usually after a long day at the station."

"Everyday was a long day there," he muttered, leaning into my hand.

"Do you ever miss it?" I asked, sliding my arm around him.

Carlisle sighed. "No. New York was never my home, Bell. You were the only part of the city that I missed. Still do."

"I'm right here," I whispered, pressing my forehead against the back of his.

"Are you?" he countered. "Doesn't feel like you've really been here lately."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."

I closed my eyes, struggling to hold back the tears. "Did you ever love me, Car?"

"Yes," he murmured, tightening his arm around my legs. "I still do, but our love wasn't enough. You know that."

"I do," I sniffled. "Besides, you have Esme and the girls."

"And you have Edward." I tensed. "Bell, you do have Edward."

"Will I after this case is done?" I groused, leaning away from him.

Carlisle stood up, turning so that he was facing me. Placing his hands on my knees, he smiled, or tried to at least. "You and Edward are going through a rough patch, but you'll get through it."

"Car," I whimpered, clutching at the front of his t-shirt. "I need him so much. Just the thought of not having him here scares me more than I want to admit."

"I need you, too." I spun around, finding Edward standing at the front of the car. Wearing the dark sweats and t-shirt he'd changed into when we got to the motel, it was clear that he'd just stumbled out of bed.

"I'll, um, just go somewhere else." Carlisle cleared his throat before walking past Edward, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. I slid off the back of the car, turning so that I was facing my husband.

"You're pushing me away, but, baby, I'm holding on for dear life," Edward said.

"I'm not trying to push you away," I argued, shaking my head. "I'm just trying to get through one day to the next. Everyone's telling me to just let it go and move on, but every time I close my eyes, Edward, I'm back in that shack with those monsters."

"Bella, love, you're not," he insisted, taking two steps toward me. My heart began to race. "You're standing in front of me, looking more beautiful than I remember."

"Remember from when?" My skin burned under his penetrating stare.

"My dreams." He smiled, stepping even closer. "The memories of us dancing on the beach, or making love in the sand."

"Edward," I breathed, feeling him reach up and stroke my cheek.

"Come back to me, baby," he pleaded in a soft whisper. "I need you so much."

"I'm here." My fingers curved around the front of his shirt, holding onto him like my life depended on him.

"Your soul is miles away," he replied, peppering my neck with kisses.

"Don't leave me," I moaned. His lips were leaving a fiery wake behind.

"Never," he growled, sending a shiver through me.

A throat cleared behind him, causing Edward to jump back. Looking past him, I saw Peter leaning against the entry to our room. He had an aggravated expression on his face, his arms folded defensively in front of him. Clenching my jaw together, I glared at him: first for interrupting the two of us, and then for being a general pain in my ass.

"What's the problem, Director?" I snarked, lifting an eyebrow at him.

"Nothing, Agent Swan," he grumbled, tearing his eyes away from mine. "I'm hungry and I'd like to call my wife, so maybe you could move your ass."

Shaking me head, I walked back into our room, brushing Peter's shoulder with mine. "If you'd been honest with us, Director, you'd be home with her right now. Instead, we're cleaning up your mess and, goddamn it, you're going to help. Stop the fucking whining before I plant your ass on the ground. I've had my fill of whiny bitches."

"You know I could fire you skinny ass for talking to me like that," he barked after me.

With a smirk, I picked up my bag, stopping in front of the bathroom door. Looking back at him over my shoulder, I scoffed. "Go ahead, Director. Then you can explain why you deliberately keep vital information from us that could aid in our investigation. I can assure you that even your bosses would wonder just what else you're hiding from us."

"Nothing," he insisted, angling his body toward me. "I swear, I've told you everything I know, Bella."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you, Peter," I spat, dropping my bag inside the bathroom. "You could have saved us weeks of dead ends, but you chose to keep quiet."

"I didn't have a choice," he hissed, stomping across the room to me. Edward and Carlisle stepped inside the room, closing the door behind them. "I already violated a dozen bylaws by telling you everything."

"Oh, boo fucking hoo," I snarled. "Garrett and Kate almost lost their lives because of whatever you, Lili, and The Program got them involved in. Now, you're standing here whining because you actually have do some work?"

"That's rich coming from you," he snapped. "You've done nothing, but bitch and complain about how unfair it is that you're back. Newsflash, sweetheart, you're not the most important person here."

Without thinking, I reared back, slamming my fist into his jaw. Peter stumbled back, grabbing his face and yelling, "Fuck."

"Don't you ever talk to me like that," I snarled, launching myself at him again. Edward was behind me in a flash, pulling me back against the wall, while Carlisle catapulted over one of the beds so he could stand between us. "You have no idea what I went through for this team and the Bureau, or what I still go through. Everyone's so quick to tell me to let it all fucking go and just deal. When was the last time you woke yourself up screaming with your hands clenched so tightly, you bled?"

Silence for all three of them. Edward lowered his arms.

"We're trained to tell our victims that the bad guys can't hurt them once we put them away. That's bullshit." My voice cracked. With a shaking hand, I brought my fingers up to my head. "They live in here. They taunt me every moment of the day, torturing me through the night. They take away my family, my friends, my identity."

Fighting off the urge to hide, I took a deep breath.

"I didn't want to leave the Bureau, but I knew that I couldn't stay and not risk everything I valued. I'm still not sure I should have come back now, but I did, and I'm trying like hell to hang on to the small thread of sanity that I have left. I've alienated my sisters, my team, and my husband," I choked out, keeping my eyes locked on Peter's. Edward reached up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, pulling me against his body.

"Bella, I..." Peter shook his head, letting his words die in his throat.

"Don't worry about it, Director," I quipped, reluctantly pulling myself out of Edward's embrace. "I'll put my big girl panties on so I don't make your guilt any worse than it already is."

Wrapping my arms around myself, I walked into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind me. I barely got the water on before the tears I'd been struggling to hold back, fell down my face. Stripping off my clothes, I stepped into the shower, letting the water wash all evidence my weakness away. Being weak had always been a hardship for me, but showing that weakness in front of the people I cared the most about, nearly gutted me. Especially Edward. I needed him to think of me as a strong woman, someone deserving of his love. Right now, I didn't feel that I was.

"Bella, love, are you okay?" Edward asked, knocking on the door.

"I'm fine," I replied, the simple words trembling through my lips. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," he replied.

Using the complimentary shampoo and conditioner the motel offered, I washed my hair, using the bar soap over my body. Turning off the water, I grabbed a white, terry towel and dried off before hanging it over the shower rod and stepping out. I dug through my bag, pulling out a pair of panties, a new bra, my favorite NYPD t-shirt. It had been Carlisle's, one of the few things he left behind. Edward never had a problem with me wearing it. He understood that mine and Carlisle's relationship was more than friends, but less than lovers. Just one more reason why I loved Edward: he understood that I needed him and Carlisle in my life.

Slipping them on, I added a pair of black yoga pants. Stuffing my discarded clothes into my bag, I walked out of the bathroom, finding Edward sitting on the edge of the bed we'd shared last night, elbows resting on his knees and his face buried in his hand.

"Hey," I muttered, causing him to look up at me. Pain flashed in his eyes. "Edward, I..."

"I know, and it's okay," he said, standing up. Crossing the room, he cupped my face in his hands. "But I 'm not giving up that one day, you and I will be better than just okay."

"I want that, more than you know."

"Good, then there's hope." He smiled before brushing his lips against mine. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Leaving me breathless, Edward released my face and walked into the bathroom, grabbing his own bag from just outside the door. While he showered, I threw the blankets from the make-shift bed that Peter insisted on making when he found out that we were only renting one room for the night. For some reason, he didn't think that he and Carlisle should share a bed.

Grabbing my bag off the floor, I walked out the room, finding Peter and Carlisle leaning against the back of the car. They both turned and looked at me. Peter held a plastic bag of ice against his jaw, his eyes widening when he saw me. Dropping the bag from his jaw, he spun on his heel and walked past me. A moment later, I heard the door to our room slam shut.

"You know," started Carlisle, "you're lucky you still have a job after that move."

"Yep," I jibed. I pushed him off the back of the car, popping the trunk, and tossing my bag inside.

Carlisle laughed, walking toward our room. "It's nice to see the bitch is still in there somewhere."

I headed over to the office and letting the guy know we'd leave the other key in the room when we left. He leered at me, running his thick fingers through his greasy hair. Stifling the urge to reach across the counter and slam his head down, teaching him about gawking at women, I paid the second half of our bill and left him my key. I was fairly sure he was harmless, just creepy.

Edward was leaning against the back of the car, his arms crossed on front of him and his sunglasses pulled over his eyes. Fuck, he was one devastatingly, handsome man.

"They should be ready soon," he said, stepping away so I could unlock the trunk for him. "Peter was going to call Charlotte first, though."

"Okay," I replied, leaving the trunk up so that Peter and Carlisle could put their stuff in when they came out. Sitting on the bumper, I stretched my legs out. "I figure we have about eighteen hours or so till Houston. We should get there late tonight."

"Probably," he agreed, sitting next to me. "Where do we start?"

"Wherever Lili lived. Maybe she left us something that will lead us to her."

My cell phone rang in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I saw that Emmett was calling. Taking a deep breath, I flipped it open. "What?"

"Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine," he grumbled. I could almost feel him glaring at me.

"Sorry, was I supposed to be happier?" I bit back.

"No, I suppose you weren't," he muttered. "I'm sending you a picture we got off the tapes. Recognize him?"

"Hang on." Lowering the phone, I opened the message, finding a picture of the blond guy I chased down at the hospital. Swallowing against the lump of guilt in my throat, I brought the phone back up to my ear. "Yeah, he's the same one from the hospital."

"Thought he might be," Emmett said, clearing his throat. "We're running a search, trying to see if we come up with any matches, but I don't think we will. Anyone who has the balls to stroll into the FBI and..."

"Keep searching. Maybe we'll get lucky," I murmured. "Is Rose okay?"

"You should call and ask her yourself, Swan," he griped, before hanging up on me.

Letting my arm fall to my side, I snapped the phone closed, stifling the scream of frustration that filled my lungs. Everyone was so quick to point out everything I did wrong, but never once, did they try to see how hard I was fighting just to be able to take a breath.

Running my fingers through my damp hair, I turned back to Edward, trying my hardest to smile. "Emmett and Jasper got a picture of our number one bad guy. They're running it to see if they get a match, but so far nothing."

Edward nodded, shoving his hands into his back pockets. "And Rose? How is she?"

I shrugged my shoulders, dropping my eyes from his. "Okay."

"Hmm, I'm sure she is."

The door to our room opened, pulling our attention over to Carlisle and Peter, whose jaw was red and swollen. Clearing my throat, I dug the keys out of my back pocket and walked around to the driver's seat. "Hurry the fuck up. We have a lot of road to cover."

Carlisle and Peter tossed their luggage in the trunk while I slid into behind the wheel. They settled in the backseat and Edward rode shotgun. Buckling my seat belt, I pulled out of the parking lot, heading back onto the highway, praying that we'd find what we were looking for.

**Thank you for all the reviews:) Hope you all Happy and Safe New Years!**


	16. Chapter 16

By the time we got to Houston, we were all in a bad mood. Peter had glared a hole in the back of my head, while I had to clench my hand into a fist more than once to stop myself from hitting him again. Every time I thought about everything that he'd cost us, I felt my rage build: weeks of chasing false leads, energy trying to make sense of all of it, and Emily. Losing her gutted me the most. She should never been in harm's way. For that, I'd never forgive Peter for lying to us.

But as angry as I was, I knew it wasn't helping. My anger only hindered me from being able to move away from the pain that still haunted me. I'd never fully escape the memories that tormented me, but I could choose whether or not I let them control me. Somehow, I needed to find a way to move on, if not for my sake, for Edward's. I couldn't lose him, not when I'd fought so hard to find my way back to him.

Perched up at the small circular table in our hotel room, I poured over the books that Lili had sent Garrett. The answer to everything was in there somewhere, but I couldn't understand what I was looking for. The six books were based in a small town where the local government was experimenting, using mind control techniques, on the children who lived there. It was a classic tale of The Stepford Wives, only focusing around children instead of married housewives.

"What are you doing up so early?" Edward asked his voice groggy. I looked over at him. He was sprawled out on his stomach, the crisp white sheet pooling around his hips. Propping himself up on his elbow, he ran a hand through his hair. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Just after six," I murmured. We'd arrived late the night before or maybe early this morning. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?" Shifting my eyes away from his, I nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Edward sighed, but didn't say anything. My demons were my cross to bear and I didn't want him to worry, at least any more than he already did. "Hey, listen to this." I flipped back a few pages in the book I'd been reading, the third in the series, and began to read, "The process seemed simple; yet when the first child died on his table, Dr. Harrison knew the public would be outraged if they'd found out about his work. A sinister plan began to form. Children went missing every day and nobody ever knew where they went. Perhaps, the evidence of his failure wouldn't be hard to hide. Besides, the children in his study weren't missed by anyone important. They were an easy prey, lost little lambs just waiting for a wolf to pick them off."

"That's…fucking creepy," Edward muttered, sitting up on the side of the bed.

"No shit," I scoffed. "The whole series read like this, though. The villain, this Dr. Harrison, starts snatching kids off the street so that he can experiment on them. For years, nobody notices until he takes the wrong child, the son of a politician. The family hires a private investigator to find their child, but by the time she finds him, he's already been transformed into this perfect human being."

"And this Lili person wrote these?" he wondered, reaching across me and picking up book one in the series.

"It would seem so." I set my feet on the floor, turning in my seat so that I faced him. "In the first book, the small town had been riddle with violence from the gangs and delinquent behavior. They'd lost control of the youth and lived in constant fear. Dr. Harrison comes sweeping into town with promises to cure their children of their deviant ways. Along with his partner, Dr. Lynch, they become heroes to the townspeople. However, in the second book, people start questioning their technique." Picking up the second book, I flipped through to page sixty-four and read, "Today, three more boys were found dead in their homes from apparent suicides. The gaping wounds in their heads suggested they'd shot themselves, but no evidence could be found that supported the coroner's theory. A total of seven dead and the towns starting to wonder if they'd made the right choice after all. Were the deaths of their futures the ultimate price for their sins?" I dropped the book back on the table and shook my head. "These don't read like fiction to me, Edward. They read like case reports."

"You can't be suggesting that someone out there is actually trying to turn troubled kids into little robots."

"Of course I'm not. However, I am saying that it's possible that Lili stumbled across a serial killer who believes that he is doing people a favor by 'fixing' these kids," I replied.

Edward inhaled a sharp breath, running his hand over his face and through his hair. "Wow, this is some messed up shit, baby."

"I know," I agreed. "In the third book, the investigator stumbles onto Dr. Harrison's past. She talks about how he'd been a certified genius, but his family was too poor to send him to the right schools. As a child, his neighbors described him as being emotionless and coldhearted. They often found him in the basement of their apartment building, but he'd never talk about what he did in there. Edward, I think he was sociopath."

"You mean a psychopath?"

I smiled. "No, I mean a sociopath. He's manipulative and conning. He has a grandiose sense of himself; he feels entitled to have things his way. He's a pathological liar, but even he believes the bullshit he's spouting. He doesn't show remorse or guilt. He's shallow and incapable of love. If we delved into his past, I'm sure we'd find irresponsible or promiscuous behavior." While I spoke, Edward stared at me with a smirk resting on his lips. "What?"

"Baby, when you start talking all smart and shit, it makes me so fucking horny," he groaned, lifting me out of the chair and setting me in his lap. His hard length pressed into me, sending a shiver through me. "Seriously, is there anything you don't know?"

"Just why you love me," I whispered, slipping my fingers into his hair.

Edward moaned. "Because you're you." Rolling, he laid me on the bed, hovering over me. "Do you really not understand how much I need you?"

"Show me," I gasped.

His hands roamed over my body, trying to find purchase on anything they could. However, before he could do anything but slide his hand up my shirt, someone knocked on the door. Muttering under my breath, I skirted from under him and crossed the room, grabbing my gun out of the dresser before throwing open the door. Carlisle had a smirk on his face until he registered the weapon in my hand.

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed, taking two steps back.

"Bella, don't shoot the asshole," Edward laughed, stepping up behind me and slipping the gun from my hand. "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason for disturbing us at seven in the morning."

"Yeah, of course I do," Carlisle mumbled, letting his arms fall to his side. "Um, I was hungry."

"Edward, give me my gun," I ordered, snarling under my breath. Instead of giving me my weapon, he buried his face in my hair, laughing when Carlisle's eyes flew open. The son of a bitch knew I'd kick his ass, or he should have at least.

"Bell, don't be like that," he grumbled. "I'm fucking starving here."

I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on my hips. "And you couldn't wait an hour."

"I could have, but it wouldn't have been nearly as funny." The corners of his mouth twitched. As much as I tried not to, I found myself smiling with him. His smart mouth was just one of the many things I loved about Carlisle.

"Fine, give me ten minutes to shower and then we can go get you some goddamn food."

"Thank you," he sighed, pushing past me and falling onto the bed.

"Feel free to wait in here," I scoffed, kicking him in the shin.

Carlisle ignored me, though, waving a hand in the air. I grabbed my bag off the floor and headed into the bathroom. Turning on the water, I stripped off the pajamas I'd thrown on in haste upon our arrival. We'd been too exhausted to think much about our arrangements. The only definite had come from Peter, who insisted that we book two rooms, stating that he was not sharing a bed with anyone, or sleeping on the floor. In the dead of night, I didn't give a rat's ass where he slept.

I pulled the curtain aside just enough to step in under the fervid water. Rolling my shoulders back, I tried to loosen them up. Spending the majority of two days in the car hadn't done my muscles any good. They ached, both from the trip and stress. Hopefully, one would take care of the other.

While I washed my hair, I thought back to Lili's books, trying to understand the relevance to our case. None of this was making sense. First, she sent Garrett, someone she'd never met, information that he wouldn't know what to do with. What made her choose him over me or Carlisle? Then, we have the disappearance of Riley Biers. Was he a mere victim in all of this or did he play a major role in whatever happened with those children found in Columbia? Above all else, what happened to Lili?

Turning off the water, I grabbed a towel and dried off before stepping out of the shower. I wrapped the towel around my hair before slipping on a pair of panties, a bra, a pair of tight fitting jeans, and a black dress shirt. Wringing out my hair as much as I could, I dragged my hairbrush through my long, dark locks, leaving it down. Carlisle was sitting at the table looking at one of the books while Edward stood in front of the window, one hand on the glass and the other resting on his hip. His pajama pants hung loosely and he hadn't bothered putting a shirt on. Damn, he was one sexy man.

"Edward, are you coming with us?" I asked, grabbing my black, leather boots from next to the television.

He looked over his shoulder, smiling. "No, you two go ahead. Just bring me a cup of coffee."

"Okay." Once I had my boots on, I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my lips against his shoulder blade. "I love you."

"I love you, too, baby," he whispered. "Be safe."

Carlisle pushed his chair back, making a gagging noise. "I think I am going to be sick."

"Shut the fuck up," I spat, hitting him in the back of the head.

"Goddamn it, Bella, don't hit me," he grumbled.

Edward's laughter followed us out the door. Carlisle wrapped his arm around my waist, letting his hand rest on my hip. If anyone other than him or Edward held me like this, I'd have them on their asses, but Carlisle was one of the few people I trusted in this world. Together, we'd been through hell and back. Even though our relationship had been strained by our mutual issues, we'd never given up on each other. I understood that while he loved me, he loved Esme more; just like he understood that Edward was my world.

"I'm thinking a breakfast burrito sounds good," he said as we walked out of the lobby. "What do you think?"

"I think it sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen," I teased, patting his gut. "But what the hell, right?"

"I am not fat," he muttered.

"Of course you're not," I laughed, taking off running toward the car.

"I'm not," he called after me. He reached me before I could climb in, caging me in his arms. "Take it back, Bella."

"Never." I smirked, placing my hands on his chest.

"Last chance." Carlisle lifted an eyebrow.

"Or what, pudgy?"

He growled and grabbed my hands, pinning them on the top of the car with one hand. An onslaught of flashes assaulted me, sending me to my knees: a finger ghosting over my skin, hot sickening breath wafting across my face, swooshes just moments before the sting slapped across my skin from the whip. My breath caught in my chest and before I knew better, I was bowled over, retching against the dark asphalt.

"Oh, my God, Bell!" In a heartbeat, Carlisle was next to me, pulling my hair back. "Take a deep breath, honey."

Dragging my hand up his arm, I grabbed the front of his shirt, turning my face to his. "Please don't leave me there."

"Honey, I am not leaving you anywhere," he whispered, nestling me against his chest. His free hand cradled the back of my head, holding me firmly. "You're safe."

Tearing his hand out from mine, he pushed it under my knees and lifted me off the ground. He carried me to the back of the car and set me on the trunk. I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to push the memories down. It took several minutes, but I managed to stop myself from hyperventilating. With embarrassment on my face, I leaned away from him, trying to pull my mask back on. Weakness would only get me in more trouble, even with Carlisle.

"Um, let's go eat," I muttered, clenching my hands into tight fists.

"Hey, look at me," he ordered. Lifting my eyes up to his, I barely kept the tears from falling. "What just happened?"

"Nothing," I lied, grinding my teeth together. "Can we please just go?"

"Bella, don't push me way," he pleaded, bringing his hand up to my face. I leaned into him, a wishful sigh slipping out. "Please, let me help you."

"You can't," I whispered. "I have to help myself, Car, and I'm trying, but sometimes everything just slams into me and…well, I don't know. I feel out of control and lost."

"Have you told Esme any of this?"

I nodded. "We're working on it, but I don't think I'll ever fully overcome what happened last year." I brought my hand up to my chest, running my fingers across the thin scars. "There are too many reminders."

"They're just scars," he said, tracing them. "Proof of how strong you are."

"Or weak," I groused. "Can we just go get something to eat, please?"

Carlisle nodded and helped me off the back of the car before pressing his lips against my forehead. "I love you, Bell, even if you are a little messed up right now."

"Yeah, I love you, too, even if you're an insensitive ass." I smirked, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work, but, then again, I knew it wouldn't. Regardless, if I liked it or not, Carlisle worried about me. That was just how he was, though, and I'd never ask him to change.

We climbed into the car; I let Carlisle drive, and headed toward the closet place we could find that sold breakfast burritos. While I knew he was worried about my latest episode, I couldn't find the strength to alleviate his fears. I wasn't okay. Anger and pain ran havoc through me and I didn't know how to make stop myself from feeling this way. Life didn't come with an instruction manual, no matter how much we needed one.

After driving for ten minutes, Carlisle settled for a small, out of the way place called Jose's. About the size of a large school bus, there were about a half dozen tables covered in old bummer stickers. Carlisle ordered us each two burrito's and a cup of coffee for each of us. We settled at one of the table, sipping on the bitter-sweet liquid. Leaning back in his seat, he drummed his fingers on the table, but never said a word. He didn't need to; I could read him like a book.

Carlisle needed to take care of me, to make me better. The guilt he felt from abandoning me after James' initial attack had never dimensioned, he'd just gotten really good at hiding. I could tell him a million times that I'd forgiven him, which I had, but he hadn't forgiven himself yet. Plus, a part of me needed him to take care of me, too. While my heart and soul belonged to Edward, Carlisle would always be my first love.

A few minutes later, a young boy no older than sixteen called our number. I started to stand when Carlisle snorted and pushed me back into my seat. The urge to stick my foot out and trip him was strong, but I resisted. He was only trying to be a gentleman after all. He came back a moment later with our food and two cups of picante sauce. With a smile, I picked up my first burrito and un-wrapped it. Adding a bit of the sauce, I took a bite, moaning as the assorted flavors attacked my taste buds.

"Goddamn, this is one delicious burrito," he groaned, falling back in his seat. "They remind me of the ones we used to get back in New York, remember?"

"From Dionne's," I giggled. "They were bigger than here, though."

"More expensive, too, but they were worth it," he said, taking another big bite.

"Yeah, they were," I agreed.

Twenty minutes later, Carlisle and I had finished eating. We ordered Edward and Peter a couple of burritos and a cup of coffee to go, even though a part of me wanted to tell Peter to fucking get his own. My anger toward him wasn't going to help us figure this case out, either. Climbing back into the car, we headed back to the hotel.

We walked into the lobby and started toward the elevator, only to stop when the concierge called out to me, "Agent Swan, I have a message for you."

Pausing for just a moment, I shared a look with Carlisle before going up to the counter. When we checked in last night, we didn't tell them we were with the Bureau. The last thing we'd planned on was drawing attention to the fact that we were here and investigating Lili's disappearance. We'd learned the hard way that nobody outside of our small circle could be trusted.

"From who?" I asked when he handed me the white piece of paper. It had been folded twice and had Agent Swan scribbled across. Even though it'd been twelve years since I'd seen her handwriting, I'd still recognize it anywhere. "Never mind who, when did she drop it off?"

"About an hour after you checked in last night," he replied.

"Why am I just now getting it?" My tone came off harsher than I intended, but we'd been here for six hours already.

"She instructed us not to disturb you while you rested, but to make sure we delivered it before eight." He gestured to the clock that hung on the wall behind him. "It's before eight."

"Just barely," I snapped. "Did she tell you anything else?"

He sighed. "No, Agent Swan."

"Thank you," I groused, pushing off the counter.

Carlisle followed me over to the elevator. The ride up to the fifth floor was tense and awkward. I wanted to unfold the note, but I knew I needed to wait until we were with Peter and Edward. The doors slide open and we rushed down the hallway, stopping in front of my room. I thrust my keycard into the automated lock, pushing the door open when the green light flashed. I was surprised to see Peter sitting at the small table in our room. Edward sat on the edge of the bed, drumming the remote to the television against the palm of his hand.

Looking up, he sighed, "Thank God."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We received a phone call ten minutes ago from someone who ordered us to wait here for you," Peter explained. While I heard the words he uttered, my eyes were locked on my husband's. The worry pouring out of them nearly sent me to my knees.

"Who called?" Carlisle voiced his question. I walked across the room, sitting next to Edward. Bringing my free hand up to his face, I tried to tell him that I was okay, that whatever he feared had happened or would happen, was needless.

"I don't know; their voice had been altered. It sounded digital. A man's voice," Peter added. "What's that?"

Shifting my attention to him, I let my hand fall from Edward's cheek. "A note. From Lili, I think."

"What does it say?" he demanded, scooting to the edge of his seat.

With a heavy sigh, I unfolded the paper, reading the words out loud, "Agent Swan, be at Mel's Diner on twenty-third and Murphy Drive at midnight. Don't be late."

"Looks like we have a meeting tonight," Carlisle muttered, taking the chair opposite to Peter. "Just like Lili, too."

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, placing his hand on the small of my back. He needed to reassure himself that I was actually there. The phone call he'd received had really shaken him up.

I smiled, turning so that I faced him. "Her father's name was Murphy and her mother's was Melody."

Edward nodded and pulled the message out of my hand. "And you think she's the one who sent you this note?"

"I'd know her handwriting anywhere," I explained. "She wanted me to come find her. I don't know why yet, but she wanted me here in Houston."

"Let's just hope this isn't a trap," he quipped, standing up and dropping the note on the table. "You're running out second chances."

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, still confused?**


	17. Chapter 17

Just after eleven, the four of us walked out of our hotel and loaded into the car. None of us spoke, each of us dealing with the task before us differently. Peter chose to mope, complaining more than a dozen times about how he'd done nothing wrong. Yeah, nothing but keep information from us that could have saved us time and resources. Not to mention the fact that he was extorting money from various departments of the FBI to fund The Program. How could he have gotten away with this? Didn't anyone notice hundreds of thousands of dollars being unaccounted for? Which begged the biggest question; how high did this little conspiracy reach? I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to that one.

While Peter moaned and groaned, Carlisle dealt with his anger by glaring at him. Carlisle trusted Peter, treated him like a friend, and valued their friendship. His betrayal nearly cost Carlisle a member of his team, something he wouldn't forgive anytime soon. Garrett and Kate were more than just teammates, they were family. You don't go fucking around with our family and expect to receive respect from any of us. A lesson I'd learned the hard way over the last year.

Shifting my attention over to Edward, I sighed inwardly. He'd been sullen all afternoon; the phone call and note had sent him reeling. Though he tried to hide it, I saw the fears flashing inside his eyes, the weight of the word resting on his shoulders. Guilt ate at me, knowing I hadn't done anything to relieve those fears. If anything, I'd only added to them. My inability to cope with monsters had left my husband trying to be superman. It wasn't fair, but I didn't know how to make it better.

Reaching over, I placed my hand on his thigh, drawing his attention to me. Though I had to keep my eyes on the road, I chanced a look at him. He closed his eyes, covering my hand with his for just a moment. The gesture spoke more than any word would, and right now, it was all we could offer each other. A simple touch that said our love was still there.

Turning onto Murphy Drive, our attention was pulled back to the mission at hand. The sign on the corner stated that we were on the sixteenth block. I almost laughed out loud. The neighborhood looked a lot like some of the areas in New York that we'd often found ourselves patrolling in our rooky days, buildings with cracked or broken windows, gang tags spray painted on the crumbling bricks, and garbage littering the sidewalks. I parked the car on the corner adjacent the diner. The blinds had been pulled down, blocking us from being able to look in the window, though the light did shine through the cracks. Sighing, I pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned in my seat, looking at Peter, then Carlisle, and finally Edward.

"Are we ready?" I asked.

"No," Edward replied. "How can we be sure this isn't a trap?"

"We can't, but it's the only lead we have," I told him. He scowled, shifting his gaze to the diner. "Look, I know it's not easy, but we don't have a choice. Lili, or whoever sent us here, have information we need to find the son of a bitch responsible for what happened to Garrett and Kate."

"Yeah, I know," he snapped, nearly kicking the car door open. "You don't need to keep reminding me about Garrett and Kate, Bella. He was my partner after you left me, remember?"

Slamming the door shut behind him, I flinched and looked away. Peter made a sound that came out as a mix between a snort and laugh before he climbed out, closing the door behind him. Carlisle reached over the driver's seat, patting my shoulder awkwardly before he followed. What do you say when your husband points out how you clearly abandoned him during his moment of need? Yeah, there's really nothing one could say.

I dragged my hand over my face, running my fingers through my hair, before grabbing a hold of the door handle and pushing it open. Climbing out, I kept my face away from them, not wanting them to see the traitorous moisture that sprinkled my cheeks. Crying was a weakness I couldn't afford, not now, not ever.

"Let's go," I grumbled, pulling my gun from my holster. Maybe it was paranoia, but I'd learned you could never be too careful. Last time I let my guard down, I found myself with my hands hooked over my head, and a whip digging into my skin.

We carefully made our way across the street, our attention flying in every direction. A creepy feeling crawled up my spine, I just wasn't sure why. Pausing outside the door, I chanced a look back at everyone before wrapping my fingers around the silver handle and pushing the door open. However, the door had barely moved before it was yanked open and we were dragged inside. The lights went off as my body was slammed against the wall. The person holding me pulled my weapon from my hand, letting their hands roam over my body. I threw my elbow back, connecting with someone's face. The crunch of their nose breaking echoed through the room. They tried to grab me again, but I managed to get a hold of their arm, taking them to the ground and pinning them against the floor.

"Everyone, stand down." The lights came back on and I shifted my eyes to the woman standing on the other side of the room. Her hair had been cut into a pixie cut, and dyed pitch black, yet her eyes were still the same vibrant blue/gray eyes. "You can let him up now, Bella."

"Can I?" I groused, twisting his arm a little tighter. The man under me whimpered. Lili smiled, crossing her arms in front of her. Sighing, I released him and stood up, taking two steps back. "You look like shit."

"I could say the same about you." Lili shifted her eyes behind me, her smile growing. "Carlisle, you're looking good."

"Lili," he replied, yet he didn't return the compliment.

Placing her hands on her hips, she shook her head. "Guard the perimeter; make sure they weren't followed. Peter, Bella, Carlisle, and Edward," she shifted her eyes to mine, "follow me."

"Where?" I asked, not missing the little fact that she knew my husband's name.

"Somewhere safe," was all she said before she spun on her heel and headed into the kitchen.

I shifted my eyes to the man rubbing his shoulder and holding my gun. Grabbing it away from him, I placed it in my holster and followed her in. I didn't need to look behind me to know that Peter, Carlisle, and Edward were following, too. Lili stood next to a walk-in freezer, arms crossed in front of her again, and an annoyed look on her face. I'm sure mine matched. Half a dozen men filled the kitchen, each of them holding weapons, but watching the four of us.

"Down here," Lili instructed, walking into the freezer. I followed, unsure if I was making the right decision or not. She could have killed us the minute we walked in if she wanted us dead.

Pushing on the back panel of the freezer, Lili opened a hidden door, leading us down a step of iron steps. The walls were cement and the smell of mold and rot filled my nose. A long corridor lay in front of us, every ten feet or so there was a yellow light flickering, leading our path down into hell. Lili didn't say anything as she walked in front of us. She took a sudden left, leading us down another set of stairs. However, this time we found ourselves inside a large command center.

"Welcome to The Program," she announced, waving a hand around.

The large room was filled with a couple dozen of the best computers on the market. A large screen, easily one hundred and twenty inches wide, hung on the far wall, a dozen news programs flashing across the screen. I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing here. This was the shit you saw in movies or read in some crazy crime novel. An underground command center? None of this was making any sense.

"Peter, the commander is on line one, and quickly losing patience," Lili said. Peter brushed his way past me, heading toward the back of the cavernous room, into an office, and closed the door. "I know, it's pretty unreal, isn't it?"

I shifted my attention back to her. "What the hell is going on here?"

"I'll explain everything, just follow me," she replied, heading toward the back.

Without much of an alternative, we did as she requested. As we walked past everyone, they turned in their chairs, abandoning their work. It was almost as if they'd been expecting us, which they probably had been. Lili led us into a large conference room. An eight foot by ten foot white board covered nearly the entire wall on the far side, though not much of it was visible. Almost every inch of the board had been written on, dates tracking back nearly a decade crossed over towards towns spreading all over the country; a few even into other countries. Tacked on the middle of the board was a black and white photo of our mystery man from the hospital.

Crossing the room, I pulled it down. "Who is he?"

"His name is Philip Dwyer," Lili said, closing the door behind her. I turned to face her. She pulled a chair out, sitting and propping her feet up in the table. "He's one of the most gruesome serial killers in history."

"Why have we never heard of him?" I asked, sitting at the opposite side of the table. Carlisle and Edward took the seats next to me, waiting for her to give us something.

Dropping her feet, Lili leaned up and placed her elbows on the table, folding her hands in front of her. "Because nobody, but us knows he even exists," she explained. "Philip Dwyer first came on our radar eight years ago. Though, at the time we didn't suspect him of anything more than his work with troubled youth."

"He's Dr. Harrison?" I lifted an eyebrow.

Lili smiled. "I see you've done your homework, Bella."

"I wouldn't have had to if you had come to me yourself," I snarked. "You realize that you nearly cost two people their lives, don't you, Lili?"

"I do," she admitted. "And if I could change that, I would, but in my defense, you'd left your position at the FBI and I didn't have a lot of options. Or would you rather I'd sent my information to Emmett or Jasper? Perhaps, I should have sent them to your boy here?"

"How do you know them?" Edward demanded, slamming his hand on the table. "Or me, even?"

Lili sighed, pushing away from the table and standing up. She walked out, closing the door behind her. I lifted the photo up again, studying the face I knew all too well. This man, this Philip Dwyer was even more methodical than I thought. At least if I base him off the profile Lili gave in her books. Lili came back in a few minutes later with an arm full of manila folders. Tossing them on the table in front of us, she turned back and closed the door. I stood up, grabbing spreading the files out. She had one for each member of our team, Ben and Angela included.

"We've been watching you for a while," she said, taking her seat.

Opening the folder with my name on it, I flipped through the pages. She had records on me that dated back to when I was in college, well before I went to the police academy. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah, that was my reaction when they approached me, too." Lili leaned forward, tapping her fingers on the metal table.

"Lili, what happened to you?" I asked, laying the folder on the table. "It's been twelve years. Where have you been?"

Taking a sharp breath, she leaned back in her chair, her hand coming to rest on her chest. "It was right after we got wind of the Sanders' case. I'd come home, made a TV dinner, and was getting ready for bed when I got a phone call. The person on the other end wouldn't identify who they were, but stated they had information that we needed. I called Connor, and we went to meet him." Lili stood up and started pacing. "We'd gone to that crappy little diner down on 103rd. Remember? They had cockroaches the sizes of rats."

"Mama Jo's," I muttered. "Greasy as fuck, but the best cheeseburger in the city."

"Yeah." She sighed wistfully. "We waited for almost three hours before the door swung open and Peter came in. He slid into the booth across from us and said-"

"I'm going to change your life." We looked over as Peter came in, closing the door behind him. "Sorry to interrupt. Please continue."

"Of course, neither Connor nor I thought he really would change our lives." Peter laughed before taking the seat she'd just left. I expected her to call him on it; however instead, Lili grabbed the chair next to him, flipped it around, and straddled the metal seat. "But he was right. Our lives did change that night."

"Look, y'all can catch up later," Edward snarked, waving his hand in the air. "Let's get down to whoever this Philip Dwyer is and whatever the fuck he is up to that nearly cost two people their lives."

Lili's smile grew as she looked from him to me. I shook my head, discouraging her from saying whatever she was thinking. Edward was already on the edge, egging him on wouldn't do us any good.

However, instead of Lili being the one who spoke, Peter did. "Around seventeen years ago, Philip Dwyer came out of nowhere with a new behavior modification therapy that was supposed to cure the troubled youth. He'd implant a chip at the base of the skull, which would modify the violent impulses they had. It was thought to be a breakthrough in modern medicine."

"You're kidding, right?" Edward asked, shifting his attention between Peter and Lili. "What you're talking about is impossible."

"It's not any different than the chips people put in their dogs so they can be located if they are found." Lili shrugged her shoulders, crossing her legs. "However, they didn't work the way Dwyer wanted—at least not after a while."

"The first boy he used the chip on managed to live six months before it began to malfunction, sending him into a homicidal rage. He killed his parents, his six year old sister, and two year old brother before he took his own life."

"Whoa," Edward murmured, shaking his head.

"At first, they believed it was a random case, but then another boy killed his family, and a girl turned against her classmates. In the end, all ten of the kids that were in the first trial ended up dead, along with more than a dozen others."

"Wait, first trial?" Carlisle exclaimed. "How many other trials were there?"

Peter hesitated before replying, "Four…that were documented."

"How many weren't documented?" I asked.

"We don't for sure, but we can tie him to more than hundred missing kid cases, and of those, nearly seventy of them have been found dead," Lili muttered.

Pushing my chair away from the table, I stood up, letting Dwyer's photo fall to the table. The man I'd had in my sights just weeks ago was responsible for more than just hurting Garrett and Kate. Who knows how many more innocent lives he'd managed to destroy in the last few weeks, either? Dragging a frustrated hand through my hair, I turned toward the white board, scanning over the list of names and towns. Damian R., Robert W., Michael C., Amanda R., South Carolina, Georgia, Iowa, Louisiana, and dozens more.

"How has he gotten away with this for so long?" I turned back to everyone, one arm slinging up to the white board behind me. "How did all these kids get lost through the cracks?"

"After the first four trials and his research grants were terminated, he vanished." Lili walked around the table, coming to stand next to me. "Of all the kids on this board, only five of them were not reported as runaways by their parents. The other five were…considered to be trouble makers, often finding themselves on the wrong side of law enforcement. By the time anyone noticed they were gone, days had passed."

"That sounds like an excuse to me," I sniped.

"Perhaps you're right," she mumbled. "Last we saw of Dwyer, he was in Columbia."

"Did he take Riley Biers?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"Is Riley dead?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, sadly. "I couldn't save him. By the time I caught up with Dwyer, Riley had already been in his program for two months. I tried to get him out of the country, but before I could, his chip went haywire and he threw himself in front of a train, taking Connor with him."

"Oh, man," I whispered. "Sorry, Lili."

"Yeah, me too," she muttered. Shifting her eyes away from the board, she took a sharp breath, trying to keep her composure. Nice to see some things didn't change. She never was one to show her emotions, like I used to be before I went crazy. "When I came back, the feds had declared his death to be an accident and his case was closed. They didn't want to hear about Dwyer, or the dozens of kids that were lost along the way."

"By the time, Lili and her team made it back to the states, Dwyer had vanished again," Peter stated. "It wasn't until he came to the hospital to finish Garrett off that we realized he was in the US."

"You knew?" I snapped, glaring at him. "You knew the day he came there who he was, and what he'd done?"

Peter nodded, but before he could defend himself, Edward launched himself over the table and pinned him against the wall. Lili took a step to try to help him, but I grabbed her by the arm, stopping her. "Leave it," I snarked. "That bastard deserves everything he gets."

"Well, maybe, Agent Swan, but for the sake of being adults, why don't we all calm down." Shifting my attention over to the now open door, I felt my mouth drop open. Why the hell was she here?

"Charlotte?"

**Thank you for all the reviews. The next update might be a few weeks, I have another book to finish.**


	18. Author's Note

It's with a heavy heart that I announce that I am taking a break from Fan Fiction. I love writing, it's who I am and what I do, but lately I've struggled to balance both my professional work and my fanfiction stories. With looming deadlines on the horizon, I feel it would be best for me to take some time off and focus on getting my books done.

I have two books due in the next few months, a second installment to our just released publication The Candy Collection and an independent novel that I've been writing for months, if not close to a year now. In order for me to give them the attention and hard work they deserve, I have to take a step back and focus on what I have to do. Therefore, I am officially taking a vacation until May 1st.

However, I am not leaving the fandom altogether. You can still PM me here, or find me on Facebook. All of my stories will be completed as I've made a commitment to them and you, my readers, to give you the best I can. I appreciate all your support and I hope that you will understand why I need to take this break.


	19. Chapter 18

"Commander," Lili said, addressing Charlotte. Edward released his hold on Peter. However, instead of rushing to the side of his wife, Peter just stood there. I looked from him to Lili and back to Charlotte.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I snapped, clenching my hands into fists. "Charlotte? You're a part of The Program."

"No, dear, I am in charge of The Program," she chirped, closing the door behind her. "Now, if everyone will have a seat, we can clear up a few things before we focus on the case at hand." She pulled out the chair at the end of the table and sat down, clasping her hands on the table in front of her. Though, while Peter and Lili took the seats on either side of her—Edward, Carlisle, and I didn't move. Charlotte sighed. "Look, sit down, let us explain and then you can throw your little temper tantrum."

"Fine," I gritted out, choosing to sit on the opposite end of the table. Carlisle and Edward took the seats on either side of me, but neither of them said a word. "Please explain why you betrayed your friends."

"We have a mole inside The Program," Charlotte started. "Someone had been passing information on to Dwyer because every time we get a lead, he's gone the next day. Columbia was closest we'd ever gotten to him, yet he had a ten hour head start."

"How can you be sure that you have a mole and it wasn't just sloppy police work?" I groused.

Clicking her tongue, Charlotte leaned back in her chair, her hands falling into her lap. "Because someone hacked through my personal security in order to find information we'd gathered on Dwyer's whereabouts in Columbia." She smirked. "And nobody can break through my line of defense."

"That sounds like a challenge, Charlotte," I snarked. "Or am I supposed to call you Commander."

"No, my dear, you haven't earned the right to call me anything." Charlotte stood up and walked around the table, picking up my file. "As you can tell from this, we've been watching you for a while, Agent Swan."

I wasn't sure how to respond so instead I sat there with my arms folded in front of me defensively and waited for her to explain. However, Charlotte didn't offer me anything else. Instead, she sat back down, flipping between the pages at an agonizingly slow pace. Huffing, I slammed my hand on the table, causing her to look back up at me. This shit was getting beyond old.

"You'd better start explaining!" I yelled.

"I started tracking you when you were at NYU. You showed a lot of promise, even at such a young age, but you weren't ready. While you might have had the intellect of someone twice your age, Agent Swan, you were still only a fifteen year old girl. Once you left the university, we followed your progress at the academy. You were growing, but there was still something holding you back. When you started with the special victims unit, I figured you'd need maybe a year before you'd be ready. Of course that's how we found Lili and Connor. Carlisle came to our attention, as well, but you were the one we wanted."

"So why didn't you approach me?" I asked.

Charlotte shook her head. "Because just when you were ready, James Sanders came after you." I clenched my jaw together. "You fell apart, Agent Swan. It's not unusual, but I kept expecting you to shake it off and move forward, yet you never did."

I looked away. The words she spoke burned into my soul. They were true. Too many times I found myself standing on the edge, unable to hold on.

"You think that file tells you anything about Bella." I shifted my attention to Edward. Shaking his head, he stood up and placed his palms on the table, disgust rolling off of him. "Tell me something, Charlotte, when was the last time you found yourself at a madman's mercy, only to barely survive the wounds left." Silence. "More times than she should have had to, Bella has fought her way back from more hell than any of us can even imagine. It hasn't been easy for Bella, or fun." Edward straightened up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Goddamn it, she nearly died at that son of bitch's hand!"

"I understand that, Agent Mason. I certainly wasn't trying to insinuate that she's had it easy," Charlotte replied.

Closing my eyes, I stood up and placed my hand on Edward's shoulder, before he could defend my actions any further. This wasn't his battle to fight. "You don't have the right to judge me for how I've handled anything that I've been through."

"Bella, calm down," Lili scoffed. I turned my glare onto her. "You're . . ."

"You weren't there, Lili," I snapped, slamming my fist on the table. "He held me on the floor of my apartment and tried to rape me. Where were you?" She dropped her gaze to her lap. "Don't think I don't know how fucked up I am." Again the room was filled with silence. Pushing away from the table, I took a calming breath. "I've never claimed to be perfect, quite the opposite actually. I'm a fucking disaster area. Now, I'm tired and so why don't you get the on with why we are here?"

"I told you, we need your help," Charlotte said, leaning forward again. "I need you to profile my people."

"No," I replied, walking toward the door.

"Agent Swan, stop," she ordered.

I snorted and looked back at her. "You have people here who can do that for you. Fuck, Lili alone should be able to profile everyone. Why me?"

"Because you don't know them," she explained, standing up. "The Program is designed to bring the best of the best together, Agent Swan. Every member was handpicked by me, but with the information that we have now, I'm not sure who I can trust."

"You think you can trust me?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow at her. "I went bat-shit crazy, remember?"

"Perhaps you did," Charlotte agreed, walking around the table and stopping in front of me. "But you're the best profiler I've ever seen. Now, I am pleading with you to help me find the person responsible for selling us all out and ultimately putting Garrett and Kate in danger."

Shaking my head, I placed my hands on my hips. "Fine, but I won't do it without my team. You get Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela here." She opened her mouth to protest, but I stopped her. "I don't give a fuck what you have to do to make it happen, but we're a team and there's been enough bullshit between us without you adding fuel to the fire. You arrange for protect for Garrett and Kate, my sisters, our parents, Esme, the girls. If one hair on any of their heads is touched, I will make it my mission to expose The Program and take each and every one of you down with it. Understand?"

Charlotte clenched her jaw together, giving a sharp nod in acceptance. "We've taken the liberty of securing your belongings from the hotel and have placed them in your rooms. Lili will see that you have everything you need."

Shifting my attention to Lili and Peter first, I turned to Edward and Carlisle, both of whom were on their feet already. "Fine."

Charlotte turned to Peter, motioning for him to follow her out, which he did. It took every ounce of my control not to lash out at him. Every word out of his mouth had been lie. I knew I'd never be able to truly trust him again—not after this.

Lili cleared her throat. "Come with me, I'll show you around."

"The tour can wait," I muttered. "It's late and we're tired. Just show us to our rooms."

"Bella . . ."

"Save it, Lili," I grumbled. "I don't want to hear it."

"Fine, right this way."

Lili led us toward the back of the command center. The penetrating gazes from the people monitoring the computers sent a chill through me. One of them could be the mole. For all we knew they were sending Dwyer our location this very moment. Suppressing my shudder as much as I could, I followed Lili down a dimly lit halfway. She took a couple of turns, a right and then a left, before stopping outside of two rooms that were across the hall from each other.

"Figured you'd want to be close," she muttered, keeping her eyes locked on her steel toes boots. "If you get hungry, the kitchen upstairs is open. We put fresh bedding on both the beds and a couple of extra pillows so . . ." Sighing, she finally looked up at us. "I am sorry for leaving the way I did. I had a choice to make and it wasn't an easy one."

"Yeah, so it seems," I replied. "Maybe you made the wrong one."

She nodded and pushed off the wall. "Maybe I did, Swan."

Wrapping her arms around her torso, Lili left us standing there. I shared a look with Carlisle and Edward before stepping into the room that Edward and I would stay in. Both of them knew better than to speak before we had a chance to check that we weren't being listened in on. With the way The Program seemed to be designed, it wouldn't put it past them to plant listening devices or cameras, probably both. However, after a thorough search, we came up with nothing.

Sighing, I sat down on the edge of the double bed. The room we were in was pleasant enough. The walls were cement and seeing as we were underground, there weren't any windows. There was a wooden dresser, a couple of beat-up armchairs, and a small table in the corner. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to stifle the claustrophobic feeling wrapping around me. I didn't like being locked away; it brought back too many memories. Ones I'd been working my ass off to keep buried away.

"I don't know what to make of this," Carlisle said, ending the deafening silence around us. I looked up at him. "This is crazy shit, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed, "but if she's telling the truth, then this is our only chance at finding Dwyer."

"How'd someone like Dwyer slip through the cracks in the first place?" Edward asked, leaning against the dresser. "Hundreds of kids went missing during his trails and nobody seemed to care? How does he tie into the kids who were found abused and neglected in that warehouse in Columbia? Why would their government try to cover it all up?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Guess that's what we get to find out and what a better way than to take advantage of our situation here, right?"

"Maybe," he muttered, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know anymore. Seems like we're just asking for trouble, but maybe we don't have a choice."

"Looks it's late," Carlisle said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Let's get some sleep and we can regroup tomorrow."

Edward agreed so we headed over to Carlisle's room, giving it a thorough once over before he and I bid Carlisle goodnight and headed back into our room. Our bags were stacked at the bottom of the bed. Edward pulled off his shirt, dropping it on the floor before lifting his bag onto the bed. I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He inhaled a sharp breath, his hand coming down to cover mine.

"Seems like with every clue we get, there are a dozen more questions left to answer," he grumbled.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed, resting my head on his back.

"I'm sorry that your friend hurt you," he said, turning so that my cheek rested over his heart.

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. "Me too. Other than Carlisle, she was the only friend I had. Now it doesn't even feel like I know her."

Edward brought his arms up around me, his fingers tangling up in my hair. Pulling gently, he tilted my head back, searching my eyes with his. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," I whimpered. "I know I've said this too many times for you to believe, but I am sorry for pushing you away. I don't mean to."

He leaned in and brushed his lips across mine. "It's okay; just don't push me away anymore."

"I'll try not to." I pressed my mouth against his chest, muffling my yawn.

"Come on, baby, let's go to bed."

Agreeing with a simple nod of my head, I dropped my arms from around him. Edward and I slipped on our pajamas before climbing in under the covers. Rolling onto my side, I slid my arm across his waist, holding on to Edward as tightly as I could. Our journey to find Philip Dwyer had done nothing but cause us grief—all of us. The lies and deceit were making it impossible to know who we could trust and who was working on the other side of the line. As if I didn't have enough pressure on my shoulders, now I had to find the mole hiding out inside The Program.

Shivering, I tightened my hold on Edward. He shifted onto his side, pressing his lips against the side of my head. "It's okay, baby, I'm right here."

With that simple promise, I drifted off to sleep not knowing what tomorrow would bring.

**Thank you for all the reviews and the patience during my absence. **


	20. Chapter 19

The Program felt like a prison. Every time we went anywhere, there were guards following behind us, or at the very least standing close by. Suppose they were afraid that we'd leave and expose their little secrets. As tempted as we were, Carlisle, Edward, and I knew this was our chance to bust our case open and find Phil Dwyer. The problem came, though, that the people inside The Program were being less than helpful. Not that I could blame them, of course. We were outsiders.

We'd been in the underground for three days and I was beginning to feel restless. I hadn't been able to sleep, each night a new, terrifying nightmare had me shaking in terror and screaming for mercy. Edward did what he could, but not even he could stop the monsters from stealing bits and pieces of my soul. Being kept in the underground was fucking up my already testy sanity.

So for the third morning in a row, I crawled out of our bed and went down to the gym to work out. For the third morning in a row, I tried to beat the horrifying images from inside of my head as I attacked one of the punching bags. Over and over, my taped fists took their anger out on the red leather bag; my feet and shins attacked it, wishing and praying that the men who had held me in that shack for days were standing in front of me so I could have my revenge.

Exhausted, I fell to my knees. My sweat-soaked hair hung down on either side of my face, caging the panted breath I was barely able to get out. The back of my hands were bruised, torn, and bleeding; my legs ached, my head throbbed, and my tears threatened to destroy me.

"That was impressive." At the sound of Lili's voice, my head snapped up. She was leaning against the doorframe of the gym, her legs crossed at the ankle and her arms folded in front of her chest.

"What do you want?" I stood up, rubbing the back of my hands on my shorts. "I'm a little busy here."

"So I see," she scoffed. Lili pushed away from the doorframe and walked across the blue mats. "I was hoping that we could talk."

"I don't want to talk to you," I muttered, turning to leave. However, Lili grabbed my arm. Out of reflex, I spun around and punched her in the jaw, sending her spiraling to the ground. "You know better than to touch me."

"Gah, you're being such a bitch," she whined, standing back up. She rubbed against the red welt already forming on her jawline. "Even more than you used to be."

"Gee, I can't imagine why," I snarled. "You were my friend, Lili. My only friend other than Carlisle and you left me."

"I know, and I'm sorry it had to go down like that, but I don't regret joining The Program, Swan."

Shaking my head, I sighed. "This place changed you."

"Maybe," she admitted. "The place helped me find who I am. I was never meant to be a cop, at least not how they'd have me in New York. Those little bastards thought all we were good for was consoling a victim and giving them something to wank off to." Lili ran her hands through her hair. "I was barely able to tolerate it there, Bella. See, I wasn't tough enough to take their asses to the ground like you were."

"I would have done it for you," I muttered. "I did do it for you, on more than one occasion."

"Yeah, I know, but you shouldn't have had to," she grumbled, letting her hand drop to her waist. "I didn't want to live in your shadow; it's not an easy place to be."

"You weren't," I argued.

Lili snorted. "That's bullshit, and you know it, Swan."

"Fine, whatever." Pushing past her, I walked over and picked up my towel, dragging it over my face. "You're not the first person to disappoint me, Lili, and you definitely weren't the last." I looked over my shoulder at her. "But you know what? I shouldn't be surprised, you didn't care about me the way I did you."

Draping my towel over my shoulder, I spun on my heel and walked out, leaving her yelling for me to come back. My words hurt her — I knew this — but for the better part of twelve years, I'd mourned the disappearance of my friend. Some betrayals couldn't be made better by a simple "I'm sorry." Lili was one of the few people who I let into my life. Trust had never been something that I gave freely. Still wasn't.

When I walked into our room, I heard the shower running in the small bathroom that was attached to our room. One small consolidation was that we weren't going to have to share the same showers as the rest of The Program. I had enough issues with my body without letting them see my scars. Closing the door behind me first, I started stripping off my clothes, letting them fall carelessly on the floor. Edward looked over his shoulder as I pulled the curtain open and stepped in with him. A breathtaking smile slipped over his lips, causing my cheeks to redden. The man owned me.

"Hey, baby, how was your workout?" Edward reached out and gripped my hips, pulling me against his nude body.

"It was fine," I murmured, placing my hands on his chest. "Lili showed up."

"She did, huh?" His fingers dug into my skin, almost to the point that he was hurting me. I didn't say anything of course. Edward was already struggling to deal with my declining mental health without me adding guilt on top. No, I loved Edward too much. "Did she upset you?"

"Pretty much," I groused. "I don't want to talk about her."

"Okay," he said, brushing his lips across mine. "Then, let's shower and go get some breakfast."

Edward might have been making a suggestion, but I knew there wasn't negotiation in the simple request. Nodding, I agreed. There were some battles that weren't worth fighting, and this was one of them. Taking our time, we washed each other's bodies, making sure we let our hands speak for us. Once we were done, Edward shut off the water and grabbed a towel, drying me off before wrapping it around my body. I stepped out of the shower, heading back into our bedroom with him following me.

We each dressed in a pair of jeans and T-shirts. Once we had our shoes on, I slipped my hand into his and we headed down to the dining hall. Neither of us were looking forward to it, the awkward stares and whispered murmurs were getting old and fast. We were outsiders.

Carlisle was hutched over one the tables in the farthest corner. Edward and I grabbed a bagel, some coffee, and joined him. He looked up at us, large purple bags hung under his eyes. "Hey," he muttered, dragging a hand through his hair. "The coffee tastes like shit."

"Always does," I chuckled, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand. "Missing Esme?"

He nodded, tears flooding his baby blue orbs. "And the girls," he added, his tone was tight, strangled. "Being here . . ." He shook his head, a few drops sliding down his cheeks. "I don't like it."

I scooted my chair closer to Carlisle, looping my arm in with his. "Do you need to talk about it?"

Carlisle's eyes shifted to Edward for a moment before he shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Okay, but if you change your mind," I whispered. It wasn't that Carlisle didn't trust Edward — he did, but being able to share your dirtiest secrets with someone else was hard.

"I will," he mumbled, clearing his throat. His jaw tightened as he looked over my shoulder. Turning, I saw Peter and Charlotte coming in with Lili following. All three of them looked at us. "Suddenly, I don't feel much like eating."

"Yeah, me either," I quipped with a sigh. Shifting back around, I looked over at Edward. He had his head resting on the palm of his hand, picking small bits of his bagel out and popping them into his mouth. Reaching over, I wrapped my fingers around his wrist, pulling his attention to me. "I love you."

Edward smiled. "I love you, too."

"Gross," Carlisle muttered. Edward and I laughed, glaring playfully at him. "Seriously, I don't need to hear that shit."

"Dude, how can you even say that when we've had to watch you and my sister sucking face at every turn for the last four years?" Edward asked.

Carlisle opened and closed his mouth several times before sighing. "Fine, whatever."

"You're such a pouty baby, Car. Good thing I love you," I snickered.

His eyes flittered back behind me and he groaned. However, before I could look back, I felt a hand come down to rest on my shoulder. Out of pure instinct, I reached back, grabbed it, and slid out of my seat in one fluid move. My left leg swung back, swiping the legs out of the person who had grabbed me, taking them to ground with my knee pressing into the middle of their gut.

"Fuck, Bella," Peter griped, struggling to get out from under me.

"Don't fucking touch me," I hissed, releasing my hold on him and standing up. Everyone in the dining hall was staring at me, including Charlotte and Lili. Though, Charlotte almost looked impressed, which only pissed me off more. "That goes for all you motherfuckers. Don't touch me, don't talk to me," I shifted my eyes to Lili, "and don't think we're friends."

"You're acting like a bitch, Swan," Lili snarled while helping Peter off the ground.

"Yeah? Maybe I am, but at least I didn't let the people who cared about me believe I was dead for twelve fucking years!" I yelled. She flinched. "Do you have any idea how many nights I spent crying in my pillow? I needed you, Lili. When he attacked me, I needed you!"

"I know . . ." Her words hung in the air when I slapped her, the sound of my palm striking her skin echoing through the room.

"You don't know shit," I snarked. Carlisle and Edward each grabbed one of my arms, pulling me back. "You threw me away, Lili; tossed me to the side like I was trash. For all I care, you can go to hell."

Her mouth fell open, but before she could say anything, I tore myself out of Carlisle and Edward's grips and pushed past her, Charlotte, and Peter. The room was deathly silent, only the sounds of my footsteps could be heard. I kept it together while I walked down the stone hallway, through the command center, and into the conference room we'd claimed stake over so we could do our job. But the minute I had the door shut behind me, the tears I'd managed to keep from falling, spilled down my cheeks. I slid to the floor, shoving my fist into my mouth to muffle the scream that erupted from my chest.

The door opened behind me just moments before a pair of arms wrapped around me. "It's okay, baby," Edward cooed.

Somehow, he managed to stand up with me in his arms, carrying me over to one of the chairs and sitting with me in his lap. The door closed and I peeked through my hair, finding Carlisle leaning against it. His eyes were locked on the ground, though his shoulders shook. Bringing my hand up to Edward's cheek, I kissed him before climbing off his lap and crossing over to where Carlisle stood. My hands trembled as I placed them in this chest, my fingers curled around his T-shirt. A strangled sob slipped out as he brought his arms up, wrapping them around me, and dragging me to the floor with him.

"The centers, the boys that . . ." Carlisle took a deep breath, his tears seeping into my hair. "She was my mom, Bella. I needed her."

"I know you did, honey," I whispered, sliding my hand behind his head and letting my fingers tangle in his hair. Carlisle didn't talk about his mom or his time in the boys' home after her suicide. The fact that Edward was sitting ten feet away from us while he spilled his guts showed how much he trusted him. Before now, only Esme and I had been given that part of his soul.

"Being here, away from my family . . ." He shook his head. "It feels like I'm that scrawny, ten year old boy again."

"You're not that boy anymore," I murmured, bringing his head down to rest on my chest. "Honey, you haven't been that lost little boy in so long. You're strong, and brave. You're an amazing father to your girls, a wonderful husband to Esme. You have to hold on to them, let them carry you through until we can go back home."

"Bell," he cried.

"Shh, I know," I replied, soothingly. "I'm not letting you go, honey."

Carlisle clung onto me while he cried. To the rest of our team, he presented himself as the put-together guy who had everything under control. Of course, they knew about what had happened with his mother, something he'd shared with them while I was unconscious following James' second attack on me, but none of them — not even Edward — really understood how it felt to be standing on the edge between life and death.

While I sat in Carlisle's lap, soothing away the demons he still struggled to fight, Edward watched. Every time I looked at him, he'd smile, silently telling me that it was okay, that he understood that Carlisle needed me. And he did. Edward knew that even though I loved Carlisle, I was in love with him. He'd saved me from a life where I merely existed.

**Thank you for all the reviews. This chapter was highly emotional for me. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.**


	21. Chapter 20

A knock on the other side of the door startled all of us, the room once again filled up with tension. Scrambling to our feet, Carlisle brushed the tears off his face while I reached for the doorknob. Time felt like it slowed down as I turned it, pulling it open to reveal Angela and Ben standing in front of Emmett and Jasper. None of them looked any happier to be here than we did. Standing directly behind them were two guards, neither of them looked pleased to be facing us. The feeling was mutual.

Reaching out, I grabbed the front of Ben and Angela's shirts, dragging them into the room before doing the same to Emmett and Jasper. I ignored the glares and huffs that came from them as I slammed the door shut, keeping the two guards who'd escorted them into The Program outside of our small safe haven. Emmett went to speak, but I held my hand up and pressed my ear to the door. Maybe I was paranoid, but I didn't trust them — any of them.

Once I heard the echo of their footsteps disappearing, I released the breath I'd been holding and turned back to the team. With the exception of Edward and Carlisle, who'd taken a seat around the table, the glares I'd received from the others told me all I needed to know: they were pissed.

"Care to explain why I got a call at two in the fucking morning, Swan," Emmett hissed, "demanding that I leave my wife and sons to come here?"

"I'd love to, but first you really need to stop being an ass. I've already had to knock one asshole to the ground; I don't want to have to take you down, too, McCarty."

Emmett started to mouth off until I folded my arms in front of me and he saw my bruised and battered hands. Instead, he ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes. "What the hell is going on here?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out," I murmured. Clenching my hands into fists, I walked past him, Jasper, Angela, and Ben and over to the white board. I pulled the photo of the man who'd been haunting my nights down, tossing it onto the table. "This is the man we're after. His name is Phillip Dwyer and, from what we do know, he's one of the biggest serial killers in history."

Jasper picked it up, studying it. "I've never heard of him."

"You wouldn't have, because according to every law enforcement agency, besides The Program, Dwyer doesn't exist," Edward said, leaning back in his seat. Everyone, but me and Carlisle, turned to him, their eyebrows raised. It was almost funny, but right now nothing was humorous.

"Um, what?" Ben finally asked.

"Look, everyone sit down and we'll explain." Moving around the table, I slid into the chair between Edward and Carlisle. While everyone sat down on the opposite side, I shifted my attention over to Carlisle. Though he'd cried and let his emotions show just moments ago, now he looked every bit in control of himself. However, I knew him better. He was spiraling inside, barely hanging onto the thin grasp of reality. Reaching under the table, I took hold of his hand, just letting him know that I was there. His fingers wrapped around mine, telling me that not only did he know, but that he appreciated me.

For the next hour, Edward and I filled them in on everything we'd learned, which wasn't much more than we'd been told when we showed up here three days ago. Outrage filled their features when I explained what Peter had told me about The Program, and I knew I'd have to face their wrath for keeping all of this from them. That was my cross to bear, one that I was getting used to. With the details of Dwyer's experiments, Angela covered her mouth in an effort to stop the bile from pouring out, while Ben, Jasper, and Emmett had looks of pure and utter horror on their faces. The torture the kids who found themselves in Dwyer's grips went through were enough to cause even the strongest of men to crumble.

"So, um, what you're saying is that this Dwyer is trying to turn children into, what? Some kind of stepford children, or something?" Jasper asked.

"From what I can tell from their files, which are seriously lacking a lot of facts, it would seem that's exactly what he was trying to do, though I don't think that's his plan now," I explained. "In the beginning, he only accepted children whose only choice was his program or jail. Now, after going through all of this, I think his first victim was a boy named Marshal Morrison. He'd been picked up by police in connection to half a dozen petty thefts, and destruction of private property. When Dwyer came waltzing onto the scene with this new cure for the troubled youth. The judge ordered Marshal into his program. A week later, he came out a new man, at least that how's it seemed at first. Six months after his stay with Dwyer, Marshal went out to his father's shed, grabbed an ax, and proceeded to slaughter his parents, six-year old sister, and two-year old brother."

"Jesus fuck," Emmett hissed.

"From there everything escalated. It wasn't until the fourth trail failed that Dwyer lost his funding and fell off the face of the earth. Now, The Program believes that he took his work underground. They've managed to link him to more than a hundred kids who went missing, and from the files on most of these kids, it's not a surprise that nobody noticed they were gone until it was too late. They came from poverty-stricken families, or were runaways whose parents had given up on them. They were the perfect target for a sociopath. I believe Dwyer sees himself as God, holding the power of the world in his hands. His arrogance makes him dangerous."

"And they don't know where he is?" Angela asked. "How'd a guy like Dwyer go this long without being caught?"

"Because he's a chameleon," I said, bluntly. "He knows how to blend and knows how to charm his way out of anything — something he takes advantage of. Dwyer has money; whether it's family money or something he'd made on his own, I don't know yet. He fears nothing because he believes that he's above it all. So far, he's been right."

"So, why are we here?" Emmett inquired. "Shouldn't we be out looking for him instead of holding up in this place?"

"According to Charlotte, there's a mole here in The Program, one who is tied directly to Dwyer," Edward explained. "They'd like for us to find out who is it."

"That's bullshit," Emmett grumbled. "They want us to help them after they practically kidnapped us? I don't think so."

"We're doing it," Carlisle said, speaking for the first time since they'd arrived. Everyone snapped their eyes to him; the grainy, rawness in his words had to have them on edge. He let go of my hand and pushed away from the table. "This is our only shot at finding Dwyer. We don't have to like it, but until we find our mole and get this son-of-a-bitch off the streets, then we're going to be here. If you don't like it, you can turn in your fucking badge now."

Kicking his chair away from him, Carlisle walked around the table and out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. I shifted my eyes over to Edward. He nodded toward the door, motioning for me to follow him. Standing up, I leaned in, brushed my lips against his, and left everyone questioning Edward over what had just happened. Carlisle was losing it, and right now, I was the only person who could help him.

I found him in gym. Carlisle was standing in front of the boxing bags, one hand on each side. "Hit it." At the sound of my voice, Carlisle snapped his eyes to mine. They were dark, filled with the haunting memories of another lifetime. "Do it, Car. Hit it. Smash the fuck out of it."

"It won't help," he groused, letting his arms drop to his side.

I walked over to bag, gripping the sides with both hands, and held it. "Hit it!" I yelled. "Now!"

"Bella," he gritted, the fear in his eyes glaring at me

"They held you down, Car, and made you watch while they raped her," I said, hating the words coming out of my mouth, but I knew him. He'd keep it inside until it boiled over and everyone in his path would pay. Carlisle flinched, his jaw clamping down so tight, I was afraid he'd break his teeth. "Did she beg you to help her?"

"Bella," he whimpered. "Stop."

"Did she look at you while man after man took their turn with her?"

Carlisle's arm swung up, his fist hitting just inches from my face. A look of shock sprung up on his face, but a moment later, he punched the bag with his other hand. Over and over he slammed his fists into the thick leather. His hair flopped down into his face, sweat poured down his cheeks, and his breath came out in heavy pants. After half an hour, he slid to the floor, bending his knees up in front of him.

"Feel better?" I asked.

Carlisle snorted. "No, but it's better than nothing, I guess."

"I know it's hard being away from Esme. I miss her, too," I said, sitting next to him.

Carlisle reached over and took hold of my hand, running his fingers over my bruised knuckles. His would match mine with the beating he gave the bag. "I tried to help her, but I was just a kid. Logically, I — I understand that. How many times have we reassured one that what happened to them wasn't their fault?"

"Too many," I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"She never cried, not one time. She didn't scream, she didn't beg them to stop." Carlisle shook his head. "She left me, Bella. The moment that first fucker touched her, she left me."

"I know, honey," I murmured. "But I'm not leaving you. Esme's not leaving you. You know that, don't you?"

Carlisle sighed. "I want to, but you're barely hanging on and I know it's my fault for bringing you back into the Bureau."

"No," I disagreed. "Things were already fucked up before that. The nightmares never went away, not really. Even though Edward could touch me, the thought of anyone being close had me cringing. I thought that maybe if I left, found something different that I'd be able to get some sense of control over my life back, but didn't work. Every day I wake up with dread of what will come at me."

"Bella, I know it's hard, but you can't hide from who you are." Turning to face me, Carlisle brought my hand up to his lips. "You were born to be a cop, it's too much of who you are."

I nodded, frowning. "I know, but the monsters just keep getting worse."

"They do," he admitted. "But if we don't stop Dwyer, how many more kids are going to fall into his trap?"

"One too many," I mumbled. "You need to call Esme. Talk to her about all of this. Just hearing her voice will help."

Carlisle grimaced. "That means talking to Lili, or that bastard Peter. I don't think I can be as calm as you were this morning."

I laughed. "Fucker should know better than to touch me."

"He doesn't care," Carlisle replied. "He lied to us for weeks, and even after we left Seattle, he swore that he'd told us everything just to bring us here and reveal more secrets. He was my friend, Bella. I trusted him. Well, as much as I trust anyone. But, still he betrayed me — us. Garrett and Kate nearly died because of him."

"I know. How about this? I'll talk to Lili about arranging a call to Esme for you."

Carlisle snapped his eyes up to mine, a mixture of hope and guilt filling them. "You don't have to do that, Bell. I'll be fine. Just need to get this case solved so we can get out of here. Being locked away like this . . ." Carlisle swallowed thickly. "It's hard."

"I know, honey, which is why I'm going to do this for you. I just need you to be strong for me, because I need you, Car." My last few words came out as a whimper.

"You know I love you, don't you?" he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. "You're so beautiful and amazing."

"I love you, too. And you're not too bad on the eyes either," I giggled through my tears.

Carlisle laughed before kissing me on the forehead. Standing up, he dragged me to my feet. Carlisle headed back to the others while I went searching for Lili. He may not like me doing this for him, but I wasn't about to sit back and watch him fall apart because he was a stubborn ass. Sometimes, we needed a little push, and for Carlisle, I'd take the bullet.

Lili wasn't really that hard to find. Her office was on the opposite side of the command center, right next to Charlotte's. Lili's door was open when I stepped in the door way. She had her back to me, working on her computer. I cleared my throat, pulling her attention to me. She looked over her shoulder and I almost laughed when I saw the bruise forming along her jaw. I should have felt guilty, but I didn't. She'd deserved it and worse.

"What do you want, Bella? I don't have time for a fist fight right now," she sneered.

"Carlisle needs to make a call," I said, getting straight to the point.

Lili scoffed, spinning in her seat to face me. "And why should I allow him to call out when he can't even be man enough to talk to me?"

"Can you really blame him, Lili?" I snarked, walking over and taking one of the seats in front of her desk. "It hurt him when you left, too."

"Did it really?" she asked, her voice dripping with disdain. "That's a bunch of shit, and we both know it. All he saw was you, Swan."

"That's bullshit and you know it," I muttered. "He went to bat for you more than a dozen times while you were on the job. Both of us did. How'd you and Connor repay us? You just left."

Lili leaned back and shook her head. "It's not like it was an easy decision to make, Bella. They offered to pay for my parents' care. I was barely able to take care of them on my own, and here The Program was paving the way for me."

"I would have helped if you'd asked," I said, quietly.

"I don't take charity, Swan, not even from you," she grumbled. "The Program offered me the chance to grow, to make something of myself that I'd never be able to do as a cop."

"You still could have told me," I retorted. "I thought you were dead, Lili."

"Lili is dead, for all legal purposes anyway. Outside of the people inside The Program and now your team, I don't exist."

I shook my head. "That's no way to live."

"What would you know about living?" She smirked. "You hide, Swan. After the Romanoff's took you, you stopped living." I shifted my attention to the floor. She was right, I had. "Every time things get hard for you, Swan, you run and hide."

"Maybe I do," I admitted, looking back up at her. "But at least I showed up at all. What have you done, Lili? Locked away down here like a rat."

"I'm saving the world." Standing up, she motioned for me to follower her, which I did rather reluctantly. Lili led me out to the command center. "See, Bella, we find the ghosts. The monsters that skirt by just under the line and nobody knows about."

"Yet, you can't find Dwyer," I chided. Lili frowned. "You will provide Carlisle with a secure line so that he can call his wife."

"And if I don't?" she challenged, pulling the attention of everyone in the room to us.

Crossing my arms in front of me, I said, "Then we're gone and you can find Dwyer on your own. There's not a one of you in The Program that can stop us from leaving, either."

Sighing, Lili's head hung in defeat. "Fine. It'll take me a few hours to get the connection secure. I'll bring him a phone at five. He can use it in the conference room."

"Good." Without another word, I brushed past her, making sure to hit her with my shoulder, and walked back over to the room where the rest of my team was working. They looked back at me when I came in. I shifted my attention over to Carlisle, and said. "Five O'clock, here."

"Are you serious?" he gasped, standing up. I smiled and nodded. Carlisle rushed around the table, throwing his arms around me. "Oh fuck, thank you, Bella. I owe you so much."

"Just remember what I told you, okay?" I whispered, brushing my fingertips across his cheeks.

Nodding, Carlisle said, "I promise."

He kissed my cheek before releasing me and heading back to his seat with a bounce in his step. Just knowing that he'd get to talk to Esme lifted a huge weight off of his shoulders. I walked over and took the seat next to Edward. He reached over and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his lips. Once again, Edward proved that he understood mine and Carlisle's relationship.

"So, where are we at?" I asked, looking around at everyone.

"At the bottom. We have the personal files from everyone inside The Program, including their psych evaluations, and fitness reports. We ought to be able to weed through a few of them just based on these," Edward explained gesturing to the mountain of files on the table.

"There have to be at least two hundred files here," I muttered.

"Yep, and unless we want to be here until Christmas, we'd better get started," Emmett groused, grabbing a handful. "I, for one, would like to see my family again."

"Me too, Em," I murmured. "Me too."

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry, for the lack of updates, but yeah, between real life and my work, it's been a nuthouse. Luckily, I've gotten all of my edits for Angel's Heart: The Keeper done and now, we just have to wait for the book to come out. Let me tell you, I am so excited about this one. It comes out in just two weeks, on the 24th! **

**Here's the Summary:**

**An age old prophecy, secret societies, and an enemy she doesn't know she has, Sophie Crenshaw thinks of herself as just being average. Along with her two best friends, Deva and Tabitha, Sophie sets off on what she thinks is a normal vacation. What she doesn't know is that everything she thought she knew about who she is, and what she can do, is about to change. Thrust in a world she knows nothing about, Sophie tries to find her true self, without losing her grip on her own sanity.**

**Henry Chang lives in world full of magic, where the stories over the legendary Angel's Heart are spoken in whispered conversations, and midnight meetings. His job is to protect the Heart, keep it safe from anyone who wishes to hurt it or its Keeper. In a divine moment, he's tied to the Keeper's heart forever. While trying to understand his own feelings, Henry does what he can to support Sophie, and keep her from falling apart. **

**With the help of Willow Crest, members, who are sworn to protect her, without ever meeting her, Sophie will struggle to get control of her feeling and new found powers. Or will it be too much for her to handle? Will their growing love give Sophie the strength and courage to face the greatest challenge of her young life?**

**Sounds interesting? So between getting it ready for publishing, and actually publishing Summer Confections, which just came out on June 19th, I've had to write yet another book. I know, I know, it's nuts! This is for the third book in the Candy Collection. It's entitled Harvest Treats and comes out in September. Anyway, I hope that you'll check out my books. **


	22. Chapter 21

Slamming the door behind me, I let out a menacing growl. Five days — five goddamn days and we weren't any closer to figuring out the identity of the mole. We'd been wading through hundreds of personal files, psych exams, and fitness reports, only to find ourselves with a dozen of possibilities. Of course, they were matched with the loose profile I'd come up in an effort to give us somewhere to start. Based on my evaluation of Phil Dwyer's files, I'd come to the conclusion that we knew nothing about this man — not really. Every step he took was planned, that much was clear, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make out his pattern. He was one of the most calculating people I'd ever studied, and it was pissing me the fuck off that I couldn't profile him — not accurately at least.

Huffing, I settled back in my chair, grabbing the closest file I could reach. It was just after five in the morning, and the underground compound was quiet — a little too quiet for my liking, but whatever. I'd left Edward asleep in our bed. Though he tried to hide it, he'd been spending most nights watching over me, trying to prevent me from having anymore nightmares. It didn't work, but I couldn't fault the man for trying, even if he was exhausted. After fighting it for a couple of hours, he passed out and I didn't have the heart to wake him up. So, instead, I left him a note letting him know I'd come down to our conference room and settled in to do some work. I wanted to go home, to our friends and families. I needed to get this case wrapped up and figure out the next step in my life.

I'd just grabbed a new file when the door opened, drawing my attention. Edward came in, his auburn hair ruffled and dark circles hung under his eyes. The charcoal gray T-shirt he wore was hanging on him, showing the weight he'd been losing since Garrett and Kate were attacked. Inwardly, I cursed myself for being selfish and not seeing how much all of this had been affecting him. After I left the FBI, Garrett had been his partner, someone Edward had to trust to have his back. Not only had I left him vulnerable in the Bureau, but so had Garrett by not trusting Edward when Lili first sent him the information on Phil Dwyer. If he had, we not have been in this position.

Closing the door behind him, Edward walked around the table to where I was sitting, pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. Sighing, he leaned over and kissed me chastely. "Morning, beautiful," he murmured, keeping his lips against mine.

I smiled. "Morning."

"How long have you been here?" he asked, bringing his arm over and slipping it around my waist. The tips of his fingers brushed across the sliver of skin that was exposed on my lower back.

"I don't know, what time is it?"

Edward laughed softly. "Just after six. I didn't much like waking up without you next to me this morning. It's starting to become a nasty habit, baby."

"I know, but I couldn't sleep, and I knew you were tired." The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. A dark shadow crept over Edward's face. "You worry too much."

"I do," he admitted. "You had a bad one last night. Do you remember it?"

Tensing, I nodded. "I was back in that shack, but this time you didn't get there and . . ." Trailing off, I shook my head. "Well, you can guess the rest."

Edward released a heavy breath. "Yeah, I figured as much. You were, um, pretty vocal about it."

"Sorry," I muttered, turning away.

"Don't be sorry," he scoffed. "I just wish I could make them go away. Guess I'm not doing a very good job of distracting you before we go to sleep, am I?"

The onslaught of images from the night before flashed through my head, causing my cheeks to redden. Edward had been primal, pressing me against the door to our room and ripping my clothes off before bending me over the side of the bed, and, well, helping me forget about a lot of things for a long time.

Falling back in his seat, he groaned. "You kill me when you blush like that."

"It's your fault," I giggled. "You were amazing last night, Edward. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try to stop them, the nightmares still come. It doesn't mean that you don't make me feel safe, baby, because you do. I can't control them anymore than you can stop them."

"I know." Edward sighed and leaned forward, placing his elbow on the table and resting his forehead on the palm of his hand. Reaching over with his free hand, he grabbed one of the dozens of files still in the middle of the table and opened it. "Find anything new this morning?"

"No, not really." I gestured to the handful of files that I'd searched through this morning. "None of these fit my profile, but that doesn't say much, does it? I mean, without a clearer picture of who Dwyer really is, we can't pinpoint what type of person would betray The Program and pass information to him."

"No, we can't," he agreed. "And anyone who could have gotten this far into The Program has to be smart enough to know how to blend in."

Before I could reply to him, the door opened and we both looked over to see Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela stumbling in through the doors. Each of them had their arms full of fresh fruits, boxes of cereal, cartons of milk, and granola bars. I almost laughed, but nothing was funny. Not a one of us felt comfortable sitting in the cafeteria, especially after Peter tried to "talk things out" with us the morning after Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela arrived. I'm not sure who Peter was more scared of: Emmett or Angela. While Emmett had more brawn than Angela, she had a woman's glare, and she was pissed. Fucker would learn one day to leave us the hell alone. He'd betrayed us and nearly cost Garrett and Kate their lives. We wouldn't be forgiving him anytime soon.

Carlisle placed a thermos in front of me, nudging me with his elbow. "Coffee."

"Thanks," I murmured, unscrewing the lid and taking a big whiff. There was nothing quite like the smell of freshly brewed coffee to make things just a bit better. "You look like shit."

"Hmm, thanks, the same could be said for you," he groused, falling into the seat next to me. "But then, I have more manners than to mention how shitty you look. For example, I would never say that you smell worse than Emmett's gym socks—"

"Hey!" Emmett exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

"—or that you've been wearing the same shirt for three days now," Carlisle continued, ignoring Emmett when he started pouting. "That would be rude."

"Well, as long as you aren't going to say it," I snarked, rolling my eyes.

"My gym socks do not smell," Emmett mumbled, pulling all of our attention to him. Jasper literally had to cover his mouth with his hand to prevent himself from mouthing off while Ben and Angela stuffed a handful of Cheerios in their mouths.

"Em, just last year I had to call in a hazmat team to clear out your locker after a suspicious odor was reported." Carlisle laughed. "Emily said she'd never…"

At the mention of Emily's name, all teasing and humor that had filled the room dissipated. She'd given her life for this case, for us, and here we were making light of the situation.

Sighing, Carlisle ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you think Peter killed her?"

"No," I said, even though his question was directed toward everyone. "Peter may be a lying, sack of shit, but he's not a killer. He doesn't have the balls for it. However, I do think someone close to us was involved in it. Perhaps, Mike or Tyler."

"Nah, I don't see them betraying us like that," Edward told us, drumming his nails on the table. "Sure, maybe when they first came up, but they're not the same douches they were then."

"Then who else?" I asked.

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. Someone from Emily's team? Mark or Denise? Maybe, someone from one of the departments that Peter's been laundering The Program's money through. What if they found out what he was doing and tried to get to him through Emily?"

"I guess, but I can't help feeling like we're missing something that has been right in front of us the entire time. None of this makes sense. Why would Dwyer try to take Garrett and Kate out? Garrett hadn't come close to finding Dwyer. And Kate was innocent, yet they purposely went after her. Was it just to provoke Garrett into rushing home?" I shook my head. "How has Dwyer managed to get through the system without ever being caught before? He has hundreds of crimes on his hands, yet nobody seems to be able to nail him for a single one."

"Right now, we need to focus on finding the mole," Angela said, gesturing to the files in front of us. "We find them and we get our answers."

Shaking my head, I replied, "I hope so."

—BR—

As the day went on, we found ourselves adding more potentials to the pile of moles than we were discarding. After a short break for lunch, Edward and I headed down to the gym to work out some of our frustrations on the punching bags. We weren't getting any closer to an answer, and it was taking a toll on all of us. We'd had our ups and downs — most of them caused by me and my inability to let go of the past — but never once in the four years since I came to the FBI had we'd found ourselves at a dead-end like we were right now.

"Okay, Swan, give me your best shot." Slamming his gloved fists together, Edward smirked and winked at me.

I shook my head; the cocky bastard actually thought he could take me. "Babe, are you sure you want to do this? I wouldn't want to make you cry again."

Edward growled, which was such a turn on. "I did not cry. You, being a fucking cheater, elbowed me in the eye."

"Pssh," I scoffed. "Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

Trying to be sneaky, Edward launched himself at me. However, I was quicker, and ducked out of the way, sending him spiraling to the floor. As hard as I tried, I couldn't keep the laughter inside. Edward took advantage of my moment of weakness and knocked my feet out from under me, causing me to fall on my ass. In a heartbeat, he was straddling me, pinning my arms to the mat. Again, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't turned on by him on top of me. Based on the glimmering sparkle in his eyes and the hard on pressed against me, I knew he was enjoying this position, too.

"Oh, baby, I thought you were going to kick my ass," he murmured, pressing more of himself into me.

I stifled my moan, and twisted my body, knocking Edward off of me. Scrambling to our feet, we began to sidestep each other, trying to find a vulnerable spot to attack. Edward had learned over the last few years that you don't leave yourself open to me when sparring. I smirked; the boy had finally learned.

"Come on, Swan, make your move," he purred, trying to seduce me with his words.

"Are you sure you can handle me, lover?" I cooed, matching his smooth, seduction with my own.

Edward's jaw tightened and he flew toward me, holding nothing back as he threw a left, then a right jab. They didn't hurt, and he wasn't angry — he was horny. I could read my man, and I knew just what he wanted. Over and over, I blocked his attacks, countering with my own. Our breath was ragged and heavy, our eyes never left each other's, and our bodies were yearning to be together.

Using my forearm, I prevented a strike to the side of my head, swiping Edward's legs from out from under him. Edward let out a yelp, grabbed my arm, and pulled me down on him. Before I could detangle myself from him, he had me on my back and his mouth was dominating mine. I moaned, this time not bothering to stifle the yearning I felt from him. Edward took advantage and thrust his tongue into my mouth.

"Oh, fuck." At the sound of the snickers coming from the door, Edward and I scrambled to our feet.

There in the doorway was one of the men who worked in the control room. I recognized him from his personal file. His name was Embry Call, a twenty-five year old graduate from MIT. According to his file, Embry was one of the best computer hackers in the country. Tall, dark, and eerie looking, he had his arms folded in front of his chest, and his ankles crossed. There was a look in his black, beady eyes that had me on edge, and I wasn't sure why.

He laughed. "That was hot. Seriously, the hottest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot, if you catch my drift."

"What do you want?" Edward gritted out, his arm sliding around my waist like he was prepared to take a bullet for me.

"The Commander is looking for you. She's waiting." Before either of us could respond, Embry pushed off of the doorframe and walked away.

"Son of a bitch," Edward muttered, letting his arm drop from around me. "I don't like that little shit."

"I don't either." Sighing, I turned to him. "Come on. I really don't want to deal with Charlotte right now, but let's get this shit done before she comes looking for us. I'd to have to kick her ass, too."

"You didn't kick my ass, baby. I had you just where I wanted you."

This time, I laughed and ripped my gloves off, tossing them into the basket with the rest of the equipment. "Lover, you may have had me where you wanted, but only because I allowed you to be there."

"I can't argue with that," Edward said, smiling. Wrapping his arms around me, he brushed his lips across mine. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered. "So very much."

—BR—

When Edward and I stepped into our conference room, we found ourselves in the middle of a standoff. Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela were sitting on one side of the room, while Peter, Charlotte, and Lili were on the other. None of them were speaking, opting to glare at each other instead.

"Nice of you two to join us, Agent Swan," Charlotte said, her tone flat and humorous. "Have a seat."

"Excuse me?" I scoffed. She turned her eyes to me, her perfectly sculpted eyebrow lifting in my direction. "I think you'd better adjust that tone, Charlotte. I don't answer to you."

"You do while you're in The Program," she snarked, gesturing to two empty seats.

"Well, then, I guess that's our cue to leave," I bit back. "Let's go pack, guys."

Charlotte didn't even wait until I'd turned toward the door before she yelled, "Wait!"

"Sorry, I didn't quite hear you." I reached back and grabbed the door handle.

"Please, just wait," she said, the politeness in her voice was almost nauseating. "We have a lead."

"On? Dwyer or the Mole?" I asked, folding my arms in front of me.

"Both," Lili said, sliding a manila folder across the table toward me. Sighing, I walked over and picked it up, flipping it open. Inside was a picture of a young woman with long, blond hair and bright green eyes. Her face was covered with freckles, and she had a dimple in her right cheek. She couldn't have been more than fifteen.

"Who is this and what is her connection to Dwyer?" I asked, passing the file over to Carlisle.

"Her name is Vanessa Hale. She was reported missing this morning by her parents, Rebecca and Royce Hale. According to them, she went to bed around midnight, but her bed was empty this morning, and there were no signs of foul play. From what we're hearing, the police are writing this off as a runaway. However, we feel differently. We believe that Dwyer may have abducted her."

"And what makes you think that?" Edward asked.

Lili leaned back in her chair. "Vanessa Hale is Kate Mitchell's younger sister."

**Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay, but, once again, real life sucked ass. Nothing quite like EVERY member of your family getting the stomach flu at the same time. Seriously, sucks ass big time! Then, once I started feeling better, I struggled to get this chapter written the right way. Not sure I am 100% in love with it, but, eh, it is what it is! Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for always being so supportive. I truly appreciate you all!**


	23. Chapter 22

It didn't add up. I'd poured over Kate's family after she and Garrett were attacked, trying to find any reason why someone like Phil Dwyer would go after her the way he did. Of course, that was before I knew who he was, but still, there wasn't a connection between Kate and Dwyer — was there?

Shaking my head, I said, "That's impossible. Kate's an only child."

Charlotte handed me a file. "Kate was a year old when she was adopted by Simon and Cheryl Denali. Her birth-parents, Royce and Rebecca Hale, were only sixteen when she was born. I'm not clear on the details that led to them toward giving her up for adoption, but just after Kate's first birthday, the private adoption was made official. Royce went on to become a doctor, while Rebecca owns a small dress shop. They were married ten years after Kate's adoption, and Vanessa was born four years later."

Taking a deep breath, I dropped into one of the chairs and opened the file. Picking up the photo of Vanessa Hale, I wondered how much of Kate's like had been a lie. Did she know that Simon and Cheryl weren't her parents? That she had a younger sister who looked almost exactly like Kate? Somehow, even with all her anger, I couldn't see Kate not making every effort to be a part of Vanessa's life. Family had always been important to her, which is why my leaving the Bureau hurt her so much. She thought of me as a sister and I'd abandoned her just like they had.

"So what makes you think Phil Dwyer took Vanessa Hale?" Carlisle asked, breaking through the silence that had filled the room.

"Well, besides the fact that she's related to Kate, surveillance tapes from Vanessa's high school captured him in the parking lot, loitering around her car."

"How long have you known that Kate has a sister?" I asked, my voice trembling as I looked up at Charlotte. She shifted her eyes to the ground, telling me everything I needed to know. "You've know this whole time, haven't you? You've been sitting here and waiting for someone to go after her?"

"Yes, I've known that Kate had a sister since Garrett joined the FBI, but —" Before she could finish speaking, I stood up and slapped her. Charlotte stumbled backward, while Peter and Lili moved to step in front of her.

"You knew and you didn't tell her!" I screamed. "How can you be so fucking cruel?" Edward reached out and pulled me back, stopping me from hitting her again. "I don't even know you, Charlotte. Not anymore."

"Everything decision that I make is for the best. How do you think Kate would have felt if I'd told her that her life had been a lie? She'd already lost her parents, to add to her pain would have crushed her."

"Lying to her isn't the solution," I bit out. "All you've done is lie to her, to us. You withhold information that is pertinent to the investigation, and then act like you're giving us this amazing chance to be a part of this fucking program. This is hell, pure fucking hell!"

"You're such a whiny, little bitch, Swan," Lili scoffed.

Snapping my eyes to hers, I heard Edward, Carlisle, and the rest of my team inhale a sharp breath. "I'm a bitch? Me? You put Garrett and Kate through hell to get to me; you lured us here and then had the nerve to ask us for help, yet I'm the bitch? Really?"

"Look, we should have handled this better. And yeah, you've had a hard time, but —" Once again, the sound of my hand connecting against skin echoed through the room. Lili grabbed her face. "Goddamn it, Bella, stop hitting me!"

"Then stop acting like you know me," I growled. "I'm not the same person I was in New York. Every time I love someone, they leave me. My parents, my sisters, you, and . . ." I trailed off and looked over my shoulder at Carlisle.

"And me," he said, dryly.

"Yeah, and you," I murmured.

"While all of this is touching or whatever," Edward groused, picking up the file I'd abandoned on the table. Edward refused to look at me, his jaw was set tight. He was pissed. "Can we please get back to the subject at hand? We have a missing girl and I, for one, would rather not waste any more time. You said something about a lead on the identity of the mole. Explain."

"As you know we've been monitoring all communications coming in and going out of the underground," Peter explained. "This morning, between two and four, all of our systems failed simultaneously." Pausing, Peter looked from me to Lili, and then said, "Lili was able to trace it back to inside The Program. Whatever happened, it came from inside the underground."

"Okay, so who was it?" Emmett asked.

"We don't know," Peter replied. "But we've narrowed it down to three people. Each of them was on duty in the command center overnight and had access to our databank."

Closing my eyes, I dragged my hand over my face. "And we're just now being told about this because?"

"We didn't think much of it until we got word that Vanessa was missing," Peter blabbered. "It's not the first time it's happened."

"How many other times?" Jasper asked. Of course we didn't have to really ask the question, it wasn't hard to understand that whoever our mole was done this before.

"A dozen times over the last two years," Peter mumbled, dropping his attention to the floor when we all sighed. Just one more piece of the puzzle that had been kept away from us. "We didn't think there was a connection until last night. They were sporadic."

"You're so fucking stupid," I hissed. "Everything is important. We've been drowning in files and if you'd told us about the blackouts, we could have cross matched the dates with your files and saved us several days' worth of work. But then again, none of y'all care about our time."

"That's not true," Lili said. "We just didn't . . . "

"Whatever, I don't want to hear it," I groused. "Who are they? Tell us everything, and I do mean everything, about them."

Lili rolled her eyes and walked over to the table, sorting through the files and pulling out three. "Alex Mirren has been with The Program for two years. He came to us from Detroit, after working in the gang unit for four years. Next, we have Zoe Gregory. She's been with us for three years, after graduating from MIT with a master's degree in engineering and finance." Lili shifted her eyes up to mine. "She might even be smarter than you, Swan."

"Nobody is smarter than me," I snarled, reaching over and grabbing the third file from her.

"Whatever you say," she muttered. "Lastly, we have William Dexter. He's only been here for about a year after he graduated from the University of Connecticut with a degree in forensic science."

"I'm assuming that you've got the three possible moles in interrogation rooms?" I asked, though I shouldn't have to.

"Of course we do," Charlotte scoffed.

"Good, then maybe you aren't completely incompetent," I snarled. Before she had a chance to argue with me, I turned and faced the rest of my team. "Ben, Ang — you take Alex. Em, Jas — you get William; and Car, Edward, and I will take Zoe." I looked over my shoulder at Lili. "Guess I'll see if she's smarter than me after all."

—BR—

Charlotte, Peter, and Lili didn't look happy when they stalked out of our conference room with their tails between their legs, but I didn't care. They'd been keeping shit from us since the beginning and it nearly cost Garrett and Kate their lives. And now Vanessa Hale's life was in danger. The minute the door was closed, everyone but Edward collapsed into one of the seats and released a heavy breath.

"This puzzle gets stranger with each piece," Ben muttered, pulling Alex's file over to him and Angela. "This guy is the poster child for functional life. Never been in any kind of trouble, graduated at the top of his class, lived the perfect life. Why would he get himself involved with someone like Dwyer?"

"We don't know that he has," Carlisle stated, scanning over Zoe's file. "On paper all three of these people look like the best of the best. Not a blemish on their records, or anything. But one of them has sold their souls to the devil and it's our job to find out who."

"We should be out there looking for Vanessa, not sitting in here babysitting a bunch of assholes," Emmett snarled. Picking up William's file, he stood up and walked out of the room. Jasper sighed and followed.

"Come on, Ben." Angela pulled on Ben's shirt, directing him to leave with a nod of her head, which he did.

"Guess that means it's our turn," Carlisle said, standing up. Edward nodded and started to walk past me. I reached out for his hand, but he pulled away from me.

"Edward?" I asked. He and Carlisle stopped, but only Carlisle looked over at me. "Edward?"

"I haven't left you." Edward finally turned toward me, anguish and pain spread all over his face.

"What?" I asked.

"I haven't left you," he choked out, covering his mouth with his hand. "You said every time that you love somebody they leave you. Bella, I haven't left you. Not when James nearly killed you; not when your parents betrayed you, and not when Demetri touched you. I've been here every day, begging you to love me, to let me love you."

"I didn't mean you," I mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry," he replied, dropping his hand to his hip. "But if you can't see how much I love you and how I'd give my life for you, then we'll never be okay."

"Edward?" I cried.

He walked up to me, placing his hands on each side of my face. "Baby, I love you. More than anything in this world, I love you. But I can't — no I won't — keep begging for you to let me in."

"I'm trying," I whimpered.

"Are you?" he asked, stroking my cheek. "Because it feels like you're pushing me away."

"I'm not trying to. I — I'm not."

"But you are," he whispered. Pressing his forehead against mine, he frowned. "I don't want to lose you. Fuck, I really don't want to lose you, but if you can't find a way to let me in, then I'm done."

Edward closed the distance between our lips, kissing me like I've never been kissed before. But before I could deepen the kiss, he pulled away from me and walked out of the room, leaving just me and Carlisle standing there awkwardly. Bringing my hands up to my mouth, I felt my knees give out on me and I dropped to the floor. In a heartbeat, Carlisle was at my side, holding me against him.

"I — I n — need him," I sobbed.

"Show him," Carlisle whispered. I looked up at him. "Bell, I loved you once. I thought you'd be the woman that I'd marry, have children with, but I wasn't man enough to stay by your side."

"Car," I mumbled.

"No, I wasn't, but Edward is. He's a good man, who loves you. Don't let him go because you're afraid of letting him love you."

Carlisle kissed my forehead before he stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me on my knees and alone.

**A/N: First, let me thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it more than you know. Now, I know it's been awhile between updates, and I have a million reasons why. First, I had major writer's block, then I had another short novella due on October 1****st****. Broken Hearts & Dusty Dreams will be released in December as part of Book Four of the Candy Collection, Sugarplum Dreams.**

**Then, I had two pieces due for two different compilations. First was the Fandom for Suicide Awareness. It's a cause that means a ton to me and I had to write for it. I will be posting it on FF starting on Nov 15. It will be a 29 chapter drabble-like fic that will be updated daily. The title is Shadow of a Shattered Life. **

**The other piece was an outtake of Cullen Ballet Academy for the StandUp4Katalina compilation. I will be posting that one on Jan 1.**

**Now, I can't promise that the next update will be soon, but I am going to try. I am doing NaNoWriMo this November and have to get 50K written in 30 days. Since I have another book due on December 1, I figured this would be great motivation.**


	24. Chapter 23

Somehow — and I wasn't sure how — I managed to drag myself off of the floor. Wiping my tears off my face, I tried to pull myself together. We had a job to do and right now I had to focus my attention toward what I needed to do. Edward and Carlisle were waiting for me outside of interrogation room two, though the tension between the two of them was palpable.

"Are we ready?" Edward asked, refusing to look up at me. My heart ached, but I knew it was my fault. He was right; he'd begged me to love him enough to fight through everything and I went and included him in with all the asses that had left me.

Nodding, I said, "Yeah, let's get this over with."

Before I could add anything more, Edward reached out and grabbed the door handle, pushing open the door. I followed him inside with Carlisle behind me. Zoe Gregory was a tall, thin, red-headed woman with large, brown eyes and soft porcelain skin. She was sitting with her hands folded neatly in her lap, her eyes were focused on us and she almost had a smirk on her lips. I didn't like her already.

Carlisle stood next to the door while Edward and I sat across of her. For several moments we just sat there staring at each other, trying to read each other's body language. She seemed calm and collected — almost too much considering where she now found herself.

"They tell me that you have quite the brain," I murmured, opening her file and scanning over the details. "Two master's degrees from MIT in the span of about six years. That's quite the resume for someone your age."

"I know," Zoe said, leaning forward and pressing her chin against the palm of her hand. "Which means I'm smart enough to know when someone is playing me so why don't you just cut to the chase and ask me already?"

"Ask you what?" I cocked an eyebrow at her.

Zoe laughed. "If I'm the mole passing on information to Dwyer, of course. That is why you're here, isn't it? To find out who's been passing on information to Dwyer?"

"Yes," I said. "Are you?"

Zoe smiled. "No, but I'm flattered that you think I'm capable of betraying my family like that."

"You can't really blame me, can you?" I asked. "You were on duty overnight when communications went down. And we know it was done on purpose, and from inside the command center. So again, I'll ask you, are you the mole?"

"Again, I'll say no," she replied. "And I don't think it was Alex or William, either."

"Why not?" Edward asked. "They both had ample opportunity."

"True, but neither of them is brave enough to betray The Program like that. Turning your back on the people who gave you a new start on life isn't something that can be done lightly. And while Alex and William are both intelligent, neither of them have the balls to make such a leap."

"So tell us what happened last night." Leaning back in my seat, I folded my arms in front of myself, an act that seemed to amuse Zoe.

"Okay. I'd just finished running a full diagnostic on the system when the screens started to blink in and out. I followed protocol and began backing everything up onto our back-up servers, but before everything could be transferred, the system went down completely. I called the Commander and tried to get the system to reboot, but everything I tried failed. After nearly two hours, the system suddenly started to reboot itself. Lili came in a few minutes later and told us all to leave. A guard escorted the three of us to our rooms and stood outside of our doors all night. Made it pretty clear that we were suspected of leaking information."

"What were Alex and William doing while you were working on the system recovery?" I asked.

Zoe sighed. "Alex was on the phone with maintenance, trying to find out of there had been a power surge in the area that could have caused the system outage, while William was searching through the back-up servers to see what we'd managed to transfer, and what had gotten lost."

"And?" Edward asked. "What had gotten lost?"

"Only the files about Vanessa Hale, and the video clips of Dwyer in the school parking lot. They were there before the outage, but the moment the system went down, all traces of them went away."

"There is always a trace," I muttered. "Do you run a full diagnostic on the system every day?"

"No, every other day," Zoe replied.

"And what was Alex working on before the system crashed?" I asked.

"He was supposed to be using a satellite link to monitor the Hale's house in case Dwyer tried to make contact, which he hadn't. At least not at that point."

"Supposed to be?" Edward cocked an eyebrow at her. "Was he not doing his job?"

Zoe sighed. "He was, but Alex tends to get a little . . . bored during the night shift. On more than a few occasions, I'd caught him patching unauthorized communications through an unsecured line so that he could talk to some girl he'd met online."

"And let me guess: you didn't report him." I sighed.

"No, I didn't," she admitted. Leaning forward, she placed her elbow on the table. "Alex is a street cop. He's used to infiltrating gangs, and taking them down from the inside. Then he comes here and he's put at a desk, and it drives him mad. How is he supposed to go from being on the street to being locked away in The Program like a rat?"

"You're in love with him, are you?" I asked.

Zoe snapped her attention to me, her body tensing. "Of course not. It's against policy to become romantically involved with co-workers."

"I didn't ask if you were involved with Alex, I asked if you're in love with him," I stated. Zoe shifted her eyes into her lap. "How can you be sure that you're not letting your feeling for him cloud your judgment on whether or not he's the mole?"

"Because I'm not," she mumbled. Looking up at me, she sighed. "Okay, yes, I'm in love with Alex, but A: he doesn't feel the same way about me, and B: he's not the kind of guy to betray his family. While he was on the street, he took a bullet for his partner, nearly cost him his life. In fact, to those on the outside, it did kill him. People who are willing to put their lives on the line for those they care about don't turn around and betray them in the next breath."

"Maybe you're right," I said, feeling Edward's eyes on me. In a lot of ways, he'd taken the bullet for me, and here I was pushing him away. Clearing, my throat, I went on. "What was William doing before the system crashed?"

"He was hacking the police databank to find out what they'd found when Vanessa Hale was taken. Forensics is his area of expertise."

"And did he find anything out?" Edward asked.

"I don't know. William is quiet, doesn't talk much unless you ask him a direct question. It wasn't my job to ask him. My job was to protect the system, but I guess I failed."

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "Before the system went down, was it sluggish? Were there signs that something was going to happen?"

"I don't know." Zoe sighed. "It was slow, but with all the power surges in the area that wasn't anything new. Um, crap let me think." Zoe paused and brought her hands up to her head, almost like she was trying to channel some sort of psychic connection. Gasping, she snapped her head up and looked at me. "Right before the system went down, two lines flittered across the screen. I didn't think much of it, but maybe that's when whoever hacked through the system gained access."

"Maybe," I murmured and opened her file. "It says here that you're originally from Iowa, an only child. Your father abandoned your mother when you were two months old, and she worked three jobs to pay the bills. How'd you manage to go to MIT?"

"Yeah, we were poor," Zoe snarked. "I didn't realize having to work your way up automatically meant a person was crooked."

I shifted my eyes up to hers. "It doesn't. But if I'm being honest here, out of the three of you, you're the only one with the knowledge to be able to shut down the entire system without leaving a trail of breadcrumbs behind you."

"I am not the mole!" she yelled slamming her fist on the table. "I had to work my ass off to even get into MIT, and then once I was there, I worked two jobs while pursuing my degrees. I do not betray my family, Agent Swan!"

"Feel better?" I asked. "Now that you've yelled and screamed like a three-year-old throwing a temper tantrum?"

"Fuck you," she hissed. "I don't like being called a liar or a traitor."

"Fair enough, but you have to see it from our view point." Pausing, I stood up and placed my hands on my hips. "Someone inside of The Program is passing information over to Dwyer. This person has aided and abetted in the kidnapping of a young girl who has done nothing to deserve what is happening to her. She's innocent, Ms. Gregory, and now she's in the clutches of a madman. Kate and Garrett Mitchell were dragged into a fight that they knew nothing about, and why? Because Phil Dwyer decided to target them." I looked down at Zoe. "So, again, I will ask you if you are the one passing along information to him."

"And once again, I'm saying that I am not the mole," she replied, calmly. "My mom may not have been able to give me the best of everything when I was growing up, but she taught me that faith, trust, and loyalty were important qualities to have. When I gave up my life to join The Program, I made a commitment to them. The people in this building, they're my family and I don't betray my family, Agent Swan."

Closing her filed, I picked it up and said, "For Vanessa's sake, I hope you're telling the truth. If she dies and I find out that you're the mole, I will make it my mission in life to see that you rot in hell."

Carlisle held the door open for me and Edward, allowing us to pass through first before following. Embry Call was standing outside of the door with a smirk on his face and I fought the urge to deck him. He was cocky bastard who rubbed me the wrong way, but right now, we had more important items to focus on. Spinning on my heel, I led Carlisle and Edward back to our conference room, aware of the way people were staring at us. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela were already inside when we walked in. Sitting in my usual chair, I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but we didn't get shit from our guy," Emmett said.

"Yeah, neither did we," Angela replied. "Though, to be honest, he didn't really talk to us much; just kept muttering under his breath about doing his job."

"William didn't say much, either," Jasper added. "How about Zoe?"

While Edward and Carlisle filled the rest of our team in on our conversation with Zoe, I kept my eyes closed and ran their files through my head. I'd looked at all three of their files at least a dozen times before today, yet nothing stood out to me. They were just three more that could be the mole, but at the same time, didn't fit the ideal profile.

Where Zoe had worked her ass off to earn everything she'd gotten, Alex had come from the typical middle-class family. He'd grown up in South Dakota, and his father owned a pharmacy while his mother worked as a nurse at the local doctor's office. He graduated top of his class and applied to the police academy. His record was clean; he'd gotten several accommodations for bravery before he joined the gang unit and started his first of several undercover assignments. Alex had taken a bullet to the shoulder when his partner's cover was blown during an undercover sting operation, and The Program swooped him up, declaring him legally dead and giving him a new station in life — one full of lies.

William came from Florida, the son of a doctor and lawyer; there wasn't much he yearned for. However, he still managed to graduate from the top of his class at one of the most prodigious private schools in the state of Florida and went on to Harvard, where he studied forensic science. He was barely out of college when The Program lured him into their web — once they faked his death by creating a car accident that nearly killed three other people.

"Alex admits to having been talking to some girl from the UK at the time of the crash, but won't reveal her name," Emmett said. Opening my eyes, I pushed away from the table and stood up, causing everyone to look over at me. "Bella?"

However, I simply held up my hand and walked out of the room and looked around at the command center. Lili, Peter, and Charlotte were standing outside of Lili's office, while another two dozen people were seated in front of the monitors. Half a dozen guards were standing just inside each exit. And that's when it hit me. The mole couldn't have been Zoe, Alex, or William; they were merely a convenient distraction to keep our focus off the real traitor.

"Bella," Edward said, coming up behind me.

"He was right in front of us the entire time," I mumbled. "Always right there."

"Who?" he asked.

Instead of answering him, I started running toward interrogation room two. Embry was no longer guarding the door and when I opened it; my worst fear had come to a realization. With a rope tied around her neck, Zoe was dead. Embry Call was our mole and he'd killed her.

**Thank you for all the reviews. It may be awhile before the next update, but I promise not to give up on this story. NaNoWriMo starts on Thursday!**


	25. Chapter 24

Bile rose in my throat as I fell back against the door and stared at the dead girl in front of me. Her eyes were open, and the rope was still tied around her neck. Embry had practically killed her right in front of us.

"Lock down The Program," Carlisle snarled to one of the guards who'd chased after us to the interrogation room.

"Sir, we can't do that without the Commander's permission," he blabbered.

I snapped my head over to the young, blond-haired kid and glared. He couldn't have been more than twenty; just young and dumb enough not to understand just how serious Carlisle was when he had that look on his face.

"You have a fucking murderer here. Lock the goddamn The Program down before he slips out," I shrieked.

The guard nodded and pulled his walkie-talkie up to his mouth, uttering the order to the command center. I pushed my way past him, Carlisle, Edward, and the rest of our team and raced to the command center. Everyone was standing around, trying to understand why we'd issue the lockdown, but not actually closing any of the entrances.

"Lock it all down!" I screamed, vaulting over the railing and landing on my feet. I scrambled from monitor to monitor trying to figure out what to press to lock the place up tight while everyone stared at me.

"Agent Swan, what is the meaning of this?" Charlotte groused, rushing out of her office.

I turned and looked at her as I pointed in the direction of the interrogation room. "Zoe Gregory is dead." Everyone gasped. "Your mole killed her and if you don't lock this place down, he's gonna get away."

"If he hasn't already snuck out," Edward added. "You know, seeing as you're too busy shoving your thumb up your ass to protect your own."

Charlotte closed her eyes and took a deep breath as the words tumbled from between her lips. "Shut it down. Lock everything."

A flurry of activity surrounded us at the sound of her command. An alarm rang and a bright red light began flashing. I turned back to the main screen and watched as schematic of the underground came up and the two entrances were locked. Dragging my hand over my face, I tried to calm my racing heart and addressed everyone gawking at me.

"Embry Call is your mole, we need to find him. Now," I ordered.

In a frenzy, the order was put out to everyone and people started searching the cameras for any sign of Embry Call. Dozens of guards came rushing through; trying to make sure the exits were truly secure. Charlotte motioned for me to follow her into her office. Sharing a look with Edward and Carlisle, I nodded and did as she asked. She shut the door behind me, and went to sit behind her desk. I couldn't understand how she could be this calm. There were a dead girl and a murderer on the loose and she acted like I'd just told her that tomorrow it would be cloudy.

"Bella —"

"Agent Swan," I groused, correcting her. "You've lost the right to address me as anything else."

Sighing, Charlotte said, "Agent Swan, how'd you figure out that Embry Call was our mole?"

Shaking my head, I placed my hands on my hips. "Because he's too fucking perfect."

"Excuse me? What do you mean?" she asked.

This time I sighed, but instead of answering her, I turned around and walked out of her office, knowing that she'd follow. Emmett, Jasper, and Ben were working inside the command center, searching through their many cameras in an effort to find Embry, but I had a nasty feeling they wouldn't. Something told me that Embry had a backup plan for just this situation. As always, he and Dwyer seemed to be two steps ahead of us at all times.

Throwing the door to our conference room open, I led Charlotte over to the table and dug through the pile of personnel files that were littered over the table. Grabbing Embry's file, I turned to face Charlotte and opened it.

"Embry Call, twenty-four years old and a graduate of MIT. He's an expert in computers, and can hack into any system. He grew up in a small town in Northern Maine. He graduated from high school with a near perfect GPA, which is enough to raise some red flags for me. But then you add in the fact that instead of using his gift as a computer hacker, he's working as a guard for The Program." Closing the file, I looked up at Charlotte. "I should have seen it sooner, but Embry was planted inside of The Program by Dwyer or someone who wanted to keep track of what you're doing in here."

"That's impossible," Charlotte scoffed.

"Nothing is impossible," I snarled. "Look at the facts. He could be doing anything, yet he's working here. Why would he agree to come in here and work as guard when he could be running the command center? Seriously, Charlotte, you never questioned why he so willingly agreed to come into The Program?"

"No. Embry wasn't needed there. He was needed in our security section, and regardless of what you think of The Program, we're not the enemy, Agent Swan." Charlotte walked over to me and pulled Embry's file out of my hands and scanned her eyes over it. "I never would have pegged him to be the mole."

"Why not? I asked. "What makes him different?"

Charlotte looked up at me. "Because I handpicked him. When he was at MIT, he hacked into the World Global Market and tried to transfer several hundred thousand dollars into a private account in the Cayman Islands. We were able to stop him, but I have to admit to being impressed with someone who could not only pull it off, but had the balls to do it. I tracked him down at MIT, threatened him with the usual bullshit before offering him a position here. I didn't have any open positions in the command center, so I placed him with security, figuring he could help keep our defenses intact. How was I supposed to know that he would turn against us?"

"Did you do a psychological exam beforehand?" I asked.

"Of course."

"We didn't I get it?" I bit out. Before she could reply, though, I brought my hand up. "You know what? Just forget I asked that. You don't seem to get that when I say we need everything on everybody, I meant we needed every piece of information you had on every single person connected to The Program." I shook my head and walked away from her. "Just know that your carelessness got Zoe killed."

As I opened the door, I heard Charlotte sobbing, but I couldn't seem to get myself to turn back to her. Leaving her inside the room to think about what her lies and secrets had cost her; I walked out into the command center. Emmett, Jasper, and Ben had pushed the people in front of them out of their seats and were controlling the cameras themselves. The problem was the underground was huge, easily almost ten thousand square-feet. If Embry managed to make it to the exits before we were able to lock the place down, I had a feeling we'd never catch up to him. He was just that crafty.

—BR—

Half an hour later, Edward and Carlisle joined us in the command center. While we'd searched every inch of the underground through their cameras, Edward and Carlisle had led every guard The Program had room by room. I knew before either of them said anything that Embry had managed to slip out undetected.

"I don't understand," Edward stated. "There are only two ways in or out of this godforsaken hole in the ground. How'd he get out without someone seeing him?"

"Who knows how much of a head start he had," Carlisle said, shaking his head. "He could have walked into the room and killed her the minute we walked away. It could have been the minute we turned our backs."

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes, replaying those few moments. We'd just gotten done talking to Zoe and found Embry standing outside of her door. Did I miss something? Were there any clues that Embry Call was going to walk into that room and wrap a rope around her neck and strangle her? He was cocky, self-assured. Why didn't I see it?

"Bell," Carlisle said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and found him kneeling in front of me. That's when I realized that Embry wasn't working alone. Even someone as cocky as Embry couldn't have done something like this on their own. He needed backup, someone to protect him once he went inside. For all he knew, we'd be right back. Standing up and causing Carlisle's hand to fall from my shoulder, I moved over to where Emmett was sitting.

"Move," I ordered, pushing him out of the chair.

"Fuck, Swan, a simple excuse me would have been nice," Emmett groused.

However, I ignored him as I backed the security tapes focusing on the interrogation room back until before Edward, Carlisle, and I went into talk to Zoe. Edward showed up first, and Embry wasn't there. From the angel of the camera, I could see two people standing just down the hallway, but their faces were just off camera, making it impossible for me to make out who they were.

A moment later, Carlisle and I showed up, and the three of us went into the room. Less than ten seconds later, one of the people down the hallway started walking. It was Embry. He stood next to the door, hands shoved into his pockets and a smirk on his face. My hand twitched with the urge to punch the screen in front of me.

An hour later, the door to the interrogation room opened and Edward, Carlisle, and I walked out, glaring at Embry before setting off in the opposite direction. Embry waited almost two whole minutes before he looked back down the hallway, and nodded his head to whoever was standing down there.

"We need a feed that holds that angle," I said, not bothering to look away from the screen.

"On it," Jasper replied.

While he looked for a camera feed to give us the identity of our accomplice, I watched as Embry turned and walked into the room. A sickening feeling twisted in my gut knowing that he was committing coldblooded murder behind that door. Less than a minute later, the door reopened and Embry stepped back out of the room. He turned and looked right at the camera, winking before he turned and ran down the hallway. The son of a bitch knew we'd figure out it was him.

"Okay, here's the feed, but we still don't have a clear view of who we're looking for," Jasper huffed, switching my feed to the one he'd just found for me. He was right, of course. Embry's accomplice stayed in the shadow, just enough that we wouldn't be able to make out any distinguishing features. However, at the exact moment that Embry turned and nodded at them, they shifted their body, bringing an arm up. Their sleeve pulled up and I felt my heart stop for just a moment.

"Oh, shit," Carlisle gasped. "No!"

"Yeah, Car," I muttered, pushing away from the desk and freezing the picture. As clear as day, a small Celtic-cross was tattooed on the inside of our accomplice's wrist. I turned and faced him. "It's Lili."

"Where is she right now?" Edward asked.

We looked at each other before we went scrambling to find her. I checked her office first, though I knew she wouldn't be in there. Lili wasn't stupid — at least not stupid enough to be inside of her office. Ben stayed in the command center while we went searching for her. We found her inside of her bedroom, lying in the middle of her bedroom with her gun in her hand and bullet wound to the side of her head.

Clutched in her hand was a letter with my name on it. Not caring about contaminating the crime scene, I went over and pulled it out of her hand. I ripped it open and pulled out the note, reading it out loud.

"Bella, sacrifices have to be made, and sometimes, those we care about the most get in too deep. Sometimes, no matter how hard we want to save the world, the world refuses to let us. You think I left you behind, that I never cared about you. You're wrong. Leaving you, leaving Carlisle, was the hardest choice I ever had to make. I'm sorry for not being strong enough to withstand the pressure. Lili."

Letting the note fall from my fingers, I brought my hand up to my chest and took a shaky breath.

"Bell," Carlisle whispered.

"She killed herself because she knew that I'd put it together, that I'd find out that she was helping Embry and Dwyer," I muttered.

"Yeah, she did," Carlisle stated, squatting down next to me. He slipped his arm around my waist.

I looked over at him as a tear slipped down my face. "She left us again."

Nodding, he struggled to contain his own tears. "She did."

Standing up, I dragged my hands through my hair and looked back at Edward. Without thinking, I threw myself in his arms and crushed my lips against his. Pulling back just enough to speak, I murmured, "I love you, Edward. Maybe you're tired of fighting for me, but I will never stop fighting for you. One day, I'll be the woman you fell in love with again. Just don't give up on me."

"Baby, never," Edward vowed. "Never."

As Charlotte and Peter came rushing into the room, crying out at the vision of Lili dead on the floor, Edward, Carlisle, and I walked away.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry for the delay, but real life tends to be a bitch to me. For those who aren't reading Where Love Began know that I've had a busy couple of weeks between my daughter and a new book release. My daughter is feeling better, thankfully, and my new book, Sugarplum Dreams, Book Four of the Candy Collection, was release yesterday. You can find it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, in both ebook and paperback. Just search for it or Lisa Bilbrey. Or, if you just want the ebook version of my story, you can find it, too. It's called Broken Roads & Dusty Dreams.**


	26. Chapter 25

The Program was buzzing with the news of their deaths as Zoe and Lili's bodies were removed from the underground. The team and I stood outside of the conference room while those around us wept, mourning the loss of their dear friends. A shiver raced through me; who knows what The Program would do with their bodies. As far as the outside world was concerned, neither Zoe nor Lili existed.

Lili had brought us into The Program knowing that she was working with Embry and Dwyer. Was this her way of trying to ask for help? All those times when she reached out to me, tried to get me to talk to her, was she was trying to tell me that she'd gotten in too deep with the enemy? Maybe if I'd just listened to her once, she would still be alive. But then again, maybe if she hadn't betrayed The Program in the first place she wouldn't have had to reach out to me. There would always be a list of what ifs.

Turning, I walked into the conference room and went straight up to the white board, pulling off Dwyer's picture. He'd taken too many lives, left too many people suffering in the wake of his massacre. Now that our job here with The Program was done, we needed to turn our focus on finding Dwyer before he could tear one more family apart. We owed Garrett and Kate at least that much.

"Go pack," I said, turning and looking at the rest of the team. "We're getting the fuck out of here. We're going to find Dwyer and Embry, and we're gonna make sure they pay for every life they've taken."

"Last time I checked, Swan," Carlisle replied, smirking, "I'm the leader of this team. I give the orders."

"Not this time," I muttered. Tossing Dwyer's photo on the table, I added, "He made this personal to me."

"For all of us," Carlisle agreed, turning to everyone. "You heard her. Let's get the fuck out of this shithole."

With a nod of their heads, everyone agreed and we headed down to our rooms to pack our belongings.

Half an hour later, Edward and I joined Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela in the command center. Peter and Charlotte were standing outside of her office, neither of them looking surprised that we were leaving. They'd asked us to come find their mole and we'd done that — even if it did end up costing two people their lives.

"There are two black SUV's parked three blocks south of here," Charlotte said, tossing me the keys. "I'd offer you our help, but I know you wouldn't take it."

"You're right, we wouldn't," Carlisle deadpanned. "You've held back vital information about Dwyer and everything connected to him. If we'd known about Vanessa Hale, we could have arranged for protection for her and her family. Let's just hope you haven't cost her, her life."

"Carlisle," Peter started, but clamped his mouth shut when I pushed past Carlisle and headed toward the exit.

"Fuck off, Director. None of us give a shit what excuse you want to use this time."

The guard at the door seemed to hesitate before he stepped out of the way and opened the iron door that would lead us through the small, danky tunnel and back into the diner that sat on top of The Program. Once we were outside, I could feel the tension rolling off of all of us. We'd hadn't seen the outside world in over a week, and it had put us on edge. The warm, humid Houston air wrapped around us and the sun had just started to set and the lights of the city were beginning to turn on. Running my hand through my hair, I looked back at our team, motioning for them to follow me.

Just as Charlotte said there would be, three blocks south of the diner were two Government issued SUV's. Tossing one set of keys to Emmett, I stowed my bag in the back of the first one and waited while everyone else got their stuff put up before I addressed them.

"We need to go to the Hale's, find out everything we can about them and Vanessa, see if we can figure out why they gave Kate up for adoption." Pausing, I took a deep breath. "When we break this case open, and we will break it open, we're gonna sit down and hash out our issues. But for now, we're going to do our jobs. I trust all of you with my life; I hope you can trust me in return."

"It's never been that we don't trust you, Swan," Jasper stated. "It's that you won't let us help you. You accuse us of putting the weight of the world on your shoulders, but what you don't see is that we're standing here, trying to help carry the burden."

"Yeah?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him, Emmett, Ben, and Angela.

"Yeah," Emmett said.

Nodding, I tried to keep the tears from falling, but when he reached over and brushed one off of my cheek, I knew I'd failed. "I feel them on me: touching me, hurting me. I can hear those girls still begging for my help, pleading with me to save them. There's not a night that goes by that I'm not haunted by them. Tell me how to share that with you? Because I would love to be able to sleep at night without worrying that I'm going to have a nightmare and lash out at Edward."

None of them said a word.

"I know you think I'm not trying, but I am. I wasn't prepared to come back to the job. Even though you think I shouldn't have left, I did. It wasn't easy, either. You were my team, my family, and I had to stand in front of you and admit that I wasn't strong enough to come back. If you knew me at all, then you'd know that admitting my weakness isn't something I can do easily."

"We're still your team," Emmett replied, shifting his eyes up to mine. "You said we were your team, as in past tense, but we never stopped being your team, Swan. We never stopped being your family."

"Feels like you have," I muttered, wrapping my arms around my torso. "I've let everyone down, right? Rose, Alice, my parents, Ed, Liz," I shifted my eyes over to Carlisle, "Esme and the girls? You can sugarcoat it all you want, but Kate blames me for letting this happen to her and Garrett. What do you think they're going to say when they learn that the only reason Lili sent that shit to Garrett in the first place was to get to me? Do you think she's not gonna blame me even more?"

"That doesn't mean it's your fault," Edward said, bringing his hand up to my cheek. "Kate's angry, but just because she's putting the blame on you, doesn't mean it's your fault."

"Doesn't mean it's not either," I mumbled. "I'm going to deal with this, but right now, I need to focus on getting our job done so we can go back home. It's all I can do right now."

"That's all any of us can do," Carlisle stated. "I, for one, would like to go home and see my wife and daughters, so let's get over to the Hale's."

"Yeah, I'd like to see Rose and the boys before they forget who I am," Emmett muttered, spinning the keys around on his finger.

—BR—

Once we were loaded inside of the SUVs, after making sure that we weren't being followed, we headed toward the Hale's house. Royce and Rebecca Hale lived just southeast of Houston on Galveston Island. Half an hour later, we pulled up in front of their colonial style beach house. Climbing out from behind the wheel, I automatically placed my hand on my gun, searching our surroundings. I don't know why but I almost expected Dwyer to jump out of the shadows. An eerie feeling crept over me, but I tried to shake it off.

"Doesn't look like anyone's home," Carlisle murmured, shifting his eyes around.

"No, it doesn't," I agreed.

Carlisle led the way up the front walk. The door was cracked open. Looking back at me, he sighed before he reached out and pushed the door open. I slipped inside, leaning against the wall and looking around. The house appeared to have been ransacked. Books and pictures had been thrown onto the floor; the cushions had been ripped to shreds.

"Hmm, guess we know who did this, don't we?" Emmett muttered, walking past me so we could search the rest of the house. "Think Vanessa's parents are here?"

"If they are, they won't be alive," Edward said.

Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela searched upstairs while Edward, Carlisle, and I took the first floor. Royce and Rebecca Hale were nowhere to be found. Just like in the living room, the kitchen, dining room, and all of the bedrooms had been ransacked. While everyone searched through the rubble, I stood in the middle of the living room and closed my eyes, trying to imagine what life must have been like before the Hale's left.

From the files we took from The Program, I knew that Royce Hale was a tall, muscular man with wavy blond hair and deep, blue eyes. Opening my eyes, I could almost see him sitting on the sofa with the paper propped up in front of him. Rebecca Hale, a tall, thin woman, with honey-blond hair and baby blue eyes, would set a cup of coffee on the end table, leaning over and pressing her lips against his cheek. Though, Royce Hale turned his head and captured her lips in a searing kiss. Rebecca Hale would laugh and allow Royce to pull her into his lap.

Vanessa Hale, the spitting image of her mother, would flitter down the stairs, groaning at the site of her parents kissing. She'd scowl, but secretly she'd love the way her parents were still able to find little ways of showing each other how much they loved each other. Vanessa would pout, begging her father for money to go to the mall and ask to borrow the keys to his car. Royce would grumble, but hand them over.

"Bella." At the sound of Edward's voice, I looked over at him. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs, frowning. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I muttered, clearing my throat. "What do we know about Royce and Rebecca Hale?"

"Not much," Emmett replied, tossing one of the torn cushions back onto the busted sofa. "Their file doesn't tell us where they grew up, where they went to college, what their families were like. I don't know, but something tells me that Royce and Rebecca went to great lengths to keep their past hidden."

"From who? Dwyer?" Jasper asked. "What is his connection to the Hales?"

"Who the hell knows," Angela said. "We don't know any more about Dwyer than we do about the Hales, right? For all we know, Royce, Rebecca, or both of them could be a part of Dwyer's inner circle."

"Or they could have been a part of one of his trials," I speculated. "What if Royce or Rebecca's treatments were successful? What if that's why Dwyer's after them? He wants them because they were a success."

"Maybe, but without any proof, we can't know for sure," Carlisle stated. "None of this gets us any closer to finding Royce, Rebecca, or Vanessa Hale. For all we know, they're dead."

"Let's hope they're not," I muttered.

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I turned and walked up the stairs. I stopped outside of Vanessa's bedroom first. Her room was very reminiscent of the average teenage girl: lots of posters of the hottest bands, tons of CD's, and a lot of clothes. Of course, much like the rest of the house, Vanessa's room had been ransacked. However, while everything in Vanessa's room had been destroyed; one photo was still hanging perfectly on the wall over her bed.

I walked over and pulled it off. The black and white photograph was of a large football field. Two goal posts were on opposite sides of the field, and white, chalky lines marked the yard-lines. Turning it over, I found a note taped to the back that had one word written on it: beginning.

Turning, I carried the photograph out of Vanessa's room and walked into Royce and Rebecca's room. Just like their daughters, the master bedroom had been trashed, and only a single photograph hung on the wall. This one was of a cliff, overlooking an ocean. Just like the one in Vanessa's room, it was black and white. When I pulled it off of the wall, I found another note on it with one word written on it: Time.

Slowly, I made my way through each room, finding a simple photograph hanging on the wall: various scenes of empty fields, mountain ranges, and sparkling city lights. Once I had all of them, I took them back into the living room and laid them out on the floor. I had a total of ten words: More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, the.

"What the hell is all of this?" Edward asked, kneeling down next to me.

"I don't know," I muttered, trying to figure out the order of the words. "More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, the. I don't understand what this means."

"It's a bunch of fucking gibberish," Emmett snarled. "This entire case has been nothing but a bunch of riddles. How are we supposed to figure this out?"

"I don't know, man," Jasper groused. "Maybe we're not supposed to."

Ignoring them as they, Ben, and Angela continued to mutter under their breaths about how impossible this case was, I turned the photos over and studied them, trying to figure out what they meant. Of course, in order to do that, I'd have to be able to understand the mind of a sociopath. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Dwyer left these for us to find, I just didn't know why.

"The football field is old, tarnished looking. It could represent time, maybe," I murmured to myself. "The ocean is endless, it could be beginning of something. I don't know. Then we have New York City, what does that mean? Time or maybe liberty?"

"Liberty sounds more like it," Carlisle said, kneeling next to me.

"The liberty of time is the beginnings will bring future," I mumbled. "No, that doesn't make sense."

"She sounds like rain man," Emmett snickered, under his breath. I snapped my head up and glared at him. "Sorry."

"There's a message here, and I'm trying to figure it out," I snarled. "You want to try?"

"No," he mumbled.

"Then shut your fucking mouth and let me do my job. After four years together, you'd think you'd realize that this is how I work, you asshat."

"I'm sorry, okay!" he exclaimed, throwing his hand up. "I'm just confused and tired."

Closing my eyes, I took a calming breath. "Look, we're all tired, and we're all confused."

"Let's just pack up and head to a hotel for the night. We'll regroup in the morning," Carlisle suggested.

Sighing, we all agreed. I stood up and grabbed all the photographs. Emmett gave me a look, but didn't say anything as I carried them out of the house and loaded them into the back of the SUV. Forty-five minutes later, we'd driven back into Houston and managed to find a dinky hotel on the edge of the city. Emmett and Jasper grabbed a room, as did Ben and Angela. However, Carlisle, Edward, and I ended up sharing the last vacant room they had.

"Well, this shouldn't be awkward," I muttered, carrying the photographs into our room.

"Not like we've never shared a room before, Bell," Carlisle laughed.

"Yeah, well, the last time we had that traitor with us and none of us exactly slept, now did we?" I jibed.

"No, we didn't," Carlisle groused.

The room we rented was shitty — that was really the only way to explain it. The two full size beds looked at least twenty years old, as did the comforter, the carpet, and the drapes. But, beggars couldn't be choosers and right now, we needed to stay on the down low. Edward tossed our bags on one bed and stretched his arms over his head.

"Something tells me these beds aren't going to be any more comfortable than those shitty beds in the underground," he mumbled.

"No shit," Carlisle said, sitting on the edge of his bed. I set the photos up in the order that I found them in the house, and sat down next to Edward. "You're gonna drive yourself mad trying to figure that one out, Bella."

"Probably," I admitted, "but you know me, I can't let it go."

"Yeah, we know." Edward leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'm gonna take a shower. Don't be brilliant without me."

"I'll try not to," I giggled, looking over at him. Grabbing the front of his shirt, I pulled his lips down against mine. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered.

Edward grabbed his bag and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I turned back to the photos, ignoring the smirk coming off of Carlisle. Once we heard the water in the bathroom turn on, Carlisle slid off of his bed and sat next to me. Bumping me with his shoulder, he laughed when I blushed.

"Shut up, you jerk," I grumbled.

"You're so cute," he snickered. I rolled my eyes and looked over at him. "You're gonna be okay, Bell."

"You think so?" I asked. "Because I'm still feeling a little bat-shit crazy right now."

"I never said you weren't crazy," he teased. I shook my head. "But, yeah, I think you're gonna be okay."

"Why do you believe in me so much?" I wondered.

"Because I love you," he replied.

Laying my head on his shoulder, I sighed. "I kind of love you, too." Carlisle laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist. "When are you going to call Esme?"

"In the morning," he murmured. "She's probably busy trying to get the girls into bed right now."

"I'll get you home soon, Car," I whispered, hearing the longing in his words. "I promise."

"I know you will," he mumbled. "Just miss them so much."

"Me too," I sighed, looking back at the photos. "Me too."

Somehow, I'd keep my promise to Carlisle. I'd make get him back to his wife and daughters and I'd see to it that Emmett got back to Rose and the boys, and Jasper found his way back to Alice. And somehow, I'd find Phil Dwyer and Embry Call. When I did, I'd make sure they paid for every person they'd ever hurt — one way or another.

**Thank you for all the reviews. This thing is getting more and more complicated, isn't it? Good thing I know where I am going with this, right? Right? I mean, of course I do! No, seriously, I do. I have an outline and everything. Happy Holidays to everyone!**


	27. Chapter 26

_I was standing in the middle of a large, empty room. Looking around, I searched for the way out, or at least for someone to tell me why I was there, but all I could find was penetrating darkness and eerie shadows. _

"_Bella." The sound of Lauren's voice caused me to cry out. I shifted my eyes to my left and found her standing a few feet away from me. There was a light showcasing her, almost like it was encasing her in its prison. Her long, blond hair was matted with blood, and the cut on her neck was still oozing blood out. "You were supposed to save me," she sneered. "You promised to help me and it got me killed!"_

"_No," I whimpered. "They killed you, not me."_

"_Didn't you?" she countered. "I needed you, Bella, and you failed me — just like everyone else in your life."_

"_Isabella," James Sanders called. _

_Closing my eyes for just a moment, I opened them and looked to my right. James stood under a light similar to the one shining down on Lauren. Just as he was the last time I saw him, when he kidnapped me with the intent of making me his, James was only wearing a pair of jeans, the top button and zipper had been lowered, nearly leaving him exposed to me. A bullet wound in his chest was the only difference. _

"_Isabella, why'd you leave me again? I need to feel you. Please, come back to me," James pleaded, reaching out for me._

"_Leave me alone," I screamed, stumbling backward. James and Phil's victims called out to me, begging me to save them, accusing me of letting them die. I dropped to my knees and screamed once again. "Just leave me alone!"_

"_Agent Swan," Phil Dwyer cooed. "You look delicious, Agent Swan."_

_I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, sending a shiver of disgust through me. Turning on my knees, I reached for him, but my hand touched nothing — nothing but the cold air around me. Dwyer's laugh echoed through the room once again._

"_You can do better than that, Agent Swan," he taunted. "I've told you everything you need to know. Why haven't you found me? Guess you're not that good, are you?"_

_In a mad rush, Lauren, James, and everyone else calling out to me, came rushing at me, pulling on my arms, trying to get me to go with them. I cowered away, trying to protect myself from their touch, but failed when their nails dug into my skin._

"_Leave me alone!" I screamed, grabbing my hair._

"Bella!" Edward yelled, tearing me out of my nightmare. Snapping my eyes open, I found him straddling me; his hands were wrapped around my wrists in a vain effort to keep me from hurting myself. "You're okay."

"Get off of me!" I screeched, pushing him away. I scrambled off of the bed and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me and falling to my knees in front of the toilet. My tears dripped into the bowl, mixing with the little bit of dinner I'd managed to eat the night before. Falling back against the wall behind me, I brought my knees up to my chest.

"Bella, baby, are you okay?" Edward asked, through the door.

"I — I'm fine," I replied, the tremor in my words giving me away.

The door to the bathroom opened and Edward and Carlisle came in, both looking cautious and scared. Edward grabbed a washcloth and wet it before they sat down in front of me. Edward brought the cool rag up and wiped my face off, brushing my hair out of my face. That's when I saw the claw marks on his arms.

A strangled sob erupted from my chest as I grabbed his hand and pulled his arm in front of me. "I did that."

It wasn't a question, but Edward answered anyway. "You didn't mean to."

"But I still did," I cried, bringing his hand up to my cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Edward whispered. "It wasn't you, not really."

"Bell, tell us what happened." I turned and looked at Carlisle, noticing that he had scratch marks on his face. Not only had I lashed out at my husband, but my best friend, too.

Ducking my head from them, I whimpered. "I don't know. They were screaming at me, accusing me of letting them down."

"Who was?" Edward asked.

"Everyone I've ever hurt," I whispered. "Lauren, Lili, Emily, everyone that I failed to save."

"You didn't fail them," Carlisle disagreed, grabbing my free hand and bringing it up to his lips. "Bella, you can't save everyone. You know that."

"I know," I murmured. "It was so real — too real. I — I don't know."

"It's okay, love," Edward whispered, sliding me onto his lap and pressing his lips against the side of my head. "We're going to find Dwyer and everything is gonna be okay."

"I hope you're right," I wept. "I really do."

"Me too," Carlisle groused, before standing up and leaving Edward and I alone.

"I — I need to take a shower," I grumbled, still feeling everyone clawing at me.

"Do you want me to join you?" Edward purred.

I blushed. "I'd love you, too, but not with Carlisle in the other room. It's already awkward to be sharing a room with my husband and ex."

Edward smiled. "Good point. You get in the shower and I'll put your clothes on the counter."

"Thank you," I whispered, talking about more than just grabbing my clothes.

"You're welcome," Edward echoed, kissing me. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

I stood up and waited until Edward walked out of the bathroom before I turned on the water and started stripping my clothes off. Looking at myself in the mirror, I sighed. Dark, heavy circles hung under my eyes, just more evidence to the sleep I'd lost over the last few weeks. My arms were covered in scratches and bruises had already started to form around my wrists from where Edward had held me down once again. My eyes fell to the thin scars wrapping around my chest. Bringing my hand up, I dragged my fingers over them, the sound of the whip whizzing through the air echoing inside of my head.

"Get a grip, Swan," I muttered. "You're gonna lose everyone if you keep this shit up."

Turning from the mirror, I pulled the shower curtain back and climbed inside, letting the scalding hot water wash over me. The feel of their hands groping me, tearing at my skin sent a shiver through me. I clamped my lips together, stopping the scream from tumbling out once again.

A moment later, I heard the door to the bathroom open again. Edward laid my clothes on the counter and closed the door behind him. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down and get a grip. Having yet another meltdown wasn't going to help instill faith with the team that I wasn't losing my mind.

Ten minutes later, I'd managed to shower, dry off, and dressed in the simple jeans and white T-shirt Edward brought me. Wrapping my towel around my hair, I walked back into our room, finding Edward sitting on the edge of our bed while Carlisle sat on his with his cellphone pressed against his ear. Leaning forward with his elbow on one knee and his forehead pressing against the palm of his hand, I knew he was talking to Esme.

"I know . . . I'm trying . . . Soon, I hope. I really can't say for sure," Carlisle murmured, trying to keep his voice low. He shifted his eyes up to mine and frowned. "I miss you, too, Esme. Give the girls a huge and kiss from me, okay? . . . I love you, Esme . . . I promise. Goodbye." Carlisle sighed as he snapped his phone shut and tossed it onto the bed.

"Everything okay?" I asked, using the towel to wring out as much moisture out of my hair as I could.

"No," Carlisle scoffed. "Esme's trying to be understanding, but it's already been almost two weeks since we left Seattle, Bella. Izzy's been questioning her on when I'm coming home, if we're getting a divorce. Abby's too little to ask, but Esme says that she's started waking up in the middle of the night again. I don't know what to do."

"Go home," I said, causing him and Edward to snap their attention to me. I moved over and sat down next to Carlisle and grabbed his hand. "You need them, and they need you."

"I can't just leave," he argued. "We're in the middle of an investigation."

"We are," I agreed. "But you can't put this case before your girls and Esme, Car. It'll drive you insane. Trust me, I speak from experience."

"Bell," Carlisle whispered, shaking his head.

"It's okay," I murmured. "Just tell them that Edward and I love them and we'll be home soon."

Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, nestling me against his chest. "I love you, Bell. Be safe, okay? Just . . . be safe."

"I will be," I whispered, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "I love you, too."

Carlisle stood up and started gathering his stuff, shoving it into his luggage. The smile on his face told that I'd been right to push him to go home. Twenty minutes later, Carlisle, Edward, and I met everyone by the SUVs Charlotte had issued to us. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela dropped their bags next to the car and looked from me, to Edward, and finally to Carlisle, their eyes going wide when they saw the scratch marks on his face.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Emmett roared.

Carlisle shifted his eyes to me, before replying with a simple: "Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing," Angela commented, stepping up to him and grabbing his chin, trying to get a closer look. "They look pretty nasty."

Guilt filled me once again. Trying to stifle the tears that sprang up in my eyes, I took a deep breath and said, "You're going home." Everyone looked over at me, but I focused my attention on Emmett and Jasper. "Carlisle's flying back, and you two should go with him."

"What?" Jasper snapped, shifting his eyes from me and Carlisle and back.

"You — you heard me," I stammered. "Carlisle needs to go back to Esme and the girls." I balled my hands into fists. "And you need Alice; Emmett needs to get back to Rose and the boys. I . . ." Taking another deep breath, I shook my head. "Ben, Angela, Edward, and I will stay here and see what we can get from the Biers. They're our closest link to Dwyer that we have right now. And depending on what we find out there, we'll be on our way back Seattle. So, go home. W — we've got this."

"No," Emmett growled, stepping up in front of me. His quick movement startled me and I stepped away from him, whimpering. "Bella . . ."

"Go," I choke out, placing my hand on his chest and pushing him, but he wouldn't move. "Em, just go. Please!"

"Bella," he whispered, covering my hand with his. I could feel my hand trembling under his.

"Go home, Em," I cried. "Go home to Rosie and the boys. Take her in your arms and kiss her, make sure she knows that you love her. Hold Miles and Judd; tell them—tell them that their Auntie Bella is okay. Please, for me, just go home."

"You're such a stubborn pain in the ass," he muttered, shaking his head. "Fine. We'll go, but damn it, Swan, if you get yourself hurt, I'm going to kick your ass. Do you hear me? Too many people need you—including me."

"I hear you, Em," I said, sniffling back my tears. "Tell Rosie . . . Tell Rosie I love her, and that I'm trying, okay? Please?"

Emmett nodded and leaned forward, pressing his lips against the top of my head. "I will. Just fucking be safe."

"Promise," I whispered.

Nodding, he picked up his bag and tossed it into the back of the SUV Carlisle was standing next to. Jasper sighed and did the same. Closing the back doors first, he walked back over to us.

"We'll start researching everything we can about Dwyer, see if we can't give you somewhere to go from here." Jasper paused and shook his head. "If you need us — even just someone to scream at, we're just a call away."

"I know," I muttered. Leaning forward, I hugged Jasper. "Take care of Ali for me, Jas. I need my sister to be okay."

"I'll try," he mumbled.

Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle loaded into the SUV and pulled away from the hotel. Dragging my hand over my face and through my hair, I looked over at Ben and Angela, both of whom were trying very hard to ignore the fact that I'd been an emotional basket case with the other members of our team. Right now, Emmett and Jasper weren't FBI agents to me, they were my brothers and I needed them to be okay, to make sure my sisters were okay.

"So," Edward said, clapping his hands together, "let's grab something to eat," giving me a pointed look, "and then we can head over to the Biers."

"Sounds like a plan," Ben stated, with a nod of his head.

"Let's just go eat," Angela added.

Once I'd checked us out of the motel, the four of us found a small diner just up the road and settled in a booth in the back. Our waitress, an older woman with more gray hair than black, came over to our table, asking what we wanted to drink while smacking the gum inside of her mouth. We each ordered a cup of coffee and waved her off so we could look over the menu. Though to be honest, nothing looked good. The menu was filled with greasy, fried foods that made my already sensitive stomach ache, but I would attempt to eat something. It was important to Edward that I at least tried.

Setting our coffee cups in front of us, our waitress asked us what we wanted to order. While Edward, Ben, and Angela went with eggs, pancakes, and bacon, I ordered a bowl of oatmeal and tried to ignore the look of concern on my husband's face. With a nod, our waitress gathered our menus and went to turn in our order. Edward slung his arm on the back of our booth. For several minutes, the four of us just sat there awkwardly, and stared out the window.

With a sigh, I shifted my attention over to Ben and Angela. "You understand why I sent them home, don't you?" I asked, the neediness in my voice was clear. I desperately needed Ben and Angela to understand, to see that I was trying to do what was best for our team.

"Of course we do," Angela replied, placing her hand on Ben's shoulder. "They've been away from their loved ones for too long, we get it."

"Yeah," Ben agreed. "Bella, Garrett was my partner and I won't rest until we find Dwyer and Embry and make them pay for hurting him and Kate. We're in this together."

"Yeah, together," I mumbled, wishing like hell I could believe him.

"So, did the pictures tell you anything last night?" Ben asked, trying to change the subject, but the moment his words trickled out of his mouth, all I could think about were the people who'd screamed at me for not helping them. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I swallowed against the bile rising in my throat and looked away.

Edward tightened his arm around me and answered Ben. "No, we're still not sure what the message with the photos is. Like everything else, nothing about this case makes sense."

"No shit," Angela scoffed. "I still don't understand how someone like Phil Dwyer could do the things he's done without getting caught. I mean, hell, he's murdered hundreds of kids over the last how many years."

"Seventeen," I murmured, replaying the first conversation we'd had with Lili when she led us into The Program.

"Exactly. Seventeen years and nobodies caught him. How? I just want to know how," Angela exclaimed.

"You and me both, Ang." I sighed, looking out the window.

Our waitress dropped our food by on her way past our table. While we ate, I thought about when I faced Dwyer in Garrett and Kate's hospital room. He'd been so sure of himself, calm and collected. He was fearless and that's what scared me the most. Someone who had the balls to walk past two police officers and into the hospital room of the people he'd just tried to kill had nothing to lose — that was dangerous for all of us.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Now, because this chapter just flowed and flowed and flowed, I opted to cut it in half. The next chapter is more than half way done and I am going to attempt to have it finished tonight. If I do, bonus update!**


	28. Chapter 27

Once we were done eating, we paid our bill and headed toward the Biers house. Of course, house would be an understatement. Pulling up outside of a set of iron gates, I pressed the button on the small intercom and waited for someone to greet me. A fifteen foot brick wall and a lot of well-placed shrubbery kept me from being able to see the entire house from the front gates.

"May I help you?" a cold, male voice trickled out of the speaker.

"FBI," I said, flashing my badge in front of the camera mounted on top of the speaker. "We need to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Biers."

"What's this concerning?" he asked.

Sighing, I rolled my eyes. "Their son."

"They've already told the FBI everything," the voice chirped.

"Well, they haven't told me, so open the fucking doors before I ram them." Of course my idle threat was just that, we didn't have a warrant and no reason to pursue one, but my gut told me that there was more to this case than we were being told.

"Fine," the voice gritted out and a moment later the gates began to open.

Rolling my window up, I shared a look with Edward, Ben, and Angela before shifting back into drive and pulling in through the gates. I drove around the circle driveway and parked in front of the house. It was easily five-times bigger than my parents' house in Forks, and that was saying something. Clearly the Biers didn't want for much.

I climbed out from behind the wheel and looked around. There were half a dozen cameras focused on the front of the house and driveway, and I suspected that if I searched all of the grounds, I would find that there wasn't much of the Biers place that wasn't under constant surveillance. That left me feeling uneasy and I wasn't sure why.

At the sound of the front door opening, I turned my attention toward it and found who I was assuming to be Mr. and Mrs. Biers. Alastair Biers was a tall, thin man with perfectly styled blond hair and dark, penetrating eyes. He had his arm wrapped around Irina Biers, an equally thin woman with long, silky blond hair and bright blue eyes.

"Mr. and Mrs. Biers, we're sorry to bother you," I said, walking up the front porch and offering them my hand. However, they merely glanced at it before turning their attention to Edward, Angela, and Ben.

"Please come in," Alastair droned, and waved a hand for us to walk past him.

Irina led us into one of the living rooms and gestured for us to take a seat. While Edward and I did as she asked, Ben and Angela stood in the doorway, their eyes flittering around the room and trying to take in as much as they could. Alastair moved over to a dark, oak cabinet behind the other sofa and opened the doors, and gestured to the many bottles of liquor sitting on the shelves.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer before he poured himself three fingers worth of brandy.

"No, thank you," I replied, biting back the added comment about it only being nine in the morning.

Alastair nodded before he came over and sat next to his wife, who'd crossed her legs and had her hands resting in her lap. "How may we help you, Agent . . .? I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name."

"I didn't give it," I said. "I'm Special Agent Swan. This is my partner Special Agent Masen and Special Agents Cheney and Weber," I added, gesturing to Ben and Angela. Alastair nodded again, but didn't say anything else. "We liked to speak to you about your son Riley."

"What about him?" Alastair replied, dryly. "He's dead."

"Yes, sir, we know," Edward started. "And we're very sorry about that."

"Why are you here, Agent Masen? It's been a year since our son was murdered, taking that son-of-a-bitch down with him," Alastair explained.

"His murderer hadn't been caught," I said. Alastair and Irina shifted their attention from Edward to me, surprise filling both of their eyes. "Who told you they'd caught him?"

"They didn't catch him," Irina told me, her voice full of sorrow. "The man who took our son was killed alongside Riley when he attempted to push Riley in front of the train. They both died."

They thought Connor had been the one to kill Riley? Shaking my head, I wondered just much more they'd been lead to believe.

"Are you saying that's not true, Agent Swan?" Irina questioned.

"Ma'am, the man who was killed alongside Riley was not the man who'd kidnapped him. He was . . ." I trailed off trying to decide the best way to explain Connor's position in The Program. "He was a cop, and he was trying to save Riley's life."

"Save Riley?" Alastair scoffed. "He wasn't in any danger until that man, that cop as you called him, kidnapped him before his treatment could be completed."

"What treatment?" Edward asked before I could.

Alastair sighed. "Riley had been having some behavior problems so we made the decision to enroll him in a behavior modification clinic in Colombia. He'd been there for five months when the clinic was raided by a man claiming to be part of an extremist group and Riley, his doctor, and several other patients were kidnapped. They contacted us, demanding that we pay a ransom, which we gladly would have, but before the money could be delivered, Riley was murdered. The doctor was able to save himself and the rest of his patients, but Riley was killed while fighting the man."

I wasn't sure what to say. The story they told was completely different than the one Lili and Charlotte had told us. Of course, who knew how much of what they claimed to be the truth really was. Neither Peter nor Charlotte seemed to think we needed to know every detail of the case and Lili betrayed us all. At this point, I wasn't sure who we could trust.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward and placed my elbows on my knees. "There was only one kidnapper?"

"Yes," Irina said. "Our Riley sacrificed his life for the others. He's a hero."

"And the doctor who was taken alongside Riley, what was his name?" I asked.

"Dr. Harrison — Dr. Malcolm Harrison," Alastair replied.

"And where is Dr. Harrison now?" It wasn't lost on me that the name of the doctor given to the Biers was the same name Lili used in the books she'd sent Garrett. Had she been trying to help us all along? Or was this just one more game she was playing with us?

"Last I heard, he was going back to Colombia to continue his work," Alastair replied. "After Riley was killed, Dr. Harrison came by. He told us that Riley had been an example of how hard work and little bit of faith could make the difference."

Nodding, I opened the file I had on Phil Dwyer and pulled out his photograph, offering it to Alastair. "Is this Dr. Harrison?"

Alastair took the picture from me and sighed. "Yes." He handed me the photograph back. "He was distraught over Riley's death, kept going on and on about him being a good man."

"Why'd you send him to the clinic in the first place?" Ben asked, drawing everyone's attention to him. "You said that he'd been having some behavior problems. What exactly was he doing that caused you to send him away?"

Irina sighed and shook her head. "The silly boy wanted to leave the family business to pursue a career in music. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? We'd told him so many times that a Biers simply does not behave so recklessly, but he was determined to make a name of himself. We had no other choice but to send him away, to help him get his head on straight."

I bit back several sardonic responses. Losing my temper with them wasn't going to help us right now. "He wasn't doing drugs? Drinking heavily? Having violent outbursts that caused you to send him away?" I asked. "He simply wanted to do something other than be a part of the family business?"

Irina smiled, though it wasn't friendly at all. No, there was an underlining look to her smile that had a shiver running through me. "Riley had an obligation to his family, Agent Swan. When Alastair retired, Riley was going to take over the family business. That's how it's been for generations and we couldn't allow him to break that now."

"No, instead you sent him off to his death," I snarked.

"I don't appreciate your tone, Agent Swan," Irina seethed. "I loved my son, but I couldn't sit by and watch him ruin his life by chasing a dream that would never come true."

"No, instead you put him in the hands of a madman," I snarled, standing up. "You sent your son to his death, and the man who was killed along side of him? He was cop, and he was trying to save your son from himself."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Irina claimed, standing up.

I scoffed and shook my head. That's when I saw it. On the mantle was a picture of a woman who looked just like Kate. I crossed the room and picked it up. There were subtle differences, but the woman in the picture had the same eyes and smile that Kate had. They were the same build and both had long, blond hair and bright blue eyes — just like Vanessa Hale .

Holding the picture up, I turned back to Irina and Alastair. "Who's this?"

"My younger sister," Irina stated, walking over to me and tearing the picture out of my hand."

"What's her name?" I asked.

"Sasha — Sasha Dwyer," Irina stated.

I snapped my eyes over to Edward, who looked just as shocked as I did. Looking back at Irina, I asked, "Dwyer?"

"Yes," Irina replied.

"You're maiden name is Dwyer?" Angela asked.

"No, Dwyer was Sasha's married name," Irina explained.

"What do you mean was?" I questioned.

Irina frowned as she looked back over at me. "Sasha was killed in a car accident when she was twenty-one."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It was a long time ago," Irina muttered, dismissively. "She was a wild child, Agent Swan. Much like my son, she dreamed of making it on the stage. Unfortunately, she tended to drink heavily and it ended up costing her more than her life. She destroyed everyone close to her. I refused to allow Riley to make her mistakes."

"She was married?" Edward asked, walking over to me and Irina. "You said Dwyer was her married name."

"Yes, she married Eric Dwyer just after her nineteenth birthday," Irina groused, clearly unhappy with her sister's husband.

"And where is he?" I asked.

Irina scoffed. "I don't know, and I certainly don't care. I haven't seen him since her funeral, and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

"How'd you find the clinic in Colombia?" Ben asked, once again drawing our attention over to him and Angela.

"My attorney directed us to Dr. Harrison's clinic," Alastair stated, placing his now empty glass on the table and standing up. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small card, holding it out to Ben, who took it. "Now, my wife and I have cooperated and answered your questions. Any further inquiries into our son's death can be directed to our attorney."

"Fine," I chirped. "Thank you for your time."

With a simple nod, Alastair and Irina Biers dismissed us. None of us spoke as we walked out of the house and climbed back into the SUV. I drove us through the gates and back toward the highway. After a couple of miles, I sighed and pulled into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. Shifting the SUV into park, I turned toward Edward, Ben, and Angela.

"Well, that was interesting," I said.

"Very," Angela added. "Of course at this point it's just one more piece to a very complicated puzzle."

"That it is," I murmured. "I think we need to go speak to their lawyer, see what we can find out about this clinic. That shit is insane."

"I agree," Edward said, nodding. Checking his watch, Edward added, "If we hurry, we'll get there before lunch."

"Okay, sounds like a plan," I murmured, taking the card that Ben had been given. "Ian Keppler. Let's go visit with Mr. Keppler."

—BR—

Ian Keppler's law office was located in the heart of Houston. We pulled up in front of one of the tallest skyscrapers in the city and climbed out. Sharing a look, we headed inside, where we were stopped by a large, beefy man wearing a security uniform.

"Name?" he demanded without as much as a hello.

Smiling, I reached into my back pocket with one hand and rested my other on my gun. Pulling out my badge, I held it out in front of him and said, "We're FBI."

Nodding, the guard stepped aside and let us by. _Odd_, I thought. _Just a flash of a badge and they let anybody in. _

Edward, Ben, Angela, and I headed over to the elevator and took it up to the fifty-sixth floor, as directed on Ian's business card. When the doors slide open, we stepped off and found ourselves standing in front of a large oak desk with a woman seated behind it. She had dark hair that had been pulled back into a tight bun. With a pair of black framed glasses perched on her nose, she looked over at us.

"May I help you?" she chirped, though her hand was already twitching toward the phone.

"We'd like to speak to Ian Keppler," I replied.

The corners of her lips twitched and her right index finger lifted off the desk and toward the phone. "And you are?" she asked, tersely.

I smiled and pulled my badge back out, holding it open to her. "Specials Agents Swan, Masen, Cheney, and Weber with the FBI. Now, we'd like to see Ian Keppler so you might as well pick up that phone and call him."

Nodding, the woman grabbed the phone and brought it to ear, pushing on the four and the three. "There are four FBI agents here, sir. . . Yes, sir." The woman hung up the phone and stood up. "Right this way."

She motioned for us to follow her through a large set of wooden doors. Down a narrow hallway and to the left, she pushed open the door to a large conference room and pointed to the table. "Mr. Keppler will be right with you. May I offer you some coffee?"

"No, thank you," Angela replied for us. The woman looked between the four of us before letting the door close behind her. "Okay, she was odd."

"I have no doubt that Alastair Biers' called Ian and let him know we were on our way," I murmured as I walked around the room. There were a handful of paintings adorning the walls, mostly pictures of large fields and snow-capped mountain tops. Yet, one picture stood out from the others. I brought my hand up to my lips as I studied the photograph.

Like the others that I'd found in the Hale house, this one was black and white. The picture of a large boat sitting in the middle of the ocean, scrawled across the back was a single word: Liberty. Captioned under the photo was the phrase: The beginning holds the future and time will bring liberty.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." I tore my eyes away from the photo and looked over as Ian Keppler came barreling into the conference room with a manila folder tucked under his arm. A shorter man, Ian wasn't much taller than me. He had thinning dark, brown hair and small, beady brown eyes. He looked around at each of us, stopping on me last. "Please have a seat. I have a very busy schedule today."

"We can make this quick," I said, sliding into one of the chairs across from him. Once Edward, Ben, and Angela were seated, I placed my hands on the table. "Tell us about the clinic you recommended to the Biers for their son Riley."

Ian tensed up and tore his eyes away from mine. "It was just something I saw on the internet," he lied.

"The internet?" I asked. He nodded. "Where on the internet? Do you have a web address?"

"Um, no," he muttered. "I mean, I did, but I lost it."

I sighed. "Mr. Keppler, I'm gonna be honest with you," I started. "I think you're full of shit." Ian Keppler snapped his eyes over to mine. "I don't know why you feel the need to lie to me, or why you think I'm dumb enough to fall for it. So, I am going to ask you once more: what do you know about the clinic that you recommended to the Biers?"

Ian opened his mouth several times before he fell back in his seat and sighed. "Two months before Alastair and Irina sent Riley to the clinic, I was sent a letter that said I was to do whatever I had to in order to make sure that Riley Biers found his way to the clinic."

"Who sent you the letter?" Edward asked.

"I — I don't know," Ian said. "At first I thought it was joke so I threw it in the trash. But then the next week, I received another letter, this one included photos of my wife dropping my kids off at school. It said that if I care about my family, I'd be a little more thoughtful about how I handled my assignment and get to work." Ian shook his head. "Every week for the next month, I got a letter with pictures of my family at school, at the park, at the supermarket. I didn't know what to do. So when Alastair came in and told me that he wanted to make a change to his will because of Riley's behavior, I took advantage of the situation and suggested the clinic to him."

"Do you still have all the letters and photos that were sent to you?" Angela asked.

Ian nodded and slid his folder across the table to her. "I didn't mean to send Riley to his death. If I'd known —"

"If you'd known, you still would have done what you did in order to protect your family," I interrupted him. With a sigh, Ian nodded his head in agreement. "Why didn't you contact the police when you first started getting the letters?"

"I was going to," Ian said. "I went as far as picking up the phone to call them, but before I could as much as press a single number, the person who sent me the letters started speaking. He told me that he'd kill my children. I couldn't take that chance. My family means everything to me."

Angela passed the letters and photos over to me. The handwriting on Ian's letters was the same as the ones on the notes I found on the back of the photographs in the Hale's house. There were a couple of handfuls of photographs of Ian's wife and two children. I could certainly understand his concern for his family. Anyone who would go to this length to get one man to Colombia was desperate enough to do anything.

"Agent Swan," Ian said, pulling my attention back to him. He had a small white envelope in his hand. Scrawled across the top was my name. "This was waiting on the windshield of my car when I left the house this morning."

I reached across the table and took the envelope from him. Prying the back open, I slipped a letter and small heart-shaped charm out onto the table. I opened the letter and read it to myself.

_Agent Swan,_

_I'm thoroughly disappointed in you. I thought for sure that you'd have caught me by now. Why with the way people talk, I figured you would have had me pinned down to the ground, straddling me and slapping a nice, shiny pair of cuffs around my wrists. I'll admit that the idea of you on top of me excites me, beautiful. _

_Pity you just can't seem to see what's right in front of you. Soon — we'll be seeing each other again very soon, Agent Swan. _

_Phil Dwyer_

Taking a deep breath, I passed the note over to Edward and picked up the charm. I'd know it anywhere. It had belonged to Lili. She told me how her father had given it to her on her sixteenth birthday. Lili wore it every day. Bile crept up my throat.

"Son of a bitch," Edward spat, throwing his chair back as he stood up. He slammed the note onto the table and shifted his eyes over to me. The fear he'd been trying to control had crept into his eyes. "We got what we need here. Let's go."

Nodding, I stood up and shoved the charm into my back pocket. Gathering the letters and photos of Ian's family, I shoved them into the folder and tucked it under my arm. "Sorry, I need to take these."

"Please do," he muttered, quickly. "Do I need to worry about this guy?"

"Yes," I replied. "If I were you, Mr. Keppler, I'd take your wife and children and hide." I walked over to the photo that hung on the wall. "I need this, too."

"Um, yeah, okay," he said, offhandedly. "Take it."

Pulling it off the wall, I handed it to Ben and led them out of the conference room, out past the lady by the elevator, through the lobby, and out to our SUV. Once we were inside, I brought my hand up to my mouth and screamed. Dwyer was still one step ahead of us.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Told you I'd have this chapter out soon, lol. Still confused? I promise that things are going to be coming together in the next few chapters.**


	29. Chapter 28

The sand cushioned my feet with each step I took. Keeping my eyes on the ground, I pushed my body to move faster, to push harder. My chest burned, and my legs ached, but I ignored it. Once again, I'd had a nightmare, tearing me out of my bed and forcing me to find any way I could to get the demons out of my head. Today — that meant running on the beach.

Edward, Ben, Angela, and I had gotten back to Seattle late the night before, after making sure that Ian Keppler and his family were being protected. He may have sent Riley Biers to his death, but he did so out of fear. The man had enough guilt on his shoulders without us adding more. The director from the Houston branch of the FBI assured me that he'd make sure not one hair on Ian, his wife, and two children were touched, and I hoped like hell he'd be able to keep his word.

The drive from Texas took us nearly two day. We drove on the back roads, avoiding the interstate as much as possible, but we knew we had to be careful that nobody was following us — and they we don't think anyone did, but how could we be sure? Phil Dwyer was always at least two steps ahead of us.

I'm not sure how far I ran before I turned and headed back to the beach house. When I got there, I found Edward sitting on the porch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I sat down next to him and tried to catch my breath. Sweat poured off of me, but Edward didn't seem to care as he reached out and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Feel better?" he asked.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Not really."

"Maybe you should call Esme," he suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," I murmured, unsure if I would or not. "We'd better get going or we're going to be late for work."

"Okay," Edward whispered.

Standing up, we headed inside. While I went straight to our bedroom, Edward went into the kitchen, muttering about starting my coffee. I stripped off my clothes and tossed them into the hamper before walking into the bathroom to start the shower. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, there wasn't a point. I knew how horrible I looked. Seeing the bags and dark circles that hung under my eyes wasn't going to do any good. I needed to bust this case open and bring Phil Dwyer and Embry Call to justice — or kill them. Either option worked for me.

"Is the water hot yet?" Edward called from our bedroom. Giving him a sheepish look, I reaching over and started the shower. "Guess not."

"Sorry," I murmured.

"Don't be." Edward smirked as he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He brought his lips down to my shoulder, moaning. "Mmmm, you taste good."

"I'm all sweaty," I grumbled, turning in his arms. Grabbing the bottom of his shirt, I tore it off of him, throwing it into our bedroom. "You won't need that for the shower."

"Better get rid of my pants, too." Edward slipped his hands down to his hips, pushing his pants down to his ankles. Edward wasn't wearing any underwear and he was hard — very hard.

"Yeah, um, you won't need those, either," I whispered, trying very hard not to gawk at him. Edward reached out and grabbed my hand, bringing it down to his cock. Wrapping our fingers around him, he began to shift our hands up and down his long, silky-hard shaft.

"God, I love your hand on me," he moaned, letting his hand fall onto my shoulder. "But you know what I like more?"

"What?" I asked my voice barely loud enough for me to hear.

"Your lips wrapped around my cock," he groaned. My breath caught in my chest. "Will you suck my cock for me, baby? Please? I need you so fucking much."

I couldn't speak; the words wouldn't leave my mouth. Instead, I dropped to my knees, thankful for the plush rug that Alice had insisted Edward and I needed for our bathroom. Lifting my eyes up to his, I pulled my hand out from under Edward's, leaned forward, and took his cock into my mouth.

"Fuck," Edward hissed, grabbing the back of my head and knotting his fingers in my hair. Slowly shifting his hips forward, Edward began thrusting in and out of my mouth, keeping his eyes locked onto mine. "So amazing. Every fucking time."

I moaned, agreeing with him. The feel of him in my mouth, the taste of him on my tongue had always made my body tingle. Sex had always been good for us — even when I had my breakdowns.

Sliding my hand between my legs, I slipped my fingers between my wet slits, touching myself.

Edward moaned, his grip on my hair tightening. "Oh, fuck, baby. You touching yourself is so hot."

Again, all I could do was moan my agreement. Edward pulled himself out of my mouth, and pulled me to my feet. Without a word, he spun me around, bent me over the vanity and thrust himself into my pussy.

"Oh, fuck!" I cried out, the forcefulness of Edward's thrust pushed me into the counter, causing it to bite into my skin. But either Edward didn't realize it or he didn't care in that moment because he didn't slow down or ease his pace. Instead, he slammed into me harder and faster, causing me to try to brace myself on the mirror. The room was filled with the sound of his hips slapping against my ass, our heavy breath, and the grunts and moans that trickled out of our lips.

"Baby, I need you to come for me," Edward begged. "Please, I need you to come now!"

"Gah, so fucking close," I whimpered, needing just a bit more. Edward slid his hand up over my ass, pressing just the tip of his finger into me. I yelped at the intrusion, but felt my walls clench down around him.

Edward slammed into me once more before I felt him release inside of me. Laughing, he laid his forehead in the middle of my back and took a deep breath. "That was amazing, baby."

"That's a bit of an understatement," I giggled.

Edward slipped out of me and pulled me into his arms, kissing me softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered. Kissing me once more, Edward placed his hand on my back and ushered me into the shower. Luckily, the water was still hot, despite our detouring love making.

We quickly showered and got dressed for work. With my travel cup of coffee in hand, we climbed into Edward's car and headed into the office. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about going back to the office. We didn't know who we could trust, how far the reach of The Program, or Phil Dwyer reached, but we didn't have the ability to do our jobs without the resources that the FBI provided. We'd just have to be very cautious.

Edward parked in his usual spot and we climbed out, making our way inside. While it seemed like everything was normal, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched. Shifting my eyes around, I searched for anyone out of the ordinary, but nobody stood out — not that meant anything. If there was someone watching us, they knew how to blend in. That's what scared me the most.

Stepping into the elevator, we headed up to our floor. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, Angela, and Carlisle were already there when we stepped off. Though Ben and Angela looked exhausted, Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle looked more rested, and happier. I knew in that moment I'd made the right decision on sending them home.

"Hey," I muttered, pushing Carlisle out of my chair and sitting down.

Carlisle laughed and sat on the edge of my desk. "You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks," I groused, rolling my eyes. "How's Esme? The girls?"

"They're good," he said, quietly. I looked up at him. "It's better, but it's gonna take time to reassure them that I'm not leaving them."

I nodded. "Just keep trying, okay? The girls need you, Car."

"Not as much as I need them," he murmured under his breath.

Once again, I nodded. Looking over at Emmett and Jasper, I bit my bottom lip before asking, "And my sisters? How are they?"

Emmett smiled, or tried to at least. "Rose is okay. She's trying to be understanding about the fact that I had to take off in the middle of the night, and that you just disappeared again, but it's hard for her. The boys are keeping her busy, though. They took their first steps last night."

"Yeah?" I asked, cheerfully.

Emmett nodded. "Luckily I was there to see it. I would have hated to have missed that moment."

"Me too, Em," I murmured, shifting my eyes to Jasper. "And Alice?"

Jasper looked away from me. "Alice . . . Alice is fucking miserable, Bella. She misses you; she's hurt that you're pushing her away again. She's angry that I left her in the middle of the night. I don't know. She's just . . ." Jasper shook his head and looked over at me. "Emily's death hit her hard. All she can think about is how that could be me, or you. Or Edward, Carlisle, any of us. You need to call her."

"I — I can't," I whispered. "Not when I'm like this."

Jasper scoffed and stood up. "When are you not going to be a fucking mess, Bella?"

Walking over to the elevator, he slammed his finger against the down arrow. Huffing when the doors didn't open immediately, Jasper turned and stormed down the stairs. The door to the stairwell slammed shut. Dropping my attention to the top of my desk, I tried to keep my tears from falling. He was right; I'd been a mess for too long.

"Bella," Carlisle started, placing his hand on my shoulder.

But I shrugged it off and shook my head. "Don't try to make it better, Car. He's right. I'm a fucking mess and it's costing me almost everyone I love." I turned my eyes over to Edward. "Almost everyone."

—BR—

Jasper came back an hour later looking like he'd just taken out all of his aggression on one of the punching bags in the gym, which he probably had. Without a word to anyone, he settled back down at his desk and began working. He and Emmett were trying to find as much information on Embry Call as they could, but there wasn't a lot out there. Either Embry himself or The Program had done a very good job at hiding him.

The message Dwyer had left me in Hale house made it clear that in order to find him, I had to start at the beginning. So while they dug into Embry's past, Edward, Carlisle, and I were trying to find everything we could about Sasha Dwyer. There had to be a reason why Phil Dwyer went after Riley Biers. Somehow — they were related, I just wasn't sure how.

Sasha Dwyer, whose maiden name was Sinclair, was born in Houston, Texas, two years after Irina was. Their parents came from money, nothing like Irina and Alastair Biers have now, but they weren't exactly scraping by, either. Sasha was an average child; she made decent grades in schools, played soccer and basketball until she was twelve. That was the year Sasha learned how to play the guitar. From then on, everything about Sasha changed. From the information I could find, it would appear that Sasha turned her back on every aspect of being a Sinclair, determined to make it big as a musician. She died her hair bubble-gum pink, pierced her nose, and eventually started drinking — her first arrest for public intoxication came at the age of fifteen.

When she was seventeen, she dropped out of high school and disappeared almost two years. She wasn't seen or heard from again until she showed up at her parents' estate with a new husband — enter Eric Dwyer. Of course, we couldn't find much about Eric Dwyer or the two years that Sasha was missing.

They were married less than two years when the accident that claimed Sasha's life happened. Eric survived and waited around long enough to bury his wife, but then he was gone without a trace. So far, Ben and Angela hadn't been able to track him down. Like so many players in this case, Eric Dwyer seemed to have just vanished.

"We're getting nowhere fast," Emmett grumbled late in the afternoon. We turned our attention to him. "This Embry Call — he seems like the poster boy for good behavior. I mean, there isn't as much as a tardy in his high school transcript."

"Yeah, but he's a hacker; most likely he's cleaned up his record so that he looks like a boy scout," Ben pointed out.

"No, it's more than that," Emmett groused. "I mean, this guy is too perfect. The dude graduated from high school with a 3.98, which is odd but not unheard of, yet, his test scores are all mediocre at best. It's not real; it can't be."

"You think it's fake?" I asked.

Emmett nodded. "I can't explain why, but my gut tells me that the person we know as Embry Call is someone else. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but something feels off with this asshole."

"Listen to your gut, Em," I said, encouragingly. "You might be on to something."

"Yeah, maybe," he muttered. "Just tired of getting nothing but puzzle pieces."

"You and me both, dude," I quipped. Turning in my seat, I placed my elbows on my knees and took a deep breath. "Let's talk about what we do know."

"Okay," Edward said. "We know that Dwyer scared Ian Keppler into getting Alastair and Irina Biers to send Riley to Colombia to attend his behavior clinic. We know that Sasha Dwyer is Irina's younger sister, but we don't know how she's connected to Phil, other than the fact they have the same last night."

"We know that Kate is Vanessa Hale's older sister, though we don't know why Royce and Rebecca Hale gave her up for adoption, or what happened to them after Vanessa was taken by Dwyer," Angela said. "I don't think it's a far leap to assume that the reason Dwyer went after Kate and Garrett in the first place was because she's Vanessa's sister. Probably why Lili really sent everything to Garrett; just one more lie."

"We know that Embry was the mole inside of The Program, and that Lili was working with them, but we don't know why or how they connect to Dwyer," Carlisle added.

"We know that Dwyer managed to get into the building and kill Emily, because she found something that he didn't want us to know," Jasper snarked. "But we don't know what, because we all we have are bits and pieces."

Nodding, I stood up and walked over to the white board and stood in front of the picture of Phil Dwyer. "How old would you say Dwyer is?"

"Maybe thirty-two, not more than thirty-five," Carlisle said. "Why?"

"Sasha Dwyer died when she was twenty-one; that was thirty-two years ago." I replied. Looking back at everyone, I placed my hands on my hips. "What if Sasha Dwyer is Phil's mother?"

"Did she have any children?" Edward asked.

"Not that I saw from my research, but there are two years where she just disappeared," I explained. "What if she had a kid and nobody knew?"

"Possible," Carlisle said. "But where was Dwyer when Sasha and Eric came back to Houston? He'd have been a year old at the most."

"I don't know." Sighing, I shook my head. "There's nothing on Phil Dwyer before he came onto the scene seventeen years ago. That would have made him between seventeen or so."

"Which just adds the question to how at seventeen years old, Dwyer was able to create this behavior modification treatment that he used on those kids?" Emmett asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I could have done it at seventeen."

"Yeah, but you're like super genius," Emmett scoffed.

"Maybe Dwyer is, too," I chirped.

"Yeah, maybe," Emmett agreed.

"Isn't there like a databank or something that you smart people have to register with?" Ben asked.

I smiled. "No. I mean, there's Mensa, but it would have come up in our research, wouldn't it?"

"In theory," Ben amended.

Though, Ben's question on how someone like Dwyer managed to get lost in the system, did have me thinking. Going back to my desk, I brought up a new search window.

"Back at NYU, I remember one of my professors talking about different treatments used back in the sixties to modify unruly behavior." Pausing in the middle of my typing, I looked over my shoulder. "Think shock treatments and such. However, there was one guy by the name of Dr. Vladimir Volturi who proposed the idea of taking shock treatments a step forward. He believed that by wiping out a person's memories, that they could be rewired — so to speak. They could be trained, taught how to be productive members of society. His project was never funded because at the time, the government thought he was spy from Russia — at least, I didn't think it had been."

Pushing away from my desk, I went over to the printer and pulled out the article I'd found about him. Once I had enough copies for everyone, I passed them around.

"Supposedly, Vladimir had been deported back to Russia, though he disappeared off the raider, and was never heard from before, but if you think about the similarities between Dwyer's work and his, they're very close. I would wager it's possible that Vladimir trained Dwyer to take up his work — only Dwyer seems to have taken it a step forward by developing a microchip that would be implanted into the cerebral cortex."

"Wow," Carlisle murmured, shifting his eyes up to mine. "He taught you about this, right?"

Knowing that Carlisle's father Aro was a hard limit for him, I sighed and nodded. "Senior year."

"At least he was good for something," Carlisle gritted out before standing up and walking into his office and closing the door.

Shifting my eyes over to Edward, I smiled. "You guys see if what you can find on Vladimir, maybe it'll lead us to Dwyer."

"Okay," Edward replied, nodding his head.

I wrapped my arms around my torso and walked over to Carlisle's office. Without knocking, I opened the door and found him standing in front of the window overlooking the back parking lot. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

"I've thought about reaching out to him," Carlisle said without looking back at me. "For Izzy and Abby's sake, but every time I sit down to start the email, I — I just can't send it."

"Can't blame you there," I murmured. "He's a bastard."

"Yeah, he is," Carlisle agreed. "But he's my father."

"No, he's not," I said. Sighing, he looked back at me. "He stopped being your father the moment he threw you away, honey. Ed's your father, and Charlie's your father, but Aro? Aro is a bastard who blamed a ten year old little boy because his wife was raped and she couldn't handle looking in your eyes and seeing the pain that was there."

Carlisle took a shaky breath. "What — what if Izzy and Abby end up hating me because I'm not there enough?"

"Oh, honey, they won't." I walked over to him and slid my arms around his waist. "You're already ten times the father Aro ever was. Car, you and Esme are amazing parents. It's hard right now, but you just have to remind them that you love them."

"I do," Carlisle whispered. "This whole case, being locked away in the underground, has me edge. I — I don't know."

"We're all on the edge," I groused.

"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked. "You don't look like you've slept."

"Because I haven't," I replied, dryly. "I try, but . . ." I shook my head. "The pleas for help, the taunts to find him . . ." I shuddered. "I'm going crazy and, um, I don't know what to do."

"Maybe — maybe you should get of this case," Carlisle suggested.

I scoffed. "Like I can," I groused. "Even if I wanted to, Car, I'm in too deep. Dwyer's leaving me these messages; he's taunting me because I couldn't shoot him when I had the chance. This is a game to him — nothing but a fucking game."

"Yeah, well, somehow we're gonna figure out how to end this," Carlisle vowed, leaning down and kissing the top of my head. "And I won't let him take you from me, either."

"I hope not," I whispered. "I really hope not."

**Thank you for all the reviews. So, the pieces are coming together…aren't they?**


	30. Chapter 29

As my cellphone started to ring, I sighed and picked it up. Esme again. Dropping it back onto my desk, I let it go to my voicemail; just like I had done the last twenty-three times she'd called. Logically, I knew I should talk to her, but I just couldn't — not right now.

"My sister again?" Edward asked.

I didn't need to look behind me to know that he was standing in the doorway to our small, home office. He'd been there every five minutes, asking if I'd made any progress in my research. Of course, I knew what his true motive was. Edward was making sure that I wasn't losing my mind — what little I had left, anyway.

Nodding, I said, "She's being very persistent."

"That she is. Find anything new?"

I smiled and looked back at him. "Not since the last time you asked. I was able to track Sasha, aka Rayne Mars, to southern LA, where she worked at a local diner and pursued her music career at night, but after the first few months, it's like she just disappeared." I shook my head. "I don't know; feels like I am missing something that is right in front of me."

Right on cue, my cellphone started ringing. Sharing a look with Edward, I picked it up. "Oh, it's Carlisle this time. Wonder if it's a trick?"

"Probably," Edward laughed as he turned and walked out of the office. "But you should answer it to make sure."

"Yeah," I sighed, under my breath. Flipping my phone open, I brought it to my ear and said, "Hello."

"Is this the only way to get you to talk to me?" Esme asked.

I closed my eyes. "I knew this was a trap."

"I wouldn't have had to do it like this if you'd just answered the other times when I called." Esme huffed. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not," I lied. "Just been really busy with this case. You know, doing my job."

"Such a shitty-ass liar," she snarled.

I took a deep breath. "Es, you can't help me right now. I just need to get this case solved and then . . . Well, I don't know what I'll do then, but right now, this is all I have."

"You have me," she whimpered, and I immediately felt like the biggest bitch. I'd made Esme cry. "I miss you, Bell."

"I miss you, too," I whispered. "But I can't be the person you deserve right now, Es. I just — I just can't."

"So instead you choose to push me away? To push everyone who loves you away?" Her words cut into my soul. She was right; I was pushing everyone away. But they didn't understand how hard it was for me to show just how weak I was to them. They wanted the bitch, the touch-as-nails agent who didn't let the bad guys stop her. That person — that Bella — was gone. "Bell!"

"What do you want from me, Es?" I pleaded. "I can't do this right now."

"Fine," she snarled. "Then just fuck off and forget that I'm here. It's what you do best. First Carlisle, then your sisters, and now me. Who's next, Bella? Edward?"

Before I could reply, Esme hung up on me. Letting my phone fall from my fingers, I pushed my chair away from my desk and scrambled to my feet. Stumbling out of our office, I rushed outside, down the beach, stopping at the edge of the water.

"Bella," Edward called out with caution, but I couldn't look back at him.

Instead, I wrapped my arms around my torso and allowed my tears to fall. "I hurt everyone. I don't mean to, but somehow I do. My sisters, my parents, the team — you. I don't — I don't know how to do this. Tell me how to make it better, tell me how to make the fear and anger inside of me go away."

"I don't know," Edward whispered, wrapping his arms around me. The moment he touched me, my knees buckled and I dragged us both into the sand. "Bella."

"I need her, Edward," I cried. "Esme's saved me so many times."

"I know," he murmured. "She needs you, to help you. Esme feels helpless because you're pushing her away."

"I'm trying to keep myself from falling apart," I muttered. "To find out where Dwyer and Embry are. I — I have to stop them before I can help myself."

"We do, not you. And not at the expense of everyone you love."

Tearing myself out of Edward's arms, I stood up and looked down at him. "Tell how to balance it all, Edward?" My words came out sharper than I intended. "Tell me how to be the sister Ali and Rosie want, yet be the lover that you need."

"I don't know," he said, standing up. "But hiding in that office, running away every time someone says something that hurts, isn't the solution, either."

"So I should just do what, Edward? Call Ali and tell her that I have nightmares every night about dead girls who blame me for their deaths?" Edward didn't respond. "Or maybe I should tell Rose how I'm afraid to be around the boys because I don't want them to know that I'm broken. Or Izzy or Abby, or fucking Esme," I wept. "Tell me how to make it better, baby, because this is something that I don't know. Please!"

Edward grabbed the tops of my arms and pulled me to him, nestling me against his chest. Once again, my knees buckled, but unlike before, Edward held me up — as he'd been doing for the last year.

—BR—

I woke up hours later, feeling the bed for Edward. Instead of my husband, my fingers came across a piece of paper. I reached over and turned on the light before picking up the note and reading it:

**Bella,**

**I went to talk to Esme. Don't be mad, but I can't sit around any longer and watch you self-destruct. You may not see it, but you're pushing everyone that loves you out of your life again. I know that's how you cope, but I won't lose you to yourself. I love you, Bella. That will never change.**

**Edward**

Letting the paper fall from between my fingers, I scrambled out of our bed and went to get my cellphone from our office. I found it lying on the floor under my chair. Picking it up, I flipped it open, finding a dozen missed calls from Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela, but nothing from Esme or Edward. Sinking to the floor, I brought my knees up to my chest and stared at the screen.

Tracing over the numbers with my finger, I found myself pressing down on the first one, but pulled my hand back at the last minute. Dragging my fingers through my hair, I tossed my phone onto the desk. I couldn't keep relying on everyone to hold me up; I had to do it for myself. Even though I knew it hurt them, and they felt I was pushing them away, I wasn't. All I was doing was trying to regain a bit of the control that I'd lost. Was it selfish of me to need time and space? Was I wrong for trying to turn on my focus on the closing this case and bringing Phil Dwyer and Embry Call to justice? While logic told me it wasn't, my heart was screaming yes!

Sighing, I pushed myself off of the floor and wandered into the kitchen, starting a fresh pot of coffee. I couldn't be upset with Edward for running to his sister. He was scared that I was leaving him, that I was already gone. Though, I reminded him over and over that I was here, that I'd never leave him, things weren't the same with us. Our love hadn't faltered, not one little bit, but the ease of our relationship had slipped past us. It used to be so easy for us. We'd just block the rest of the world out and focus on each other. But now — now, the real world refused to leave us.

Once the coffee had brewed, I poured myself a cup and padded back down to the office. Settling in my chair once again, I placed my cup on the desk and picked up my phone. I took a deep breath before I called Edward. Strangely, it went straight to his voicemail.

"Hey, it — it's me," I murmured after the beep. "I know that I've made a mess of things. I know that I'm difficult, but I'm trying, Edward. I — I . . . I love you, and I don't want to lose you because I can't get my shit together. Please, just — just don't give up on me, okay?"

Closing my phone, I placed it back on my desk and released the breath I'd been holding. Somehow, and I wasn't sure how, I'd make all of this with Edward right. Somehow.

By late in the evening, the sun had long set and moon had taken its place behind the heavy clouds that hung over Seattle. From my position in front of the window I waited for Edward to come home, to fall to my knees and beg his forgiveness for every ounce of pain that I'd caused him. The beach house was dark, depressing, yet I couldn't find the strength or energy to turn on the light.

Bringing my hand up to my chest, I tried to stifle the ache that filled my chest, but it didn't work. I'd called him a dozen more times, each one going to his voicemail. It wasn't like Edward to ignore me like this, but then again, I'd been doing the same to Esme. Maybe this was my punishment, my penitence for being a horrible wife to him.

Turning away from the window, I walked through the house, settling back in my office. Throughout the afternoon, I'd been able to find more information on Sasha Dwyer, but not much. Four months after she arrived in Los Angeles, she filed charges against Eric Dwyer for rape, but less than a week later, she dropped the charges. She and Eric were married three days later, and once again, the trail went cold.

The police had written the rape off as her trying to get even with Eric for cheating on her, stating in their report that she'd used the charge as an act of vengeance. I didn't believe it for a moment. Someone — and I had a feeling it would all lead back to Phil Dwyer — had buried Sasha's file so far deep that it had been nearly impossible to find. I just didn't understand why.

Sighing, I picked up my phone, checking to make sure that I hadn't somehow missed Edward's call. I hadn't. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I began chewing on my nail. Where was he?

I flipped the phone open to call Esme, but before I could, it rang. Relief filled me when I saw Edward's name come up on the screen. Pressing the green talk button, I brought it up to my ear.

"Goddamn it, Edward, where the fuck have you been?" I snarled.

"Tsk tsk, Agent Swan," I heard Dwyer's voice coo through the phone. "A beautiful lady like you shouldn't use such vulgar language. It's beneath you."

My lips trembled and bile crept up my throat. "Why do you have his phone?"

"So I could call you, of course!" Dwyer exclaimed. I could almost see the smirk on his face, the glint in his eyes. "Now, enough chitchat. I'm bored and when I get bored . . . Well, let's just say I tend to play a little harder than most people like."

"Where is Agent Masen?" I gritted.

"He's here with me. Isn't that right, Edward?" The sound of Edward screaming echoed through the phone. Sliding out of my chair, I dropped to my knees. "We're having a lot of fun, but it would be better if you joined us, don't you think? Be at Warehouse 833 at midnight, Agent Swan. Be on time, and be alone, or your lover-boy here will pay the price."

Before I could respond, Dwyer hung up. Letting the phone drop from my hands, I screamed. Phil Dwyer had Edward and if I didn't comply, he'd kill him.

**Thank you for all the reviews! **


	31. Chapter 30

I picked up the phone a dozen times to call Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, or Ben and Angela. But each time, I heard Dwyer's threat echoing inside of my head. If I called any one of them, he'd kill Edward — if he hadn't already. Edward wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for me. He'd gone to talk to Esme for me, doing what he could to make his sister understand why I'd been pushing her away.

Of course, for all I knew Dwyer had taken Esme, too. I couldn't call Carlisle unless I knew for a fact that Esme was in danger. If she was safe, Carlisle would insist on going with me, on gathering the team together on this. While logically, I knew that's what we needed to do, I couldn't put Edward's life at risk like that. Besides, Dwyer had made this a fight between him and me — I was going to make sure to finish it once and for all.

Picking up my phone, I called Edna Davenport, one of Carlisle and Esme's neighbors. The seventy-three year old woman was nosy and enjoyed peering at her neighbors through her front window. She was harmless — just lonely. Her husband died just before Abby was born, and Edna hadn't handled losing him very well. With Edward's life in danger, I could understand how she felt.

"Hello," Edna chirped, answering the phone after three rings.

I took a calming breath, trying to keep my words calm and even, but the tremor that laced them gave me away. "Hello, Mrs. Davenport. This is Bella Masen, Carlisle and Esme's sister-in-law."

"Oh, yes," she giggled. "How are you, dear? I haven't seen you around much lately."

Guilt nipped at me once again. "I'm fine. Just been very busy with work."

"Oh, yes, you work with Carlisle, don't you?" Edna sighed. "You both work too much, if you ask me."

"Yes, ma'am, we do," I murmured. "Listen, I was hoping you could do me a favor."

"What's that, dear?" she asked, almost giddy with glee.

"I, um, I'd like to send Esme some flowers. Well, Edward and I would like to send her some flowers," I amended, "but I need to make sure that she's there to receive them. Can you look out and see if she's home?"

"Oh, how sweet," she gushed. "Of course I can. Just give me a moment." Through the phone, I heard Edna groan as she stood up, and walk across the living room to her front window. "Oh, you're in luck, dear. It seems like Esme has just gotten home from the market. Now, Carlisle and those sweet little girls are coming out to help her with the bags."

I brought my hand up, covering my mouth as a sob threatened to come out. At least I knew that Esme was safe. "Thank you," I choked out.

"You're welcome," Edna said. "Are you okay, dear? You sound upset."

"I — I'm fine," I lied.

"No, you're not," she replied. "I may be old, dear, but I can hear the sadness in your words. Can I help?"

"Have you ever found yourself forced to choose between doing what you know is wrong, even though you know it could cost you everything?"

"Yes," Edna murmured.

"Did it work out for you?" I asked.

"No," she admitted. "At least not the way I wanted it to."

"If you could go back, would you change the choice you made?"

"Oh, that's not an easy question to answer, dear." Edna sighed.

"No, I suppose it's not," I whimpered. "Don't tell Esme and Carlisle that I called, okay?"

"Of course not," she responded. "Bella, dear, listen to what your hearts telling you to do."

Nodding, I told her, "I'm trying, but it's just not that easy, I'm afraid."

"Life never is," she said, softly. "Goodbye, dear."

"Bye," I cried, closing my phone and letting it fall onto my desk. Dragging my hand up to my hair, I screamed.

—BR—

Just before midnight, I pulled my car up in front of Warehouse 833. Like most of the building sitting on the pier, Warehouse 833 had been abandoned. The paint had begun chipping and from what I could tell from the front seat of my car, most of the windows had been busted out. As I climbed out, I placed one hand on my gun and searched my surroundings. The parking lot had been littered with trash, a few torn up trash cans had been tossed around, the buildings had been tagged by graffiti, and the feeling of hopelessness filled the air. Taking a deep breath, I closed the door to my car and headed up to the double set of iron doors. Pausing, I pulled out my cell phone and called Carlisle, unsure of how I'd explain to him what I was doing.

Luck, or perhaps the lack of it, had been on my side and my call went straight to his voicemail. Once I heard the beep, I felt my eyes flood with tears and I muttered, "Car, I'm sorry for not being the woman you need me to be." Pausing, I took a deep breath. "Dwyer has Edward. And I know you're gonna be pissed with me for not telling you, but he'll kill Edward if I don't go alone. Besides, I have to end this. I can't explain why it has to be me, but it does. Just — just don't hate me forever. Tell Esme that I love her, and that I'm sorry," I cried.

Snapping my phone closed, I turned it off and shoved it into my back pocket. Releasing another breath, I pulled out my gun, and pushed open one of the doors, stepping into the dark building. Reaching into my back pocket, I grabbed my flashlight and went looking for Edward and Dwyer, hoping that I wasn't too late. Somehow, though, I had a feeling that Dwyer would keep Edward alive until I got here. He'd want to make me watch him kill the love of my life. Dwyer thrived on the attention from putting on a show.

The warehouse was eerily quiet. Pressing myself against the wall, I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds around me: the sound of water dripping in the distance, metal scraping together, and whispered cries for help. But that last one might have been my imagination. With the way I'd lost my sanity lately, I couldn't be sure about anything.

I paused in the middle of a doorway and looked at my choices: left or right. Neither way seemed particularly inviting. The very limited amount of light that trickled in through the broken windows didn't offer much light.

"Left or right," I muttered to myself. "Pick one, coward, and hope that it's the right way."

Taking a deep breath, I opted to go left. Staying as close to the wall as I could, I slowly made my way down the corridor. Much like the outside of the warehouse, the inside had been trashed. I suspected that when the winters got really cold, the homeless used this place as a shelter from the weather. Trash had been littered around and it smelled like shit and piss.

Once I reached the end of the hallway, I found myself facing a dead end. Cursing under my breath, I turned and went the other way. Much like the left side, the right smelled like shit. I took the next left and headed up a small ramp, taking a right toward the center of the warehouse. I wasn't sure what they'd originally used this building for; a black, flaky substance seemed to cover just about everything.

At the top of the ramp, I found a large, iron door. I pressed myself against the wall and pushed the door open, jumping in with my gun out in front of me. Neither Edward nor Dwyer were inside the large room, but what I did find had bile creeping up my throat. Taped to the walls were hundreds, if not thousands of pictures of Kate, Vanessa Hale, Royce and Rebecca Hale, Sasha and Eric Dwyer, and Phil Dwyer, through the various stages of their lives. It was as I stopped in front of pictures of Royce and Rebecca holding a newborn Vanessa that I put it all together. Royce and Rebecca Hale were really Sasha and Eric Dwyer. For whatever reason, they'd faked Sasha's death and went into hiding. Dwyer was their son, born while they were living in California — he had to be. Dwyer had the same wide, eerie eyes that Eric did, that Vanessa Hale did — that Kate had.

There were dozens of photos of Dwyer with Vladimir Volturi. He'd been left in the hands of a madman, trained to be a killer. Had Sasha and Eric gotten in too deep with Vladimir? Was that why they'd faked her death? Had that been the reason why they gave Kate away?

Turning my back on the pictures, I continued my search for Edward. There were too many questions left to answer, but my main focus had to be finding my husband, and killing Dwyer.

Slowly, I made my way down the hallway, finding another ramp, this one leading down to a different level. I took a deep breath and followed it, finding myself in a large cavernous room. In the middle of the room, I saw Edward was handing from the rafters in the ceiling. His hands had been bound over by a thick, heavy rope and had been pulled up over his head and thrown over a hook. His toes were barely able to touching the ground. Bile crept up into my throat. His shirt had been pulled off and he had several bruises and cuts on his chest and stomach. Edward's head was slumped forward, and I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not.

Rushing across the room, I holstered my weapon and placed my hand on his cheek, pushing his head back. Edward snapped his eyes open and started thrashing against my touch, his screams echoing off the walls.

"EDWARD!" I screamed, trying to get him to look at me.

His eyes snapped over to mine, and a softness filled them. "B — Bella?" he croaked, his voice raw and gritty.

"Yeah, baby, it's me," I whimpered. "I'm gonna get you out of here."

"B — be — behind you," Edward rasped out.

I barely had time to turn my head when I felt something hard slam against the side of my head. Screaming, I fell to the ground. When I looked back, I saw Dwyer standing there with a smirk on his lips and a silver gun in his hand.

"Well, well, Agent Swan, how nice of you to join us," Dwyer said. Kneeling down next to me, he pressed his gun against the side of my head. "You look beautiful, but then, you always look beautiful."

"Get off of me," I snarled, scrambling to my feet and going for my gun.

"Tsk, tsk, Agent Swan," Phil snickered, cocking the hammer back on his gun. "Let's not do anything stupid."

"Too late," I grumbled. "You shouldn't have touched him. Now, when I kill you, I'm going to enjoy it."

Phil smiled, seemingly unaffected by my threat. "You actually believe that you're going to be able to kill me, don't you?" Phil reached over and grabbed my chin, pressing his gun into my stomach and pulling my face toward his. Stopping when his lips were a millimeter away from mine, he whispered, "Let's dance, you and I."

Before I could utter a word, Dwyer closed the distance between our lips and kissed me. Just as quickly as his lips were on mine, he pushed me away, causing me to fall against Edward's legs. He cried out as he swung backward and I fell back, and over railing and into a large pit. It wasn't very deep, just five feet or so. Phil came over and stood at the edge and looked down at me.

"Catch me if you can, beautiful." Turning, Phil took off running.

I scrambled over to the iron ladder that had been built into the cement walls and climbed out of the pit and took off after Dwyer. I could hear him taunting me, challenging me to find him. Up a ramp on the opposite side of the room, and down another hallway, I followed the sounds of his taunts.

Phil rounded another set of stairs and took them two at a time, busting through a door. I followed, finding myself standing on the roof. Bringing my gun up, I followed him over to the edge of the roof.

"STOP!" I screamed.

Phil turned and looked back at me, tapping his gun on the side of his leg. "You're quick, Agent Swan. I suppose all that extra running on the beach you've been doing has helped."

"Where's Vanessa Hale?" I demanded, not wanting to play his game.

Dwyer's smile grew. "She's safe — for now."

"Where is she?" I asked again.

"We're not here to talk about her, beautiful," he said, deflecting my question and taking a step to his right.

"Don't move," I screamed, cocking my gun.

"You're not going to shoot me," he scoffed. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."

"I will fucking kill you if you don't tell me where Vanessa Hale is," I growled.

"Will you?" he asked. "Seems like we've found ourselves in this position before, Agent Swan. Of course, that morning at the hospital, your hands weren't shaking like they are now. Is that excitement or fear?"

"Anger," I snapped. "Where is Vanessa?"

"She's safe," he yelled.

"Like Kate was safe?" I snarled. Dwyer showed no emotion. "She's your sister, isn't she? Your younger sister?"

"Very good, Agent Swan." Dwyer smiled. "Though, I'll admit to being disappointed that it took you this long to put it together."

"Yeah, well, you didn't exactly give me a lot to work with," I retorted.

"No, I suppose not," he mused. "Have you figured the rest out, too?"

"I'm guessing your parents, Sasha and Eric were involved with Vladimir Volturi, that they ran because they got in too deep. Is that about right?"

"Close," Dwyer said. "Eric and Sasha owed a debt, and I was that payment. Dr. Volturi was a wonderful man, Agent Swan. Brilliant and ahead of his time, he taught me what he knew, and I took his work a step forward. The poor man died before he saw his teachings being implemented."

"I'm sure you had something to do with his death."

Dwyer smiled. "He'd taught me everything he could. He wasn't needed anymore. I merely saved him from wasting away."

I shook my head. "You're a monster."

Dwyer's friendly smile dropped. "A monster? I give people back their children, Agent Swan?"

"You take their children, turning them into robots before they go crazy and end up killing themselves, and their families," I snarled.

"They needed discipline. They were whores, and delinquents."

"And you murdered them," I said.

Dwyer smiled. "Every medical breakthrough has a few fatalities. One day, people will revere me, Agent Swan. They'll remember how I saved generations from themselves."

"Nobody is going to remember you," I disagreed. "You're nothing to them. Until you came bursting into my life, I'd never even heard of you, or your work. You'll be nothing, but a crazy, sociopath who rots in hell."

"You can rot with me then!" he roared, lunging at me.

I didn't remember making the choice, but a half-second later, I pulled the trigger on my gun, shooting Dwyer in the head. He fell off the edge of the rood, hitting the ground with a loud, echoing thud.

**Thank you for all of the reviews. Oy Vey, let me tell you about this chapter. I struggled with it—a lot. Just when I was making some headway, I lost about 700 words of it. Just lost them and couldn't find them again. It sucked. I cried. I vented. I raged. I started writing again and didn't stop until I had this done. Are things starting to make a bit more sense? Maybe? **


	32. Chapter 31

I stood on the ledge of the building and stared down at Dwyer's broken body for a moment before I turned and ran across the roof and back over to the door that had led me to this moment. Pulling out my cell phone, I'd started to call for an ambulance, but stopped before I managed to press down on the nine. The screeching sound of sirens filled the air, and somehow knew that Carlisle had sent them.

Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I ran back into the warehouse and back to Edward. Wrapping my arms around his legs, I pushed him up, trying to take the pressure off of his arms.

"Edward," I cried, trying to get him to wake up. His head was lobbed forward, and if it wasn't for the shallow rise and fall of his chest, I'd think he was dead. "Edward!"

Nothing.

Knowing I needed to get him down, I released his legs and looked around, trying to find something to stand on. There was a folding chair on the other side of the room, lying on its side like it'd been slung over there. I ran over and grabbed it, bringing it back to Edward. Standing on it, I tried to undo the ropes around his hands, but it was too thick, too tight for me to loosen. Feeling frustrated, I looked around for a knife, a piece of glass, anything that I could use to cut the ropes, but there was nothing but debris and dirt around me.

Climbing off the chair, I pulled my gun out of my holster and took a deep breath as I pointed it at the top of the rope, where it had been wrapped around the large, metal hook hanging from the ceiling. Praying that my aim was good and my hands would stop shaking, I pulled the trigger. The sound of my gunshot filled the air and Edward flopped to the ground when my bullet splintered through the rope.

I shoved my gun back into my holster and knelt next to Edward, pulling his arms down in front of him. The cuts on his chest and stomach were shallow, but he'd still need stitches. From what I could tell, his nose had been broken, but other than that, he looked to be okay — just severely bruised.

"Edward, baby," I whimpered. "Wake up."

Nothing.

My tears poured down my face. "Edward!"

Slowly, his eyes opened and he looked up at me. "D — Dwyer?" he rasped.

"He's gone," I whispered, stroking his cheek. "I'm so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry."

"M — me t — too," Edward garbled, choking on the words. "L — l — love you."

Before I could respond, Edward's eyes closed and he fell limp in my arms. "EDWARD!" I screamed, checking for a pulse — weak but there.

"BELLA!" I heard Carlisle's voice echo throughout the warehouse. "BELLA!"

"IN HERE!" I screamed, hoping that he'd be able to follow the sound of my voice.

A couple of minutes later, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Angela, and Ben came running into the cavernous room that Edward and I were in. They had their FBI flak jackets on, and had their guns poised in front of them, like they weren't sure who they were going to come face to face with. Behind them were two paramedics, carrying a stretcher and looking scared out of their minds.

"Help him!" I yelled, gesturing to Edward, who was still in my arms.

The paramedics came over to Edward, pushing me out of the way. I scrambled to my feet, wrapping my arms around my torso and watched as they tended to the love of my life. I couldn't lose him now, not after everything he'd done for me. Edward never once gave up on me, always being there to hold me when I was having a breakdown, or just needing someone to wipe away my tears.

A hand came down to rest on my shoulder, and I looked behind me, finding Carlisle standing there.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I shook my head, and said, "Is he dead?"

"Yes," Carlisle replied, knowing that I was talking about Dwyer. "You know you're going to have to explain yourself, don't you?"

I nodded. "But not right now."

"I'm fucking pissed with you," Carlisle added.

"Yeah, well, join the club," I groused, pulling away from him. "No offense, Car, but I don't care if you're mad at me. Edward needed me to save him for a change."

"At what cost?" Carlisle hissed. "Your life?" I flinched. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Before I could reply, he turned his attention to the rest of our team, all of whom were watching as the paramedics tended to my husband and glaring at me. Yeah, I'd have to deal with them, too.

"Let's start processing this place," Carlisle instructed.

"One floor up, to the left and down the hallway is a room. Inside of it, you'll find dozens of pictures of Dwyer, Vanessa and her parents, Kate," I muttered.

"Angela, Ben," Carlisle said, gesturing for them to go.

"On it," Angela stated, while Ben merely nodded his head before the two of them turned and headed toward the room.

"Anywhere else?" Carlisle asked. I shook my head. "Bella."

"Don't," I whimpered, looking over at him. My lips trembled and I felt a tear slide down my face. "Just don't."

"Fine," he told me. Turning to me, he held his hand out. "Give me your gun."

Gritting my teeth together, I pulled my gun out of my hostler, putting it on safety before I placed it in his gloved hand. "If you'd been in my position, you'd have done the same thing."

"Maybe," Carlisle said. "Maybe not."

Carlisle turned and walked away from me. The paramedics got Edward stabilized and loaded onto the stretcher. I followed them out of the warehouse and over to the ambulance, trying hard not to look over to where Dwyer's body was laying while another unit from the Bureau handled that part of the scene. They loaded Edward into the back of the ambulance and looked back at me when I climbed on. Either they noticed the look of mercy on my face, or the hard glare in my eyes, but neither of them tried to stop me from riding with him.

I slipped my hand into Edward's as the ambulance lurched forward and we headed to the hospital with the sirens blaring. Bringing his fingers to my lips, I closed my eyes and released a heavy breath. Edward had to be okay — he just had to be okay.

Less than ten minutes later, the ambulance skid to a stop outside of the emergency room. In a frenzy, Edward was unloaded from the back and rushed inside, with what looked to be nearly the entire emergency room staff. I tried to follow them inside the trauma room, but a nurse grabbed my arm and dragged me back.

"You can wait here or in the waiting room, but you cannot be in there," she instructed and then walked away without giving me a chance to respond.

Knowing I couldn't handle being any further away from him than I was, I stayed pressed against the wall, my arms wrapped around myself, and tears dripping down my face. I couldn't make out what the doctors were saying, just that they kept barking out demands from the nurses, looking frazzled as each minute passed.

Time seemed to have slowed down as I stood outside of the room, watching and waiting for word that Edward would be okay. With each second that passed, I found myself dreading the news that I would hear. The doors to his room were thrown open and a nurse rushed out. Before the doors shut, I heard one of the doctors yell, "He's coding!"

My knees weakened and I stumbled against the wall as I watched them grab the paddles and shock my husband's heart. The nurse rushed back in with three bags of blood in her hands. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I muffled my cry.

"Miss, maybe you should go out to the waiting room." I looked over and saw another nurse standing a few feet away from me.

"I — I can't," I cried.

"Standing here isn't going to help," she said, reaching out to place her hand on my arm. However, I flinched away from her. "Ma'am."

"I'm staying here," I growled and pointed toward Edward's room. "He's everything to me. I'm fucking staying here."

With a heavy sigh, the nurse turned and walked over to the nurses' desk, grabbing a rolling chair and pulling it over to me. "Then sit before you pass out and I have to drag you off of the floor."

Sliding into the chair, I said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I'm Hannah. Can I get you some water? You look like you need something."

I shook my head, smiling weakly. "No, thank you. I just need him to be okay."

Hannah nodded. "He's the FBI agent?"

"Yes," I murmured.

"He'll be okay," Hannah insisted. "They're tougher than most people."

As Hannah turned and walked away, I whispered, "Most of the time we are."

—BR—

I'm not sure how long I'd been sitting outside of the trauma room when the door opened and his doctor came out, running a hand through his hair. I was on my feet and in front of him before he was able to take more than a step into the hallway.

"Is he okay?" I blurted out, resisting the urge to grab the front of his shirt.

"He's gonna be fine," the doctor assure me, placing his hands on my shoulders to keep me at bay. "The cuts on Agent Masen's torso were shallow and required stiches. However, during his ordeal, he cracked two ribs, as well as breaking his nose. The extreme trauma he'd gone through caused him to go into cardiac arrest, but we were able to bring him back. He's been through a lot, and we had to sedate him while we did our assessment. We're taking him up to the ICU now."

I released a shaky breath and nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess," he muttered, uncomfortably.

A couple of minutes later, I followed them while they took Edward up to the ICU. Dr. Thornton — the same doctor who'd taken care of both Garrett and Kate — was waiting for us outside of room four, a grime look on his face. He directed the orderlies to get him set up before dismissing them with a wave of his hand. I went over and grabbed Edward's hand, placing it against my chest.

"Did the same person who tried to kill your friends do this?" Dr. Thornton asked.

"Yes," I murmured.

"Did you catch him?"

I shifted my gaze to him. "He won't be hurting anyone ever again."

Dr. Thornton nodded and moved to the other side of Edward's bed, taking a look at his monitors. "Good."

"Why do you care?" I wondered. "Ever since we brought Garrett and Kate in here, you've been going the extra mile to take care of them. Why?"

Dr. Thornton smiled. "My father was FBI, Agent Swan. When I was seven, he was killed in the line of duty — a routine drug bust, they said. I remember watching as the members of his team fell apart. My mother — my mother never really recovered from losing him." Dr. Thornton shook his head. "I didn't want to have to watch it happen again, not to y'all."

"I'm sorry about your father," I said, softly. "It must have been very hard on you, Dr. Thornton."

"Call me Adam," he said with a smile. "Technically, I'm not supposed to allow you to stay in here, Agent Swan, but something tells me that Agent Masen needs you here."

"My name is Bella, Adam," I murmured. "Edward may need me, but I need him more, so thank you."

"You're welcome," Adam replied, before leaving the two of us alone.

Sighing, I pulled a chair over to Edward's bed and sat down. The events of the day, of the last few months, caught up with me, and I felt the last bit of energy leave me. Slumping forward, I draped one arm across Edward, being careful not to hit his cuts, and rested my head on his mattress.

I killed a man. Even though he'd been a threat to me, to Edward, to everyone I cared about, I'd killed Phil Dwyer. Vanessa Hale was still in danger and for all I knew, I'd just killed the only person who could tell us where she was. My body shook with sobs. How could I have been so stupid?

"Bella," Edward moaned. I snapped my eyes up, finding him grimacing. His eyes were still closed and he had a look of pure, utter pain on his face. "Bella."

"Edward, I'm right here," I murmured, sliding to the edge of my chair. Slowly, Edward opened his eyes and lobed his head to the side, looking at me. "Hey."

"Are — are you okay?" he groaned, wincing again.

"I should be asking you that," I cried.

"H — He said he had you," Edward grunted. "He — lied."

"Shh," I whispered, moving so that I was sitting on the side of his bed. "Don't hurt yourself."

Edward tightened his grip on my hand, pulling weakly. "I — I l — love you."

"I love you, too," I cried. "So much."

"D — don't cry," he stammered and pulled on my hand again. "N — need you."

I moved so that I was lying next to him, being careful once again not to hurt him. Sliding my arm across his chest, I let my tears seep into the flimsy hospital gown they'd put on him. "I need you, too, baby. Always have, always will."

Edward drifted off back to sleep, the medication they'd given him in the emergency room hitting him hard. Holding onto him, I let my own exhaustion wrap around me. Just as I fell asleep, I felt someone place a blanket over me.

**Thank you for all the reviews. Sorry for the delay, but I've been swamped with real life. My daughter has been having quite a few lows with her blood sugar, my son reinjured his foot — the same one he broke in September and took 12 long, long weeks to heal. Plus, I've been battling an insane cycle of insomnia since Christmas. 3-5 hours of sleep a night, if I'm lucky, and those hours aren't peaceful. So, thank you for having patience and understanding.**


	33. Chapter 32

"You need to go eat." I shifted my eyes over to Edward and smiled. This would be the fourth time in the last hour that he'd told me that, and each time I replied with a simple shake of my head — including now. "Bella," he groaned.

"I'm not hungry," I lied, or half-lied. I was starving, but the thought of food or being away from Edward for more than a few minutes had me panicking. Putting on the best smile I could muster, I added, "You should be the one eating."

Edward scoffed and looked at the food sitting in front of him, if you could really call it food. There was a pile of some type of meat and noodle casserole, but I couldn't be sure it was really meat or noodles. Next to it was some mashed potatoes that I was sure came from a box, and some green Jell-O that didn't jiggle.

"Um, no," Edward said, pushing the rolling table away. He winced when he lifted his arm and pulled on the stitches in his side.

Standing up from my chair next to his bed, I walked over and sat on the edge of his mattress, leaning across his legs and brushing my hand across his face. "Do you need more pain meds? Adam said you could have more."

"No," Edward replied, leaning into my touch.

"Edward." I glared at him, knowing that he wasn't being honest.

"Bella," he said, challenging me.

Sighing, I shook my head. "And you called me a stubborn bitch."

"You are one," he laughed, then winced again. "I really need to stop moving my upper body."

"Yeah," I muttered, looking away.

"Hey." Edward pulled on my hand, causing me to shift my gaze back to him. "You're too far away. Come closer."

Biting on my bottom lip, I scooted forward, but only a little.

Edward sighed and said, "Closer."

I scooted even closer, but still left a small amount of space between him and me.

"Closer," he urged.

With a smile slipping over my lips, I shifted even closer, leaving barely a hair's length between our bodies.

Sliding his arm around my waist, Edward pulled against me. "Closer."

"Any closer and I'll be straddling you," I whispered.

"I don't see the bad in that."

Before I could reply, the door to Edward's hospital room opened and we looked over to see Adam Thornton coming in. He'd been in several times since Edward was brought to his floor the night before. It was hard to believe that it'd only been thirty hours since I'd found Edward hanging in the middle of that warehouse. Luckily, the damage to Edward had been minimal, but I knew the mental effects would haunt him for a long time, even if he tried to hide it from me.

"Hey, I haven't cleared you for any physical activity yet," Adam teased, letting the door close behind him. I explained to him how Edward and I were married this morning, needing him to understand why I couldn't leave him.

"Eh, I don't listen very well," Edward laughed, before wincing. "Damn it."

"Tell him to take another pain pill," I said, leaning away from Edward only to stop when he tightened his arm around me.

"Take another pain pill," Adam responded, dryly.

"No," Edward simply stated.

"I tried, Bella." Adam laughed when I scowled.

"Yeah, you gave it a big effort there, doc." Rolling my eyes, I shimmed out of Edward's embrace, ignoring the way he whined and reached for me. However, the pain that filled his face at the simple movement had me raising an eyebrow. "Doesn't hurt at all, does it?"

"Maybe it hurts a little," Edward admitted after taking a deep breath. "But that doesn't mean I need to take anything for it."

"Oh, yeah?" I challenged and he nodded. "Then what does it mean?"

"It means that you need to get your ass back over here and let me hold you." Edward smirked while Adam burst out laughing.

"Dude, don't encourage him," I groused, but sat back down on the bed.

"I'll try not to," Adam said, before turning away from Edward's monitors and looking over at him. "But seriously, it's not worth being in pain just to prove you're a badass."

Edward clenched his jaw together and shook his head. "If I need one, I will take one, but I'm fine. I just want to get the fuck out of here and go home."

"Maybe tomorrow," Adam said, heading toward the door. "You know, if you stop being such a baby and accept that you're really in pain."

"Whatever," Edward muttered as Adam left his room.

However, before the door could close, Carlisle pushed it back open and he, Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela came waltzing in. Based on the hard glares on their faces and the hate radiating off of them, we weren't going to have a pleasant conversation. I'd been expecting this, though I had hoped that they would have at least waited until Edward had been released from the hospital before they bashed me for being a bitch.

"How are you feeling, Edward?" Carlisle asked, completely ignoring me. That was fine. He could be pissed all he wanted, but if had been Esme, he would have done the same thing as me.

"I'm okay," Edward said, grabbing my hand.

Carlisle nodded, before placing his hands on his hips. "You two are fucking idiots, you know that?" But before we could respond, he added, "How many times is it going to take before you two stop trying to do everything on your own and ask for some goddamn help?"

I rolled my eyes and looked away from him. That appeared to be the wrong move seeing as Carlisle grabbed me by the arm and yanked me off the bed. "Don't fucking do that to me, Bella! Not to me!"

"Fuck you," I snarled, pushing him away from me. "Don't you dare fucking stand there and judge me. If he'd had Esme, you would have done the same damn thing, Carlisle, and don't even try to deny it. I know you better than that shit."

"Fine, maybe I would have, but that wouldn't have made me right." Carlisle dragged his hand through his hair. "I've sat back for over a year and watched you drowning in a sea of self-pity, Bella. I won't do it any longer."

Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela all nodded their agreement. Closing my eyes, I took a shaky breath and trying to stifle the urge to beat the shit out of all of them.

"Self-pity, huh?" I snorted and looked at Carlisle. "You can go to hell, Carlisle. I don't owe you or anyone, but Edward, anything. You're a fucking asshole."

"I'm the asshole?" Carlisle seethed, taking a step toward me. "You've pushed everyone who loves you away because you can't handle the fact that we're worried about you. You think we don't see how hard this had been? That it hasn't been hard for all of us? It has! Damn it, Bella all of us have struggled with Garrett and Kate getting hurt."

"This has nothing to do with Garrett and Kate!" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. "Since the day Lauren Mallory came into our office asking for help to find Natalie, I've been living in hell."

I leaned back against Edward's bed and blinked back the tears that were building in my eyes.

"Those girls — they haunted me, begged me every night to find them. I tried," I cried. "Lord knows, I tried, but instead I found myself losing the very limited self-control that I had managed to build up after the second time James attacked me. Then I found myself locked away in that cabin, and . . ."

I shook my head, scattering my tears down my cheeks. Using the back of my hands, I brushed them away.

"Demetri touched me, he . . ." I shuddered, swallowing against the bile rising in my throat. Other than Edward, Carlisle, and Esme, I hadn't shared the details of what I'd endured with anyone. "He beat me, he cut me, he . . . he used every fear I had against me." I shifted my eyes up to Carlisle. "I thought I was going die and never get to see any of you again."

"But you didn't," Angela said, stepping toward me. However, I put my hand up and she stopped. "Bella, you didn't die."

"Didn't I?" I argued. "Maybe not in the literal sense of the word, but he killed my soul. There haven't been more than a handful of nights in the last fifteen months that I've not had a nightmare, or that I don't wake up with Edward holding me down so I don't hurt him or myself!"

"Wah, wah, wah," Emmett scoffed. "You sound like a goddamn baby."

"And you sound like a jackass," Edward growled, wincing. I turned and placed my hand on his cheek. He looked over at Emmett. "You have no idea how hard it's been for both of us."

"It's been more than a year already," Jasper smarted off. "It's to deal and stop being a bitch to everyone. And while we're at it, Edward, you're not any better. She's been a mess since day one and instead of getting her the help she needs, you coddle her. How fucked up is that?"

"Fuck you, Jasper!" Edward snarked, leaning forward. However, the howl and pain that filled his face had me reaching for the pain pill sitting next to his uneaten food. "Don't touch it, Bella."

"Fucking take it," I demanded, holding in front of him. Edward huffed and grabbed it, swallowing it down and chasing it with some water. "Now that wasn't hard, was it?"

"Harder than you'd think," Edward muttered before looking over at our team. "If all you came here for is to bust our asses, then get the fuck out. But I will say this first: I'd do it again. When he called, telling me that he had her, all I could think about was saving my wife — not the FBI agent, but my wife, the woman who'd already gone through hell and didn't deserve to be there again. I'd take every fucking hit for her again, because she's fucking worth it."

"Yeah, she is worth it," Carlisle agreed with a sigh. Shaking his head, he moved over to the chair I'd been using before and sat down. "Look, let's just work on putting all of this behind us. Tell me what happened, Edward."

Edward took a deep breath. "I left Bella at home and went to talk to Esme, but y'all weren't home. So, instead, I went to the Bureau and worked out for a bit. I was feeling . . . antsy and needed to take my anger out on something, and figured one of the punching bags was better than a fucking wall, you know.

"Anyway, I'd just left the Bureau when my cell rang. I dug it out of my pocket and saw Bella's name on it. I figured that she'd gotten my note and was calling to rip my ass a new one for butting in, but knew I had to own up to my actions so I answered it. It wasn't Bella, it was Dwyer. He said that he had her down at the warehouse and if I wanted her to live I had to come alone. I — I didn't even think twice about going."

"How'd he get your phone, Bella?" Emmett asked, looking over at me.

"He didn't," I replied, pulling my phone out of my back pocket. "He must have cloned it. Wouldn't be a hard task for him; he was fucking genius, after all."

"What happened when you got to the warehouse, Edward?" Carlisle asked, trying to direct us back to the topic at hand.

"I'd barely taken a step inside when someone hit me on the back of the head. I tried to get a look at them, but all I could make out was a shadow. When I came to, Dwyer had me hanging from the ceiling. He laughed and pulled my cell from his back pocket and called Bella, giving her the same message he'd given me, only he really did have me." Edward shuddered under my touch. "When he hung up, he smiled and said we were going to have some fun before she got there. That's when he started cutting me and shit. After a while, I passed out from the pain and when I came to, I found Bella standing in front of me and Dwyer behind her."

Carlisle nodded and shifted his eyes over to me. "And what happened after that?"

"After I got the call from Dwyer, I made sure that Esme was okay by calling your neighbor, Edna, and having her check to see if you were home. She told you all were carrying in grocery bags. So, since I knew Esme was okay, I headed to the warehouse. I knew you'd be pissed, but I couldn't take the chance that Dwyer would do something to him, Car. I just couldn't."

"You opted not to trust us," Emmett muttered.

"Shut the fuck up, McCarty," Carlisle hissed, looking over his shoulder at him. "Just fucking stop."

Emmett waved a hand in the air, clearly not happy but at least settling on not smarting off anymore. Carlisle turned back to me and gestured for me to continue. Taking a deep breath, I went on to explain how I'd found the photos and eventually Edward, how I chased after Dwyer, and finally how we ended up facing off on against each other on the porch. When I told them about how Dwyer was Vanessa and Kate's older brother, and how Sasha Dwyer had faked her death, and were really Royce and Rebecca Hale, the looks of shock on our teams faces was almost comical.

"Dwyer lunged toward me and I didn't have a choice but to shoot him," I explained.

"Wow, this shit is just insane," Edward murmured, tightening his hold on my hand.

"Did he say where Vanessa Hale was?" Ben asked, speaking for the first time.

I shook my head. "No, he deflected the question every time. He — he was enjoying the game too much."

"Game?" Jasper sputtered. "This isn't a game, Bella."

"I know that, Jasper," I snapped, "but to Phil Dwyer all of this was a game, a sick and twisted game, but a game nonetheless."

"So where do we go from here?" Ben asked, looking around at everyone.

"We focus our attention on finding Vanessa Hale," Angela said, drawing everyone's attention to her. "And Embry Call and shutting down Dwyer's operation. I'll be damned if let that asshole kill one more person."

"Okay, first thing tomorrow, we focus our attention on Embry Call." Carlisle stood up and grabbed the back of his neck. "Give me a minute alone with them."

Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela seemed reluctant, but did as Carlisle asked and left us alone. Carlisle sighed.

"Y'all both should have called me." His voice broke and he blinked several times. "I get not calling the others, I do, but damn it, we're different."

Carlisle shifted his eyes to Edward. "I had to explain to Esme why I wasn't there to back you up. You're my brother in every sense of the word, yet you don't trust me."

"I do trust you," Edward said. "But, Carlisle, he had her. For all I knew, Dwyer was killing her. All I could think about was getting to her."

"Yeah, I know." Carlisle looked over at me. "You're such a bitch, you know that?"

"I do," I admitted. "You're an asshole."

Carlisle shook his head. "Yeah, I am. You could have been killed, both of you could have been killed."

"I had to finish this, Car," I told him. "From the moment he walked into Garrett and Kate's hospital room, it had to be me. Dwyer chose me because he knew I was the only one dumb enough to keep chasing him, and smart enough to catch him."

Carlisle scoffed as he reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the bed and into his arms. Wrapping mine around him, I laid my head against his chest. "You know you're gonna have to explain this to Esme, right? She's even madder than I am."

"I know," I whispered. "But I'd do it again. Car, he's saved me too many times for me not to be the one coming to his aid this time."

Carlisle kissed my forehead. "I know, but I need you, Bell. Esme needs you, the girls need you. Fuck, everyone in our fucked up family needs you."

"And I need you — all of you," I whimpered.

Carlisle released a heavy breath. "It's gonna take some time for me to get this clear up, so don't be expecting to see any field time for a while."

I looked back at Edward. "Don't think that's gonna be a problem. My partner's gonna be down for a bit, too."

"Okay, I'll check back with you tomorrow," Carlisle said before looking over at Edward. "Call your sister, she's worried sick."

"Yeah, sure," Edward quipped. Carlisle nodded and left us alone. I looked back at Edward. "Partner, huh? Does that mean you're not leaving the Bureau again?"

I sat back down on his bed, draping myself over his legs once again. "No. I don't think I can leave again, Edward — not you or the team. I've just gotta figure out to get this fucked up shit out of my head."

Edward placed his hand on my hip and leaned forward and kissed me. "We'll do it together."

"I love you, Edward. I haven't been the wife that you deserve, but I do love you."

"I love you, too, baby. You and I are going to get our shit together and our marriage will survive, and that's a promise."

Lying up next to him, I carefully draped my arm around him and prayed that he was right. I loved him too damn much to lose him now.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate your patience lately.**


	34. Chapter 33

"Jesus fucking Christ," Edward swore. I looked over my shoulder, finding him sitting on the side of his bed, one arm wrapped around his waist in a vain effort to try to hold his sore and tender ribs.

"Need help?" I asked.

He shook his head, just as he had every time I asked. Pressing my lips together, I turned back to bag Carlisle had brought us the day before. He'd simply placed the bag inside Edward's room and left. Needless to say, things between Carlisle and I were still tense, and I feared they always would be. Maybe I'd finally pushed him away too much and had lost him for good.

"You sure? Starting to sound like a pussy over there?"

"I'm sure," he hissed.

Pulling a pair of sweats out of the bag, I turned back to him and sighed. Edward was standing, but the look of anguish on his face told me that it wasn't easy for him.

"Just let me help," I said, shaking my head.

"I — I don't need it," he muttered, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Okay, whatever." I tossed the sweats onto the bed and grabbed a clean T-shirt. "I'm gonna go see if Adam has your discharge papers together."

Edward nodded, but didn't utter a sound. I knew he was hurting more than he wanted to admit. I wouldn't begrudge him for the need to be strong. Lord knows I'd been there and done that. Besides, right now, I didn't care. Edward and I were going home — together. Once we were there, we'd be able to get our lives back.

Adam was standing at the nurses' desk when I came out. He looked over at me and smiled. He would never know how much his support and caring hand had made the difference. And not just to me, either. No, he'd gone the extra step ever since we brought Garrett and Kate here. He had become a friend, someone we'd be able to count on if or when we ever found ourselves in this position again. I shuddered at the thought of going through more Hell. However, the past five years had taught me that there would always be some type of torture out there for me, or someone I loved.

"About ready to head home?" he asked, closing the chart he'd been scribbling in and turning to face me.

I leaned against the desk and nodded. "More than ready. Got his papers?"

"I do." Adam handed me the stack. "Now, I don't think I have to tell you this, but he's gonna need to take it easy for a while. Even though he didn't break any ribs, his body still went through a huge trauma."

"Yeah, I know." A shudder ran through me. "Thank you. I know I've said it a dozen times, but thank you for everything."

"Don't thank me," he replied. "It's the least I can do for the Bureau."

"Believe me, it's not."

Clutching the papers to my chest, I walked back over to Edward's room. He was sitting on the side of the bed with his pants bound up around his knees and a light layer of sweat on his forehead. Shaking my head, I walked over to him, put the papers on the bed, and wrapped my arms around his torso, carefully lifting him off the bed.

"Lean on me," I told him. When he'd shifted his weight onto me, I shimmied his pants up his legs and over his hips. "Okay, now sit back down slowly."

Edward huffed out a heavy breath as he followed my instructions. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Bringing my hand up to his face, I brushed his hair back. "Maybe you should stay here one more day."

"No. I want to go home," he insisted, shifting his eyes up to mine. "I need to be at home with you, baby."

I smiled. "Okay. Well, as soon as they bring in the wheelchair, we can go."

Edward groaned. "Stupid chair."

Laughing, I leaned in and kissed him. "Suck it up, love."

"Don't want to," he grumbled.

"Don't care," I chirped as the door to Edward's room opened. Smiling, I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see Adam with the wheelchair, but instead, I saw Esme standing there. "Hey."

"Hey," she murmured, shifting her eyes from me to Edward. Her lips began to tremble. "You stupid, little son-of-a-bitch! How could you do that?"

"Esme," I started, but she crossed the room and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from her brother and slamming me against the wall. "Esme!"

"Shut up!" she screamed. "I'm tired of you putting yourself in danger. When are you going to learn from your mistakes?"

"Esme, stop," Edward said, trying to stand up.

She snapped her attention to him, the glare on her face would normally bring him to his knees but Edward didn't even flinch. "Don't get me started on you."

"God, you're being such a drama queen," Edward scoffed.

Esme released a harsh, hateful laugh. "I'm the drama queen?" She shook her head, dislodging the tears that had been hanging onto her lashes. "I've sat back for over a year and watched you both slowly self-destructing because you wouldn't let go of the guilt that you felt over what happened to Bella."

Releasing her hold on me, Esme took a few steps back and dragged her hands over her face and through her hair. Shaking her head, she looked over at Edward. "You didn't fail her."

I wasn't sure what Esme was talking about, but before I could say anything, Edward spoke. "Didn't I?"

I snapped my eyes over to him, but he refused to look at me.

"I was supposed to keep her safe. After — after James took her from me, I swore that I'd never let anyone hurt her again. Yet, I sat there and watched as she broke apart; as she let ghosts haunt her. Why? Because I was afraid that she'd push me away. I failed her, Esme. Everything that has happened in the last two years is my fault."

Once again, I found myself unable to utter a sound.

"That's your problem right there," Esme grumbled. "You can't take responsibility for her getting taken. It's not your fault any more than it's hers."

"It is my fault, though," I said, causing her and Edward to look at me. "Isn't it?"

"No," Esme said. "James, Demetri, Mr. Big — all of those men are to blame for what you went through, Bella. The only thing you're to blame for is not moving on."

Turning away, I shook my head.

"Look at me!" Esme nearly screamed, grabbing my arm and spinning me back around. I brought my hand up, slamming it against her shoulder and pushing her away. At the exact moment that Esme stumbled backward, the door to Edward's room opened once again and Adam and Carlisle came in.

While Adam was looking between all three of us, Carlisle's focus was on his wife, who'd just fallen against the sink on the other side of the room. Snapping his eyes over to me, his expression hardened and he said, "Excuse us, Dr. Thornton."

"Um," Adam looked over at me, "okay."

Turning, he nearly sprinted out of the room. Carlisle stepped inside and let the door close before he spoke again. "What the fuck is going on here?"

"Nothing," I muttered, dropping my focus to the ground.

"Yeah, nothing," Esme echoed.

"I'll tell you what's going on here," Edward said, drawing all of our attentions. "Esme came in here, busting our asses about how big of assholes we've been."

"I did not!" Esme exclaimed and I barely managed to stifle my snort. She had, but I didn't feel the need to argue with her.

"Yes, you did," Edward argued. "You know, I don't really give a fuck if you're pissed with me, either, Esme. I went to that warehouse because I thought my wife was in danger. I don't regret my choice, and I can't believe that you'd come here and give me shit about it."

"Oh, well, that's just great!" Esme snarled.

"Everyone calm down," Carlisle barked out, moving so that he was standing between Esme and Edward and I. He took a deep breath and looked over at his wife. "Honey, I know you're upset — I do — but I told you that this wasn't the time."

"It's never the time, is it? Just keep being patient and wait for them to come to us for help." Esme's voice cracked, and I felt my eyes fill with tears.

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I struggled to keep them from pouring down my face.

"I am so tired of everyone judging me." The moment the words tumbled from between my lips, everyone turned and looked at me. "I'm a fucked up mess. I know that, but I'm doing the best I can. You have no idea how hard it is just to breathe every day. You think I like being so fucked up? I don't, I hate every fucking minute of it."

I paused, and wiped the tears off my face. "I've lost Alice and Rose, Charlie and Renee because I can't even handle a simple phone call from them right now. The rest of the team thinks that it would have been better if I hadn't come back."

"No, they don't," Carlisle and Edward said together.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, they do. Since I came back, it's been one judgment after another. And you know what, I don't fucking care anymore. I'm done giving a fuck what they think, and I'm done giving a fuck about what you think."

Walking over to the door, I grabbed the wheelchair and pushed it over to Edward, setting the brakes. I slipped my arms around him and helped him stand up. He groaned, but didn't say anything. I helped him into the chair and then grabbed his discharge papers off the bed. Handing them to Edward, I moved to the back of his chair, released the brakes, and pulled him over to the door. I opened it and held it open with my hip before shifting my eyes over to Carlisle and Esme.

"I need you both — more than I probably should. Once, you were the only people that I had that didn't judge me for the mistakes I've made, or blame me for not being perfect. Guess that's over now."

Without another word to either of them, I pulled Edward out of the room and let the door shut behind us. Adam was leaning against the nurses' desk and straightened up when he saw us.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yep. We're ready to leave."

Adam stared at me for just a moment before motioning for us to follow him over to the elevator. I was surprised that he was going to escort us from the hospital himself, but I wasn't sure why. Adam had gone the extra mile from day one.

Once I had Edward in the front seat of my car, I turned back to Adam. "Thanks again."

"You're welcome, Bella. If you need anything, please call." Adam held out one of his business cards. "And I do mean anything."

I took it from him and slipped it into my back pocked. "I will. Promise."

With one last look at the hospital, I turned and rushed around, climbing in behind the wheel. Looking over at Edward, I smiled. "You ready?"

"More than ready."

"Me, too."

**Thank you for all the reviews! I apologize for the delay, but life has not been a box of chocolates. Anyhoo, I know this chapter is short, but not too sweet. Seems like everyone wants to busts their asses, huh?**


	35. Chapter 34

With each step I ran, sand flew into the air, dancing in the cool breeze floating off the water. My heart was racing, pounding against my ribs and begging me to slow down. But I couldn't. Not until I worked the tension out of my body. Once again, I'd found myself lost in a world of pain and anguish, only to scream and thrash against the bed. As he always had, Edward woke me up, pulling me out of Hell, and saving me. I didn't deserve him, but I couldn't let him go, either.

When the beach house came into view, I slowed into a walk and tried to take a few deep breaths. Running always helped, but only for a limited time. Usually once I stopped and let myself think about everything, the anxiousness crept over me again. I was trying to work through it all, writing my feelings out in my journal and talking to Edward when I found myself getting scared. But it was hard to admit just how much I'd kept locked up inside. Seeing as how the rest of our team, Esme, Alice, Rose, Kate, and our parents were pissed with me and Edward for being "selfish" and "reckless," we were alone — completely and utterly alone.

Turning toward the beach house, I stopped short when I saw Garrett and Kate sitting on the porch with Edward. The three of them looked over at me, but my attention was focused on Kate, who was nervously biting her fingernails. Kate wasn't the type to normally be so jittery, so either she was scared out of her mind, or she pissed about being here. After the last few months, I was betting on number two.

"Hey, Bella," Garrett called out, standing up.

"Garrett," I muttered, bringing my arms up around my torso. "How are you doing?"

"Eh, I'm okay," he said, walking down the front steps and down to where I was standing. Slowly, he reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. I tried to stifle my flinch, but I couldn't. My nerves were on fire and I couldn't hide it. "You look . . . well, you look like shit."

I almost smiled — almost, but couldn't, not when my life felt like it was spinning out of control once again. "I feel like shit, so that's good, I guess."

Garrett nodded and dropped his hand to his side, shifting his body so that we were facing Edward and Kate, who'd walked down the steps, but were standing a good five feet away from us. "Um, can we go inside or sit down? It's still hard to be on my feet for long."

"Yeah, of course," Edward said, giving me a look that said to be open-minded. "I'll make some coffee."

Taking a deep breath, I murmured, "Yeah, okay," and walked past Garrett, Kate, and Edward and going into the house. Turning to them, I added, "I'm just gonna clean up real quick."

"All right." Edward walked over to me and kissed me, doing his best to hide the fact that his ribs and chest were still tender. It'd been a week since we left the hospital, a week since I'd found Edward hanging by his hands inside that warehouse, a week since I killed Phil Dwyer. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whimpered, grabbing the front of his shirt, "so much."

Releasing my hold on him, I turned and walked into our bedroom, closing the door behind me and leaning against the heavy wood. I could do this; I could sit down with the one person who hadn't bullshitted about how they blamed me for everything that had happened to Garrett and Kate.

Pushing away from the door, I stripped off my clothes and walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower. While the water warmed, I moved over and stood in front of the vanity, looking at myself in the mirror. Outwardly, I looked almost normal. With the exception of dark circles under my eyes, and the frown lines etched into my forehead, I looked like the same Bella from before. Only, I knew I'd never be the same old Bella. I'd gone through too much, and after more than a year of fighting that, I accepted my fate.

"Baby, you okay?" Edward asked, knocking on the door.

"Yeah, I'll be right out," I called out, knowing that he worried about me more than he should. Edward had been through his own hell and instead of taking the time to deal with his shit, he was worried about me. Just one more way that I was being a selfish bitch.

Turning away from the mirror, I stepped into the shower and let the water wash over me. I took my time, making sure to wash every inch of my body and try to relax my shoulders. Once the water started turning cool, I turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, and climbed out. Walking into the bedroom, I dried off and tossed my towel into the hamper. Then, I pulled on a pair of panties, a bra, a pair of cotton shorts, and one of Edward's T-shirts, needing to be closer to him right now.

After dragging my hairbrush through my hair, I took another deep breath and walked back out into the living room. Edward was sitting on the hearth to the fireplace with his elbows resting on his knees and a cup of coffee clutched between his hands. Kate and Garrett were sitting on one of the sofas, both with their own cups.

"Hey," Edward said, looking over at me. He stood up and offered me his hand. I could feel my cheeks warm as I walked over and slipped my fingers into his, allowing him to pull me into his embrace. Placing a soft kiss on my forehead, he leaned his lips down to my ear. "It's okay."

"I know," I murmured, and turned to Garrett and Kate. "Y'all need more coffee?"

"No, we're good," Garrett said, sliding his hand into Kate's.

Nodding, I looked over at Edward. "You?"

"I could use a refill," he said, holding his cup out to me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Taking it from him, I walked into the kitchen and refilled his cup before pouring one of my own. I walked back into the living room and sat next to Edward, handing him his cup. An awkward silence filled the room. Kate looked like she was ready to claw her skin off. Sighing, I drew their attention to me. "This is weird. We used to not have trouble being in the same room together."

"No, we didn't," Garrett agreed. "But that was before."

"Yeah, before," I muttered, dropping my attention to the floor.

"Bella." At the sound of Kate's voice, I snapped my head up to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry. I was angry and bitter because of what had happened to us. I didn't . . . I still don't know how to deal with all of this, and you were there, so I lashed out at you."

Nodding, I brought my hand up to my mouth. "You weren't wrong, though. I should have been there."

"Bullshit," Garrett scoffed, causing us to look at him. "You did what you had to do for your own sanity. Maybe we didn't understand at the time, but now, I get it."

"But if I'd been on the job, Lili would have sent that shit to me, and not you," I argued.

"Lili?" he asked. "Who's Lili?"

I closed my eyes, huffing. "They didn't tell you?"

"Nobody's told us shit," Garrett said, scooting to the front of the couch.

"Son of a bitch," Edward groused, standing up. "I can't believe they'd put this on our shoulders."

"Put what?" Kate asked, looking between us. "What the hell is going on here?"

Shaking my head, I placed my coffee cup on the floor and clasped my hands together, trying to organize my thoughts. "After you told me to get the stuff that L. St. John from your house, we started trying to decode everything she'd sent you."

"She? L. St. John is a woman?" Garrett interrupted.

"Yes," I said. "Her real name is . . . was Lillian Stimmons Johnson or Lili as I knew her."

"You knew her?" Kate looked confused.

Nodding, I said, "Yes. Carlisle and I worked with her New York before she went missing a dozen years ago."

"Wait. I'm confused. If she went missing, then how can you be sure that she's the one who sent me that shit?" Garrett asked.

"Because she encrypted the photos on the flash drive, knowing that I'd be the only one who could break it," I explained. I went on to explain about how I'd uncovered the code using my own software, and how we knew Peter was involved, but before we could confront him, Emily had been killed. Then I told them about our trip to Houston, how The Program lured us in, and Charlotte's involvement in the organization. "They needed our help to track down our suspect, a man by the name of Phil Dwyer." I turned and looked at Kate. "Phil Dwyer is your biological brother, Kate."

Her eyes bugged out of her head and she scrambled to her feet, backing away from all of us. "I don't have a brother."

"You do," I said, hating that once again I was hurting her again. "You were adopted when you were a year old. Your birth parents were Eric and Sasha Dwyer. Sasha is the younger sister to Riley Biers' mother, Irina. She and Eric met in LA, though we haven't been able to find a lot of information on either of them. A couple of years later, they returned to Texas. Two years after that, Sasha supposedly died in a car accident and Eric Dwyer disappeared."

"Supposedly?" Edward asked.

I nodded. "Sasha and Eric Dwyer faked their death, and became Royce and Rebecca Hale."

Edward gasped, while Garrett and Kate looked confused. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Phil confirmed it. It's why he went after them, why he went after Vanessa."

"Wait," Kate cried out. "Who is Vanessa?"

Hesitating for a moment, I sighed. "Vanessa Hale is your younger sister."

Kate simply stared at me for a moment before she closed her eyes and shook her head. "So now I have a brother and a sister that I never knew about? This is cruel, Bella."

"I'm not lying," I argued. "Vanessa Hale is fifteen years old. She was taken from her parents' house a few weeks ago, and none of them have been seen since. We have security tapes that show Phil Dwyer outside of her high school."

Kate slung back down onto the sofa, placing her face in her hands. "Is she dead?"

"I don't think so," I murmured, causing her to look up at me. "I believe she's with Embry Call, but right now, we have no idea where they are."

"My entire life has been a lie," Kate wept. Garrett sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling his wife into his arms. "Gar, I don't know what to do now."

"I know, baby, I know," he whispered, before looking over at me. "When L. St. John, or Lili, or whoever she was, sent me that information, did she know that Dwyer is . . . or was Kate's brother?"

I shared a look with Edward before replying, "Yes, I think so."

"Stupid bitch," he spat.

"But I believe Dwyer would have come after Kate eventually," I added, causing them both to shift their eyes to mine. "Dwyer manipulated the Biers family into sending Riley to his treatment facility in Columbia. By placing the behavior modification chip in Riley, Dwyer would be ensuring that Riley would inherit his father's money, and bank rolling his operation. When Riley was killed, I believe it sent Dwyer into a tailspin. When he found out from Embry Call that Lili had sent information about The Program to Garrett, Phil put everything together, including the fact that he's your biological brother."

Kate shuddered. "I don't understand. If he is or was my brother, then how could he . . ." She trailed off. "They did things to me, Bella. When they had me tied to that chair, they touched themselves, rubbed themselves on me. How could my brother do that to me?"

Bringing my hand up to the front of my shirt, I fisted the collar between my fingers and sat back down on the hearth. "There's not always an answer, Kate."

She looked over at me.

"Only a few people know this, but after I'd discovered that James Sanders was my half-brother and he kidnapped me, he — let's just say that I understand how you feel." I swallowed against the bile creeping up in my throat. "I wish I could give you a reason for the way Dwyer came at you, but I can't. We may never know why, and we have to accept that we can't change what happened to us — to any of us," I said, looking at Edward.

He smiled, but didn't say anything.

Kate dragged a hand through her long, silky blond hair. "This is so surreal. An hour ago, I was an only child, and now I've learned that man who tried to kill me and Garrett is or was my brother, who kidnapped my sister." Kate laughed, though it didn't sound real and looked over at me. "This is bullshit, right?"

"I wish it was," I replied.

Kate blew out a heavy breath and nodded. "Me too."

"What I don't understand is why Dwyer tried to kill Kate, but he kidnapped Vanessa," Garrett said, sliding his hand into Kate's. "Why pick one sister over the other?"

"Phil was a sociopath. All he cared about was himself and furthering his work. This is total speculation on my part, I don't think the chip is as effective on adults, which is why he targets kids and teenagers. Since you're only a few years younger than him, he knew the chip wouldn't be as affective on you and figured he'd eliminate you from the equation altogether."

"When he realized that he'd failed to kill you both, he returned to the hospital to finish the job, but you weren't alone. Bella was there. He became fascinated with her and taunted her in playing his game," Edward added.

"I agree," I said, once again reminded of how many people had been hurt because I'd failed to take him out the first time I encountered him. "When Dwyer learned about Vanessa, he took her thinking that your parents would run back to Irina and Alastair Biers and beg for them to help."

"Did they?" Kate asked.

"No," Edward said. "Or at least, we don't believe so. When we checked out the Hale house, it had been ransacked, but hanging in each room was a series of photographs. Mostly nature stuff, but on the back of each one was a simple word. I've been trying to figure them out, but so far, I haven't been able to work it out."

"What were the words?" Garrett asked, pulling out a small notebook. It'd become a part of our training, one that I was glad to see he still remembered.

"More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, the," Edward and I said together.

"That was creepy," Garrett snorted, before writing them out in his notebook. "More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, and the. This all sounds like gibberish."

"Yeah, pretty much what we think, too." I sighed, and grabbed the back of my neck. "There is still so much of this that doesn't make sense."

"No shit," Kate muttered, shaking her head.

An awkward silence filled the room once again. I knew Kate was in information overload. Hell, I understood. For me, Edward, and Garrett processing this type of stuff came with the job, but Kate owned a bar. This wasn't something she'd ever had to handle before.

After a few minutes, she looked over at me. "Bella, can you forgive me for lashing out at you? I didn't really blame you; you were just a convenient target."

"Story of my life," I grumbled.

"I swear I didn't mean it," she pleaded with me, sliding to her knees and crawling over to me. Grabbing my hands, she pulled them to her chest. "I was just so angry."

"At me?" I cried.

"A little. I was pissed at you for needing time for yourself, Edward for not being there with Garrett that night, the rest of the team for not being there." Kate paused, and looked over her shoulder at her husband. "At Garrett for putting me in that position."

He flinched, but didn't say anything and something told me this was an issue they'd been working on a lot over the last few weeks. Kate looked back at me. "I was wrong, I know that now. I just need you to forgive me."

"There's nothing for me to forgive, Kate," I wept. "You were angry, I get it. Besides, you were right; I should have been there."

"No, Bella, you shouldn't have," Garrett said, causing us to look over at him. "Maybe the rest of the assholes on our team feel like you abandoned us last year, but fuck, you went through Hell! You needed time to process and deal. Maybe that hasn't been as easy as we want it to be, but shit, until I'd been somewhat in your shoes, I didn't understand. Now that I have, I'm not going to tell you how to deal — not ever again."

"Maybe that should be our club motto," I scoffed.

Edward, Garrett, and Kate laughed.

"Maybe," Edward said, sitting down next to me. Sliding his arm around my waist, he tugged me against him, wincing. "Shit."

"You really need to stop doing that," I murmured, laying my head on his shoulder. Looking down at Kate, I smiled. "What are we going to do with these two, Kate?"

She grinned and moved back over to Garrett, sliding onto the sofa next to him. "I don't know, Bella. Love them, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess," I laughed.

As another round of silence set in around us, I sighed inwardly. At least Kate and Garrett didn't hate me anymore.

**Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay, but real life got in the way. We have roughly eight chapters left in this story.**


	36. Chapter 35

Standing in front of the mirror, I fidgeted with the cuff on my white dress shirt before sighing and pulling at the buttons to take it off.

"Um, not that I have a problem seeing your boobs, baby, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to go back to work with them hanging out like that," Edward laughed.

Shifting my eyes up to his through the mirror, I could feel my lips trembling. Edward's smile dropped immediately and he pushed off the frame and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me protectively.

"It's okay to be scared," he whispered.

"Yeah?" I asked.

Edward nodded. "I'm terrified, Bella, but we have to go back. We still have an active investigation, and we both need to prove to the rest of the team that we're not going to give up now."

"You make it sound so easy," I mumbled, sliding out from under his arms and fixing the buttons on my shirt. I turned back to face him. "Do I look okay?"

He smirked. "You look hot."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled at him. "Whatever. Let's go before I change my mind."

Edward laughed, slipped his hand into mine, and led me out of our bedroom. On the table next to the door were his keys and my travel coffee cup. Looking proud of himself, Edward picked my cup up and handed it to me. Yeah, it was full. He was a keeper.

"I love you," I said with a sigh.

"I love you, too," he chuckled.

Together, we walked out of the beach house and over to his car and climbed in. While Edward drove us to the office, I thought about everything that had gone down in the last couple of weeks since Garrett and Kate had shown up on our porch. The four of us were still rebuilding the trust we'd lost. Edward admitted to being hurt that Garrett hadn't trusted him enough to tell him about the information that Lili sent him. And while Garrett didn't think there was anything to tell him, he admitted that he had been wrong for not confiding in his partner, but explained that he'd been partnered with Ben for so long, it was hard for him to trust anyone else. Edward looked over at me and said he understood, and I think he did. Edward and I worked better together than we did apart, too.

Kate was still struggling with the fact that Phil Dwyer was her brother, and that she had a sister out there somewhere. So was I. Every night I had dreams about Vanessa Hale, where she begged me to help her. The words from the photos in her parents' house floated around me, but I still couldn't figure out the order they were supposed to be in. More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, and the — every time I thought about them, I found myself getting more and more anxious. I believed that the message would tell us where Vanessa Hale was being held, but how the hell was I supposed to be able to figure it out?

"You okay?" Edward asked, pulling me out of my mental ramblings.

I smiled. "No, but you already knew that."

"I did," he admitted, "but it's nice to hear you being honest about it."

"I'm trying," I said as he pulled into his usual parking space. "You're not going to leave me, right?"

"Never," Edward promised, lifting my hand up to his lips.

Nodding, I took a deep breath and opened my car door, slipping my hand out of his and climbing out of the car. Coming back to work after nearly three weeks off was harder than it ever had before, and I knew that was because we hadn't spoken to anyone on our team except for Garrett and Carlisle since that day in the hospital. Carlisle had called us two days ago and informed me that the official review of Phil's death had been closed and I had been officially cleared of any wrongdoing. I wasn't sure I was ready to come back, but then again, I didn't think I ever would be. However, it was clear that as long as my family was tied to the Bureau, then I would be, too, and make no mistakes about it, Carlisle, Garrett, and the rest of the team were just as much my family as Edward was.

Falling into step with me, Edward and I made our way inside and heading over to the elevator. As we walked through the lobby, people stopped and stared at us, whispering under their breath about the agents who took down Phil Dwyer. I wanted to scream at them to shut the fuck up. I wanted to throw my fist into their faces until they shut the fuck up, but I didn't do either of those. Instead, I clenched my fists into balls and waited for the elevator doors to open so we could go to an all new level of Hell.

After a couple of minutes, the elevator arrived back in the lobby and Edward and I stepped on, ignoring the pointed stares that followed us. Edward placed his hand on the small of my back and I looked up at him, smiling. He always knew what I needed, most of the time before I did.

The doors opened on our floor and we stepped out, drawing the attention of the rest of our team. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela were seated at the conference table with cups of coffee in their hands. They stopped talking the moment they spotted us, and I shifted my attention over to Carlisle's office, surprised to find him standing in the doorway with a stack of folders in his arms.

"Hey," he said, clearing his throat as he walked over to us. "I wasn't expecting you today."

"We know," I murmured. "Figured it'd be best to surprise you."

"Yeah, because we like surprises," Emmett grumbled, and I closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears swimming in my eyes from falling.

"You may not like it, McCarty, but I love it." I spun around and saw Garrett standing behind us. He'd just come out of the staircase and was glaring at Emmett, Jasper, Ben, Angela, and Carlisle.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm here to work," he stated giving me a look that I understood immediately. He and Kate knew Edward and I were coming back and wanted to support us anyway they could. Since Kate wasn't ready to deal with everyone yet, the responsibility fell on Garrett's shoulders. Or perhaps it was the guilt he still felt for dragging us into all of this in the first place. Like me, Garrett was going to struggle with the guilt of not being perfect for the rest of his life.

"Oh," I said, clearing my throat. "Well, welcome back."

"Thanks, Bella." Garrett smiled before walking around us and heading over to his desk. He had a slight limp to his step. Dropping into his seat, he looked around at everyone. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing," Jasper replied, shifting his eyes from Garrett, to Edward, to me. "Just trying to dig up what we can about . . ." He trailed off as he looked at Garrett.

"About?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Dwyer," I stated, walking over and sitting at my desk. "You won't find anything that he didn't want us to find. The man was too fucking smart to leave a trail behind."

"We have to try," Emmett said, dismissively. "It's kind of our jobs."

Digging his wallet out of his back pocket, Emmett pulled out a handful of photographs and walked over to my desk, laying them in front of me. "_Your_ sister wanted to give these to you herself, but since _you_ are ignoring her — again — I thought I would give them to you."

Tears filled my eyes and my heart began to race as I picked up the pictures of Judd and Miles. They'd gotten so big over the last few months; I barely recognized them. They both looked like Emmett, though their blonde hair was all Rose. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I tried to stop myself from sobbing. Emmett knelt down next to me, placing one hand on my back and the other over the hand that was holding the pictures.

"They need their Auntie Bella. Just like Izzy and Abby need you, so do my sons, Bella. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I've tried, but I can't. Don't let your anger and fear beat you down."

"I'm trying not to," I whispered, unable to keep the tears from falling. "It hurts every day, Em. Every day. I pick up the phone to call her, but I can't even press the first number before the panic takes over and I throw the phone down. I miss her, so fucking much, but I still can't pick up the phone and call her."

Reaching across my desk, he pulled my phone over and lifted the phone off the base, holding it out to me. "Then I'll dial. All you have to do is talk."

"Em." I shook my head, but took the phone from him.

"Please," he whispered. "I can't handle one more night of holding her while she cries."

Words left me and all I could was nod. Emmett released a sigh of relieve as he began punching in his home number. I brought the phone up to my ear and closed my eyes as it rang one, twice, a third time before I heard a click, followed by Rose's breathless, "Hello."

"Rose," I whispered.

She gasped. "Bella."

"Rose," I cried, feeling my entire body shake with my tears.

"Bella," she wept. "I — Are you okay?"

"No," I admitted, wiping my tears off with the back of my hand. A box of tissues got pushed in front of me and I looked up to see Jasper standing there. "I'm a mess, Rose. Things are just out of control, and I'm struggling a lot right now."

"I figured as much with how you stopped calling," she murmured. "Is it the case?"

"Partly," I replied, grabbing a tissue and wiping the tears off my cheeks. "But it's me. I'm scared all the time. I don't know what do this time, Rosie. I'm lost."

Before Rose could say anything else, the elevator chimed and the doors slid opened. We all looked over and saw Peter walk off and look directly at me. My blood boiled in my veins as I hung up on Rose without even saying goodbye. She'd be pissed at me, but what else was new. Right now, everyone hated me and Peter was at the center of all of it.

"Get the fuck out of here," Edward snarled before I could say anything.

"I'm here to make peace," Peter insisted, placing his hands in the air.

"We don't want to make peace with you," I seethed. "You've done nothing but lie to us from the start. You nearly cost Garrett and Kate their lives and you are responsible for Emily's death!" I screamed, causing him to flinch.

"Look, I know —"

"You don't know shit," Carlisle growled. "If it wouldn't cost me my job, Director, I'd beat your ass into the ground and shit on you, but my team needs me."

"And I want to help," Peter insisted.

"Help?" I snarled scrambling to my feet and lunging for him. However, he stepped back and Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, pulling me away from the traitorous bastard. "Let me go! I'll kick his fucking ass!"

"Stop, Bell," Carlisle whispered, bringing his lips down by my ear. "He isn't worth losing your job over. Just stop."

"Emily, Car?" I whimpered. "And Lili, and Garrett and Kate — he's responsible for all of it."

"I know, honey," Carlisle soothed, turning me in his arms and nestling me against his chest. "Leave, Director. Just get the fuck off my floor."

"Look, I'm sorry —"

Before he could finish his attempt at a lame apology, the phone on my desk rang. Everyone stopped and looked over at it. I pulled myself away from Carlisle and walked over, wrapping my fingers around the phone and lifting it off the cradle.

"This is Agent Swan," I murmured.

"Bella, it's Jake."

At the sounds of his tenor voice crooning through my phone, I shifted my eyes over to Edward. "Hey, Jake." Just as I knew he would, Edward's jaw clenched tight and he balled his hands into angry fists. He hated Jacob Black almost as much as Carlisle did. "What's up?"

"Um, NYPD picked up a young girl wandering through the streets early this morning, and once they got her to calm down, they took her prints."

"Okay," I said, keeping my eyes locked on Edward's. "Why are you telling me?"

"Because the girl they picked up is Vanessa Hale."

**Thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay, but there are so many reasons why this chapter took so long. First, real life is a bitch and I started a new job a few weeks ago, but have since had to quit said job after I tore the meniscus in my right knee. Awesome, right? Yeah, it's been a blast being laid up in bed for days, unable to hardly move from the pain and swelling in my knee. Also, I've had a bit of writer's block on Where Love Began, and was struggling with not getting that update written that I was afraid to even attempt this chapter. But I did and here it is. Big steps were made for Bella today, even if it doesn't seem like it. Next chapter we job back into some action! Seven more chapters to go!**


	37. Chapter 36

My heart clenched in my chest and I snapped my eyes up to Edward. "What?"

"I said we found Vanessa Hale," Jacob repeated through my phone. "She was taken to the 34th Precinct, but as soon as they realized who she was, they called us. Seth and I brought her back to the Bureau. Bella, she's . . . I don't know, she's terrified. She's refusing to speak and just kind of stares at everyone."

Closing my eyes, I slid into my chair and took a deep breath. "We'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and opened my eyes, turning so I could look at everyone. The words trembled as they tumbled out of my mouth. "They've found Vanessa Hale."

Breathless gasps filled the room and shook sprang up on Edward's face. "Where?"

"New York," I mumbled before standing up. I looked at Carlisle. "We need to go."

He stared at me for a few seconds before nodding and facing the rest of the team. "Everyone be ready in five."

"Okay. I just need to get something from my office," Peter said before anyone could as much as lift a finger.

Carlisle glared at him. "You're not a part of my team, Director, and you certainly aren't coming with us. You've fucked this case up enough."

Peter looked like he was going to argue, but one glance in my direction and he nodded before turning and walking over to the elevator, pressing the down arrow. When the doors slid open, he stepped inside, and looked at me. "I'm sorry." Letting the doors close, Peter left us alone.

_Because him being sorry makes everything he did, or didn't do, better_, I thought. Shaking my head, I turned to Carlisle. "We need to hurry."

He nodded before running over his office. I packed up our case files, making sure to grab the photos of Phil Dwyer off the board. Behind me, I could hear the rest of our team springing into action. Emmett and Jasper called my sisters, telling them they had to go to New York and promising them that everything would be okay. I only prayed that they were right, because right now, everything felt fucked up again.

"Baby, you can't," Garrett muttered and I looked back at him. He was sitting at his desk, one hand cradling the phone up to his ear, while leaning against his other hand. "Because it's dangerous . . . I know . . . I know . . .Kate, I know, but you can't come with us!"

I put the case files down on my desk and walked over to Garret, placing my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me, tears filling his eyes. "Let me talk to her."

Garrett nodded and handed me the phone.

"Kate," I murmured.

"Bella, you have to let me go with you," she cried, almost to the point of sounding hysterical. "Please! I can't . . . If something happens to him, I'll die. Please, Bella? Please!"

Closing my eyes, I tried to keep my own tears from falling. "Okay, Katie," I whispered. "I'm going to come get you. Have a bag ready and be waiting. We need to hurry."

"Oh, thank you, Bella," she blurted out. "I'll be ready. I promise!"

I didn't respond as I handed Garrett the phone back. He opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head and he clamped his lips together and turned his attention back to Kate, telling her what to pack.

I looked back at Edward, who was standing with Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela. All of them were staring at me and I could tell the latter four were uncertain about letting Kate go with us, but as Edward understood, Kate needed to be with us, to make sure that Garrett was okay. He was her everything, just as Edward was mine.

"I'll meet you at the airport," I muttered, holding my hand out for Edward's keys. He didn't reply, just dug them out of his pocket and dropped them into my palm. Walking over to Carlisle's office, I knocked on the door, causing him to look up as he pulled a file out of his desk. "Kate's coming with us."

"She is?" he asked, and I nodded. "Funny. I don't recall authorizing that decision."

"She can't stay here alone, Car. With Garrett . . ." I trailed off and shook my head. "She just can't."

He nodded and pulled open the bottom drawer on his desk. Reaching inside, he straightened up a moment later and held my gun and badge out to me. "You'll need these."

My legs felt like iron weights were tied to them as I crossed the room and took my gun and badge from him. The moment they were in my hand I knew I'd never be able to leave the FBI again. As horrible as the last year and a half had been, and no matter how much I struggled just to breathe every day, the Bureau was my home.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he said, and when I looked up at him, he was smiling. "Now move your ass. We need to get going."

"We'll meet you there."

Turning on my heel, I ran out of his office, bypassing the elevator and ran down the stairs. The agents in the lobby stopped and stared at me as I ran through, but I couldn't care, not anymore. I had one focus and that was getting Kate so we could get to Vanessa. Sliding behind the wheel of Edward's car, I adjusted the seat and started it before shifting in reverse and driving away.

It took me almost ten minutes to get to Kate and Garrett's house. Just as she said she would be, Kate was standing on the front porch with a small black duffle bag in her hands. She rushed down the front walk, tossed her bag into the backseat, and climbed into the front.

'Thanks," she murmured as I pulled away from the curb.

"You're welcome, I guess," I said. "I couldn't leave you behind. Not when . . ."

"Not when what?" she asked.

I shook my head and pulled around a car that was going way too slow. "Not when you and Gar are just starting to be okay again."

"I hated him," she whispered and I spared a look over, finding her staring out the window. "When he woke up and I found out about everything, I was so angry at him, Bella."

"I know. I was, too," I admitted. Kate looked over at me. "About a month after I left the Bureau, Garrett and Edward had caught a lead on one of our missing girls. It turned out to be a false alarm and the girl they'd found was a runaway. She'd left home after her parents caught her with drugs. When Garrett and Edward told me, I . . . well, I didn't handle it well because I'd been hoping and praying for just one more of our girls to be found alive."

Pulling up at the small, private airport the FBI used, I cut the engine and turned in my seat so that I was facing Kate. "I nearly gave my life for those girls, Kate, and I needed one of them to be okay, to be safe. I still do. I lost all control and started screaming, raging against Edward and Garrett for letting me down. Edward kept trying to wrap his arms around me, but I fought against him, hitting and scratching him. Garrett pushed Edward out of the way and leapt at me, taking me to the ground. He wrapped his legs and arms around me, holding me while I screamed until I was hoarse. Eventually, I began crying, but he still didn't let me go, Kate."

Pausing, I took a deep breath, sniffing back the tears that filled my eyes. "Garrett held me that night, Kate, so that Edward wouldn't have to. He told me that it was okay, that I could be angry. That night I put my trust in him, and you know that's not something I give easily. When you were attacked and we found out that Garrett had been keeping information from Edward and the team, I felt betrayed."

Kate reached over and grabbed my hand. "He never told me about that night."

"I asked him not to."

"Why?" she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Because it was hard enough knowing that everyone was judging me for leaving the job, that they thought I was weak. I worked really hard to appear to have everything together, when in fact I was walking a very fine line."

"Sometimes I can still feel their hands on me," Kate admitted, dropping her eyes to her lap. "I was having such a good day. Garrett was supposed to be home soon and I thought it'd be nice to surprise him." Kate shifted her attention up to me. "We wanted to have a baby."

"I know," I murmured and when her mouth opened, I added, "It was important that we knew everything about you both, honey."

"For the case," she muttered.

"Yeah." I wasn't sure what else to add.

"Does it ever get easier?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. You learn to function, I guess, but the pain is always there. At least it is for me."

"But you've been through more than me," she argued. "I mean, James, Demetri and his father, the team. Shouldn't I be able to just . . . I don't know, get over it?"

"Don't do that," I grumbled.

"Do what?"

"Don't act like my . . . issues or whatever . . . are more important than yours or Garrett's, or Edward's for that matter. You went through hell, and you're struggling to get from today to tomorrow, just like I do."

"I just wish I understood," she said, shaking her head. "I never knew him, yet he hated me. He took his anger over what our birth parents did to him out on me. Why? Why me? Why Garrett? I just don't understand."

"I don't either, honey. I wish I did," I murmured, shifting my attention over to the front door of the small hanger. Garrett was standing there with Edward, both of whom were staring at us. "We'd better go before they get pissed. Lord knows it doesn't take much."

"Yeah, okay."

Kate and I climbed out of the car. I waited until she had her bag before leading her over to Edward and Garrett, who promptly wrapped his arms around his wife and held her tight. They'd be okay, as long as they kept trying. Edward placed his hand on the small of my back as the four of us headed inside, finding the rest of our team waiting for us. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angele looked from me to Kate, but didn't say anything to either of us.

"Now that we're all here," Carlisle said, glaring at me, "we can go. Bella, have you briefed Kate?"

I shook my head.

"Briefed me about what?" Kate asked, looking from him to me. "Bella."

I took a deep breath. "Kate, the reason we're going to New York is because they found Vanessa last night."

"What?" she whispered. "Is — is she okay?"

"We don't know yet," I explained. "From what we've been told, she's refusing to speak to anyone."

Closing her eyes, Kate turned in Garrett's arms, laying her head on his chest. I hated that she was hurting, but knew there was nothing I could do to protect her — not anymore.

After a couple of minutes, we loaded onto the plane and got our seatbelts on. Garrett and Kate chose seats in the back, away from everyone. I think they both needed some time together. Going into the field for the first time after a trauma wasn't easy, something I knew way too much about. Emmett and Jasper took the seats across from Ben and Angela, while Carlisle sat in front of me and Edward, who had my hand firmly in his. The plane rolled down the runway and a few moments later, we were airborne and on the way to New York.

—BR—

We landed in New York a few hours later, finding two government-issued Suburban's waiting for us. Without a word, we climbed in and headed toward headquarters. The tension was intense, and I could feel the stress rolling off Kate, who sat in the backseat with Garrett and Edward while Carlisle and I were in the front.

I wanted to tell her it would be okay, but how could I when I didn't believe that for myself? We had no idea what horrors Vanessa Hale had been through, or if she'd be able to tell us anything about the weeks that she'd been missing? The uncertainties of what we were dealing with nibbled at the cheap façade of calm I'd been trying to maintain.

Carlisle pulled up in front FBI headquarters, and we climbed out, looking back as Emmett parked behind us. He, Jasper, Ben, and Angela followed us inside, where we were greeted by a man in a black suit, greasy hair, and fake, pitiful smile. I was immediately uneasy with his presence, and found myself clenching my hand into a tight fist. Perhaps Edward could sense my apprehension because he placed his hand on the small of my back, almost like he was trying reconfirm that he was right there with me.

"Special Agent Cullen, thank you for coming so quickly," the man cooed, holding his hand out to Carlisle.

"I'm sorry, have we met?" Carlisle asked, ignoring his hand.

"No, I've just heard so many great things about you and your team," the man stated, gesturing to the rest of us. His eyes lingered on me for a moment too long. "I'm Jenks — Jason Jenks. Special Agent Jenks."

"Where is Vanessa Hale?" Carlisle demanded, clearly too irate to be polite.

Jason's face fell for a split second before he smiled. "She's with Agents Black and Clearwater." He turned and led us to the elevator. "She is still refusing to speak to anyone."

"Any signs of abuse?" I asked, seeing Kate flinch from the corner of my eyes.

"Honestly, I can't tell. She's . . . well, she's scared and won't let anyone near her," he explained with a sigh.

Nodding, I shared with Edward. Mostly likely we'd find signs of abuse. When the doors to the elevator opened, we stepped out, finding ourselves on the outskirts of what appeared to be a warzone. I could hear someone screaming — a girl, based on the ear-shattering pitch. A large crowd had formed around whoever was screaming, but somehow I knew it was Vanessa.

Before I even thought about what I was doing, I pulled away from the rest of the team and pushed my way through the crowd. Sure enough, Vanessa Hale was screaming, crutched down on the floor with pair of scissors in her hands. Jacob and Seth were kneeling a few feet away from her, trying their best to calm her down, but neither of them were making the small, blond girl relax.

"Vanessa," I said, causing Jacob and Seth to look back at me and sigh in relief. I dropped down to my knees and crawled over until I was a few feet away.

Vanessa stared at me, her deep blue eyes shining with tears.

I brought my hands up in front of me. "It's okay. We won't hurt you."

She still stared at me, her fingers wrapped tightly around the scissors. Her blond hair was filthy, like it hadn't been washed in weeks. It probably hadn't. Her clothes, which consisted of a pair of ratty sweatpants and a holey T-shirt, hung loosely. They either belonged to someone else, or she'd lost so much weight that the clothes were now too big. Based on her tiny wrists, exposed collarbone, and sunken eyes, my guess was that she'd been only the bare minimum, just enough to keep her alive. Vanessa's eyes shifted around to the people standing behind me, and I saw her fingers tightened around the scissors.

"Everyone, leave," I said. Soft murmurs came from around me, but I didn't care. Again, I opened my mouth and told them, "Out. Get out!"

"Come on. Let's give her a chance to talk Vanessa down," Jacob said, standing up and gesturing to everyone to follow him. I don't know where they went, I didn't really care. The last thing Vanessa Hale needed right them was everyone staring at her.

Once I was sure everyone was gone, I shifted so that I was sitting in front of her with my knees bent in front of me. "Can I get you some water?"

Vanessa shook her head.

"Something to eat? Maybe a candy bar? I know I could use some chocolate," I said. Again, she shook her head. "You can put the scissors down. I won't hurt you."

She stared at me.

I brought my hand up to my chest. "It's scary here, isn't it? So much noise and people are in your face all the time." Vanessa continued to stare. "Let me guess? They keep asking you questions? Trying to get them to tell you something?"

Vanessa shifted her eyes away from me, but nodded.

"I won't do that."

She snapped her eyes over to me.

"I won't. Not until you're ready. All I need is for you to put the scissors down because, sweetheart, we are not going to let anyone hurt you again."

Time felt like it slowed down as Vanessa stared at me. Slowly, she lowered her hand, letting the scissors fall from between her fingers. I moved over and grabbed them, sliding them away from her.

"Where am I?" she whispered. I shifted my eyes up to hers. "Why do they keep calling me Vanessa?"

**Thank you for all the reviews. I do appreciate all of you who have stuck around between widely spaced updates. I wish I had more time to write for you, but sadly, I don't. I will be working hard to get this story completed before I work on any of my other WIPS.**


	38. Chapter 37

Vanessa Hale stared at me, questions lingering in her eyes. She had no idea who or where she was?

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Your name is Vanessa Hale, and you're at FBI Headquarters in New York City. You were picked up last night by the police." She continued to stare at me, so I asked, "What's the last thing you remember?"

Shifting her eyes away from mine, she brought her hand up to the back of her head. "Darkness," she whispered. "It was cold, and I could hear people."

"Were they talking?" I asked.

Vanessa shook her head. "I don't know. Mostly — mostly it was . . . screaming."

"Do you remember anything from before you were in the darkness?" I asked.

Vanessa closed her eyes, allowing a tear to travel down her face. "I don't know. I have these dreams. They feel so real, but . . . I don't know."

"Tell me about the dreams," I encouraged shifting so that I was facing her.

"It's just bits and pieces: laughter, squealing, someone calling me their little princess." Vanessa paused. "Was it real?"

"I don't know, sweetheart," I said, solemnly. "Maybe. I know this is really hard to talk about, but when you were in the darkness, did — did anyone . . . touch you?"

Vanessa's eyes widened and she began to tremble. "I — I . . . NO!" she screamed, bringing her hands up to her hair and grabbing a fistful.

Her reaction told me everything I needed to know. Not only had she been taken from her life, but she had no memory of who she was and her capture had hurt her. Reaching over, I grabbed her hands, tugged her fingers out of her hair, and nestled her in my embrace, whispering that it was okay, that I wouldn't hurt her. Vanessa began to sob as she let me hold her; let me soothe away the pain that would stay with her for the rest of her life.

"Bella." At the sound of Carlisle's voice, I looked over and saw him and Edward standing in the doorway of one of the offices. "Everything all right now?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Get Kate."

"Are you sure?" Edward asked.

I wasn't, but Vanessa needed someone to hold her and Kate was her sister. "Yes."

Edward nodded and shifted so that he was facing the room behind him. "Kate."

A moment later, she walked past him, standing in front of Carlisle. Her eyes were wide and scared, but she was staring down at Vanessa. I motioned for her to come over to us. For a moment, I thought she'd refuse, but them she took a deep breath and took the tentative steps toward us. Vanessa tilted her head up, watching Kate approach us.

"Vanessa," I murmured as Kate dropped to her knees a foot or so away from us. "This is Kate. She's one of my very best friends." I shifted my eyes up to Kate's. "One of the few people in this world that I trust one-hundred percent." Kate smiled weakly. "I know you're overwhelmed with everything, sweetheart, but I need you to let Kate take care of you"

"How can I trust her?" Vanessa whispered, keeping her eyes locked on her older sister.

Before I could reply, Kate reached over and covered one of Vanessa's hands. "Because I won't let anyone hurt you," she told her with so much conviction, I felt my heart clench in my chest. "I take care of my family."

"Your family?" Vanessa asked, her face contorting in pain. "My Mom! And Dad! Where are they?"

"Sweetheart, calm down," I ordered, causing Vanessa to look at me. "You remember your mom and dad?"

She nodded, a soft sob spilling from between her lips. "Royce and Rebecca. Those men — the ones that took me — told me that they were dead! Oh, Momma, Daddy!"

Vanessa threw herself in Kate's arms, startling the other woman. She quickly recovered and held her younger sister in a tight embrace. With her eyes closing, Kate cried for the parents she never knew she had, for the brother who had gone out of his way to destroy everyone connected to him, and for the sister who needed her now.

Sliding off the floor, I left the two of them sitting there, knowing they needed a few minutes to bond. Vanessa had been through hell, and now, she'd need someone to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay, even if it never would again.

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I quietly walked over to where Carlisle and Edward were standing. Immediately, the two of them had me in their arms, shielding me away from the rest of our team and the agents who worked in the New York office. Tears burned at the corners of my eyes, begging for me to release them but I held them back. Showing my weakness to a bunch of people I didn't know wouldn't help me gain anyone's respect, and allowing my grip on my sanity to falter would only reinforce what the rest of my team already thought about me: I wasn't strong enough.

After a couple of deep breaths, I tugged myself away from the two most important men in my life and gave them a look that told them I was okay, but to stay close. They knew me better than I did myself, and as they each placed a hand on my shoulder, they reiterated with a single gesture what they'd been telling me from the moment I met either of them: I was worth it to them.

"Where was she found?" I asked, walking into the room and looking right at Jacob Black.

Tall, dark black hair, and deep russet skin, he'd once been a man I shared my bed with, who for a time helped me forget the terror I'd struggled with after James Sanders attacked me the first time. But he'd betrayed me, sleeping with my friend and his partner's little sister Leah. I couldn't hate him, though. I never could. He and Leah were in love and I'd just been in the way.

"Officers responded to a call from an elderly couple who found her behind a dumpster in the alley behind their apartment building in the Bronx," Jacob said, running a hand through his hair. "In their statements, they said it wasn't unusual for them to find homeless people back there, but when they saw Vanessa, something felt off so they called the police after talking her into sitting on the front stoop with them."

"What felt off?" Emmett said.

"They said it was her eyes; they looked innocent," Seth said, stepping up next to Jacob.

They'd been partners since they left the academy, having forged a strong friendship over the years. The only real struggle they'd ever had was Jacob and Leah's affair, and the way my relationship with them suffered. Seth and I had always gotten along, and he was one of the few officers that never treated me like whore who slept her way to the top. Of course, that might have more to do with the fact that Seth's wife Tanya was also a cop, and he knew better than to say shit like that with her.

I nodded, and looked over at Carlisle. "We should get someone over there to talk to them, see if there is anything else we can get from them. Maybe they heard something or saw someone. These people know how to blend in; they could have hidden in the crowd and nobody would have known differently."

Carlisle stared at me for a split second before agreeing with a tip of his head. "Cheney, Weber, go."

Ben and Angela shifted their eyes over to me before grabbing the couple's address from Seth and moving toward the door. However, they'd barely taken more than two steps when Agent Jenks called out, "Whoa, hold up a sec." Everyone shifted their attention to him. "We're running this investigation, Carlisle. I decide who goes where."

With the exception of Jacob and Seth, everyone from the New York office smirked and turned back to us. Jacob and Seth knew better than to fuck around with our case, a lesson they'd learned when a lead on the James Sanders' case brought us back to the city. I shivered; the memories of that man always had me struggling to breathe.

"Agent Jenks," Carlisle said, speaking in a calm tone that sent another shiver down my spine, "let me make myself perfectly clear here. This case is mine. It's personal, and I won't let you or anyone take it from me." Clenching his hand into a fist, he peeled one finger up, pointing it toward where Kate and Vanessa were sitting, still crying together. "That girl is my responsibility. Everything about this case is my responsibility, and if you don't like it, I suggest you contact your superior because I won't allow you to shit on my case!"

I reached out and placed a hand on Carlisle's shoulder, drawing him back before he leapt over the table separating him and Jenks and beat the shit out that man. Jenks' eyes were wide and it was clear that he wasn't used to anyone speaking to him in such a manner, but he'd deal.

"And it's Special Agent Cullen, not Carlisle," he added. "Now, Cheney, Weber, get your asses to the Bronx and talk to our couple."

Ben and Angela bit back smiles as they walked past him, me, and Edward. I looked over my shoulder as they walked past Kate and Vanessa to the elevator. Shifting his eyes to mine, Ben nodded his head before they stepped inside and went off on their mission.

"Be safe," I whispered to myself. Turning to face everyone else, I found that Carlisle and Jenks were in a heated stare-down and while it was amusing for this smarmy, greasy-haired man to even think he could take on Carlisle, I cleared my throat, drawing everyone's attention to me. "Now that we've had a pissing contest, why don't you tell us what else you've found."

"Unfortunately, we don't have much," Jacob stated, ignoring the huff that came from Jenks when Jacob walked around the table and held out a file in my direction. I opened it and found myself staring at a few dozen photographs that were clearly taken from traffic cameras. "We canvased the area, but apparently nobody noticed when Vanessa arrived in the neighborhood."

"We pulled stills from the traffic cams in every direction for three blocks, but the damnedest thing happened," Seth said.

"What was that?" Jasper asked.

"At exactly five after one in the morning, every camera suffered a spontaneous malfunction," he explained, looking right at me.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered, moving over to the table and spreading all the photographs out. Sure enough there was a fifteen minute gap starting at five after one in the morning and lasting until one-twenty. "It was Embry Call."

"How can you be so sure?" Edward asked.

I looked over at him. "Because I know him; I memorized his fucking file! He's a goddamn genius, and an expert hacker. Hacking into the city's mainframe and targeting those specific cameras would be child's play to that asshole. But why? Why would they let Vanessa go? Weren't they worried about her leading us to him?"

My questions fell on deaf ears. I turned back to the photos and studied each one of them. There wasn't much to be seen. A few cars cruising around, a couple of prostitutes on the treat corner, and for a reason that I couldn't understand the words we'd found inside the Hale's house came to mind. "More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, and the. More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, and the. More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, and the."

"What the fuck is she mumbling about?" I snapped my head up at Jenks, who suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I mean . . ."

"Out," I snarled, gesturing to the door. "Everyone get the fuck out!"

Opening and closing his mouth a dozen times first, Jenks sighed and pushed his way past Jacob and Seth and stormed out of the conference room with the rest of his team following him — everyone by Jacob and Seth.

"Been a while since I've seen you scare someone with a simple glare, Swan," Seth said, smirking as he pulled out one of the chairs and sat down.

"Been awhile for all of us," Emmett muttered, but when I looked over at him, he simply raised an eyebrow, almost daring me to argue with him. How could I? He was right.

"Can we focus, please?" Edward said, clearly telling Emmett that this wasn't the time or place to challenge me to get my head out of my ass. With a wave of his hand, Emmett conceded, though I knew this wouldn't be the last time. Emmett loved me too much to give up on me. "Bella, did you figure out what the words meant?"

"No," I murmured, turning back to the photos. "But clearly they were meant to bring us to New York, seeing as this is where they brought Vanessa after they took her."

"Did she have anything to tell you?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head. "She repressing a lot, and I won't push her. It — it was bad, that much was clear."

Jasper gave a simple nod, and left it there.

"More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, and the." I picked up one of the pictures and pulled it up closer to my eyes. "Anyone have a magnifying glass?"

"Um, I think so." Jacob walked out of the room, coming back a few moments later with a small black magnifying glass.

When he placed it in my hand, his fingers wrapped around mine, causing me to look up at him. He gave me a simple nod, and while it wasn't a grand gesture, it was enough for me to understand. Jacob was telling me that he still had faith in my ability to do my job. I returned the nod and turned my attention back to the photograph.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered.

"What?" Carlisle asked, moving to my left and peering down at the photo.

"Look at the bumper sticker on the back of the white pick-up," I told him.

Carlisle's eyes flew open and he looked up at me. "Liberty Drywall."

Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I did a quick search for Liberty Drywall. A moment later, my search was flooded with articles. I clicked on the top one and scanned it quickly. "Listen to this: Liberty Drywall was sited once again for violations of labor laws, causing them to close their doors and declare bankruptcy. More than three hundred and fifty people lost their jobs, flooding the unemployment lines with desperate pleas for assistance. More than half of these were immigrant workers whose work visa expired more than a year before and they were deported back to their home countries."

I paused and looked over at Carlisle. "This article was dated back in the early fifties. From what I remember of my research on Vladimir Volturi, his father worked manual labor. Vladimir would have been twelve or thirteen when the drywall company closed. What if his father worked there and when the company closed, he was deported?"

"It's possible, I suppose," Carlisle said, looking over at Seth.

"I'll grab my laptop," he said without missing a beat and walked back out of the room.

"If his father had been deported, wouldn't Vladimir have been, too?" Emmett asked.

"Normally," I said, "but Vladimir was a genius and from the research I've done on him, he'd been given offers from more than two dozen schools, including MIT where Embry Call graduated."

"If it really is Embry Call," Emmett amended. "I'm still not convinced that his records are legit."

Seth came back in with a scowl on his face and his laptop in his hands. Sitting down at the table, he fired it up, putting in his password. I shook my head; he used a combination of his wife and daughter's names. I'd have to talk to him about thinking outside of the box later.

"Dude, Jenks is pressing on my last nerve," Seth said, looking over at Jacob. "He called me a traitor to the team because I would dare help the people who second-guessed him."

"Motherfucker," Jacob swore. "I hate that bastard."

"He's a real asshole?" I asked and Jacob nodded. "Want me to kick his ass for you?"

Jacob smiled. "Nah, Bella, I wouldn't want you to make him shit his pants."

"Can we please focus?" Edward snarked, throwing a glare at Jacob. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Edward had never been able to get over the fact that I used to sleep with Jacob, or that he'd broken a part of me when he betrayed me.

"Um," Carlisle said, causing us to look over at him. "That's interesting."

"What is?" I asked, moving over and looking over his shoulder. "Huh, what do you know? Vladimir Volturi doesn't have an immigration record."

"How is that possible?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know," I muttered, shoving Carlisle out of the seat.

"A simple please move would have worked," he groused, but I ignored him.

On the bottom of the screen, I noticed a small Celtic cross flickering at the bottom of the screen. It was so small, only someone who knew what it was would be looking for it. Closing my eyes, I felt my eyes fill up with tears. "Bless you, Lili, for giving us another breadcrumb."

"What'd she leave us?" Carlisle asked, kneeling down next to me. I opened my eyes and pointed to the lower left corner of the screen. "Lili."

"Yeah," I murmured, bringing my hand up to his cheek and leaning my head against his. "Maybe one day we can forgive her."

"Maybe," he echoed, though he didn't sound any more convinced than me. Clicking on the cross, my screen transformed into a series of ten number codes. "I don't suppose you have your encryption program with you, do you?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "Not something I generally carry around with me, but I don't think we'll need it."

"Why not?" Edward asked, causing me to look over at him.

"Because before the Biers made it big in oil and diamonds, they ran a chain of successful construction companies across the country. Think Empire State Building and such." I looked each of my team in the eye, waiting for them to put two and two together, but they simple stared at me. Sighing, I opened a new search window on Seth's laptop and brought up the information I'd found on Liberty Drywall. Turning the laptop toward them, I said, "Look at who owned Liberty Drywall when it went under."

Edward moved over and bent over in front of the laptop. His eyes shifted up to mine. "Malachi Biers."

"Alistair Bier's grandfather, which means it most likely was passed down to Alistair's father, and then to him," I explained, standing up. "They're using the old warehouse as their base of operations."

"How can you be so sure?" Emmett asked.

"I can't," I told him. "But my gut tells me that I'm right. What do I always say about when your gut tells you something?"

"To listen," he muttered, shaking his head. "But we need more than just a gut feeling if we're going to get a warrant."

"I know," I sighed, sliding back into the seat. Bringing my nail up to my mouth, I closed my eyes and thought over everything we'd learned since arriving in New York. First, Vanessa Hale had been hurt by whoever was keeping her after I'd killed Phil Dwyer. My guess was Embry Call, but I couldn't know for sure until we caught the bastard. Second, Vanessa Hale hadn't been let go out of the kindness of anyone's heart. No, she'd been released for a reason; I just didn't know what that reason was. Third, if we didn't act quickly, Embry would slip away and we'd never get another chance to catch him.

Standing up, I walked out of the conference room and watched Kate and Vanessa. They still hadn't gotten up off the floor, though neither of them was crying anymore. Kate had her head pressed against Vanessa's head and she was running her fingers up and down Vanessa's arms.

"What do you see?" Edward whispered, stepping up behind me.

"I don't know," I murmured. "There's something . . ." I shook my head and took a deep breath. "Why'd they release her in the Bronx? Liberty Drywall is in Queens."

"To throw us off," he suggested.

"No, they've been three steps ahead of us since the start. Why take her, torture her, only to release her?" I brought my hand up to my chest, rubbing against the long, scars embedded in my skin. "More, time, beginning, future, liberty, the, holds, will, bring, the."

Vanessa snapped her head up and looked at me, her eyes wide and full of fear. Without a word, she pulled herself out of Kate's arms and scrambled to her feet. Bated breath was held as she shuffled across the room until she was standing directly in front of me. Vanessa grabbed my wrist one hand while digging into the pocket of her sweats with the other. Pulling out a picture, she slapped it into my hand and whispered, "Time will bring the beginning, more the future liberty holds."

I didn't understand what Vanessa was trying to tell me. Prying my wrist out of her thin, boney hand, I lifted the photograph up and released a deep breath. Embry Call was standing in front of Phil Dwyer, who had his arms around the man standing in front of him. Behind him was a large size with big, bold letters spelling out: _**LIBERTY DRYWALL**_.

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	39. Chapter 38

"Well, this confirms that Liberty Drywall is their base of operations," Emmett muttered, tossing the photograph back onto the table.

After Vanessa had given me the picture, Kate had led her down to one of the empty offices, stating that the last thing her sister needed was to be gawked by strangers. When Kate mentioned Vanessa being her sister, the younger girl simply stared at her, almost as if she'd always known. Perhaps she had. One day, we'd find out, but for now, I needed to figure out what the hell was going on.

"No shit," Edward groused, leaning up and placing his elbows on the table. He was going through Embry Call's file once again, hoping that something would magically jump out at him and give him the answer.

"Then why are we just sitting here!" Emmett whined. "We should be down there, busting that place wide open!"

"We're sitting here," I began, not bothering to take my eyes off the laptop in front of me as I weeded through every piece of information I could find about Vladimir Volturi, "because we're not going to go in there until we know exactly what we're dealing with."

Emmett scoffed. "That's a first for you."

My fingers froze over the keys, and I shifted my eyes up over to him. Emmett was watching me with a smirk on his face, while Jasper sat next to him with expectation. Jacob and Seth were staring at me, while Carlisle was glaring at Emmett. Not that it mattered. It never did with him. I had lost any respect that Emmett might have had for me a long time ago. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the laptop.

"Goddamn it, Swan," Emmett swore, standing up and slamming his hand on the table. "What is it going to take to get a reaction out of you?"

Letting my eyes flutter to a close, I exhaled and leaned back in my seat. "Tell me what you want from me, Emmett. Do you want me to cry, tell you how every time you make a catty comment toward me, I feel a little more of my soul being destroyed? Or do you want me to scream at you, tell you go to hell? Maybe, you want me to leap over the table and kick your ass for being fucking bastard."

"Any of those would be better than you just sitting there taking it," he complained. Opening my eyes, I stared at him. "I want the bitch back. I want the woman who came up to me and Jasper and told us not to fuck with her sisters or she'd fuck us up. That's who I want back."

"She can't come back," I snarled, standing up and placing my hands on the table. "Don't you get it? She's dead. She died the moment they touched her, the moment they ripped her skin open with whips."

Emmett flinched back in his chair.

I took a calming breath, and stood up. "I'd give anything to be her again, Emmett, because then I wouldn't be so scared to be inside this room with all of you that I'm shaking, that I've had to stop myself from digging my nails into the palms of my hands just so that I know that I'm alive. I'd give anything to be that person again."

Turning, I walked out of the conference room and made my way down to the break room in search of a decent cup of coffee. Of course the pot was empty. Sighing, I cleaned it out and started a fresh brew. Leaning against the counter, I closed my eyes and brought my hand up to my chest, letting my fingers rest on one of the scars across my chest.

"Did you find a clean cup?" I opened my eyes and looked over at Seth, who was leaning against the doorway to the break room.

"Foam cup," I muttered, tilting my head toward the stack of them.

Nodding, Seth walked over to me and reached into the cabinet next to me, pulling out a tall, red cup with NYPD on it. "You can use mine. I know how you are about your coffee."

I smiled, taking the cup from him. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he laughed, pulling a smaller cup out for himself. Picking up two packages of artificial sweeteners, he tore them open and dumped them into his cup. "About a year ago, Tanya and I were walking through Central Park with Cora," he started. "It was getting late, and she was tired so she was crying a lot. We were almost the Alice in Wonderland Sculpture when two men jumped out of some bushes and waved a knife in our faces. Of course, Tanya pulled Cora's stroller behind her, and I stepped in front of both of them. They demanded our money, and jewelry." He sighed and shook his head. "I should have just given it to them."

"You fought back?" I asked. Seth nodded. "Dude, you know better than that! They were probably high."

"I know, I know," he muttered, shifting so that he was facing me. "All I could think about was my wife and my daughter, and how I could not let anything happen to them. So, I pulled off my watch, you know the one my father gave me when T and I got married, but before the asshole closest to me could grab it, I tackled him to the ground. The other guy got scared and took off running, but the guy I'd tackled started cursing at me, calling me words that would make you blush."

I rolled my eyes, knowing how Seth loved to tease me over my potty mouth.

"The guy managed to get me on my back, and he raised his arm. For a second, all I could see was the knife in his hand as it came down toward my chest. I grabbed his arm and tried to stop him, but the tip — just the tip — sliced through my skin here." Seth gestured to his chest, just over to the left of his heart. "Somehow I managed to roll us and get the upper hand. I held him down until the police showed up. I was lucky. The cut was superficial, and only needed a few stitches, but every day when I take a shower, I see that scar and think about how close I came to leaving Tanya and Cora alone."

"I bet T was pissed at you," I murmured.

Seth nodded. "She didn't talk to me for two weeks. Cora had nightmares, she started wetting the bed. Tanya blamed me for being stupid, for putting myself at risk."

"She's right," I said, filling both our cups with fresh coffee. "You know better than to challenge a junkie like that, Seth."

"I do." Seth sighed. "But I've worked the job long enough to know what a strung out junkie will do when he's desperate, Bella, and I couldn't allow that to happen to Tanya or Cora. Would you have?"

I pressed my lips together, saying nothing.

"That's what I thought," he scoffed.

"What's your point, Clearwater?" I grumbled. "Hmm?"

"Pulling out the last name, huh, Swan?" Seth smirked and put his cup on the counter before moving so that he was standing right in front of me. "Fine, I'll give it to you straight. I've known you for years, Bella. Since you started the job, and never once have I seen you give up like this. You're a badass. None of us wanted you here when you came out of the academy, and not just because you're a women, but because you're a goddamn rockstar! Now, instead of telling Emmett to shove his opinions up his ass, you leave the room? Really, Swan?"

"You don't understand," I gritted.

"Oh, I understand," he said, placing his hand under my chin and tilting my head up so that he can look in my eyes. "If you want to be that Bella again, then get your ass back in that room and pretend to be her. One day, you won't have to pretend."

Seth reached around me and picked up his cup. Giving me a look, he turned and walked out of the break room. I sighed and looked down at my coffee. Damn Seth and his logic. Topping my coffee off, I headed back down to the conference room, noticing that Jason Jenks was standing in the doorway of his office as I walked by. I don't know why, but something about him made my skin crawl.

When I walked back into the conference room, I noticed that Emmett wasn't there. I didn't ask where he'd gone, choosing not to open that can of worms. Instead, I settled back in front of Seth's laptop and resumed my search. I couldn't shake the feeling that we were missing something obvious.

After another hour I was ready to give up, when a thought struck me. We knew that Embry Call had released Vanessa Hale in the Bronx, while Liberty Drywall was located in Queens. Pulling up the records of all employees from Liberty Drywall before it went bankrupt and costing over three hundred and fifty people their jobs, I ran a search to cross match any addresses that would match those listed as being in the Bronx today. A few minutes later the search halted and a name came up on my screen.

"Son of a bitch," I muttered, drawing everyone's attention to me as I stood up. Turning the laptop around, I said, "Embry Calls' grandfather lived in the same building that Vanessa Hale was found hiding behind. Not only that, but guess who managed the building?"

"Malachi Biers?" Jasper guessed.

I shook my head. "No, Gavriil Volturi, Vladimir's fathers. But if you look closer, the building was constructed by Malachi Biers."

That tidbit of information was enough to set us off. While we headed toward the elevator, Carlisle called Ben, directing him and Angela to meet us at Liberty Drywall before calling one of the federal judges we'd worked with in the past and asked for a warrant, knowing that we'd get one with the evidence we had.

Jacob and Seth stepped into the elevator with us, and while I could tell neither Carlisle nor Edward were thrilled with Jacob's help, they didn't say anything. We'd need all the help we could get. Emmett was waiting for us next to the elevator when we stepped off. Our eyes met and for a moment it looked like he was going to say something, but then he shook his head and led the way out of the building. With the warrant the judge had faxed over, we climbed into our cars, and I closed my eyes, trying to steel my nerves and hoping that all of us would be okay.

—BR—

Due to late afternoon traffic, it took us nearly half an hour to get across New York. We met Ben and Angela two blocks away. Carlisle gestured for Emmett, Jasper, Ben, Angela, and Garrett to go around to the back of the building, while he led me, Edward, Jacob, and Seth around to the front. With the sheer size of the building, we'd have a hard time keeping ourselves hidden, but we'd try. Pausing outside of the doors, I looked around, expecting to see cameras hidden everywhere, but found nothing.

Liberty Drywall was your classic abandoned New York Warehouse. Large busted out windows, rusted siding, and dirt and filth everywhere made it clear that not many people graced the doorsteps of the old building, making it the perfect cover for Dwyer and Call to have used for their experiments. Shaking my head, I thought about how many children had been dragged into that hell, only to be lost and forgotten. Too many.

Carlisle gave us the signal to go inside, motioning once again for us to be careful and quiet. His eyes lingered on me for a moment, and I understood. He was worried about me being one of those lost and forgotten. I was, too, but I needed to do this for Vanessa Hale, for Lili, for Garrett and Kate, and for every other child who'd gotten hurt.

Once we walked inside, we started off down a long, narrow corridor. When we reached the end, we found ourselves facing a decision: do we go left or right? Carlisle gestured for me and Edward to take the right, while he, Jacob, and Seth went to the left. I didn't like the idea of separating, but knew we didn't have a choice. Pleading with my eyes for him to be careful, Edward and I veered off to the right.

About a hundred yards down the hallway, we turned to the left, finding ourselves facing a large ramp. Edward and I shared a look before we headed up. We'd just stepped off the ramp when we heard a noise coming from the hallway toward our left. Edward and I took off toward the sound. Around one corner and then around another, we stopped when we came upon a set of double doors. I hugged my gun to my chest before I reached out and pushed the doors open, moving so that I was standing in the doorway with my gun pointed at Embry Call, who was holding a young boy in front of him.

"Agent Swan," Embry said, cheerfully. The boy in his arms whimpered when Embry pressed the long silver knife against his neck. "I was starting to think you were never going to come see me."

"Let the boy go, Call," I growled.

Embry laughed. "Why would I do that? He's due for a treatment."

The boy whimpered again.

"This is the last time I'm gonna warn you. Let the boy go," I said, tightening my grip on my gun.

Embry smirked as he looked from me to Edward, who was leaning against the doorway with his weapon up in front of him. "Fine."

Embry dragged the knife across the boy's neck, before pushing him toward us. I caught the boy before he hit the ground, red crimson blood seeping from the wound on his neck. Embry ran through a backdoor to the room.

I looked at Edward. "Put pressure on his neck and call for backup."

"Bella, wait!" Edward yelled as I leapt to my feet and ran after Embry. But I couldn't, not after everything.

I could hear Edward yelling at me, but I kept going, listening to the sound of Embry's footsteps and his cackling laughter as he led me to wherever our standoff would take place. Up a set a stairs, down a hallway, down a set of stairs, along another corridor, until finally, we were deep inside the warehouse. Embry call was standing in the middle of the room, the knife still clutched in one hand while a gun was nestled in the other. Raising my gun, I pointed it at him as I stepped into the room, searching for any sign that anyone else was in here with us.

"Tell me, Agent Swan," Embry said, turning to look at me, "how'd it feel to kill Phil?"

"Good," I replied with honesty. "Just like it will feel when I kill you."

Embry smiled. "If you were going to kill me, I'd be dead. You had your gun pointed at my back, yet you couldn't pull the trigger. Why is that?"

I didn't reply.

"Oh, okay, I'll tell you why," he continued. "You're weak, Agent Swan. See, I've done my research on you. Part of my job in The Program." He winked at me. "You're brilliant, smarter than anyone I've ever met, but you're weak. Do you know how you're weak, Agent Swan?"

I still didn't reply.

"You let your emotions control you," he said. "Maybe it's because you're a woman, but I don't think that's it. Your family fucked you over, your lover left you for a better job, a better life, then dragged you to his team, only to throw it in your face that he'd moved on."

My finger tightened around the trigger. God, how I wanted to pull it, watch as the bullet sliced into his skin.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" Embry laughed. "Are you gonna cry now that the real you has been exposed?"

"Fuck you," I spat. "You don't know shit about me, or anyone in my life."

"Don't I?" he challenged. "You're nothing, Agent Swan — nothing but weak bitch, who will never be able to stop me!"

Embry raised his gun at me, but before I could pull the trigger, I heard a loud gunshot and looked over my shoulder, finding Edward standing there with his gun pointing at Embry Call. I looked back and watched as Embry Call dropped to the floor, his grey T-shirt soaking up the blood from the bullet hole in his chest. Embry shifted his eyes up to me before he slumped forward, and died.

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	40. Chapter 39

My knees crumbled beneath me, and I fell to the floor, screaming. In a heartbeat, Edward was at my side, holding me, soothing me, trying to keep me from falling about.

"I couldn't pull the trigger," I cried. "I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it."

"I know," he whispered. "That's why I did it. You're okay, baby."

"Edward," I sobbed, holding onto him.

"You're okay," he murmured. "You're okay."

Over and over, Edward whispered that I was okay, that he had me, and I knew he did. After a few minutes, I heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming in our direction. I pulled myself out of Edward's arms and attempted to wipe the tears off my face, but before I could, we found Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper. All three of them looked from me, to Edward, to Embry Call's dead body, and back to me.

"McCarty," Carlisle said, keeping his eyes on me, "get a team in here. We need to process the room."

"Yes, sir," Emmett muttered, sparing me a look before he turned and walked out into the hallway, bringing his phone up to his ear.

"Tell me it was self-defense," Carlisle said, looking directly at me.

While Carlisle expected me to be the one to speak, the look of shock on his face when Edward said, "It was," was almost funny. Almost. Nothing about this situation was funny. "He had her beat, and if I hadn't shot him, he would have killed my partner. I had no choice but to take him out."

Carlisle pursed his lips together and looked from Edward to me. Felt like a lifetime passed before he nodded. "Are either of you hurt?"

"No," we murmured together.

Carlisle nodded again. "I need you to tell me everything that happened after we separated."

While Emmett and Jasper led a forensic team throughout the room where Embry Call had been killed, Edward and I recounted the events that led up to Edward killing Embry.

"Once Angela came upon me, I left her to take care of the boy and went after Bella," Edward explained, shifting his eyes over to me. "The wound was shallow, so he should be okay."

I nodded, unable to speak knowing that if I did, I'd lose control of my emotions.

Edward turned back to Carlisle, who listened with rapt attention, never once taking his eyes off of me. I knew what he was doing; he was profiling me, trying to see if I was hiding anything. "I could hear Embry taunting her, egging Bella on by calling her weak. I came to the door just as Embry started to raise the gun in his hand. I shot first."

"Okay," Carlisle said, before looking over at Emmett and Jasper. "McCarty, Whitlock," he called and they looked over at him. "Anything?"

"There's blood on his left hand," Emmett said, "and along the knife. I'm sure when we test it against the boys, we'll find a match. Seems pretty cut and dry to me."

"Good," Carlisle groused, looking over at me and Edward. "Let's get out of here."

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I followed Edward and Carlisle through the warehouse until we were outside, finding ourselves in the mist of chaos. Almost three dozen children were grouped together around a handful of ambulances, more victims of Embry Call and Phil Dwyer, more children who were taken and lost along the way.

"Do we know who any of them are yet?" I asked.

"Not yet," Carlisle muttered, nudging me with his shoulder. "Most of them have no idea what their names are, where they've been, or even how they got here."

"And the others?" I murmured, shifting my eyes to him. "You said most of them."

"The rest refuse to speak," he mumbled. "Like Vanessa."

Nodding, I understood. They were the ones who'd been tortured, abused for whatever reason. "Did we find anything else?"

"A lot of files, including this one," Carlisle stated, handing me a folder. Flipping it open, I sighed. There were a dozen photographs of Royce and Rebecca Hale, both of them with gunshots to the forehead. "I'm having the rest of them sent to Seattle, but I figured Kate and Vanessa . . ."

"Yeah." I shifted my eyes away from the children to where the press was standing, shouting out questions at the officers who were doing their jobs and keeping them back. "Fucking vultures."

"That they are," Edward grumbled under his breath.

—BR—

Five hours later, we pulled up outside FBI headquarters, having left the forensic team to finish their assessment of the building. All of the children we'd found, a total of thirty-three, had been taken to area hospitals and were now in the hands of Child Protective Services. My hope was that some of them would find their way back to their families, but the road for them would be long and hard.

Slowly, the team, plus Jacob and Seth, made our way inside and up to their floor, a feeling of exhaustion creeping over all of us. Our case was over, with the exception of a few loose ends, but we'd stopped Dwyer and Call. When we stepped off the elevator, we found Tanya waiting for us. She threw herself in Seth's waiting arms, holding him tighter than I'd ever seen her. Tanya was strong; she had to be seeing as she still worked for the New York Police Department.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I began to walk past them, but stopped when I felt a hand reach out and grab my arm. When I looked over, I saw her watching me, tears filling her eyes. There was nothing for me to say, so I brought my hand up and squeezed hers, trying to tell her that I understood.

"Where's Kate and Vanessa?" Garrett asked, directing his question to Jason Jenks.

"Third office on the left," he replied, gruffly. "She refused to let us talk to Vanessa."

"Good," I snarled. "You don't get to talk to her."

"She was brought in by my team, meaning she belongs to us," Jenks argued.

"She's doesn't belong to you or anyone," I snarled. "She's not a fucking piece of property. You will leave her alone, or so help me . . ."

"Or what?" Jenks smirked, stalking up to me until he was a mere inch from my face. I could smell the stench of alcohol on his breath. "You can't do anything to me, Swan. You're nothing but deadweight."

Balling my hand into a fist, I was just about to hit him when a left jab came from my left, causing Jenks to fall to the ground. When I looked over, I saw Emmett standing there, glaring at the asshole.

"Don't get Agent Swan's face, and don't talk to her like that," Emmett seethed, lunging for him again, but I moved so that I was standing in front of him. He shifted his eyes down to me. "Go to them. I got this."

Nodding, I skirted away from Jason Jenks, knowing that for now at least Emmett had my back. I stopped outside the office where Kate and Vanessa were and took a deep breath. Opening the door, I found them sitting on a small sofa. Vanessa had her head resting in Kate's lap, and her sister was running her fingers through her hair. They looked up at me, and I struggled to step into the room.

"Hey," I murmured, the simple word coming out shaky.

Closing the door behind me, I grabbed one of the empty, brown leather chairs and moved it so that I could sit in front of them. I wasn't sure how to begin, knowing that no matter how I told Vanessa that her parents were dead, she'd be devastated. Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I tried to organize my thoughts.

"You and the team went to stop them, right?" Kate prompted.

I nodded. "And we did. Embry Call won't be able to hurt anyone again."

Kate nodded, while Vanessa just stared at me.

"There's no easy way to say this," I began, shifting my attention between the two women. "During our search of the warehouse, we found a file on your parents, Vanessa."

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up. "What'd it say?"

Tears filled my eyes as I opened the file resting on my lap and pulled out the first photo. While normally I wouldn't show anyone a photo like this, I knew Vanessa Hale had been through hell and needed solid proof that her parents were dead. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," I whispered, handing her the photo.

Vanessa took it, her eyes overflowed with tears, and her chin began to wobble as she cried. "I knew. They never would have left me there."

"Doesn't make it easier, though," I whispered, shifting my eyes to Kate, who was staring at the photograph of her birth parents. "Kate."

She looked up at me. "I look just like her."

I nodded. "She was beautiful."

"You think they gave me away to protect me?" Kate asked.

"I think so," I murmured.

Vanessa shifted her eyes up to Kate. "They talked about you."

Kate gasped. "They did?"

Vanessa barely nodded. "Sometimes my — our — mom would get this sad look in her eyes, and when I asked what was wrong, she'd say, 'Just thinking about my angel.' I always assumed that she'd had a miscarriage or something, but . . ."

"Angel," Kate mused. "Makes it sound like I had died."

"Yeah," I agreed. "We'll never know why they gave you up for adoption, Kate. I have to believe that they did so to protect you, to keep you safe."

"I know," Kate cried, nodding her head. "And I had good parents, the best."

I reached out and grabbed her hand, unable to say anything else. Like Vanessa, Kate needed time to grieve for the parents she never knew, the ones who I believed had sacrificed their role in her life in order to keep her safe from Vladimir Volturi. Unfortunately, the past had a way of coming back to haunt us, as I knew too well.

The door to the office opened and I felt my shoulders tense as I looked back, relaxing when I saw Garrett standing there. Motioning for him to come in, I slipped out of my chair and left him to console Kate and Vanessa, knowing that right now Kate needed her husband, and Garrett would need to bond with his new sister-in-law. They all had a lot of healing to do, and together, they'd make it.

Closing the door behind me, I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. Most of the floor was empty, due to it being well after midnight. Dragging my hand through my hair, I walked down to the break room in search of a cup of coffee. I wanted to go home, but until Carlisle could get through the red tape that would allow us to take Vanessa with us, we were stuck here.

When I walked into the break room, I found Emmett sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him and his chin resting on the palm of his hand. He shifted his eyes over to me, leaning back.

"Is the coffee fresh?" I asked.

"No," he scoffed. "Tastes like shit, but I know better than to attempt to make a new pot."

Nodding, I walked over and grabbed the glass pot, dumping out the old, thick liquid and refilling it with water. Within a few minutes, I had a new pot brewing and I grabbed the red cup Seth had let me use earlier and placed it on the counter.

"I don't want you to cry," Emmett said, causing me to freeze as I reached for a package of sweetener.

Releasing a breath, I grabbed the pink package and tore it open. "Then what do you want?"

"I want you to be okay," he muttered. After dumping the power into my cup, I turned and looked at him, noticing the tears filling his eyes. "Every night I go home to Rose, and she begs me for information on you, begs me to tell her what's going on inside your head, but I can't tell her because I don't know. She cries, causing the boys the cry, and I feel like the biggest failure as a husband and father because I can't keep my family from crying every night."

I shifted my eyes to the floor, guilt filling me for causing Emmett and Rose problems. "I don't want Rosie to cy, Em. I don't, but it's hard to be around her and Alice when I feel like . . ."

"Like what?" he asked. I heard the sounds of his chair being pushed backward and I looked over at him, finding him standing up. "Like what, Bella?"

"Like I'm dead inside," I whimpered. He made to step toward me, but I put my hand up to stop him. "I'm afraid of everything, Emmett. Afraid to sleep, afraid to be awake, afraid to walk on the beach . . ." I shook my head. "Fuck, I'm afraid to be standing in this room with you right now."

"You're afraid of me?" he asked, stumbling back against the wall. I nodded. "Oh."

I wasn't sure what to say next so I opted to stay quiet.

"I'm sorry," Emmett murmured, and I looked over at him. "I don't want you to be afraid of me, Swan."

"I don't either," I muttered. "I want to kick your ass for every rude and hateful slur you've thrown at me since I came back to the job, but the thought of you fighting me scares me."

Emmett nodded and brought his hand up to the back of his neck. After a moment, he sighed and took two steps toward me. "Hit me."

"W — what?" I stammered.

"Hit me," he repeated. "I've pissed you off, hurt your feelings, so hit me."

"No," I scoffed, turning back toward the coffee pot, but Emmett grabbed my arm and spun me around. Out of instinct, I brought my fist up and connected with his jaw. Emmett groaned and stumbled backward. "Oh, fuck, Emmett, I'm sorry."

"Feel better?" he asked, rubbing his face.

I shook my head.

"Want to hit me again?" He dropped his hand, offering me his face.

I almost smiled. "Kind of," I admitted.

Emmett laughed. "Look, I'm sorry for being an asshole, Bella. My family is important to me, and that includes you. I understood when you needed to step away from the Bureau, but you can't hide anymore, okay? We're not going to give up on you, but we're not going to sit back and baby you, either."

Before I could say anything, a cleared throat drew our attention. I looked over and saw Carlisle leaning against the doorframe to the break room and knew that he'd seen me hit Emmett.

"We've gotten the all clear to head home," he said.

Nodding, I pushed away from the counter and walked over to him. Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder as I passed him. Edward, Ben, Angela, Jasper, Kate, and a terrified looking Vanessa were waiting for us next to the elevator. Jacob and Seth were standing there next to them, while Jason Jenks watched from his office with a scowl on his face, no doubt because he was pissed that he wouldn't be able to take credit for Vanessa's well-being.

"We ready?" I asked.

"Yep," Edward said, smiling at me.

The doors to the elevator opened and everyone but Seth and Jacob started stepping on. I went to follow, but stopped when I heard Seth call out, "Swan."

"What, Clearwater?" I asked, looking at him.

"Sometimes fighting back is the right decision," he said, giving me a look.

Nodding, I smiled. "Yeah, maybe. Take care of that wife and daughter of yours or I'll kick your ass."

"You can try," he snickered, winking at me.

I laughed and looked over at Jacob, who was trying to hide his smile. "Same goes for you. Take care of Leah and Brady, okay? They need you, Jake."

"I promise," he murmured.

Stepping onto the elevator, I stood in front of Edward and Carlisle. We were going home — together.

**Thank you for all the reviews. What did you think about Emmett getting Bella to hit him? Me, I think the jerk deserved it. Four chapters to go!**


	41. Chapter 40

I thought finding Vanessa Hale and killing Embry Call would make things easier, but I was wrong. Nothing about the last few weeks had been easier. Kate and Garrett did what they could to make Vanessa feel at home with them, but she'd been through hell and struggled on a daily bases with the events that occurred after her kidnapping. Much like I had over the last year and a half, Vanessa relived every moment of her ordeal in her nightmares, often fighting against Kate and Garrett as they held her down and kept her from hurting herself. More than once Garrett or Kate had called me at two in the morning and begged me to come talk Vanessa off the cliff. And I did, because for a reason that I couldn't explain, Vanessa trusted me.

"Bella," Edward called, and I turned from the girl, curled up in my arms to the man standing in the doorway of her bedroom.

He, Ben, and Angela had traveled back to Texas and packed up all of Vanessa's belongings and whatever they could savage of her parents. Neither Kate nor Vanessa could handle going to that house, but for different reasons. While Vanessa's were the memories of her parents, for Kate it was the fact that the people who lived there had given her away. I don't know if she blamed them, or just wish she knew why. All I knew for sure was that Kate was holding on to Vanessa — the only family she had left other than Garrett.

Edward tilted his head for me to follow him. I shifted Vanessa back onto her bed and waited a few seconds to make sure she'd stay asleep before I stood up and followed Edward downstairs to the living room. Garrett and Kate were sitting on the couch, both of them in their pajamas, as were me and Edward. They'd called three hours ago after finding Vanessa cowering away in her closet again.

Kate shifted her eyes over to mine. "Is she asleep?"

I nodded. "She'll be okay for the rest of the night."

Releasing a deep breath, Kate frowned. "Thank you for coming. I know we shouldn't keep asking you, but —"

"Don't," I said, interrupting her. "I want to help. Vanessa needs as many people holding her as we can. Besides, she made it three nights this week without having an episode. That's something to be happy about."

"And we are." Garrett wrapped his arm around Kate. "Just thank you for being here, Bella."

"You're welcome, I guess," I muttered. "We should go, but we'll see you later, okay?"

Garrett merely nodded so Edward and I walked out of their house and out to his car. While Edward drove us back to the beach house, I sat in the passenger seat with my knees pulled up to my chest and my head resting on top. Vanessa wasn't the only person trying to gain some control over herself. Since our return from New York, I'd been using mediation and relaxation techniques that Esme had taught me after she and Carlisle stopped me from putting a hole in my head. Or at least I was trying. Though my own nightmares weren't as intense as they had been, I was still having them.

"You're being quiet," Edward commented and I looked over at him. He'd parked in front of the beach house. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I honestly don't know."

Edward pushed open his car door and climbed out, walking around and opening mine. Offering me his hand, he smiled when I slipped my fingers over his palm and allowed him to help me out. Edward dropped my hand, but was quick to wrap his arm around my waist. I expected him to lead me into the house, but instead, Edward directed me toward the beach. Stopping at the edge of the water, Edward sighed and pulled me down so that we were both sitting in the sand.

"I feel guilty for wanting you to stay with me at the Bureau," he murmured moments later.

I shifted my attention to him, a frown curving my lips downward. "What?"

Edward smiled and shook his head. "It hurts you to be there, but damn it, Bella, I want to you to stay."

"I am staying," I said, unsure where this was coming from.

"But you shouldn't have to when it hurts you."

I laid my head on his shoulder. "Everything hurts, Edward. Being at Garrett and Kate's, holding Vanessa, being at the office."

"Being with me," he added softly.

"No," I disagreed. "You're the only part of my life that doesn't hurt, Edward."

Edward smiled. "But if being there is too much —"

"I can't leave again," I groused. "It's time for me to take back control of my life, and whether I want it to or not, the FBI is a huge part of who I am." Blowing out a deep breath, I added, "Besides, can't very well leave you and Garrett alone, can I?"

"No, you can't." Edward leaned down and kissed me. "Come on. Let's get ready for work."

—BR—

Two hours later, Edward parked his car in his usual space and the two of us headed into the building. When we first came back to Seattle after finding Vanessa Hale, people had stopped and stared at us, whispering about the team who defeated the now infamous Phillip Dwyer and Embry Call. The press had had a field day with the information stemming from both men's crimes, and they'd hailed them as the most dangerous men America had never known about. The Bureau had come under scrutiny, as well. The press outright accused the FBI of dropping the ball and I didn't disagree with them. Phil Dwyer and Embry Call had taken the lives of too many children.

Edward and I bypassed those around us and stepped onto the elevator and headed up to our floor. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, Angela, Carlisle, and Garrett were already at their desks when joined them. While things were better, less tense between the rest of the team and myself, I knew it would never be the same. Jasper and Emmett struggled to understand why I couldn't talk to my sisters — really talk to them — until I got my head straightened out. And Carlisle was trying to keep Esme from ripping our asses off for once again putting ourselves in a dangerous situation. She would never understand that fighting through hell was a part of our jobs.

"Morning," I muttered, unlocking my desk and placing my gun and badge inside, but refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Pulling out my file, I sighed. "Anything new?"

"Nope," Ben chirped. "Only two of the kids we found in New York can remember anything before they were taken, and their parents have refused to see them."

I shook my head. "Guess I'm not surprised."

"Yeah, me either," Angela grumbled. "Still sucks, though."

"That it does," I agreed.

Dropping into my chair, I opened the file and started flipping through the photographs of the three dozen children we'd found locked away inside the Liberty Drywall Warehouse. All of the children were between the ages of ten and sixteen, but that's about all we knew. We'd been combing through missing children's' reports, cross-matching them with the children's fingerprints, but so far only two children have come up, and both of them were disowned after their parents got fed up with their juvenile delinquencies, and had been under the impression that their sons had been locked up in a juvenile center. Of course, the center in question had no knowledge of the two fifteen year old boys, nor did any of the juvenile court systems, which told us Phil's reach was long. Like the girls who went missing at the hands of Mr. Big and Dementri Romanoff, we may never be able to find them all, and that thought alone had me shuddering.

After an hour of staring at photo after photo, I pushed away from my desk and walked down to the break room to refill my coffee. While my attention was focused on the children, Emmett and Jasper had been working with the lab in New York who had processed the warehouse, not that there was really anything for us to learn from that place. Ben and Angela were trying to sort through the mountain of files recovered from the warehouse in hopes that they'd lead us somewhere, but so far, they'd been nothing more than patient profiles. The scary part was that they dated back almost thirty years.

Walking into the break room, I groaned when I saw the glass coffee pot sitting on the burner with just a few drops of coffee left on the bottom. I slammed my cup onto the counter, yanked the pot off the burner, and spun on my heel, marching out of the room.

"Goddamn it, McCarty!" I snarled, just moments before I walked around the corner. "I've fucking told you to make more . . ."

My words died out in my throat when I saw Emmett and the rest of our team on their feet and glaring at Charlotte and Peter, who were standing less than ten feet from us. The silence and tension building around us was formidable.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snarled, clenching the pot tighter in my hand.

Charlotte shifted her eyes over to me, a creepy smile curving upward on her lips. "It's lovely to see you, too, Agent Swan."

"What are you doing here?" I repeated.

"I'd like to speak to you," she said, before looking over at Edward, "and you, Agent Masen." Before either of us could respond, charlotte turned to Carlisle. "And you, too, Agent Cullen."

"What about?" Edward asked, his tone laced with hatred.

Charlotte shifted her eyes from Carlisle to the rest of our team before settling on Edward. "I'd be more than happy to tell you once we're alone, Edward."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett and Jasper share a look while Ben and Angela's shoulders tensed. Garrett, who had been the most effected by The Program, shifted his eyes away.

"No," I said, drawing everyone's attention to me. "Whatever you have to talk to us about, you can do it in front of them. We're a team, something you know nothing about, Charlotte."

Narrowing her eyes at me, she simply nodded. "Very well." Peter handed the three folders he had tucked under his arm. Charlotte sauntered over and handed one to me, one to Edward, and the last one to Carlisle. "I'd like to offer you a position within The Program."

My mouth fell open as I stood there and stared at the crazy bitch. "Are you fucking kidding?"

Charlotte smiled — actually smiled! "No, Agent Swan, I don't joke when it comes to The Program."

"Are you on drugs? Did you hit your fucking head on the stupid tree this morning?" I snarked. "What the in the fuck makes you think we'd want anything to do with The Program?"

"Look, I know things are tense —"

Edward interrupted Charlotte. "Tense isn't a strong enough word for how fucked up everything here is." He paused and took a deep breath. "You and your program nearly cost Garrett and Kate their lives." Garrett shifted uneasily in his seat, and Edward continued. "Not to mention Emily, Lili, Zoe, Royce and Rebecca Hale, and countless others who did die. Now, again, why in the hell would we want anything to do with your fucking program?"

"The Program can offer —"

"Nothing," Carlisle seethed, throwing his file at her feet. "The Program can offer us nothing. You think I don't know that I'd have to leave my wife and daughters to be a part of The Program?"

"You wouldn't have to leave them. We can set you and your family up somewhere safe." A part of Charlotte actually believed the words she was speaking.

"Bullshit," I scoffed, and she huffed as she looked over at me. I gestured to Emmett and Jasper. "Are you taking them, too? Because they're our brothers." I pointed to Angela, Ben, and Garrett, "And they're family, too? Are you going to set up my parents, Edward's parents, my sisters?"

Charlotte shifted nervously, and I knew my answer.

"I didn't think so," I muttered.

"We don't have the funding," she groused.

I laughed. "Just take it from the FBI. That's what you do, isn't it? Funnel money from the government and use it to play God with people's lives."

"That is not what we do," Peter mouthed off.

Snapping my attention to him, I walked over to my desk and dug into my desk until I found the file I was looking for. Shoving it into his hands, I said, "Really? Then tell me why every department in the Bureau has a budget that is more than half a million dollars more than what was allocated."

"You don't understand," he tried, but shut his mouth when Emmett snorted.

"Oh, I think you'd be surprised by what Swan understands," he commented, and I almost smiled. "You're dirty, Director. Now, if I had my way, I'd splash this shit all over the place."

"Well, I guess it's good that you're not getting your way." At the sound of the deep, male voice behind us, everyone turned. Leaning against the wall next to the door leading to the stairwell, was Stefan LeStrange, head of the FBI.

**Thank you for the reviews and your continued patience. Three chapters left.**


	42. Chapter 41

Where Peter was the director of the Seattle Bureau of the FBI, Stefan LeStrange was the director of the entire organization and the only person he answered to was the President of the United States. So when he showed up, it was best to shut ones mouth and do as he said.

Stefan shifted his eyes from Emmett to Jasper, over to Ben, Angela, and Garrett, to Peter and Charlotte, then to Carlisle, onto Edward, before finally landing on me. He smiled and pushed himself off the wall.

"Well," he said, clapping his hands together, "I think pleasantries can be ignored this once and we can get straight to business. The information I am about to tell you does not leave this room, is that understood?" He paused and waited until we nodded. "The Program is an intricate part of our government and allows us the ability to track those like Mr. Dwyer who tend to stay off the radar. They are given resources that most of our departments can't have due to . . . constitutional restrictions. And because of these liberties, we've had to become creative when it comes to finding funding."

"Doesn't justify the way they operate, Director," I said, feeling everyone's penetrating stares turn in my direction. Taking a deep breath, I added. "Instead of coming to us directly about Dwyer and Embry Call, they," I gestured to Peter and Charlotte, "played a game of cat and mouse, putting Agent Mitchell's life on the line, as well as his wife's. They withheld vital information and it cost Emily her life."

"Yes, I know," Stefan stated. "And they are being dealt with. But the public cannot be made aware of the existence of The Program, or those involved in its day to day operations. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," I muttered.

After the rest of the team echoed their agreement, though reluctant, Stefan turned to Carlisle. "Agent Cullen, may I speak with you in your office?"

"Yes, sir." Carlisle shifted his eyes over to me before leading Stefan to his office.

However, before the older man with silver hair walked into the room, he stopped and looked back at me. "Agent Swan, why don't you join us?"

A lump filled my throat, but I managed to nod and say, "Yes, sir," before tossing Edward a look and walking over to Carlisle's office. The expression on my husband's face said it all: he was afraid of what was going to happen, too. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if they fired me. I'd been a loose cannon for too long, and now, I've ruined any chance I had of regaining control of my life.

Stefan closed the door behind me. Carlisle was standing in the middle of his office, as if he was unsure he should sit behind his desk or offer his chair to Stefan. The Director, however, sat down on Carlisle's black leather sofa, and crossed his legs in front of him, so Carlisle and I took the brown leather chairs that were in front of his desk and turn them toward Stefan before sitting down.

"Before I get into business, I would like to commend you both for your work on the Dwyer Case." Stefan shifted his eyes to me. "Agent Swan, you've been through a lot over the last few years, yet you stepped up to help when your team needed you the most. I admire that."

Guilt ate at me, but I just sat there, afraid that if I said anything I'd start to cry and the last thing I wanted was to cry in front of the Director.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush." Stefan uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. "Peter is out, which means I need someone to take over his position." Stefan shifted his attention to Carlisle. "And you're the right man for the job."

"What?" Carlisle gasped, a look of shock and surprise springing up on his face.

"You've got an impeccable record with the Bureau, and you've got what it takes to keep the Seattle branch running smoothly and efficiently."

Carlisle opened his mouth a half dozen times before he was able to speak. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

Stefan lifted an eyebrow.

"My team needs me to lead them," Carlisle explained, shifting his eyes to me and I understood. He was worried about me, how I would handle working the job if he wasn't there to clean up my messes.

"You should take it," I murmured, causing his eyes to widen. I could feel Stefan watching me. "This is an amazing opportunity, Carlisle — one that isn't going to come along every day. Think about yourself, your career."

He closed his eyes and I could see the war waging behind his eyes.

"Would it help," Stefan began, "if I assured you that your team would be protected?"

"Yes," Carlisle admitted. "But my team is unique, handpicked based on a variety of attributes that, when working together, make them unstoppable."

"That's true," Stefan agreed, turning his attention to me. "This is why I think Agent Swan would be the best choice in your replacement."

"What?" we blurted out together.

Stefan laughed. "I said —"

"We know what you said," I growled interrupting him.

"Hmm, yet you asked me what," he pointed out, smirking.

I clenched my jaw together to keep from spouting off.

Stefan smiled. "Agent Swan, you're a natural leader."

"I'm not," I disagreed. "I've just come back to the job after taking a year off, leaving my team to pick up the slack. A leader doesn't do that."

"That's true. A leader must put her team first, and that's what you did when you left."

"That makes no sense," I groused.

Stefan smiled. "In order for you to heal from the ordeal you suffered through required you to take time for yourself. Now, Agent Swan, I'm not a naïve man. I know that you're still struggling with what you went through. Most men would have refused to come back after what you've dealt with, but you saw that your team needed you and made the choice to put your needs aside and came back. And you're ready to lead them."

I shook my head. "You're wrong."

Stefan looked at his watch before standing up. "I don't need an answer right away. Give it a couple of days. Just don't let this opportunity pass either of you by. I'll be in touch later in the week."

"Okay, we'll think about it. Thank you." Carlisle followed Stefan to his office door and watched until he was in the elevator before closing the door and turning back toward me. "Can you believe this?"

"No," I scoffed, shaking my head. "Are you going to take it?"

"I don't know," he said, walking back over to the couch and sitting down. Grabbing my hands, he pulled me out of my chair and onto the cough next to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I was not expecting this."

"Me, either," I whispered.

"Guess we have a lot to think about, don't we?"

"Yeah, guess so." I scooted to the edge of the sofa. "Don't tell her yet, okay? Not until I decide what I'm going to do."

"Okay, but Esme will be supportive," Carlisle said.

I smiled. "She doesn't want me back here, Car. She'll support me and love me, but she won't agree that I'm where I am supposed to be."

"Can't argue with you there," Carlisle muttered with a sigh.

Leaving him in his office to mull over his offer, I was thankful that neither Charlotte nor Peter was waiting for me. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with him right them. I had enough on my mind. Edward caught my eye the moment I stepped through the door, sitting straighter in his seat. However, I needed another moment to collect myself so I grabbed the glass coffee pot from my desk and walked back down to the break room. I'd just started a fresh pot when I felt Edward's hands on my hips.

"What happened?" he whispered into my ear.

"Um," I started, but clamped my lips together when Emmett strolled in with his own cup.

"Stupid assholes really thought you'd go work with them," he jibed, slamming his cup on the counter next to me. Edward growled under his breath as he moved.

"I know, right?" I said, trying to keep my tone light. "Idiots."

"Yeah." Emmett brought his hand down to the counter and began tapping his nails. "So, um, Rose was thinking it might be nice to have a dinner this weekend. You know, with — with everyone."

I automatically tensed.

"Bella," he began.

"I — I can't," I whispered. The coffee finished brewing and I quickly filled my cup before leaving him and Edward standing in the break room. How could I lead this team when I couldn't even be in the same room as my sisters?

—BR—

Edward didn't attempt to ask me what Stefan wanted again for the rest of the day. Though, I did catch him watching me several times. I wanted to tell him, to beg him to help me decide what I should do, but I couldn't — not with everyone sitting around us. This was a decision that my husband and I needed to make together.

It was almost six before Edward and I packed up and headed to the elevator to go home. Carlisle was walking out of his office so I held the door open him.

"Thanks," he muttered, pressing the button for the lobby.

"You're welcome," I replied with a smile. "Big plans for tonight?"

"Um, no," he laughed. "Just hoping to get home in time to eat dinner with Esme and the girls."

I nodded. "How are the girls?"

"Big," he commented, quietly. "They miss you."

"I miss them, too," I murmured. "Maybe soon, okay?"

The doors opened and Carlisle stepped off, putting his hand up to keep the doors from closing. "I'm gonna take the offer, Bell." My mouth fell open, but he spoke first. "I'm not saying you should, but you're right. This isn't an opportunity that comes along every day. Maybe you should listen to your own advice."

Shifting my eyes to Edward first, I nodded and said, "Maybe."

Carlisle released a heavy breath. "If you need to talk, I'm always here, okay?"

"I know, Car. Me, too." I smiled and watched as he turned and walked away.

Edward and I followed. I could feel the unasked questions just begging for him to voice them, but he didn't. Instead, we climbed into his car, stopped to pick up take out from our favorite Chinese place, and drove to the beach house. It wasn't until we were sitting on the couch with our dinner in front of us that Edward said anything.

"Are you ready to tell me what the Director wanted?"

I sighed. "I guess. Peter's leaving the Bureau, so he offered Carlisle the position of Director over the Seattle Branch, and . . ." I paused.

"And?" Edward prompted.

"He, um, offered me C — Carlisle's job," I whispered.

Edward inhaled a deep breath, before dragging his hand across the back of his neck. "Wow."

"I know," I muttered. "Pretty crazy idea, right?"

"No," he scoffed, and I lifted an eyebrow in his direction. "You'd be a good boss, baby. Fuck, just imagine the role playing we could enjoy."

My cheeks warmed. "Be serious."

"Oh, I'm very serious." He smirked and grabbed my boob.

"Edward!" I laughed, pushing his hand away.

"What?" he asked. "You can be the cop and I'll be the bad guy."

I shook my head at him. "How can I lead this team when they don't respect me?"

Edward sighed, and brought his hand up to my face. "They do respect you, Bella. And you'll lead our team because you're passionate about the job."

I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. "They won't like it. They'll bitch about me being a basket case, about me losing control and letting them down."

"Look at me," he ordered, and I snapped my eyes open, finding him staring at me with so much intensity. "You have got to stop worrying about what Emmett, Jasper, Ben, or Angela thinks of you. None of them understand one bit of what you've been through, what you still go through. But you know what? You're here, and you're staying on the job. You're amazing and beautiful, and the team will be stronger with you as our leader."

"So you're saying I should accept the job?"

"No," he said. "I'm saying you can't let them decide if you're taking the job or not. Baby, I will support whatever you decide."

"But do you think I should take the job?" My tone was pleading, begging for him to talk to me.

"I do," he admitted. "Bella, since you first joined our team, you've been leading us. Hell, we were drowning in the Sanders' case. But you came waltzing in and gave us the push we needed to become better agents, to look harder. You should take the job."

"And if they refuse to work for me?" I asked. "Besides Angela, all of you have more time here."

"That doesn't matter," he replied. "Emmett, Jasper, Ben, Garrett—none of them have the mind to be a leader."

"And you?"

Edward smiled. "Neither do I. Take the job, Bella. You're ready."

While I wanted to agree with him, the doubt nagged at the back of my mind. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela hadn't hidden their feeling in regard to my mental ability. Why would they want to be on a team lead by me when they clearly thought I had lost my touch?

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	43. Chapter 42

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." From the seat next to me, Edward laughed. "It's not funny!"

"I know it's not," he snickered. "I was just experiencing the feelings of deja vu."

Confused, I shifted my eyes away from the large, brick house in front of us and looked at my husband. He was smirking, and I was tempted to either smack him or drag him into the backseat of my car and have my way with him. "What are you talking about?"

"After our disastrous undercover assignment, you said those same words to me," he replied with a frown. "Seems like we're always sitting out here, trying to get the courage to go inside, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." I wasn't sure what else to say, so I shifted my eyes back to the house.

The front curtain moved, and I had a sneaking suspicion Izzy had been watching us. It'd been almost three months since I'd seen her or Abby, my sisters, parents, Ed, Liz, or the boys; three months of me hiding away because just the thought of being in the same room with all of them scared the shit out of me. Now, here I was, sitting in my car in front of Carlisle and Esme's house on a Sunday afternoon and all because Edward had talked me into family dinner.

"Tell me again why I need to do this," I whispered.

Edward took hold of my hand, bringing it up to his lips. "Because hiding from them isn't doing you any good."

"They hate me."

"No, they don't understand why it's been hard, but they don't hate you."

I shook my head. "I left them. They reached out to me, but I pushed them away and left them. Like I did the team."

"Look at me," he murmured, and I shifted my attention to him. "You didn't leave the team. You needed time to deal with everything. None of us blame you for taking that time."

"You keep saying they don't blame me, but . . ." Trailing off, I huffed. "Promise you won't leave me alone."

"Baby, I'm never going to leave you," he vowed, and once again I believed the words that he'd told me so many times over our five year relationship.

"I love you," I whispered.

Edward smiled. "I love you, too."

Releasing another deep breath, I opened the car door and climbed out. Edward met me in front of the car, sliding his arm around my waist and nearly dragging me up the front walk, onto the porch, and to the door. I could feel my body trembling. My arms hung at my sides like dead weights, and my hands were clenched into tight fists. Edward pressed his lips against the side of my head as he knocked on the door.

From inside the house, I could hear the sounds of my family. Izzy's infectious laughter trickled through the thick, hardwood door and I could hear Esme calling out for her to stop running. Moments later, the door opened and I found myself face to face with Esme.

"Bella," she murmured, and behind her everyone stopped moving and looked over at us.

Alice and Rose were standing in front of the fireplace; Judd was in Alice's arms and Miles in Rose's. Charlie, Renee, Ed, and Elisabeth were sitting on the couches, and they were looking over their shoulders at me. From behind them, I saw Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle, who was holding twenty-two month old Abby while nine year old Izzy stood in front of him.

"Come in," Esme said, pulling my attention back to her as she took a step backward. Edward tightened his arm around me and shuffled me into the house. Tears filled my eyes and I struggled to keep them from falling. Esme closed the door behind her and I jumped, the sound of the door clicking startled me. "Sorry."

"It's okay," I whispered just loud enough for her to hear me.

"Auntie Bella?" My attention shifted to Izzy, who was smiling. Slowly, she walked across the room until she was standing in front of me. Holding her arms open, she silently asked me for a hug, and my heart broke. Once upon a time, she would have leapt into my arms, squealing and giggling, but now, she was afraid to move around me. Allowing a tear to slide down my face, I reached out and drew her into my arms, hugging her as tight as I could. "I missed you, Auntie Bella."

"I've missed you, too," I wept. "You've gotten so big. I bet all the boys are chasing after you."

"A few," she giggled as she pulled away. From behind her, I saw Carlisle, Charlie, and Ed grimace at her words. "But I'm not letting them catch me."

"That's good," I murmured, bringing my fingers up to her face.

An awkward silence filled the room, and I brought my hand up to my chest, letting my fingers graze the scars under my shirt. I wasn't sure what to say to them, so I just stood there while they stared wordlessly at me. It wasn't until Esme cleared her throat and placed her hand on my shoulder that their attention shifted from me to her.

"You two got here just in time," she said. "Lunch is almost ready." Esme turned to me. "Help me get everything on the table?"

I simply nodded. Esme slid her hand down my arm and took hold of my hand, nearly dragged me into the kitchen. She released me and moved over to the oven, opening the door and pulling out a large, delicious smelling ham, a pan of scalloped potatoes, and broccoli, cheese, and rice casserole.

She turned and looked at me. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Didn't really want to," I admitted, sitting at her breakfast table.

Esme nodded. "You're staying with the Bureau, aren't you?"

"Yes," I murmured. Esme's shoulder's tensed. "I can't leave again."

"No, I know you can't," she replied, turning back to the stove. "Maybe you would have healed better if you'd stayed in the first place."

"Maybe." Esme pulled out a knife and began slicing the ham, placing it on a platter. I stood up and walked over to her, slipping my arms around her waist and laying my head on her shoulder. "I know you don't think I should, Es, but I can't leave them again, not after everything. The job is a part of who I am."

"I know that, Bell," she sighed, covering my hands with her own. "But I worry about you, Edward, and Carlisle." Esme sighed and turned in my arms. "I love you, Bella. I will always be here for you, as long as you want me to be."

"I love you, too," I cried. "I'm scared, terrified that I'm making a mistake by staying, making a mistake if I leave. There's just . . . I left them once, and Garrett and Kate were nearly killed. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and Angela don't trust me. Carlisle treats me like a girl, and Edward . . . well, Edward's holding on as tight as he can. If I leave again, I'll lose all of them, and I need them, Esme. Need them more than I should."

Before she could reply, Izzy and Abby came running into the kitchen with Edward chasing after them. Izzy attached herself to my leg while Abby leapt into my arms, giggling so hard she could barely breathe.

"Oh, little girls, you got lucky Auntie Bella was here to save you!" Edward grumbled, and pretended to pout.

"Auntie Bella will always save us," Izzy stated, and somehow I knew the comment meant more than just from their silly uncle while he chased them. "Mom, is it time to eat yet? Grandpa said he's so hungry, he could eat a horse!"

Esme laughed. "Yes. Tell everyone to get to the table."

"Okay." Izzy smiled at me before she walked past Edward and into the living room. Looking down, I found the Abby had fallen asleep on my shoulder.

"Guess she was tired," I whispered, rubbing her back.

"She hasn't been sleeping much," Esme said, and though the comment wasn't directed at me personally, I knew the stress of our case had put everyone on edge, especially with Carlisle having to be gone so much. "Give her to me, and I'll go put her down for a nap."

"I'll do it," I insisted.

Esme stared at me for a moment before nodding. Holding Abby tighter, I carried her out of the kitchen, vaguely aware of the way everyone stopped and stared at me as I walked through the living room and down the hallway to her bedroom. Carlisle and I had spent two weekends painting her walls a soft pink, adding some butterflies on the wall. When I laid her in her crib, Abby began to whimper, so I rubbed her back. She calmed down and a smile spread on over her lips. She was so beautiful, the perfect mix of her mother and father.

Once I was sure she wouldn't wake up again, I walked out of her room, leaving the door cracked open. I found everyone crowded around the dining room table. Carlisle and Esme were sitting at one end of the table. Ed, Elizabeth, and Edward sat on one side and there was an empty chair next to Edward, which I presumed was for me. Izzy was sitting next to the empty chair, while Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper squeezed into the other side. Judd and Miles were asleep, curled up together in a playpen. The tension in the room was thick. Without a word, I slid into the empty chair and shifted my eyes to the empty plate in front of me.

"Well, this all looks delicious," Elizabeth said, breaking through the silence.

"Thanks, Mom," Esme said.

"Bella." At the sound of my father's voice, I shifted my eyes up. Charlie and Renee were watching me with tears in their eyes. "Honey . . ." He trailed off, clearly unsure of what to say to me. "We've been calling."

I nodded, but still didn't say anything.

"We've been worried about you," Renee added, and again I wasn't sure what to say. I knew they worried. Neither of them had hidden their displeasure over of my choice of career. Though we'd worked hard to overcome the challenges in our relationships, they'd been happy when I left the FBI. Now, here I was going back to the job that sent me to hell on more than one occasion.

"Say something," Alice pleaded and I shifted my eyes to her. "Please, say something, anything, but don't just sit there ignoring us anymore."

I turned from her, but my lips parted and I heard myself speaking. "I don't know what to say to you."

"How about 'hello'?" Rose suggested. "We call, we beg, yet you just ignore us."

Edward slipped his arm around me, but didn't say anything.

"I couldn't talk to you," I replied, trying to keep the tremor out of my words.

"You choose not to," Charlie said, and I shook my head. "Goddamn it, Isabella, say something!"

Next to me, Izzy gasped. "Grandpa!"

Shifting my eyes to my goddaughter, I frowned. "Nothing I say is going to make anything better. Nothing I do is going to make you understand how hard every moment of every really is."

"You're not giving us a chance," Alice argued, and I closed my eyes. "Bella!"

"What, Alice?" I snarled, standing up. "What the fuck do you want from me? Do you want me to scream? To cry? Are you going to make the fear and pain go away? Because it hurts to breathe every motherfucking minute of every motherfucking day!"

Startled, Izzy jumped out of her seat and rushed around the table to where Esme was sitting. Esme cradled Izzy against her as she stood up. "She doesn't need to hear this."

With that said, Esme led Izzy out of the dining room. I took a deep breath. "I'm terrified to be sitting at this table. In the three minutes since I've been in this room, I've had a dozen scenarios flash through my head of all of you hurting me, beating me, killing me. They are so real, I can almost feel your hands on my body, which causes me to fight the urge to lash out at you."

She leaned back in her chair, her mouth wide open. "You're afraid of me?"

"I'm afraid of everything," I murmured. "I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is look around my bedroom, expecting to be back inside that shack, tied to that chair while they hurt me. Not even Edward can take away the fear I feel every moment of every day, and he is the only constant I have in my life right now."

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back into my seat. I knew my words hurt him, but he also understood. After all, it had only been a handful of weeks ago that he'd found himself in Phil Dwyer's clutches.

"I'm a fucked up mess," I admitted. "Trust me; my selfish behavior has been made emphatically clear to me." Emmett and Jasper shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. I brought my hand up to my chest. "None of you make it easy for me to deal with the shit inside my head. I thought leaving the job would make everything better, but all it did was give me a different place to hide. After Garrett and Kate . . ."

I shuddered and shook my head. "I didn't want to go back on the job, but I couldn't stay away, not when they needed me. So I tried to deal, I tried to pretend that I had everything under control. There is so much that I can't tell you, so much that happened, but needless to say I let my team down when they needed me the most."

"We never said you let us down," Jasper argued.

Edward and Carlisle snorted, while I shifted my eyes to Jasper. "You did, more times than I can count, but you weren't wrong. I was supposed to be there, to lead you, to help find the monsters, but I wasn't. Because of me, Garrett and Kate were attacked, you were torn away from Rose and Alice in the middle of the night, and Edward got hurt."

"We never meant to make it seem like you let us down, Swan," Emmett said, leaning forward. "But we couldn't sit back and watch you self-destruct, either."

"And this isn't about the job." Rose huffed. "This is about you pushing our family away. All we want is to help you, to be there for you, but you refused to let us."

"You couldn't," I exclaimed. "Do you really think there has been a day that has gone by in the last year that I haven't reached for the phone to call you, Rosie?"

"Yes," she admitted with trembling lips. "You don't trust us; you never have and you clearly never will."

"It's not about trust," I disagreed.

"Bullshit," Alice groused. "Look, we've made mistakes, Bella, but I thought we had put all of that behind us after . . ." she trailed off as she looked from Charlie back to me. "How could we be there for you when you refused to let us?"

"You couldn't be there for me," I told her. "None of you understand what the last year has been like for me. And that's my fault because instead of facing my problems, I was weak and hid like a little bitch. Now, I have to find a way to get rid of the monsters inside my head."

"So it's true then." I shifted my attention to Renee. "You're staying with the Bureau."

Rose, Alice, Ed, Elizabeth, and Charlie turned toward me as I said, "Yes."

Renee's eyes closed. "You're never going to be safe."

"Maybe not," I murmured, standing up. "But I won't abandon my team again."

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I walked out of the dining room and down to Izzy's bedroom, finding her and Esme lying on her bed with a book. I knocked on the door, causing them to look over at me. Knowing I needed a minute with Izzy, Esme climbed off the bed and left us alone.

I moved over to the bed and sat down. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It's okay," she whispered, sitting up with her knees in front of her.

"No, it's not okay, Izzy." I sighed and looked over at her. "I never want to you be afraid of me, sweetheart."

"I'm not," Izzy told me.

"No?"

She smiled. "Of course not! How can I be scared of you when you're my hero?"

"You still think of me as your hero?" I gasped with tears filling my eyes.

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked, frowning again.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Because I haven't been the aunt you deserve."

"Daddy says that you've been trying to get better after the bad men took you last year."

I nodded.

"Are you getting better?" she asked.

"I'm trying," I told her. "But it's hard."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

The hopeful look in her eyes was inspiring. "Just love me."

"Oh, Auntie Bella," she sighed and moved onto the knees, hugging me, "I will never stop loving you."

"Then I'll be just fine, sweetheart."

After a few minutes, Izzy and I heard Abby start fussing so we went into her bedroom. She smiled when I picked her up. Cradling her on my hip, Izzy and I went back to the dining room, where everyone stopped eating and looked over at us. Edward smiled at the sight of the girls snuggled up against me.

"Here," Esme said, standing up. "I'll take Abby."

"I've got her," I murmured, sitting back in the chair next to Edward. "You eat."

"Bella —"

"I'll make you and Abby a plate, Auntie Bella," Izzy interjected, picking up the empty plate in front of me.

"Thank you, sweetheart."

While she placed some ham, potatoes, green beans, and the broccoli, cheese, and rice casserole on my plate, everyone else just stared — everyone but Edward. He leaned over and kissed Abby's chubby cheek, earning him a giggle.

"She doesn't like the potatoes," Izzy told me, setting the plate in front of me.

"Oh, okay." I smiled as I cut a piece of the ham and offered it to Abby, who laughed before she ate it.

"You're gonna be okay, Auntie Bella," Izzy declared, fixing her own plate.

"I am?" I asked.

She nodded and sat down. "Even though you're scared, I'm here for you. After all, family doesn't quit on each other, right?"

Shifting my eyes between my sisters, my parents, Ed, Elizabeth, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and then finally Edward, I nodded. "Right."

And with all my heart, I hoped and prayed that she was right. For the first time in months, I was able to sit in the same room with the people who meant everything to me. It might have been a small step, but it was step nonetheless.

**Thank you for all the reviews. One chapter to go!**


	44. Chapter 43

The sand cushioned my feet as I once again found myself running along the shoreline of the beach. The sound of the waves crashing against the earth and the seagulls swooping in and out of the water could be heard over the panting breath I pushed out of my mouth. Behind me, Edward tried to keep up. I'd told him I would be all right on my own, but he simply caressed my face between his fingers and told me to "shut the fuck up and let me go with you."

I loved him.

As had been the usual over the last few days, weeks — hell, the last year — my dreams had been filled with young girls begging me to help them, the cries of the innocent, and the pleads for me to hurry. The faces were all too familiar. They were a perfect mixture of the women who had been killed at the hands of James Sanders, the women who had been taken by Mr. Big and Demetri Romanoff, and the children whose lives had been ruined by Phil Dwyer and Embry Call. I'd come to realize they'd always be with me, and that while there was nothing more I wanted than to save them all, I was only one woman.

When Edward and I reached the bluffs, about two miles from our beach house, we turned and started to run back home. My legs were heavy, my heart racing, and I knew that it wasn't just because I was running. No, today Carlisle and I were announcing our decision to accept the job offers Stefan LeStrange had presented to us. Nobody other than me, Carlisle, Edward, and Esme knew of our promotions.

Though Carlisle had decided nearly a week ago to accept his new position as Director of the Seattle Bureau of the FBI, he hadn't wanted to create panic within the team when I hadn't made the decision to take on the leadership of the team. The last thing either of us wanted was the team to think Carlisle was abandoning them, too. It was hard enough knowing that I didn't have their trust anymore; he didn't need that burden, too. After weighing the pros and cons, talking the matter to death with Edward, Carlisle, and Esme, all of who thought I should take the job, I decided to accept the offer. So Carlisle and I called Stefan the day before and officially accepted the positions, effective immediately.

Slowing to a walk as the beach house came into view, I brought my hands up to my sides, rubbing the burn and trying to catch my breath.

Edward flopped down on the porch, dragging his hands over his face and through his sweat soaked hair. "Clearly, I've been indulging in too many beers. That run kicked my ass."

"Hmm, maybe I'm going to have to make weekly weigh-ins mandatory at the office." I sat down next to him. "Sure everyone would love that."

"Probably not." He sighed as he tucked his arm under his head. "It's going to be okay. They're going to accept you as the boss."

I smiled. "You can't know that."

"Yes, I can," he chuckled. "Didn't you know? I'm a mind reader."

Lifting an eyebrow, I shifted so that I was straddling him. Edward moaned and brought his hands to my waist. "If you're a mind reader, then what am I thinking?"

A devilish smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth and he sat up while pulling the front of my body flush against his. "You want me to fuck you."

My cheeks heated. "Then why aren't you?"

Edward growled before crushing his mouth against mine. Somehow, he managed to stand up with my body wrapped around his and carried me into the house, straight through to our bedroom. He laid me on the bed, before crawling up between my legs. His fingers teased the hem of my tank top.

"Please!" I whined.

"Patience," he snickered, sliding his hand beneath the red, cotton. Slowly — too slowly in my opinion — Edward peeled my shirt off, followed closely with my sports bar. My body was covered in sweat from our run, but he didn't seem to care as he brought his mouth down and wrapped his lips around one of my nipples.

"Jesus fuck!" I gasped. "Don't fucking tease me. I need you inside of me now!"

Edward shifted his eyes up to my face, his green orbs filled with lust and need. Faster than I thought possible, he stripped my shorts and panties off before nearly tearing his off. Rolling me onto my hands and knees, I knew Edward wanted this hard and fast, which I was all too happy to give him.

Grabbing my hips in his large hands, Edward thrust into me, filling me in one swift movement. In that moment, everything in my life was perfect.

—BR—

Edward and I were the first two to arrive at the office. We'd just settled at our desks when the elevator opened and Carlisle stepped off. To the untrained eye, he looked calm and collected as always, but I knew him—the real him. He was just as afraid as I was about how the rest of the team was going to react to our promotions. Instead of going into his office, or my office I guess, Carlisle came over to me and Edward, pulled Ben's desk chair over and sat down.

"Emmett and Jasper were just coming into the building when the elevator closed, and Ben and Angela were in the gym," he said softly. He looked over at me. "Are you ready for this?"

I shook my head. "No, but we can't wait, right?"

"Maybe one more day," he muttered, bring his hand up to the back of his neck.

Reaching out, I grabbed the front of his shirt, tugging him toward me. Carlisle smiled as our foreheads touched. "You know I love you, right?"

"I do," he murmured. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward smile. It was a relief not to have to worry about him becoming jealous over the hold Carlisle had over of me. Edward was my life, my everything. "I love you, too. And I know you're scared, but you're ready for this."

Before I could reply, the doors to the elevator opened and Emmett, Jasper, Garrett, Ben, and Angela stepped off. Carlisle kissed my forehead before he leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs.

"S'up, guys," Emmett said, dropping his bag on top of his desk. Jasper simply nodded toward us while Ben looked from his desk to Carlisle but didn't ask why Carlisle was sitting in his chair.

"Man, I'm tired," Angela grumbled as she turned and headed toward the break room. However, Carlisle kicked my leg, causing me to cry out, "Fuck," and she stopped and looked back at me. "Did you just kick her?"

"Yep," he replied, giving me a look and tilting his head toward his team — my team.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed away from my desk and stood up, turning so that I was facing them. "Everyone have a seat."

"What's going on?" Emmett asked, folding his arms across his chest. None of them moved toward their chairs.

"Have a seat," I repeated myself, placing my hands on my hips.

Emmett and Jasper shared a look, but sat down. Angela slipped into her chair, while Ben and Garrett sat down on the edge of their desks. Shifting my eyes to Edward and then to Carlisle, I said, "Before we get started with our work, Carlisle and I have an announcement to make. I'll let Carlisle go first."

"Bitch," he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for me and Edward to hear him and stood up. Clapping his hands together, he looked at each of them before speaking again. "I've been offered Peter's position as Director of the Seattle Branch." Everyone's eyes widened. "And I'm taking it, effectively immediately."

"What?" Emmett blurted. "Like starting today?"

Carlisle nodded. "I've already cleaned out my stuff and moved everything upstairs to my new office."

Emmett blew out a hefty breath, while Jasper shook his head. "So what happens to the team while you're off running the FBI?"

Carlisle cleared his throat but didn't say anything.

"I'm taking over the team," I murmured, feeling everyone look over at me.

"You?" Jasper said, and I nodded. He ran his hand through his hair before gripping the back of his neck.

"Well, that's good," Garrett replied, standing up. He walked over to me, and offered me his hand. "Congratulations, Boss."

"Don't call me boss," I muttered, shaking his hand but keeping my attention on Emmett and Jasper.

"Would you prefer team queen?" Angela asked, smiling.

"No," I told her while Garrett congratulated Carlisle. "Emmett, Jasper, say something."

"I don't know what to say," Emmett admitted.

"This is unexpected," Jasper added. I nodded, shifting my eyes away from them. "But right."

I snapped my attention back to him. "What do you mean?"

Jasper smiled. "Regardless of what's gone down between us over the last year, Swan, we've always thought of you as a leader. You're smart, you have good instincts, and you usually call us on our bullshit. Now, I know you still have a lot of shit to deal with, but this is where you are supposed to be. I'll follow your lead, Swan."

"Yeah?" I asked, blinking back the tears that filled my eyes.

Jasper nodded. "Just don't expect me to call you boss. That shit ain't cool."

"No fuck," Emmett scoffed, tilting his head up and looking over at me. "I'll follow you, too, Swan. To hell and back if needed."

"Let's just hope you don't have to," I whispered, furiously wiping a tear off my cheek.

"Well, I should probably get to work," Carlisle said, clearing his throat once again. "Guys, I just want you all to know that leading this team, getting to work with each of you has been an amazing experience. I know that with Bella in charge, you're going to continue to thrive. My door is always open."

"Except when the wife is here," Emmett snickered.

"Dude!" Edward grumbled. "That's my sister!"

Everyone laughed. Carlisle placed his hand on my arm before he picked up his briefcase and walked over to the elevator. As the doors closed and we listened to the elevator take him to his new position, my heart ached. Carlisle had brought me into the Bureau, and now, he was moving on. Sighing, I shifted my eyes over to my team.

"Don't just stand there moping," I ordered. "Get your asses to work."

"Yes, ma'am, boss." Emmett smirked as he saluted me and then turned back to his desk. Jasper, Ben, Garrett, Angela, and Edward laughed.

Ignoring them, I picked up my bag and walked over to my new office, pausing in the doorway. I shifted my eyes over my shoulder to Edward, who was watching me with a gorgeous smile. He nodded his head as if to tell me it was okay to keep going. Returning his smile, I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. The walls were bare, as was the desk, but I didn't mind. It was mine. As I sat in the brown, leather chair, I leaned back and smiled.

_Here we go_, I thought.

**Thank you for all the reviews. This journey has been an emotional rollercoaster for our characters, and for me. There were times when it was very hard to get myself into the proper mood to write such gritting angst, but overall, I think the story turned out good. Thank you again to everyone who has been along for the ride. All three of these stories hold a special place in my heart.**


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